Urban Word Wednesday: Bubblytude

December 19, 2012 25 Comments

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Bubblytude (Noun) a state of being lively, animated, excited or full of high spirits.

Bubblytude

Examples Of Use:

Y’all have seen hubby’s footage of my Canadian Tire dancing, right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well the antics continued last night. Hubby and I hit Costco and Sobeys last night to pick up some foodies for over the holiday season (cause y’all know what happens when I bake). For me, there is nothing funner than shopping for yummy treats and tasties for the holiday season. It puts me in an over-the-top kind of mood.

Hubby and I enjoyed this convo while I was moon walking and doing the running-man up the aisles. I totally made a spectacle of myself…and loved every minute!

Hubby: you got the best shopping dance moves…should I take another video for your fans?

Me: I think one video of me dancing is quite enough for the fans.

Hubby: shopping certainly agrees with you.

Me: something about it just puts me in a bubblytude kind of mood.

Hubby: there’s nothing sexier than you with a bubblytude!

Me: don’t I know it…you know what else puts me in a bubblytude?

Hubby: what??? And I’ll be sure to get more of it.

Me: Jenny Hansen…she’ll be guest posting tomorrow on something quite naughty…something too naughty for More Cowbell (as if such a thing existed)…squeeeeeeee

Hubby: oh God….I better brace myself….

Me: if I know Jenny…it’ll have us in fits of giggles…I can’t wait! I’ll be dishing some dating dirt on her blog.

Hubby: you two are incorrigible…I can’t wait!

What gets you in a bubblytude? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

For the month of November and December, I am proud to be taking part in the Holiday Yum Blog Hop where a group of uber bloggers will regale you with recipes and funny cooking stories.

This week’s highlights:

Already Posted:

Stay tuned for:

  • December 23: Jess Witkins will entice us with either some comfort food or appetizer
  • December 26: Kathy Owen will come through with beef rib-eye roast with currant jelly brown gravy
  • December 28:  I will give you some fabulous Mocktail options for your New Year’s Eve parties

Be sure to check out our ever uberlicious host, Kathy Owen’s Holiday Yum page and leave her some blog hop luv!

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Urban Word Wednesday: Shit or get off the pot

December 12, 2012 16 Comments

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Shit or get off the pot: Hurry up and make a decision. Usually used when someone is being really indecisive or is taking way to long to do something. Commonly refers to a decision where a commitment is involved.

Examples Of Use:

Hubby and I hit Sears this week to try to find him new winter boots and enjoyed some Urban Word fun with the two sales ladies who were helping us. At this point we had 4 pairs of boots surrounding us.

Hubby: I like these ones and they fit but they feel a little tight on the sides of my feet.

Me: do you want to see if they have them in a wide option?

Hubby: I don’t think I have wide feet though….

Me: well…if they feel tight on the sides, it means they aren’t wide enough…maybe the wide version would be more comfortable?

Hubby: yeah but these ones *grabs boots number 2* fit comfortably and aren’t wide.

Me: well you know…different boots fit differently. If those are more comfortable, why not get those?

Hubby: but I like these ones *looking at boots he’s wearing* better for style.

Me: then get those…maybe they’ll stretch….

Hubby: shit…I don’t know…these ones *picks up boots #3* are nice too…what do you think?

Me: I think you need to shit or get off the pot…we are all turning to stone waiting for you to decide…

Hubby: ok honey darlin’…how many times have I gone shopping with you and watched you try on forty-five outfits humming and hawing over which ones to get…you need to sit down and be supportive…it’s my turn wife!

Me: touché my love…you have a point…I’ll shut up. Let’s shop!

Ever had to tell someone to shit or get off the pot? How do you handle indecisive shoppers? Are you an indecisive shopper? Got any fabulous shopping horror stories? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

For the month of November and December, I am proud to be taking part in the Holiday Yum Blog Hop where a group of uber bloggers will regale you with recipes and funny cooking stories.

This week’s highlights:

  • December 10: Kathy Owen’s Butter Spritz Cookies (OMG I want some…especially those Hershey filled ones)
  • December 14: Ellen M. Gregg’s Old-fashioned Buttermilk Sugar Cookies (with Christmas punch)

Already Posted:

Stay tuned for:

  • December 17: I am back with a recipe for Cheesecake that is so simple but even I messed it up once
  • December 19: Jenny Hansen’s Holly Candy
  • December 23: Jess Witkins will entice us with either some comfort food or appetizer
  • December 26: Kathy Owen will come through with beef rib-eye roast with currant jelly brown gravy
  • December 28:  I will give you some fabulous Mocktail options for your New Year’s Eve parties

Be sure to check out our ever uberlicious host, Kathy Owen’s Holiday Yum page and leave her some blog hop luv!

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Urban Word Wednesday: Walk Blocker

November 28, 2012 40 Comments

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME, hubby…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Walk Blocker: A person that suddenly stops when they are walking right in front of another.

Examples Of Use:

Although it wasn’t technically Black Friday in Canada, a lot of the stores in the mall had what I like to call fake Black Friday sales all weekend long. I call them fake because they aren’t really that fantastic a sale (saving $25 is not worth lining up for 3 hours people!!!) but they seem to elicit a shopping frenzy anyway.

Normally we’d avoid the mall this weekend but hubby signed up to do racquetball and he needed some new shorts and sneakers so it was off to the mall in the midst of the fake Black Friday insanity. You should know, hubby and I can get a little tense in large crowds…especially large crowds of morons. We were at the local sports store paying for our purchase when we enjoyed this convo.

Hubby: WTF…if one more person walk blocks me I am going to lose my shit!

Me: what is it with walk blockers anyway…like get out of the road if you need to stop for something.

Hubby: I think it’s the new digital age…people gotta stop where ever they are to see what’s on the phone.

Me: I agree…but what is it with people who just stop and conglomerate in the middle of an aisle to talk for an hour walk blocking the whole area?!?! I don’t get it…like step out of the aisle and enjoy your convo. I near rolled up on over some tweens back there who stopped to talk to their gal pals dead center of the aisle. I was going a good clip and nearly didn’t get stopped?! Like…WTF??? Oblivious!

Hubby: I am going to get a cart and get my Christmas plow on. Gonna just drive over those walk blockers. Maybe I should get sign for my cart that says “comin’ thru bitches!”

Me: and a horn…and lights…and definitely a t-shirt!!!! 

What is it with walk blockers? Ever come across them? How do you handle it? Ever been one??? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

For the month of November and December, I am proud to be taking part in the Holiday Yum Blog Hop where a group of uber bloggers will regale you with recipes and funny cooking stories.

This week’s highlights:

Already Posted:

Stay tuned for:

  • December 2: Estee Lavitt’s Latkes
  • December 5: Yours truly with French Lace Cookies
  • December 10: Kathy Owen’s Butter Spritz Cookies
  • December 14: Ellen M. Gregg’s Old-fashioned Buttermilk Sugar Cookies (with Christmas punch)
  • December 17: I am back with a recipe for Cheesecake that is so simple but even I messed it up once
  • December 19: Jenny Hansen’s Holly Candy
  • December 23: Jess Witkins will entice us with either some comfort food or appetizer
  • December 26: Kathy Owen will come through with beef rib-eye roast with currant jelly brown gravy
  • December 28:  I will give you some fabulous Mocktail options for your New Year’s Eve parties

Be sure to check out our ever uberlicious host, Kathy Owen’s Holiday Yum page and leave her some blog hop luv!

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Urban Word Wednesday: Typerventilating

November 21, 2012 32 Comments

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Typerventilating: sending messages through instant messaging in rapidly sequential intervals.

Examples Of Use:

If y’all follow me on Facebook (and if you don’t yet…wasssup???) you know hubby and I had a little date night last Thursday night.

Well, to ensure we actually saw the movie and got good seats, we went to an older theatre about 30 minutes away and went an hour+ early. Yeah…we…along with about a hundred+ people…had some time to kill. I got jiggy with my Blackberry.

Hubby: who are you blackberrying with? You are binging and pinging like a rockstar.

Me: you know how it is…I posted the pic of the beautiful bauble you spoiled me with *pauses to admire the sparkle* and now the peeps want the deets???

Hubby: good lord…you are practically typerventilating…aren’t your fingers cramping?

Me: I have 6 conversations on the go at once…no time for cramping! 

Hubby: 6 conversations?!?! I have no idea how you keep it all straight. Only in my dreams could I type that fast…on a regular keyboard let alone my phone…

Me: what can I say…my fans need to know…and I can’t let a fan down…

Hubby: you are a true star….

Me: fabulous…then could you be a peach and run and get me some popcorn…I just got another text and need to give the deets…can’t let a fan down, now can I?!?! 

Hubby: I’d love to…typerventilate away…but when the movie starts and into the night know that your fans will need to wait cause you are mine!

Me: ohhhh…I love it when you get all BRUTE on me…hell yes!! One last message and I am yours…

Ever have some gossip so juicy that you start typerventilating as you relay it to a friend? Or maybe someone ticked you off so badly you just had to typerventilate the story to someone? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

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Urban Word Wednesday: Kennie

November 14, 2012 40 Comments

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME (and hubby)…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Kennie: the name for the inner ring of muscles surrounding the anus.

Examples Of Use:

Now I know you are all wondering how in God’s name this term, in this context, happened to come up between me and hubby. Buckle up peeps. It’s hubby’s last name. We were at breakfast on the weekend when we enjoyed this conversation…

Me: alright Kennie…you ready to go?

Hubby: did I mention I looked up what Kennie means in the Urban Dictionary.

Me: you searched your last name???

Hubby: I was curious, what can I say? And I was not happy with what I found.

Me: do tell!  

Hubby: Kennie is the inner ring of muscles in the anus!

Me: seriously?!?! OMG that’s perfect. *ROFL*

Hubby: I didn’t find it very funny!

Me *between giggles*: really??? Because I find it kind of suiting…you can be quite the ass…and it turns out you technically are one. How perfect!

*thought the waitress ringing in our check was going to fall over*

Hubby: you are disturbing!

Me: OMG the fun I am going to have with this. Come on Kennie, let’s get you home so you can relieve yourself. How are you feeling today Kennie…super stretched or tight as a drum? What’s coming down the pipe Kennie? O.M.G this is fabulous!

Hubby: I regret telling you already!

Me: you know you love it. Now get your ass together and let’s go…

Ever google or urban dictionary your first or last name? Any deranged meanings? Any nasty (meant with the greatest of love) pet names for your significant other? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

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Urban Word Wednesday: Helicopter

November 7, 2012 44 Comments

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Helicopter: 1) When you swing your penis around in a circle and make the noise of a helicopter. 2) Sexual act with the female on top. The female does a split and inserts lubed penis into vagina. The male then grabs hold of the female’s legs and spins her around rapidly, similar to that of a helicopter’s blades. Has a high failure rate, roughly 100%.

Examples Of Use:

It all started with August McLaughlin’s post on girl boners on Monday. I read it, loved it, commented and went on my merry way. That is until hubby and I hit the movies. We went to see Flight on Monday evening and went early to ensure we got optimal seats. There we sat munching our popcorn when hubby decides he and I are going to be part of the movie pre-show for all the other early birds.

He pulls out his Galaxy III and reads out loud the following comment fun he had enjoyed on August’s post earlier that day.

Then we proceed to have this conversation.

Me: I cannot believe you mentioned the Helicopter on August’s blog. My god. You know there are probably 18 kinky/nasty things that it means online…good lord, now all the blogosphere is going to think you and I are into even weirder shit than they already do.

Hubby: girl boner in theory is all fine and dandy but I’m sorry…the visual of you growing a wang to suds up in the shower and twirl around and around to do the Helicopter was too much to bare. I lost my shit a little bit.

Me: well duh…I don’t want a physical manifestation either but I think August’s point was more to women’s pleasure being higher on our radar from day 1.

Hubby: and I am all for it…but the term girl boner…I couldn’t get past it.

Me: hopefully Kristy doesn’t think we are into the sexual act of the Helicopter…I mean, who at our age could do the splits and hold the pose while getting turned around on a dick?!? Sounds more like Mission Impossible than the Helicopter to me! We are definitely not into kink like that!  

Hubby: what’s with the “we” shit? I’d totally be into that!

 Me: I bet you would since you wouldn’t the one having to do the splits and get swung around…

Ever seen a version of the Helicopter? Think you’d like a girl boner? Your partner more kinky than you? How do you balance your different needs? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

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Urban Word Wednesday: Pumpkin Goatse

October 31, 2012 31 Comments

Happy Halloween and welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME, hubby…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Pumpkin Goatse: A carved pumpkin made to mimic a real-life goatse, which a disgusting picture of a man stretching his butt extremely wide.

Examples Of Use:

Hubby’s family hosted their annual Family Pumpkin Day this past Sunday. On Saturday, hubby and I set off in search of the perfect pumpkins to purchase. We hit a local farmer’s pumpkin patch to scour through the hundreds of choices (along with many other families gearing up for Halloween).

As we were perusing, I turned to see hubby bent over, staring intently at a pumpkin while at the same time grabbing his ass cheeks with either hand.

Me: WHAT are you doing? Are you fart constipated again?

*said in a high-pitched hushed whisper*

Hubby: I am farting just fine. I want to do a pumpkin goatse this year so I am visualizing.

Me: what in God’s name is a pumpkin goatse?

Pumpkin Goatse Example

Hubby: you know…a picture of a guy holding his ass cheeks and spreading it wide for all the world to see.

Me: and you want to do this to a pumpkin?

*hubby is still bent over having this conversation*

Hubby: yes…I’ve showed you the pictures. They are hilarious!

Me: ok…but that doesn’t explain why you are bent over doing a clothed demo of a goatse for all these people to enjoy? I mean your ass is hot but I think you might be starting to scare the children.

*finally he lets go of his own ass only to start man-handling the pumpkin*

Hubby: the children are fine! They’ve likely seen worse. I am trying to get a sense whether or not this pumpkin has the right shaped potential buns and crack. I want them perfectly round and supple like my own so I thought a hands-on approach would help in the determination.

Me: good lord…well does that pumpkin fit the bill or not cause I think you are about to get arrested for sexually assaulting it.

Hubby: not quite what I am looking for. You may want to sit in the car. This testing could take a while. I do have a pretty perfect ass.

Hubby opted for a carving that was slightly more meaningful than the pumpkin goatse. At least our trick or treaters won’t be scared for life.

Your spouse ever embarrass you in public? What pumpkin shopping stories do you have? Got a great pumpkin carvings to share? How do you celebrate Halloween? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

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Urban Word Wednesday: Cropnihilation

October 24, 2012 33 Comments

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME, hubby…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Cropnihilation (by hubby): the dirty grandfather of cropdusting (the act of farting WHILE walking; leaving a trail behind yourself). Cropnihilation is cropdusting on speed.

Examples Of Use:

If y’all follow hubby on Facebook, you saw his recent post on his experience at Sobey’s yesterday.

Hubby shared this little ditty with me after work while we were waiting in line at Canadian Tire. He also told it with a little more…flare! Had me howling!

Hubby: I think I need to take a shower before cooking supper.

Me: why? Rough day at work?

Hubby: I went to Sobeys today and was following about 10 feet behind an old fella when all of a sudden he balled up his fist and coughed. At the same time, he let out the loudest, largest fart I’ve ever heard! It was insane and RIGHT in front of me. I couldn’t get around it even if I wanted to. I had to walk right into it!

Me: OMG the old dude totally cropdusted you…that’s hilarious.

Hubby: ok, A) it’s not funny and B) that was no cropdust honey…that was a cropnihilation! He might as well of sat on my face. He might as well shit ON me!

*I couldn’t stop laughing at this point*

Hubby: I feel dirty and violated!

 Me: you should definitely sanitize when we get home!

Ever been cropnihilated or even cropdusted? Ever been the perpetrator? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

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Urban Word Wednesday: Macturbate

October 10, 2012 48 Comments

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

I am still giggling and teeheeing over yesterday’s guest post with Jenny (gonna have to have that girl visit way more often)…did y’all see the comments? O.M.G. riot! Be sure to check it out today if you haven’t already.

Now…on to today’s fun!

Macturbate: v. to pleasure oneself through use of an Apple product.

Examples Of Use:

On Friday, Hubby and I were on vacay so we decided to hit a matinee. When we got to the mall, where our theatre is, we had about an hour to kill so I lured hubby down to the new Jump+ store. They sell Apple products. Hubby had to remove me from the store when I started drooling on things. The store sales representative seemed to get quite a kick out of us. Since we were the only two in the store, I am sure he couldn’t help but overhear.

Me: OMG, I want one of everything.

*I said as I lovingly ran my fingers over the MacBook Pro with Retina display laptop keyboard*

Hubby: really? I don’t get the big deal? Mac, Dell, whatever?!?!

Me: bite your tongue. Don’t talk so loose! These are MAC babies and they can hear you.

Hubby: if you could have anything in here, what would buy?

Me: one??? I’m torn between a MacBook Pro for the speed and the RETINA display or a MacBook Air for the dreamy light yet still powerful speed…drool! Quite frankly, I could macturbate with either and be quite satisfied.

*I thought hubby was going to choke*

Hubby: macturbate?!?!?! What in God’s name are you going to do to it?

 Me: get your mind out of the gutter hubby. There’s nothing dirty about macturbating. Mac people do it every day…all the time…you know, pleasure oneself through the use of an Apple product. I mean…just touch the keyboard here and feel the ripple of pleasure through your finger tips…ahhhh…

*At this point hubby started pulling me out of the store*

Hubby: we need to go before you get us arrested…

What is your dream computer? Think Macs rule the world or are all laptops pretty much the same? Which Mac would you recommend I get? Do you macturbate? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

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Urban Word Wednesday: Voicemail Voice

October 3, 2012 34 Comments

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Voicemail Voice: A more serious, professional tone of voice typically reserved for voicemail greetings. It’s often misused in casual, less business-oriented settings.

Examples Of Use:

Hubby and I were at the airport gearing up to fly home after an absolutely stellar weekend at the MADD Canada leadership conference. We were catching a connection in Ottawa and were running late. I stopped to grab a quick coffee and the barista noticed my new, pink and white I Promise bracelet. We enjoyed a little chit-chat while she prepared my caramel macchiato.

Barista: OMG that is so cute. What’s the promise for?

Me: I know…isn’t the pink and white fabulous. The bracelet signifies the promise I’ve made to drive sober.

Barista: really? Wow. That’s kind of cool. I didn’t know there was such a thing. Where do you get them?

Me: oh you can get them from the company’s website. It’s www.ipromisemom.com and the bracelets cost $5 with $2 going to MADD Canada. They have a ton of colors. You should check them out. They even have key chains and you can custom order a bracelet.

Barista: soooo cool!!! Thanks…

*I walk away to join hubby and head to our gate*

Hubby: look at you little I Promise sales rep!

Me: gotta spread the word big guy!

Hubby: absolutely…I think you did a great job but what was that voice you were using? High pitched and all excited…you were like the ultimate used car sales person….schmoozing her right up!

 Me: that was my voicemail voice. I thought it sounded more professional. Too much?

Hubby: never too much…maybe you could bring that voice to the bedroom…and sell me?!?!? Very hot!

Do you have a voicemail voice? When do you break out the ultimate professional tone? Do people tend to respond to you differently based on your voice and approach? How would make out as a sales person? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

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