Urban Word Wednesday: Douche Dial

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Douche Dial (brought to you by HUBBY!): A term to let someone know how much or how little they are acting like a real douchebag. The higher the douche dial, the bigger the douche.

Examples Of Use:

Last week, hubby and I joined some friends for a birthday dinner celebration. Somehow on the way to the restaurant, hubby came up with the douche dial term and we giggled about it incessantly. Of course, it became the center of our conversation that night since in a group setting, hubby and I can really get our banter on!

Hubby: I see you’ve turned your douche dial to high tonight honey!

Me: my douche dial is actually set to low but I can crank it up if you’d like?

Friends: douche dial???

Hubby: it’s a meter to evaluate her douchebagness!

Table: ROFL that’s awesome!

Hubby: and tonight she’s working that douche dial like a stripper on a pole?!

Me: I’ll take that as a compliment.

Me: I think it’s you who’s got the douche dial turned to max! However, if you need a lesson, I can turn mine to high any time to teach you the difference…that’s just how kind and generous I am. Give Give Give!

*Hubby holds his hand up and starts turning a virtual knob to HIGH!*

The table was in hysterics!

Do you like to spin the douche dial periodically? Know someone who does? Let’s hear your best douche dial stories people. Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

  • Did you read the Bloggess’ anniversary party post? OMG she totally outdid last year’s giant metal chicken. It involves a sloth people…need I say more?!?!
  • I’d love to be a fly on the wall when Lynnette Conroy’s coworkers receive her emails. Working from home must be awesome!
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FAB posts on blogging, tweeting, writing, living and laughing…

It’s Thursday and that means it’s time to share the blog luv.

Blog/Tweet Out Loud:

Write Out Loud:

  • Since I am planning to embark on writing women’s fiction, I got a ton out of Roni Loren’s guest post by Sierra Godfrey on creating the all important dark moment. The post was super helpful on making sense of structure elements I’ve been reading about.
  • Jami Gold offered a fantastic gem on what makes a story feel realistic that’s a definite must read.
  • You HAVE to go read Shéa MacLeod’s guest post, the Phoenix and the Darkness, by Lizzy Ford. Lizzy is another of the amazing Indie Chicks: 25 Women 25 Personal Stories and her post is powerful and left me a smidge speechless. I was enthralled with Lizzy’s story and her writing. You will be too.
  • Jennifer Eaton had a very serious scare for any writer. Go read her post and then go back up your stuff!
  • Kristen Lamb puts together another winner with her post on the importance of the antagonists. I hadn’t ever thought about it that way but it MAKES sense! I am just starting out and I am going to follow this little ditty to the letter. Besides, I think it’s one character profile I’ll have a blast doing.
  • Jody Hedlund did a great guest post on Writers in the Storm about 4 steps she uses for organizing plot ideas into a novel. I loved the post. It was practical advice that I think will totally work for me. Add a little of Kristen Lamb’s advice and any writer would be well on their way – I know I hoped to be!
  • I thoroughly enjoyed Kathy Owen’s post this week on how writing is like putting up your Christmas tree. I loved the parallel she made and how she tied it all together! Great analogy!

Life Out Loud:

  • I just ADORED Piper Bayard’s post on spreading the moxie. Essentially, you need to know what you want in life and then not be afraid to ask for it and go after it! Sometimes, it just works out! Her post inspired me to go after what I want – no excuses!
  • I loved Nancy J. Nicholson’s post on recognizing that sometimes the shortest distance between two points isn’t always a straight line. Sometimes taking a break, walking away, and letting the frustration slip away will only help your creativity blossom.
  • Did you SEE Marcia Richards NEW blog DESIGN!?!? Like O.M.G.! It’s totally up my alley and I love it! She also did a wonderful post on the history and meaning behind advent calendars. I had no idea. I love how she made her own that created ahhhmazing and meaningful family memories!
  • Friendships are sooo important. And if you are traveling around the world, making new galpals can be a great way to experience the real culture of the area. Patricia Sands made friendships that will last a lifetime half way around the world and got a real taste of France.

Laugh Out Loud:

  • TELL me…ASSURE me that you all read Jenny Hansen’s post on how her secret coffee concoction led to her friend Clair being…well…propositioned!!!! By a married man no less. He drank the coffee and lost his mind! RIOT! And the hubby and Jenny had a portmanteau-off in the comment section with Jenny pulling out the win (in my humble opinion…lol).
  • Have you seen what The Bloggess has been up to lately? She scored an enormous, wearable taxidermied wolf and then…she wore it to the opening of Twilight with a friend who dressed up like the Volturi – OMG the photos are hysterical! Seriously funny!

I hope you enjoyed this week’s line-up of fantabulous blog posts. Stay tuned for next week’s. I promise to go and spend oodles of time (time away from friends and family I’ll have you know…) to bring you this do-or-die information…My god…you guys must really love me!!

Got any ditties of your own to share? Let me know and maybe they’ll be featured as part of next week’s line-up…

Thursday’s linky love!

It’s Thursday and that means it’s time to share the blog luv.

Blog Out Loud:

  • Many of you have likely already heard about and/or read Roni Loren’s post, or should I say rant, about blogging, platforms and the pressures on writers. It was a great post that I took very much as positive encouragement. For me, the basic message was stop freaking out! Social media is not the be all and end all to be a successful writer. Sure, done well it’ll help. But if you hate it, not to worry, that likely won’t mean the end of your writing career. I absolutely love blogging and have a healthy addiction to twitter. So I am good! But I know others struggle. If you do, ease up! Seriously!
  • Now, if you aren’t scared off from blogging, I also came across The Top 10 Blog which has a wonderful guest post by social media (for writers) maven Kristen Lamb with 10 tips for blogging awesomeness. Seriously people – we know Kristen would never steer us wrong so go, read, and implement! 

Write Out Loud:

Laugh Out Loud:

  • In need of a laugh? Go check out Noa Gavin’s blog and her texting with Jesus. I nearly peed myself – hilarious!
  • I just about died reading Telling Dad’s post on how to deal with children’s dreaded “why” question and why it is imperative that you use one of his three tactics lest you risk showing of weakness…as he says “children are masters at sensing and exploiting vulnerabilities.” HYSTERICAL!
  • Ok – seriously. I think I snorted coffee out my nose reading The Bloggess’ post on how no one makes cards for National Mental Illness week. RIOT! I totally want to order the card she created for all of my friends – classic!

Life Out Loud:

  • I read a fantastic post this week by Lani Wendt Young on how much is too much when it comes to information for your kids. She and her hubby like to shoot straight from the hip when it comes to talking to their kids but they’ve received a few raised eyebrows from other parents. I say “let em’ raise their eyebrows Lani…kids today need to know!” This coming from a childless woman! LOL!
  • This week I was simply BLOWN away by Nicole Basaraba’s tour of the highway through the Romanian Făgărăș (Fah-gah-rush) Mountains. Unparalleled beauty and fear (ya think?!?!). I don’t think I could have handled the drive. I would have had a heart attack AND peed myself (ask hubby, he knows it’s true…) As a brave western Canadian girl who knows all about mountain drives (having driven across Park Bridge, BC), this tour tested even Nicole’s bravery! The pictures are absolutely stunning – definitely go check it out!
  • How often have you been surprised by a person’s actions because their words seems to say something different about themselves? I see it all the time in my single pals dating stories and it’s sad. Amber West wrote a post last week about how actions speak louder than words and it’s so true. I used her post to remind myself that integrity is important to me so I gotta always be conscious that I walk the talk. Do you?

I hope you enjoyed this week’s line-up of fantabulous blog posts. Stay tuned for next week’s. I promise to go and spend oodles of time (time away from friends and family I’ll have you know…) to bring you this do-or-die information…My god…you guys must really love me!!

Got any ditties of your own to share? Let me know and maybe they’ll be featured as part of next week’s line-up…

Thursday’s love fest! Uber stuff to check out….

It’s Thursday and that means it’s time to share the blog luv.

Blog Out Loud:

  • Social Media Savvy Pets offers us 8 tips for writing the perfect blog post. Who couldn’t use that? Love how they suggest keeping posts to 400-800 words. I think my “typically” fall into that range but I know I can get a wee bit wordy. Gonna have to try to keep things a bit tighter so I don’t lose y’all to yawns and click mania.
  • Here’s a little technical ditty that might help you take your WordPress (or Blogger) blog from bland to BAM. Carrie Spencer’s Woodie Knows WordPress editions are step-by-step, easy-to-understand technical tips and tricks. Check out her tutorial on basic HTML for some helpful hints!!
  • I am sure we can all relate to Trish Loye Elliott’s struggles with the art of blogging. She’s gearing up to take the blog plunge but has reservations – go give her some encouragement!

Write Out Loud:

  • Loved that Jenny Hansen brought us all 5 bits of wisdom from New York Times Bestselling author, Susan Mallery. Jenny had the opportunity to hear her speak recently and graciously shared the wealth with some fabulous motivational tips for writers. It came not a minute too soon as a lot of us embark on ROW80 – Round 4. I loved it!
  • I know…I know…you likely have all seen it (and are tired of hearing about my hero worshiping of Kristen Lamb) but I can’t help it if the woman writes such damn fine posts with loads of uberlicious material for writers that I feel compelled to share JUST IN CASE you missed it. I could link to…well…just about every blog post she writes but one in particular stood out to me recently. Susan Bischoff swung by Kristen’s blog to give her unique perspective and experience about learning to blog on topics that will increase book readership. If you didn’t get a chance to check it out, do it! It’s a light bulb moment post!

Laugh Out Loud:

Just recently it occurred to me that…well…maybe we don’t allll share the same sense of humour?!?! GASP!!! So…if you don’t find any of these funny…well…my apologies! You’re on your own! I can’t save you.

  • Ok, when I saw Piper Bayard’s post on one upping invisible art with invisible porn, I had to go check it out. You guys often write me “where do you come up with this stuff???” well go visit Piper’s blog post. I nearly died. Where does she come up with this stuff? Brilliant!
  • Whenever I need a dose of funny, I know I can always count on The Bloggess to deliver in spades and last week was no different. I just about died reading her post on bulletin board sign drama in her neighborhood. Be sure to read the first post, she links to it but you can also find it here, so you have the background. OMG – I think tears streamed down my face! RIOT!
  • Like The Bloggess, anytime I am looking for a sure-fire funny treat, I just swing over to Catalog Living and I am giggling away in no time. Check out Pardon my French. I laughed out loud. In my office. While alone.
  • Lani Wendt Young wrote an uberlicious blog post about how she used to be a luxury lingerie lover until she had children. Sooo good and I am sure a lot of us can relate! LOL!

Life Out Loud:

  • I know it got around Twitter quite heavily so a lot of you may have already seen this but just in case, I had to highlight it. Justine Musk wrote an uberlicious post on the so-called rules for the badass creative woman and I LOVED it! Definitely go check it out!
  • Then I discovered Claire Legrand’s post on getting outside your comfort zone, also a must read. I loved it because it reminded me that in taking risks and stepping beyond our usual zone, we stretch, grow, and expand which is all good!
  • And last but certainly not least, JUST this morning, I discovered Liza Kane’s uber guest post at Courage 2 Create. I absolutely loved her writer’s guide to a healthy and happy marriage (…shoulda called it the everyone’s guide…) because when people ask me and hubby “what our secret is,” her key points are the ones we refer to: individual happiness, shared values, and mutual respect (all in ACTIONS not in words only)! Sadly, I am always sooo surprised how many still don’t get it. I have an overload of friends still out there searching for “inner happiness” in the arms of a partner never realizing, it’s actually the mirror they need to connect with. So well said Liza!

I hope you enjoyed this week’s line-up of fantabulous blog posts. Stay tuned for next week’s. I promise to go and spend oodles of time (time away from friends and family I’ll have you know…) to bring you this do-or-die information…My god…you guys must really love me!!

Got any ditties of your own to share? Let me know and maybe they’ll be featured as part of next week’s line-up…

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