Cheesecake travesties

I’ve heard cheesecake can be tricky to make. Mom passed me down a recipe that for years I mastered for birthdays and special occasions. It was like my signature dish. I was soooo proud that out of all my cooking and baking fiascos, this was one I was able to rock.

Then I took a hiatus. I didn’t bake a cheesecake for years.

It must have been Thanksgiving 2003 because I was separated from my first husband and living at home with Mom, Dad and my sister Megan. Mom and Dad were planning a spectacular dinner for the whole family and Megan and I were tasked with dessert. Of course I turned to my trusted Cheesecake.

I followed Mom’s recipe to the letter.

Cheesecake

I could tell this was going to be the best cheesecake evah! The crust came out beautifully. As we poured the batter into the pan, it was silky and smooth. Megan and I were going to be the queens of the ball! We preheated the oven, we baked, we timed. Everything was going splendid.

At the 65 minute mark, I took the cheesecake out and did the toothpick test.

You know…where you stick a toothpick into baked goods and if it comes out clean, it’s baked and if it comes out with stuff on it, you got a few more minutes to go (if you are raising your eyebrows at this point…keep reading).

Megan and I looked and thought it was weird that after following the recipe to the letter, the toothpick came out with stuff on it. Who are we to question the baking Gods; back in the oven the cheesecake went.

15 minutes later and another check and…weird…a cheesecake covered toothpick…more baking.

Megan and I must have repeated this process for 3 hours. We baked that cheesecake and then we baked it some more. We thought maybe the oven was broken?!

When Mom and Dad came home, I thought they were going to die of laughter. Of course, any one who is reading this who has any baking knowledge knows, you never do the toothpick test with cheesecake…it will always come out with stuff on it. DUH?!

My cheesecake master ego was shattered.

To their credit, the entire family choked down that super dry cheesecake. It was like eating dry, super-tasty chalk. We just smothered it in loads of Strawberry sauce (I don’t have Mom’s recipe but this one looks about right). God love family!

What’s your favorite cheesecake recipe? Have any baking fiasco stories to share? Or perhaps your friends and family have tortured you with terrible desserts? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

For the month of November and December, I am proud to be taking part in the Holiday Yum Blog Hop where a group of uber bloggers will regale you with recipes and funny cooking stories.

This week’s highlights:

  • December 17: Cheesecake travesties with yours truly
  • December 19: Jenny Hansen’s Holly Candy (OMG can’t WAIT)

Already Posted:

Stay tuned for:

  • December 23: Jess Witkins will entice us with either some comfort food or appetizer
  • December 26: Kathy Owen will come through with beef rib-eye roast with currant jelly brown gravy
  • December 28:  I will give you some fabulous Mocktail options for your New Year’s Eve parties

Be sure to check out our ever uberlicious host, Kathy Owen’s Holiday Yum page and leave her some blog hop luv!

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Driving while…shaving?

There is a strong likelihood that most of you have heard of this story considering I believe it came out in 2010 but it’s so insane, it bears repeating! Thank you Trudy for sending it my way! And thank you Celia Rivenbark for your witty take on the story. ROFL! 

Now y’all know I am all about keeping my nest lean and mean but while driving?

Don’t get me wrong, I understand wanting to be “good to go” but was her date honestly going to tear a piece as soon as she walked through the door? Couldn’t she have just packed her razor and shaving cream in her purse and took a little bathroom break prior to getting her groove on? You see it in the movies all the time…the woman excuses herself to powder her nose and unmentionables, right?

Bloody insane…there’s no way I’d put a razor down by my girlie parts going 75 miles per hour trying to run the gas, brake and steer! I have enough issues trying to get a straight line and avoid razor burn shaving the girl in the shower where I can spread eagle, use a mirror and bend into a pretzel. Can you imagine taking a swipe sight unseen? Yikes.

And let us not forget her ex-husband, the real hero of the story. I mean, have you ever heard of such a gentleman before? He actually steered the car while she shaved her hooha in preparation for a date with another man. Then tried to take the blame by claiming he was the one driving after the accident…and they say gallantry is dead? I think not! This guy is a real peach. Why he is her ex is beyond me? She obviously had a real keeper in her midst. Slipped through her fingers…dang!

Given her long (and recent) criminal driving history, my only question is this…why wasn’t the ex driving? I mean…wouldn’t that have just made the most sense?

Although this story is meant to be entertaining, y’all know how serious I am about driving sober and alert. Enjoy the giggle but let’s all remember to driver sober and to put our phones (and razors) away while driving.

What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done while driving? Or what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever seen or heard about someone doing while driving? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

For the month of November and December, I am proud to be taking part in the Holiday Yum Blog Hop where a group of uber bloggers will regale you with recipes and funny cooking stories.

Our tentative schedule looks like this:

  • November 17: Jenny Hansen’s Gluten-Free Thanksgiving Meal – talk about an extravaganza!
  • November 19: Kathy Owen’s Spiced Pecans – OMG I so want to try these.
  • November 26: Ellen M. Gregg’s Chocolatiest Chocolate Cake Evah (and lemonade) – how will I EVER follow a diet now?
  • November 28: Jenny Hansen’s Almond Roca…I hear it’s to DIE for!
  • December 2: Estee Lavitt’s Latkes
  • December 5: Yours truly with French Lace Cookies
  • December 10: Kathy Owen’s Butter Spritz Cookies
  • December 14: Ellen M. Gregg’s Old-fashioned Buttermilk Sugar Cookies (with Christmas punch)
  • December 17: I am back with a recipe for Cheesecake that is so simple but even I messed it up once
  • December 19: Jenny Hansen’s Holly Candy
  • December 23: Jess Witkins will entice us with either some comfort food or appetizer
  • December 26: Kathy Owen will come through with beef rib-eye roast with currant jelly brown gravy
  • December 28:  I will give you some fabulous Mocktail options for your New Year’s Eve parties

Stay tuned for link updates as posts go live and for more to be added to the schedule. Be sure to check out our ever uberlicious host, Kathy Owen’s Holiday Yum page and leave her some blog hop luv!

OMG…we are all going to eat like Kings and Queens….

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