The latest in snowball fighting gear

You’ve heard me talk about our New Brunswick winter; tons of snow and cold beyond your wildest imagination. Lord, last week as part of the weather reports we were advised to keep our dogs and cats indoors. That’s cold!

So how do we combat the winter blues with all this cold and white stuff? Well, some people downhill ski. Some go show shoeing. There’s always ice skating. Or…one of my personal and all time favs, snowball fights!

Snowball fights are like dodgeball played outside with snowballs. And we take our snowball fights pretty seriously. We build massive snow forts to hide behind as we plan our snow attacks with tactical military precision. It’s a hoot!

Well, this year I found the latest and greatest in snowball fighting weaponry that’s going to ensure my team’s success on the winter field.  First, meet the snowball slingshot!

This bad boy will take my snowball throws to a completely new level. It’ll hurl my white fluffy balls of pain an amazing 60 feet giving me a real edge against the competition! All I do is place a softball-sized snowbullet into the slingshot’s muzzle, draw the handle back and release it, which then launches the snowball. With technology like this, I am guaranteed many more withdrawals and surrenders.

And get this, it will also allow me to engage in indirect fire opportunities, such as shooting over the crest of a hill. They won’t even SEE me coming! How insane is that!?!?!

But wait. This only allows me to load one snowball at a time. What if I am in the midst of an onslaught attack from the enemy and I need more fire power?!?! What if I have to go on foot and need to be prepared for MUCH more fire power.

That’s when I break out the big guns! Meet, the snowball launcher!

Grrrowwwwllll!!! This beast makes and blasts softball-sized snowballs up to 50 feet AND allows for a rapid, long-range assault. I just load my snowballs in the forming chamber, close the lid and now I’m locked and loaded packing 3 snowballs of destruction. 

Imagine hubby and I armed and dangerous with this kind of snow weaponry. Him with the slingshot, me with the launcher. With such distance potential, we’ll have the opportunity to dive bomb the neighbors with a snow fiesta while hiding neatly away in bushes or behind lamp poles. They’ll have no idea what or who hit them…eeekee…hubby and I will rule our snow laden neighborhood!

For only $39.95 US plus shipping, you can order your snowball slingshot here and for 29.95 US plus shipping, you can order your snowball launcher here. Now you can join me in becoming king of the hill.

And of course, the both products comes with the Hammacher Schlemmer Lifetime Guarantee so if it sucks, for any reason, we can return it for exchange, credit, or refund. Eeekeeee…love that!

Any snowball fight stories to share with us? What’s your technique? What do you do to make an unfavorable season pass by faster?

It’s Twisted Tuesday and that means it’s time to enjoy a smile, giggle or laugh…here’s hoping I’ve provided it in spades…enjoy!

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Death by swimming

Photo: SXC

Hubby and I live in New Brunswick, Canada and therefore, we are tortured blessed to have the opportunity to experience the glory of winter. White fluffy snow shimmers like diamonds for 4 or 5 months a year. Hubby and I build snowmen, make snow angels and hold hands frolicking and skipping through it every day (not)!

Snowstorms dump anywhere from 10 to 15 centimeters of snow (which is a considered a light sprinkling, I might add) every week for about 20 weeks coupled with a dozen or more “real” snowstorms of 30+ centimeters. And it’s not like it melts away the next day, no siree. The white stuff just adds up and adds up until your driveway is a tiny one-lane roadway that your vehicle hardly gets through with 12 foot mountains of the white shit on either side. It’s sick!

Honestly, it starts snowing sometime in November/December and it doesn’t stop until late March (we’ve actually been known to get 30+ snowstorms in April…seriously…no joke). And if that wasn’t enough, throughout the 20-week snowstorm marathon we will endure -20 to -30 degree Celsius temperatures (and don’t forget it’ll actually feel like -40 to -50 with the freaking wind chill…gotta love wind chill) and reduced sunlight (it’s dark when you get up and leave for work and dark by the time you get home). No wonder we turn into real grump bags.

Now, don’t get me wrong; hubby and I work hard to make the best of it. We enjoy downhill skiing, cross-country skiing, snow shoeing etc. But honestly, there’s only so much freezing your ass off trudging through the snow that you can take before you get a hate-on for all things winter.

In comes the annual trip south; our winter coping mechanism.

Hubby and I got married April 2010 in the Dominican Republic and we’ve been addicts ever since. Our annual 2-week trip south is our very own “you don’t really notice winter” kind of drug. It gives us hope; something to look forward to as we endure yet again, another snowstorm. We even say to each other “oh well…we can take this 40-50 centimeter storm, it’s only 70 more sleeps till we are basking in the sun on a white sandy beach!” Voila. It’s like winter beer goggles!

The only bad thing (and I say bad but it’s probably a pretty good thing) is that the trip south has made us very aware of our…well…pudge factor. A summer and fall at the camp has equated to about 20 pounds of fun on my thighs and ass and on hubby’s tummy.

So this year, in preparation for “the” trip (and in the name of fitting into our summer clothes and the bikinis – my bikinis, not hubby’s), hubby signed us up for an 8-week fitness swimming class. The class description said it was for anyone wanting “to increase their swimming fitness.”

Perfect! When south, we do lots of swimming so not only will this help with fitness and weight loss, it’ll help us increase our stamina for snorkeling – fahhbulous, right?!?!

Our first indication should have been when hubby signed us up for the class. He stepped up to the cash and told the lady what he was there to register for.

 “Wonderful, are you and your wife training for a triathlon?” she asked.

Ummmmm…hubby (at 6’3” and 280 pounds) is no tiny man and he carries his weight primarily in the belly region.

Hubby looked at her, grinned, and slowly opened his jacket.

“Do I look like I am training for a triathlon?” he replied.

The cashier giggled.

“What am I getting us into?” hubby asked.

“Oh no no no…you guys will be fine! Absolutely! No worries.”

Yikes. But how hard could it be?

It’s water; beautiful and silky, in a gorgeous pool making everything blue and luxurious. It draws me in. I have visions of slicing through the water with ease. My swim strokes graceful and fluid. People commenting on what a natural I am; dolphin-like with speed and agility.

Ummmmmmm…not so much!

After three weeks, I am now convinced that the devil is reincarnated in this swimming pool! He likes to reach up and torture me with continuous toe, feet, and calf cramps not to mention the awkward flailing and near drownings. Every muscle in my body screams bloody murder. I swear as we drive up to the pool, a revolution starts taking place on the inside and body parts refuse to move. It’s death by swimming.

Seriously. The shit we do to get/stay in shape! I swear, if I manage to achieve any kind of fitness level and/or weight loss, I am NOT letting myself get so far gone again because this is painful!!!

How do you handle getting back into shape? What do you do to help get you through tough weather seasons?

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