Urban Word Wednesday: Bubblytude

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Bubblytude (Noun) a state of being lively, animated, excited or full of high spirits.

Bubblytude

Examples Of Use:

Y’all have seen hubby’s footage of my Canadian Tire dancing, right?

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Well the antics continued last night. Hubby and I hit Costco and Sobeys last night to pick up some foodies for over the holiday season (cause y’all know what happens when I bake). For me, there is nothing funner than shopping for yummy treats and tasties for the holiday season. It puts me in an over-the-top kind of mood.

Hubby and I enjoyed this convo while I was moon walking and doing the running-man up the aisles. I totally made a spectacle of myself…and loved every minute!

Hubby: you got the best shopping dance moves…should I take another video for your fans?

Me: I think one video of me dancing is quite enough for the fans.

Hubby: shopping certainly agrees with you.

Me: something about it just puts me in a bubblytude kind of mood.

Hubby: there’s nothing sexier than you with a bubblytude!

Me: don’t I know it…you know what else puts me in a bubblytude?

Hubby: what??? And I’ll be sure to get more of it.

Me: Jenny Hansen…she’ll be guest posting tomorrow on something quite naughty…something too naughty for More Cowbell (as if such a thing existed)…squeeeeeeee

Hubby: oh God….I better brace myself….

Me: if I know Jenny…it’ll have us in fits of giggles…I can’t wait! I’ll be dishing some dating dirt on her blog.

Hubby: you two are incorrigible…I can’t wait!

What gets you in a bubblytude? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

For the month of November and December, I am proud to be taking part in the Holiday Yum Blog Hop where a group of uber bloggers will regale you with recipes and funny cooking stories.

This week’s highlights:

Already Posted:

Stay tuned for:

  • December 23: Jess Witkins will entice us with either some comfort food or appetizer
  • December 26: Kathy Owen will come through with beef rib-eye roast with currant jelly brown gravy
  • December 28:  I will give you some fabulous Mocktail options for your New Year’s Eve parties

Be sure to check out our ever uberlicious host, Kathy Owen’s Holiday Yum page and leave her some blog hop luv!

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Urban Word Wednesday: Kennie

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME (and hubby)…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Kennie: the name for the inner ring of muscles surrounding the anus.

Examples Of Use:

Now I know you are all wondering how in God’s name this term, in this context, happened to come up between me and hubby. Buckle up peeps. It’s hubby’s last name. We were at breakfast on the weekend when we enjoyed this conversation…

Me: alright Kennie…you ready to go?

Hubby: did I mention I looked up what Kennie means in the Urban Dictionary.

Me: you searched your last name???

Hubby: I was curious, what can I say? And I was not happy with what I found.

Me: do tell!  

Hubby: Kennie is the inner ring of muscles in the anus!

Me: seriously?!?! OMG that’s perfect. *ROFL*

Hubby: I didn’t find it very funny!

Me *between giggles*: really??? Because I find it kind of suiting…you can be quite the ass…and it turns out you technically are one. How perfect!

*thought the waitress ringing in our check was going to fall over*

Hubby: you are disturbing!

Me: OMG the fun I am going to have with this. Come on Kennie, let’s get you home so you can relieve yourself. How are you feeling today Kennie…super stretched or tight as a drum? What’s coming down the pipe Kennie? O.M.G this is fabulous!

Hubby: I regret telling you already!

Me: you know you love it. Now get your ass together and let’s go…

Ever google or urban dictionary your first or last name? Any deranged meanings? Any nasty (meant with the greatest of love) pet names for your significant other? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

Urban Word Wednesday: Ugly Naked

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Ugly Naked (by hubby): When doing some sort of activity naked that makes you body look less attractive than it really is; the opposite of good naked.

Examples Of Use:

Hubby and I went to see Sinister (how they got me in the theater is beyond me) with our friends Laura and J-Dog on the weekend. I am taking Death by Hip Hop with Laura on Tuesday nights. We were sitting in a packed theatre when we (and the guests around us) rolled with laughter over this convo.

Me: Laura, have you showed Jeremy our dance yet?

Laura: not on your life…why…have you?

Me: yip, last Tuesday night when we got home. It was kind of slow motion cause I kept forgetting the moves but he got the drift….and I just happened to be heading for my bath so I did it naked.

*Laura and J-Dog burst out laughing*

Laura: shut up?!?! Naked?!?!

Me: Oh yes…brave aren’t I? Everything was jiggling and wiggling. I think it added to the “gangstanest” of the performance.

Hubby: she’s something else guys. All I gotta say is there is good naked and ugly naked…and unfortunately slow motion Hip Hop falls into ugly naked.

Me: in my defence, I think music would have made all the difference.

Hubby: sad to say but I think naked Hip Hop is just ugly naked my love.

Me: you’re probably right…everything felt unsupported and I just couldn’t seem to tap into my inner dancer. Try going “deep” in the knee bends when you know you’re giving your man a full monty, IYKWIM?!! I just felt…so exposed! Then all that hopping…ewwwww…

Laura: after we’ve learned the entire dance, we’ll give the boys a show with music…and clothes!

Ever seen ugly naked? Ever do some ugly naked dance moves? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

Urban Word Wednesday: Macturbate

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

I am still giggling and teeheeing over yesterday’s guest post with Jenny (gonna have to have that girl visit way more often)…did y’all see the comments? O.M.G. riot! Be sure to check it out today if you haven’t already.

Now…on to today’s fun!

Macturbate: v. to pleasure oneself through use of an Apple product.

Examples Of Use:

On Friday, Hubby and I were on vacay so we decided to hit a matinee. When we got to the mall, where our theatre is, we had about an hour to kill so I lured hubby down to the new Jump+ store. They sell Apple products. Hubby had to remove me from the store when I started drooling on things. The store sales representative seemed to get quite a kick out of us. Since we were the only two in the store, I am sure he couldn’t help but overhear.

Me: OMG, I want one of everything.

*I said as I lovingly ran my fingers over the MacBook Pro with Retina display laptop keyboard*

Hubby: really? I don’t get the big deal? Mac, Dell, whatever?!?!

Me: bite your tongue. Don’t talk so loose! These are MAC babies and they can hear you.

Hubby: if you could have anything in here, what would buy?

Me: one??? I’m torn between a MacBook Pro for the speed and the RETINA display or a MacBook Air for the dreamy light yet still powerful speed…drool! Quite frankly, I could macturbate with either and be quite satisfied.

*I thought hubby was going to choke*

Hubby: macturbate?!?!?! What in God’s name are you going to do to it?

 Me: get your mind out of the gutter hubby. There’s nothing dirty about macturbating. Mac people do it every day…all the time…you know, pleasure oneself through the use of an Apple product. I mean…just touch the keyboard here and feel the ripple of pleasure through your finger tips…ahhhh…

*At this point hubby started pulling me out of the store*

Hubby: we need to go before you get us arrested…

What is your dream computer? Think Macs rule the world or are all laptops pretty much the same? Which Mac would you recommend I get? Do you macturbate? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

Urban Word Wednesday: Voicemail Voice

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Voicemail Voice: A more serious, professional tone of voice typically reserved for voicemail greetings. It’s often misused in casual, less business-oriented settings.

Examples Of Use:

Hubby and I were at the airport gearing up to fly home after an absolutely stellar weekend at the MADD Canada leadership conference. We were catching a connection in Ottawa and were running late. I stopped to grab a quick coffee and the barista noticed my new, pink and white I Promise bracelet. We enjoyed a little chit-chat while she prepared my caramel macchiato.

Barista: OMG that is so cute. What’s the promise for?

Me: I know…isn’t the pink and white fabulous. The bracelet signifies the promise I’ve made to drive sober.

Barista: really? Wow. That’s kind of cool. I didn’t know there was such a thing. Where do you get them?

Me: oh you can get them from the company’s website. It’s www.ipromisemom.com and the bracelets cost $5 with $2 going to MADD Canada. They have a ton of colors. You should check them out. They even have key chains and you can custom order a bracelet.

Barista: soooo cool!!! Thanks…

*I walk away to join hubby and head to our gate*

Hubby: look at you little I Promise sales rep!

Me: gotta spread the word big guy!

Hubby: absolutely…I think you did a great job but what was that voice you were using? High pitched and all excited…you were like the ultimate used car sales person….schmoozing her right up!

 Me: that was my voicemail voice. I thought it sounded more professional. Too much?

Hubby: never too much…maybe you could bring that voice to the bedroom…and sell me?!?!? Very hot!

Do you have a voicemail voice? When do you break out the ultimate professional tone? Do people tend to respond to you differently based on your voice and approach? How would make out as a sales person? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

Urban Word Wednesday: Pudge and a few of its dirty relatives

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Pudge: Belly fat; the fat over your abs. For an extreme amount of pudge, more u’s can be added for emphasis (puuuuuuudge).

You haven’t been around the block till y’a met pudge’s dirty cousin (she’s totally into women); Pussy Fat: The fat surrounding the pussy. And her super raunchy auntie (she comes by it honestly…and the two go everywhere together…total ho’s!); Gunt: A protruding sack of fat which extends from the lower abdomen to the upper genital area (gut+cunt=gunt).

Examples Of Use:

I started a Hip Hop dance class this week. Kill me now. After I staggered home hardly able to walk, I headed straight to the bathtub for a soak in Epsom salts where hubby and I had the following discussion as I was drying off; much to our own private delight. Enjoy the peak into our fabulous insanity.

Me: this aging thing is for the birds. I’ve noticed that even my feet are starting to wrinkle. And don’t even get me started on this new piece of pussy fat. What in God’s name is that?

Hubby: pussy fat…where?

*I demo by grabbing the new slightly fleshy part above my hooha*

Hubby: So what?! You’ve got a little gunt. No big deal.

Me: WHAT?!?! I HAVE A GUNT?!?!

Hubby: it’s tiny…seriously! To be honest, it’s more like a wee bit of pudge. You are just a bit pudgy.

Me: OMG I have a gunt…I can’t believe it. I wonder if there are any exercises I can do to flatten it. I don’t mind a little belly fat but there’s no way I can tolerate a gunt. This has gone too far.

Hubby: honey, seriously…I should have never used the G-word. You are ok…relax…you do not have a gunt! And even if you did, it’d be the sexiest little gunt around.

 Me: I’m gonna need more than Hip Hop to fix this.

Ok people, I need some lower abdomen work out tips and tricks. Gotta flatten and tone the gunt before it gets out of control…Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

  • Got a great kick out of Leanne Shirtliffe’s post on flea market vocabulary…cause I could totally see my hubby in his place. LOL!
  • JUST about peed myself laughing so hard when I read Noa’s post are you a strong lady or just an enormous asshole? OMG! I am totally forwarding that around. I know some gals that need this as a benchmark! Myself included.
  • Funniest. Blog Post. EVER! Tameri Etherton had the strangest massage and had us all in tears laughing about it. Join in.

Urban Word Wednesday: Lightweight Reader

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Lightweight Reader: Someone who gets sleepy or passes out shortly after starting to read.

Examples Of Use:

Hubby and I started back to Death by Swimming this week. We were waiting in the pool entrance area to go to our class along with a couple of our adult co-swimmers and dozens of kids and parents. We enjoyed the following conversation much to the parents’ delight.

Hubby: I woke up at 2 am last night with the light still on and my Kindle on my chest! I was so mad. This new Ted Dekker book is fantastic but I can’t seem to get very far…I read for like 2 minutes and then I pass out.

Me: sorry to tell ya, it was more like 2 seconds big guy!

HubbyI know…it sucks. And I’ve always been like that. It was a struggle to get through school.

Meyou’re lightweight reader. It doesn’t matter where you are or what you are doing, you start reading and BAM, you are asleep…in like seconds. Last week camping, I looked out to find you in your folding chair, head on your chest, sound asleep with your Kindle on your lap. Like who can fall asleep sitting UP in those uncomfortable chairs!?!?! Only a lightweight reader…

HubbyI know. It’s crazy and I don’t know what to do. It’s like my Kindle is a sleeping pill.

Me: well, you are gonna have to man up if you want to read with the big dogs. I can get through a book a week. Try to keep up would ya?

Hubby: I am gonna have to take up drinking coffee…or try reading at the kitchen table!

Are you a lightweight reader or can you breeze through words on a page for hours? Even lying down? Know a lightweight reader? Any tips for hubby on staying awake? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

  • Jenny from the Blog’s post on who wouldn’t want to be a MILF (mom I’d like to f*ck) is a riot! I near fell over. So true!
  • New blog I found and LOVE. Kat O’ Nine Tales. Calen Spindler’s post on dating over 30 and the follow-up to the wrongest story ever was hysterical (and yes, follow her link to read the wrongest story ever)!
  • Paige Kellerman always cracks me up but her eviction letter to her baby had me rolling on the floor. Note: Paige has since had the BABY! A gorgeous baby boy born September 4, 2012 weighing in at nine pounds and seven ounces. Wowzers!! Congrats Paige!!

Urban Word Wednesday: Bathtub Jesus

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Bathtub Jesus: Decorative lawn ornament, popular through much of New England, where an old cast-iron bathtub is buried standing up, halfway into the ground, and a statue of Jesus is placed inside. Frequently seen near or with a lawn ball. Associated with white trash.

Examples Of Use:

Yesterday, I talked about meeting my first ever, real life Bathtub Jesus on the weekend. Well, you had to know hubby and I would have some fun with that! On Sunday we golfed Pine Needles Golf and Country Club’s 18-hole River Course. This course ain’t for sissies. It’s a tough 5500-yard (women’s tee) course with lots of length, water, trees, and sand to test your skill. But I love it.

The first time I golfed it (3 years ago…my first year golfing), I scored a 270 (par for women is 73 but most people I golf with are around 110 to 120). I practically played the course twice. But you’ll be happy to know, I shaved a few strokes off my score since then. I’ve been averaging around 150.

Hubby and I enjoyed this conversation in the club house as we returned the key to our cart.

Hubby: I can’t believe you beat me…by 1 stroke…first time ever, eh?! You even pared a 500+ yard hole. A 120 is amazing! Great game…congrats honey!

Me: I owe it all to Bathtub Jesus.

Hubby: what does Bathtub Jesus have to do with anything?

Me: well, this morning when you thought I went to the bathroom, I actually walked down to the drug dealer’s Bathtub Jesus and had a little chat with the old fella…I asked him and his Dad to show me some golf luv!

Hubby: you know, I think their Bathtub Jesus is actually a Bathtub Mary?

Me: whoever it is…I think we need one! It’s obviously bringing the drug dealer some good luck and look how I golfed today?!?! We could put him or Mary near the cedar bush…it’d look fahhhbulous!

Hubby: God help me…

Me: that’s who I am trying to hook you up with…I am tellin’ ya!!!

Do you have any yard ornaments or decorations displayed? Seen any good ones lately? What [insert sport of choice here] God do you pray to? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

Urban Word Wednesday: Sexpiration Date

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Sexpiration Date: When a man or woman has reached the maximum amount of time he or she can go without sexual intercourse.

Example Of Use:

Hubby and I were at the movies on Friday night. We went and saw Expendables 2 (loved it). By the time we got to the theatre, it was nearly full. We were having our popcorn, waiting for the movie to start while enjoying our usual banter. Much to our neighbors delight.

Hubby: do you think this could be a real “date night” tonight?

Me: what do you mean?

Hubby: you know….dinner…a movie…home for a little quality nookie?

Me: you call eating at the mall food court dinner?

Hubby: ok…since I short-changed you on dinner, I’d be willing to opt for a quickie when we get home. A little wham bam!

Me: hmmm…you’ve got yourself a deal! What’s up with your need to confirm here and now?

Hubby: I’ve reached my sexpiration date.

Me: sexpiration date?

Hubby: you know….the max amount of time I can go without getting it on.

Me: what happens if you pass your sexpiration date? Do you go chunky and awful smelling like the milk?

*I thought the ladies in front of us were going to DIE”

Hubby: nice…of course not. But I do get kind of cranky.

Me: True enough. Not worth the risk. We’ll take care of that tonight!

What’s your sexpiration date? Is it the same or different from your partners? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

Urban Word Wednesday: Panty Anthem

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Let the panty party continue! After yesterday’s post with underwear a deux, today’s Urban Word keeps the things in full swing as we celebrate of national underwear day (NUD). After you leave here, make sure you keep rocking out with Jenny Hansen. She’s talking panty parades and UNDIE SHOOTERS (need I say more???). She’s also got the dirt on an undie pop-up party with FreshPair (the fahhhbulous peeps that started NUD) in NYC August 22-23, 2012 (never have I wished I was in NYC more).

So….lets get down to urban word business!

Panty Anthem: a song that makes people want to take their panties off.

Examples Of Use:

Hubby and I were at the grocery store last night picking up a few things for the week. We were in the vegetable aisle checking out the lettuce when we had the following conversation.

Me: did you see mine and Jenny’s blog posts today? We are doing a belated celebration of national underwear day which was on August 5.

Hubby: I can’t believe you two missed THAT. But yeah, I saw the vibrating panties. I am getting you a pair for Christmas and we are so doing some kind of James Bond type vlog with them.

Me: nice. That sounds like super duper fun! Maybe I could wear them to the gym and finally have an assisted coregasm. What did you think of the fundies? Would you try a pair with me?

Hubby: I just broke 3 bills this week sweetheart. If you and I tried to slip into a pair of those we’d look like a monkey trying to fawk a football.

*I feigned disappointment – we definitely had people’s attention then*

Me: You know what they say, trying is half the fun. Wait a minute…

*I perk my head up towards the ceiling to hear the radio better*

Me: OMG I LOVE this song! It’s totally MY panty anthem?

Hubby: a panty anthem?

Me: you know…it’s so good it’s making me want to take my panties off!

*Hubby drops the lettuce and grabs my hand*

Hubby: come on, we can find the station in the car!

This is my panty anthem:

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What’s yours? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

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