A girl needs her nest

Last week Jenny took over my blog and we all had a blast tearing it up in the comments section. If you haven’t stopped by for a read yet, I highly recommend it. But set your drink down first. It’s a definite snorter.

In part of the comments, Amy started a discussion about vajazzling (y’all know I am a huge fan…I’ll BeDazzle anything). Jenny did not like the idea of putting glue on her hooha and assumed she’d have to get a Brazilian (you know…wax the vajayjay bare…) to vajazzle. I assured her that a) with a little soak in the tub, those little gems would fall right off and b) in my humble opinion, there’s no need of a Brazilian to vajazzle (perhaps just a little tidy and trim before you dress up the kitty cat). Vajazzling isn’t just for bald girls.

Then Kathy drops a bombshell that had howling in laughter!

“Brazilian – those look like naked armadillos. A girl needs her nest.”

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR. This is going to be my new life motto.

I do have a couple of gal pals who swear by and love Brazilians. They do them for a number of reasons. One finds that the lack of hair has reduced her yeast infections. Another just loves the look and feel. Both swear that once you get used to it, it doesn’t hurt. Another has gone so far as to have electrolysis to make her bald muff permanent.

And I say “you go girls!” Ya gotta do what feels right.

But for me, Kathy’s totally got my vote; a girl needs her nest. I think it’d feel weird to look down and see…no hair?! Mind you, I am all about keeping kitty clipped and snipped; all the better for vajazzling, right?! Just like a girl needs her nest…a girl needs a little glitter.

Now, if only someone had the solution to ingrown hairs, I’d be set.

What’s your vote?

Have you tried a Brazilian? Was it as painful as it sounds? What would ever prompt you to try one? Any secret weapons against the bikini line ingrown hairs? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

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Cell phone carryitis; yet again another female issue

Recently, I got a tweet from Julie Glover whose been suffering with cell phone carryitis. I know we can all relate. I mean, as women, where do you put the damn thing??? Our wardrobe isn’t always suited for the waist clip. Nothing takes away from the punch of a power suit more than a bulge at my jacket. Do you wear it under or snagged sort of over? And I feel for Julie when she talks about it yanking down her yoga pants. Been there, done that. Like Julie, I don’t always wear a bra to stuff it into (and who wants cell phone shaped boobs anyway??!?!).

So I went on the hunt for some options for Julie (who has a HTC smart phone) that I know all the ladies will love and adore (and hey…maybe some gents as well). The great thing, most of these come in a variety of shapes and sizes for different cell phone types. Let’s get started.

HOLY cow! Check out Story Leather. These folks custom make leatherware for your PHONES (and tablet or eReader….)! Seriously?!?! Yes! You can choose from a variety of options, every color known to man (lots of PINK to choose from), custom interior, and different types of closures (so you can bling it up baby!) You can also have them personalized and with your own logo!! Think…MONOGRAM!

Story Leather – Diamond (http://www.storyleather.com)

The options are endless! They run between $60 and $130 bucks!

My fav!!! Meet the Diamond (the name alone…hello?!?!) for $129.99. Squeee! Isn’t it adorable with its gorgeous blinged up strap for the fashionista in all of us? It’s gorgeous, classy and trendy;  it’s a mini purse for your phone.

Story Leather – Hot Pink (http://www.storyleather.com)

Or wait…giving up on customization, I could opt for the universal HOT PINK diamond puff leather case. Ohhhhh the choices…the options…

Wait. I am not shopping for me. Julie. Yes. Right. Sorry about that Julie, getting back to you.

Or perhaps you were looking for something wee bit more casual and hands free? How about the Cartera which comes in at a more modest $89.99 but still offers you all the customization so you can tailor it to your phone and your taste?

Story Leather – Cartera (http://www.storyleather.com)

What I like about the Cartera is not only is it a clutch (so it carries on your wrist easily…leaving you hands free), you don’t have to yank the phone out to use it. Flip it open and voila, text, talk, surf. Talk about convenient! Not to mention, you can put OTHER stuff in it as well so it’s super multipurpose (and y’all know I love multipurpose)!

I’m in love.

Want. One. Now.

LODIS – Crossbody (http://www.lodis.com/)

Another fabulous designer of smartphone cases that I came across is LODIS. Yummmmy! They have a variety of wristlet options (I mean, did you see the Austin one??? Doesn’t that just scream Natalie?!?! Oops…did it again…sorry Julie). I was thinking you might want to consider the tab chick olive crossbody.

It wears more like a traditional purse but substantially smaller and well suited for your phone. Yes, I agree, at $128 it’s pretty pricey but…it’s made of soft, smooth leather with shiny nickel hardware.

All For Color – Crossbody (http://www.allforcolor.com)

Or go ULTRA chic and cool with some less expensive crossbody versions ($18) by All For Color. They also have a ton of inexpensive smartphone wristlets to choose from.

But wait – let’s say you are looking for something a little less flashy? Something to wear around the house? Maybe something more casual and sporty? Why not try an armband? Something like the Arkon Universal Armband for large smartphones?

Arkon Armband (http://www.walmart.com)

I found this one on Walmart’s site. It fastens securely to your arm, great for a workout, run, or even if you are just zooming around the house or getting groceries.

It’ll go great with yoga pants and will make you look super sporty and athletic to boot (even if you aren’t). It’s lightweight and totally adjustable for your comfort. It also has a little spot for your earphones and a multi-touch display which also provides protection from fingerprints, dust and dirt.

Not to mention, a hidden key pocket!!! Yes…a secret compartment!!! Squee!! Strap this bad boy to your ankle and watch OUT James Bond! You are a serious writer packing some heat!

I can see it now….

You’re at the grocery store with your phone fastened securely to your ankle.

It vibrates (because all covert writers/spies have their phones on vibrate).

You look around. Is the enemy watching? This could be a potential agent calling? Maybe a new small press? You don’t want to give the edge to a follow grocery shopping writer…you look left…right…

Nope…coast is clear.

You prop that foot up on the produce fridge unit; give the lettuce guy a wink with a devilish grin.

He knows your hot…and important…and super secretive and sexy!

Flex the buttocks…why? Cause you can damn it!

You’ve got that twinkle in your eye.

You casually lift up the pant leg and…answer!

Covert phone tactics!

I mean…you are a writer…you gotta live this shit!

Seriously…for $13 bucks, you can’t go wrong! I mean…how much fun would that be?!?!

What kind of case do you use for your cell phone? Any great tips and tricks for Julie? Come on…share the wealth…

It’s Twisted Tuesday and that means it’s time to enjoy a smile, giggle or laugh…here’s hoping I’ve provided it in spades…enjoy!

More blog deliciousness here:

Living with an angry bird

I’ve been reading the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy for the last couple of weeks. For those of you who have been living under a rock, it’s the new blockbuster mega-hit in erotic romance to hit the streets. Women (and I bet some men) have been lapping it up by the millions.

I’m about half way through the second book and I’ve been enjoying it. I’ve read a number of blog posts where people have complained heavily about the quality of the writing. It’s really less of an issue for me. I am absolutely the type of reader to just lose myself in the story. Unless it’s serious continuous spelling or punctuation issues, I can overlook just about anything for the sake of great characters and a capturing plot. Especially for stories like this that are told in the 1st person. The writing style gives me a sense of the character. I felt the same way about Twilight. The writing quality lent itself to the character and thereby the overall story for me.

So….I’m loving it.

But. I’ve got one huge problem with it.

WHAT woman has THAT much sex and doesn’t get a UTI (urinary tract infection/bladder infection)?

I mean…come on people?!?!? It’s just blowing the whole believability of the book out of the water for me.

Ok, I admit, it’s quite likely a sensitive subject for me right now. I’m sitting reading this deliciously sexual book and thinking about all the wonderful things I’d like to do with hubby while there sits an angry bird screaming its freaking head off at me. I read about this woman having fabulous sex at least twice a day thinking “hey…I could do that…” and I swear at the first thought flames literally shoot out of my hooha.

It’s so bad; I’ve been tempted to shave “BURNING” in my pubic hair as a warning to hubby.

Yes….I am currently dealing with yet again, another bladder infection.

It’s like my 10th in the last year or so. I try antibiotics. I try cranberry. I drink tons of water. I pee after doing the deed. I wipe front to back. I’ve even given up my BATHS (GASP?!?!?)! It doesn’t seem to matter. I take one itty, bitty peak at hubby’s bad boy and BAM…bladder infection.

What’s a girl to do?

I read these books, watch movies or TV and see all these women having all this fabulous sex all the time and it makes me feel….less. I’m 37 years old, in the prime of my life and I want to be all that I can be in the boudoir. I want to shout orgasms from the roof top. I want to dance naked in the rain. I want to scream out in lust! I want to unleash my sexual Goddess divine. Because I know, deep down, buried under the recurring bladder infection, chronic constipation, and fatigue from a sometimes stressful job, she’s in there. Screaming and begging to come out and play.

And alas….the angry vagina burns on.

But have no fear….We continue to fight the good fight. I’m off to make yet again another doctor’s appointment and this time I’ll be asking to see a specialist. Seriously. I’ve had enough. I need to bitch slap that angry bird into tomorrow.

My inner Goddess divine says so!

Look out Fifty (and hubby)…when I get this old girl all fixed up, I plan on putting you to shame!

How do you unleash your inner sex Goddess divine? How do you  juggle life…and maintain a healthy sex life with your partner? How do you come to terms with the portrayal of women and sex in the media with real life? Any bladder infection tips or tricks? Come on…share the wealth….

More blog deliciousness here:

Rocking the rag with reusable cups

Disclaimer: To my male readers, I apologize but this post isn’t for you. Dang. Although you might want to pass it along to your wife, sisters or female friends.

Ladies, are you sick of fearing “the string” peaking out when wearing swimwear when on your period? Or maybe you are fed up with avoiding swimwear all together? What about the clogged toilet scares or the dirty looks from the septic guy? Or how about the shame of shunning your thongs, g-strings and c-strings for famine undies during that time of the month? Or maybe you are like me and sick of the tactical tampon carrying techniques we have to employ? Most of the time, I feel like Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible sneaking to the bathroom with my arsenal of period protection gear?

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Well NO MORE!

Move over tampons, back off pads….HELLO DivaCup!

The DivaCup is a non-absorbent cup that you insert into your hooha during your menstrual cycle to collect the flow. It can be worn for up to 12 hours before emptying, washing and reinserting although for heavier flows, one may need to empty more often.

Shut UP!?!?!?! I know!!

But…how do I get it in there…and then BACK OUT?!?!?!

According to the DivaCup website, to insert you simply fold it in half twice and with your vajayjay relaxed (cause mine is always super mellow and relaxed when inserting an object), you push the curved edge into the opening. It has little holes around the top edge to aid in suction. Hmmmm….

To remove, you pull gently on the stem until you reach the base of the cup at which point you pinch to release the seal and continue to pull down. They claim the “contents” shouldn’t spill and you simply pour them into the toilet, wash, and reinsert. You are good to go for another 12 hours.

Now…I gotta tell you. I wasn’t really sold on the product the first time I read about it. Ok, it’s cool. I knew I’d definitely blog about it but BUY it and TRY it? Hmmmm…not so sure…

That was until I met someone, in person, who uses it and LOVES it! We were at a girls-only party a few weeks ago and after much wine, the topic of Aunt Flo came up (do not ask me how…) This friend of mine SWEARS by the DivaCup and said she’s never going back to tampons or pads ever again. She said it’s soft and smooth and when inserted properly does not leak. And she said it’s COMFY! MORE comfortable than a tampon. So comfortable, she said she forgets it’s there entirely.

Best yet, she said you’d be surprised how “easy in and easy out” the thing is. After the first time or two, when you get more used to it, she said it takes all but 2 seconds to pop it in. And it’s worn low in the vagina so it’s not difficult to “find”. Removal was a bit trickier but she said that once you get the hang of it, it’s a snap. Her advice; be sure to use the middle finger and DON’T PANIC.

DivaCup makers say it can be worn during all activities like traveling, running, biking, camping, swimming, diving, yoga, extreme sports and more. About the only sport you can’t do when wearing the DivaCup is have sex.

This would be great for me considering our high propensity to engage in redneck activities that usually involve a lot of banging, bumping, and bouncing. I don’t know how many times after hitting a wallop of a washout in the Rhino that I’ve said to hubby “I feel like my tampon just catapulted up my vag and into my throat…” NOT FUN!

Not to mention the “Green” factor here, which is a total double whammy. Whammy #1) think about the billions of tampons and pads that are dumped into our environment each year. Gross. Whammy #2) think of the green staying in my POCKET not having to buy an arsenal of feminine products each month!

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The DivaCup gets great product reviews all over YouTube. I found quite an extensive one:

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Check out the DivaCup’s YouTube channel for more videos.

And this revolutionary period product ain’t new ladies. Can you believe the menstrual cup has been around since the 1930’s?

Back in the day, they were made from rubber latex and millions were sold. However, over the years companies shut down and the cups got hard to find. A mother in search of the product actually ended up reintroducing the menstrual cup back to the world about 15 years ago. And in 2003, her and her daughter revamped the rubber/latex version to the current DivaCup, which is made from soft, top-quality silicone. It’s patent-pending and ISO certified.

Why am I only hearing about this fabulousness now?!?! I’m going to have to go have a chat with my mother.

Have you heard of and/or tried the DivaCup or a menstrual cup? Does it work? Good or bad? Would you try one? Come on ladies…share the wealth…

It’s Twisted Tuesday and that means it’s time to enjoy a smile, giggle or laugh…here’s hoping I’ve provided it in spades…enjoy!

More blog deliciousness here:

The truth about boys – a guest post by Jessica O’Neal

I am so excited to welcome Jessica O’Neal to my blog digs while I am on vacation. Jessica’s blog ROCKS with her vlogs (yes…she does VLOGS….how uberlicious is that…) and her bow and arrow (yes…she has a BOW and arrows and she knows how to use them)! I know y’all will just adore her. Thanks so much for swinging by and hanging out here Jessica – I hope you enjoy yourself! Take it away…

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Jessica O'Neal

Hey y’all! I am super excited to be hanging out here at Natalie’s fahhhbulous blog, I even painted my toenails pink for the occasion (you can’t see them, but I promise they are pink). I was beyond honored when she asked me to come up with something for you guys, and then I instantly got nervous. Let’s face it, Natalie is a hilarious act to follow. The antics that she and the hubby get up to always make for some entertaining reading and, try as I might, I couldn’t think of a story of my own that even came close to measuring up to one of theirs. In fact, for the majority of my life I was pretty sheltered and most, well all, of their stories would have been quite shocking to my innocent little self. This got me thinking. When did that change?

Growing up, it was just me, my mom, and my sister from a fairly young age. I went to an arts school for middle school and high school, so the girl to guy ratio was about 4:1 and the guys that were there made sure to show their well-behaved, tame sides around me. The only other boys I was around were from church youth group, so they were always on relatively good behavior, too. All of this meant that when I started dating my future husband, who also happened to be the first guy I ever dated, I was incredibly naïve as to the world of boys. Sure I had heard rumors of their crude natures, but based on all that I had ever witnessed, I believed those tales to be vastly exaggerated. Ha! Oh, how so very wrong I was.

I’m not really sure what changed when I started dating my husband. Maybe it was because I was off the market, so there was no pressure to impress me in the hopes of winning my heart, but whatever the reason, I began to be treated as one of the guys. My husband’s friends, and there were a lot of them, welcomed me into the inner sanctum of The World of Male and, oh my goodness, it was quite the culture shock. Every construct I had ever built up in my head about boys was shattered as I learned that all the jokes I believed to be just that, jokes, were indeed true.

They really do behave like they are still children with one another. This may not seem like much, but it was shocking to me. My husband and his friends were all in their early to mid 20s, yet they still tormented each other like they were little boys. There were a select few that tended to be picked on the most, and the rest would spend hours coming up with practical jokes to play on them or ways in which they could embarrass them, such as throwing things on them while they were taking a shower or getting on an IM chat with their girlfriends and pretending to be them.

Then they also did things that were just dumb. I remember one time we went to a party where all the guys thought it was hilarious to throw mouse traps at each other. Another time they decided to play “shopping cart chicken,” which involved two guys sitting in two shopping carts being pushed towards each other at full speed. And don’t get me started on holidays that involve fireworks – let’s just say that my fear of being burned by fireworks no longer seems irrational.

They really do like to be naked, or close to it, as often as possible. I had always heard the boys in youth group joke about “naked time,” but again I thought that it really was a joke. I was wrong. Generally speaking, boys have no problem getting naked and they think it is funny. I went from never having seen a naked male to seeing way more than I ever wanted to. Thankfully, whenever they got naked it was to be funny, so there was usually something hiding the *goods*, such as a basketball. One of our good friends was particularly fond of wearing plastic bags. The memory that always sticks out in my mind is the time we were watching TV and he suddenly came out in nothing but cowboy boots, a pink tie, and a strategically placed Target bag. Sometimes there would be a short supply of cover-up objects, but that didn’t stop them when the naked mood struck. Nope, on these occasions they opted to preserve their modesty with the good ole tuck, or as they called it, the “man-gina” (there’s an urban word for you, Natalie!).

They really do think about sex. All the time. This one, I think, surprised me the most. Before my husband’s friends, boys did not really talk about sex around me, so I never believed the idea that boys thought about sex every 3 seconds. Well, I can now tell you with confidence, that saying is true. Oh. My. Goodness. I have heard more stories, most of which are even too dirty for this blog, than I ever cared to know (thankfully none of which involved my husband). I don’t know if it was just because most of my husband’s friends were in bands and had a ton of tour experiences to talk about (“tour goggles” are a real thing too, by the way, as the nicknames “pig-frog” and “man-face,” the nicknames given to two girls one guy fooled around with on tour, can attest) or if it is this way with all guys, but it is seriously out of control how much they think about women and sex. I am pretty sure the entire first year of my relationship with my husband was spent with me gaping at the things that came out of his friends mouths. It was definitely an educational time period for my innocent little mind.

Going from a world comprised almost exclusively of women to one almost exclusively of men was the biggest culture shock I have yet to face. Once I got over the shock, however, I was able to develop an appreciation for this world that had been kept secret from me for so long. As dumb and gross as they can be, those boys always make me laugh.

What about the rest of you? Did any of you experience a culture shock when you learned the truth about boys? And what about you men out there? Were there things that shocked you when you learned the truth about women? Go ahead and dish in the comments.

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Squeeeee…man-gina!! I am TOTALLY going to do a post on that Jessica – love it! Thanks again for swinging by and sharing your story with us. I can only imagine what a culture shock you’ve gone through but it also sounds like you’ve had a ton of laughs and have adjusted beautifully!

More blog deliciousness here:

Hubby’s Corner: Every superhero needs a villain

Brent Butt

Like many other couples in the world, we spent the weekend hanging out, relaxing, running errands, hitting the mall and getting groceries – preparing for the upcoming week. On Saturday we were out and about and I saw a poster that indicated the Canadian comedian Brent Butt was coming to town and it brought me back a previous Hubby’s Corner post where I hinted at my camp nemesis Brent!

Let me take a moment to give you a head’s up on Brent. Brent has a camp just two down from us. He is a mountain man, a man who could live off the land and thrive. He spends almost every weekend of the year at the camp where he eats wild game, bark, berries and washes it down with muddy puddle water. He shaves with a rusty knife. He fishes. He hunts. He works around his camp and gets up before dawn to gather firewood. He’s a man’s man. He’s handy. He’s resourceful. He’s knowledgeable. He’s every man’s worst nightmare!!

Natalie's dream - to meet Mike Holmes

At this point I’d like to take a small tangent in my story to tell you about one of Natalie’s great loves (other than me). She loves and I mean LOVES Mike Holmes, HGTV, TLC, and anything to do with MIKE HOLMES. Common phrases around our house are ‘That’s not up to code’; ‘Do it right the first time’; and ‘That’s not how Mike Holmes would do that.’

So it should not be any surprise that during our first camp project, when Brent stopped in to give his two cents worth, that he quickly became Natalie’s Mike Holmes.

Red Green

It was like Brent and I drank a magic elixir and Brent became GOD and I became Red Green! Canada’s Worst Handyman and a DIY nightmare!

I might as well dawned a cap, suspenders and a t-shirt with the phrase “If the women can’t find you handsome they should at least find you handy!” on the front.

From that point on, every camp emergency, project snag, and task that required some thought and planning was quickly followed by my ever so helpful wife’s inquiring and every man’s spine shivering question “Do you want me to go get Brent?” The phrase holds the same full body pain as the phrase “Do you think we should stop and ask for directions?

And in the spirit of Brent Butt, I have ever so cunningly turned Camp Brent into our very own inside joke comedy routine. Whenever we run into a decision or crossroad in our lives, I ever so seriously turn to my loving wife (who’s torn in a world of confusion and endless options) and I ask “maybe we should call Brent on this one!?

Who’s your Brent?

Prize Alert:
Last Monday I did an author’s spotlight featuring the amazing Virginia Ripple and we did a fahhhbulous book giveaway. Here are the winners:

Woot woot – congratulations to both of you. I’ll fire y’all a tweet to put you in touch with Virginia!

Magazines subscriptions support MADD Canada

When MADD Canada representatives visited our home recently (stay tuned for an ultra cool post with more details to come) I found out that the organization has a magazine fundraising store. You can order or renew your magazine subscriptions totally online. The win-win kicker….you get to save 85% off newsstand prices (squeeee) AND 37% of your purchase goes directly to MADD Canada. Shut the front door, I know, eh?!?!?!

With over 600 magazine titles, including 60 French magazines, I have no doubt you can find your faves there.  I mean…if you are going to order them anyway, why not save money and support a great organization to boot?!?!?

Have you participated in fundraising magazine subscriptions before? What is your experience? Is it something you’d consider doing?

Two years ago, my beautiful mother-in-law’s life was cut tragically short by an impaired driver. In honor of Donna Jean Kennie, please don’t drink and drive. Impaired driving is 100% preventable. Think about it.

Support MADD Canada and follow them on Facebook, Twitter (@maddcanada), YouTube and on the Web.

P.S. In case you missed Monday’s post where I spotlight author Elena Aitken, you should definitely check it out. There’s a great giveaway and it ends Saturday so get reading and commenting!!!

Normally on Friday I share links to great posts about social media stuff and I do have a few for you but first, I want to bring your attention to two posts that truly knocked my socks off and I encourage all women to read and embrace:

  • August McLaughlin has organized THE MOST amazing blog event ever: Beauty of a Woman BlogFest. You must check it out and visit the incredible line-up of fahhhbulous blog posts women from all over have put together about their take on beauty. Each post will leave you breathless and in awe of your own beauty!
  • Marcia Richards’ post and video with Dr. Lissa Rankin was full of “aha” moments for me. Especially when I realize that I…am…a Cosmic Tit!

And for some social media goodness:

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