I confess damn it…I’ve been avoiding WordPress

It’s 3:30 in the morning. My dog woke me up because she felt she was being squeezed out from her comfy spot. I made room, she came back but now sleep is elusive. So I figure fawk it, it’s time to write a post.

Yes, I promised you the ever enthralling “When a shit isn’t a shit…” and I swear it’s all written and ready to go but, I have a confession to make. I’ve been avoiding WordPress.

My last post eliciting a huge outpouring of support, not just here on the blog but via Facebook, phone calls, emails, private messages. WOW! I’ve been overwhelmed and blown away by how deeply and unconditionally people care. How blessed I feel!!! I shouldn’t be surprised because deep down, that is what I believe our world is full of – exceptionally caring and loving people – but for whatever reason this did surprise me. In a good way. And I’ve wanted to follow up, shout out, write witty blog posts to keep you all entertained beyond measure, as my thank you and also to keep my promise that this blog won’t be all doom and gloom. But every time I think about blogging, I freeze.

Why?

Cause since then it’s been pretty gloomy. Fawk!

The days haven’t been horrible but they haven’t been great. The pain is exhausting. The brain fog no joke. And I’ve been so depressed lately. On the good side, I’ve been trying a new eating approach. It’s actually an elimination diet to find out what foods cause inflammation in each of us uniquely. And frankly, I’ve loved it. Love the food; except that whole flax seed granola the author said was so amazing you’d be addicted to it…ummm…NO!. I’ve tried every blasted way to get that shit down to no avail. Now if I even catch a glimpse of the container, my stomach threatens to grab my lady bits and turn them inside out. I digress. The food. Ah yes. Other than the whole flaxseed granola from hell, I’m actually enjoying the food. Frankly, it’s AMAZING! And most importantly, I love that I feel like I am finally learning to cook, to feed my body what it thrives on….figuring out spices I like, trying new things (Manchego cheese…who knew?!?!). It’s awesome.

But it’s fawking EXHAUSTING!

And that depresses me. I’ve been doing this for seven days (I know, I know…rush much!). I hit the grocery store every other day, come home and cook for an hour or two (usually covers a couple lunches and suppers) and then I. am. done. For like days….yesterday and today I couldn’t even bring myself to hit the grocery store. Today I had to rest ALL DAY just so would have enough energy and enough pain management to go see a movie with my mother tonight. Seriously?!

WTF? And the pain….no better. I know, I know…it takes time. But my God I just need relief.

So that’s where I am at. Thursday I took the dogs for a play date for an hour, and I was absolutely wrecked after. Had a huge breakdown when I got home. Had another huge breakdown when hubby got home. I am so fawking sad. I miss the girl I used to be so desperately. The easy laughter. The energy. The sharp, witty mind. The optimism. It all feels like it’s gone, and hanging on to hope that it’s going to get better, that I just need to hang in there, is getting harder and harder every. single. day.

So that’s why I am hear at now 3:53 am. Confessing my avoidance. Admitting my fear that I just won’t be good enough. That I just won’t be able to deliver like I used to. I can’t.

So here’s what I decided. It may be all doom and gloom for awhile but shit, I’ll do my best to at least try to make it somewhat funny, if I can. But I need an outlet. I need a place to put it all out there. To share with whoever is listening. To make sure the world knows about how hard this actually is. I am not sitting home watching Downton Abbey eating bonbons happy as a clown (well ok….fawk….I have been binging on Downton Abbey and I do eat Werthers pretty steadily to combat the chronic fawking dry mouth…can anyone say PARCHED??? But I am definitely NOT happy as a clown), and frankly I’d rather be anywhere feeling productive, alive, vibrant and witty as all get out than here in bed with my bonbons, my pain and the pups (although the pups do make it less sucky).

So there, I’m going to just say it like it is for the next however long. And to combat feeling like a chronic whining fool yanging on about how I feel like an 80-year-old woman all the time, albeit hubby does say I walk like one hobbling around in the morning, I am no longer going to link my blog posts to Facebook or Twitter. Well after this one. I just don’t want to put it out there like that. I don’t want to subject anyone to any more negativity than they already have to fight through every day.

If you want to follow along, check out my blog regularly or heck, subscribe, but otherwise, I’m keeping this to WordPress so at least I don’t feel quite so…IN YOUR FACE with my shit.

And again, thank you so much to everyone out there who offers love and support. I may not reach out much but please know I appreciate it…deeply!

Hugs…

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Fibro what????

Some people know. A lot don’t.

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I’ve been off work on sick leave most of the summer. Honestly, I think this has been a few years coming. Things slowly started getting more and more overwhelming. But hey, I had lost a job, got a new job (albeit not permanent), got permanent, wasn’t sure if it would last and was volunteering A LOT. I had every reason to feel overwhelmed, foggy, dizzy, exhausted and slightly sore (like all over….a lot).

I threw my back out three years ago and it never really got better. I seemed to experience a lot of muscle injuries (going up one flight of stairs could debilitate my walking ability for days but I’m out of shape so that’s normal right???). I didn’t really realize or maybe I didn’t want to accept that it kept getting worse. Little by little so the impact on “normal” was so subtle I never really noticed the slow but detrimental deteriation going on.

imageLast year I fell out of my chair at work a couple times because I was so dizzy, couldn’t tell if the car was actually stopped at street lights because it felt like I was on a boat. I couldn’t concentrate. Felt really burned out. I thought depression or anxiety. I saw the doctor and started on Celexa and it helped. A lot. Phew…dodged a bullet.

Then early this year, the pain became unbearable. Excruciating pain in my back and my left arm left me sleepless for weeks. The pain was so intense, I didn’t really clue in that I was also hurting all over. Getting out of bed in the mornings felt like I was eighty years old, crippled and achy. I couldn’t get moving. My spirit felt like it was dying. My sparkle was dim. People were noticing I wasn’t myself. I thought it was just sleep deprivation so hubby and I took an impromptu trip down south just the two of us to se if that helped.

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I didn’t sleep any better through the night but I was able to nap and rest more during the day than I had in months. I came back and felt better. Felt more myself. Not 100% but better. People commented….people had noticed I seemed better. Phew…I just needed a week away.

But it didn’t take long for the pain, exhaustion, dizziness, mental incapacitation and depression to come back and when it hit, it hit like a ton of bricks. I was no longer able to hold it together. I started crying…like all the time…everywhere…at work. Someone would come in and ask how I was doing and I’d fall apart like a blubbering idiot. I had extensive. bloods work, I went to physio, I had X-rays (that showed arthritis in my back but nothing to explain the severe and debilitating arm pain I was experiencing), not to mention my entire body felt like it was breakdown…inside I felt helpless and consumed by darkness.

I saw the doc and fell apart. She put me off work for a week and upped my anti-depressant. She added an anti-inflammatory to help with the never-ending pain and a sleep aid to help my muscles relax so I could get some continuous sleep. I felt hopeful. I thought onice the medications kicked in and I started sleeping, everything would be fine. Everything would go back to normal. A week turned into eight and here I am. A little better but no where near healthy.

Fibromyalgia….The mayo clinic defines it as a “disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. Researchers believe that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals.

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I’ve been on the medications for about eight weeks now and my doctor says this is about as far as I’ll get with the current protocol. And to be honest, I do have more good days then bad but let’s be real, my “good” days aren’t what they used to be.

A good day means four or five hours straight before being woken up by pain, somewhere in my body. It means I can get up in the morning even though the pain in my back, ankles, calves and shins threatens to flatline me. It means if hubby gives me a little leg massage to help loosen me up, he can actually touch me without it feeling like he’s surgically carving me up. A good day means once I am up and around for an hour or so, the pain seems to settle to a dull, constant ache. A good day means no migraine but maybe a headache. A good day means maybe I can take the dogs for a 10 to 2o-minute walk (no hills) or throw the ball with the launcher for them without suffering from excruciating leg, arm and back pain. A good day means I can visit with one person for maybe an hour or two before  exhaustion takes over. A good day means I am sporadically vertical for four or five hours before I need to lay down (gravity chair preferred) and rest for four or five hours so that I will be coherent enough to enjoy supper, a chat and maybe watch a show or two with hubby.

More good days than bad. Before the medications, there were next to no good days. Now, I am averaging about two to three good days a week, with one or two “so-so” days and the rest….hell. And once a bad day hits, it can feel like forever to get the good days back.

A bad day means literally no sleep the night before, every toss and turn feeling like being struck by a hot poker startling me awake gasping for breath. My hands going so numb that it feels like I am wearing giant mittens. A bad day means a migraine and body pain in my arm, back, legs, neck and ankles so intense hubby can hardly touch me, and I usually drug myself into oblivion to try and somewhat sleep through it. A bad day means every. single. time. I get up to pee it feels like pins and needles attacking my entire system while a 200-pound man surprise punches me every two to three minutes. A bad day means that wearing a bra feels like someone is going 10 rounds on my ribs. It means crying, isolation, hopelessness and feeling so overwhelmed by a sense of complete and utter sadness and despair that sometimes I wonder what is the damn point?!?!?! Bad days….leave me feeling so desperately betrayed by my body.

And that’s just the physical. The mental issues have been challenging to say the least. And they don’t seem to respond to the ebb and flow of good and bad days. They remain a constant. Hubby says that the brain fog is so bad, it’s not even fun to torment me anymore. You know it’s bad when…I know stupid is an ugly word but it’s the only one that sums up how I feel. Stupid. Numb. Dense. Seriously, sometimes I sit for nearly an entire minute trying to remember the damn word I wanted to use. Now that happens to all of us but it happens to me FREQUENTLY every. single. day! It feels like my beautifully sharp mind has turned to mush.

The fog, forgetfulness, depression, dizziness….it’s paralyzing. It makes me feel like an integral part of what makes me….me…is missing. It’s just gone. And I often wonder if it’ll ever come back.

I gotta say. I’ve gone through some shit in my life but this one has truly kicked me on my ass. It’s been hell. But in the darkness, comes the light. And y’all know I haven’t been alone. And I can’t express the gratitude I have in my heart for hubby and for my family and friends who have been the most amazing support system ever.

The next step is seeing a specialist. While I wait for an appointment (New Brunswick healthcare for my worldly friends who wonder “why is she waiting….”), God help me, I am going to implement a major lifestyle change. It’s either that or more intense medications.

Although the lifestyle changes will be WAY more arduous and require a determination and commitment that frankly I am not sure I even have in me…it’s the step I’ve chosen to take. From my research, I can’t discount the power that nutrition and supplements, relaxation and meditations, along with some light exercise could have on improving my health. And although popping a pill might seem easier, in the long run it won’t be. Medications come with their own hazards, and going any further down that road is my last resort. I need to see how far I can get with a lifestyle change before I am willing to take on those side effects.

So be prepared my friends because relaunching this blog is part of my healing journey and lifestyle changes. I plan to take y’all with me through the ups and downs, the good days and bad, the successes and the fails. Every. Painful. Step. Starting mid-September, I am going to embark on implementing some pretty significant changes that involve eating very differently  (I am going to have to learn to cook…you know like fresh food…), implementing a supplement regime that gives new meaning to the words “excessive and complex”, using meditation and relaxation techniques along with a stretching and exercise program daily.

Even though this blog is going to be part of my healing journey, I promise this isn’t going to be all doom and gloom…y’all know I got some hilarity that MUST be unleashed (if I can find my words)….like my next planned post “When a Shit Isn’t Really a Shit…” Stay tuned for the fun…

What about you? Any summer struggles this year? How do you live your best life?

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I’m BAAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKK!!!

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Four years…seriously!?! It’s been three years since I’ve written a blog post. Wow. I only meant to take a six month hiatus but life just took over and three years have blown by. Oops. So let me bring you up to speed.

  • MADD volunteering – hundreds of hours.
  • Bought a couple of old snowmobiles, blew one up, bought two more old snowmobiles. Lots of snowmobiling during the winter months.
  • A couple trips to Punta Cana, Dominican Republic to help pass the winter months (including a surprise trip for my 40th birthday).
  • Yes…I turned 40. And 41…
  • Tess, my beloved duck toller, died. Check out here tribute video.
  • Hubby launched his Bat Hubby persona (you are gonna get to see lots of Bat Hubby around here).
  • We welcomed a new duck toller puppy into our life, Arizona. Six month later, we adopted her three-year-old sire (father) so our home is now a two duck toller home. I am not-so-secretly hinting away for a third puppy but still working on Hubby.
  • We started feeding our dogs a raw diet (yes, raw…like chicken thighs, ground beef etc). I love it.
  • Put Arizona into agility. Finishing up her training this year and Buddy’s next in 2017.
  • If you hadn’t already noticed, became super obsessed dog person (follow me on Instagram, I post a ton of dog pics).
  • We bought and sold the camp, two tent trailers, two travel trailers and now own a fifth wheel camper. Love glamping.
  • Hubby bought a motorcycle – uber sexy!
  • I lost my job (well I didn’t lose it, I know exactly where it is…four hours away in another city and I didn’t go with it). I found a new job (woot woot) that I have fallen in love with it. Especially the peeps! Best work peeps evah!!
  • Spent a lot of time at beaches, camping, traveling, sight seeing, hiking etc.
  • Put on 30 pounds. Put another 20 this summer. More on that later…
  • Lost loved ones (death, divorce, choice) and found new loved ones (birth, marriage, choice).

Check out the slide show below from the past few years. You may notice a theme.

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So now that we got that out of the way and are all up to date, what’s next?

Lipgloss Redneck
I retitled the blog as part of my re-entry into the world of blogging. A Lipgloss Redneck really sums me up. Deep down a country girl with a dash of city mixed in for good measure. Hope y’all like it. For more deets, check out my updated About Me.

What am I going to write about?
Let’s see…..SHOCKER….my dogs, since I am insanely obsessed with them. I’ll be sharing a mix of personal stories and hilarious lipgloss redneck fun! I am going to embark on a major lifestyle change (and it’s gonna get ugly and ya know I am going to share those deets!!). Urban Word Insanity will definitely be back! And yes….Hubby will be around with hilarity and insanity with Hubby’s Corner and Bat Hubby videos. He’s going to keep you in stitches!

When am I going to post?
I can’t say I am going to stick to a rigid blogging schedule. Part of what has stopped me from getting back into blogging is feeling overwhelmed by the idea of a heavy posting schedule with everything else going on in my life. As Hubby likes to point out, I am slightly OCD about things. I am usually ALL in or ALL out. He reminded me that blogging doesn’t have to be that way. For me, now, it’s about having a creative outlet to have fun with. So that’s how I am going to approach it. I hope to write fairly regularly but we’ll see how it goes.

For more deets, visit my updated About This Blog.

Also wanted to say that if I don’t reply to every comment, rest assured I read every single one and love and appreciate that you swing by on occasion and put your two cents in…If I don’t visit your blog every day or comment on every post, rest assured I do visit regularly and love your work!

This should be fun….

What have y’all been up to the last few years? How’s life? Any specific kind of post you’d love to see?

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Holiday Yum: Mocktail Mania

Hubby and I toast to each of you! Thank you for another amazing year of blogging fun, friendship and family! We wish each of you health, happiness and uber success in 2013!

Hubby and I toast to each of you! Thank you for another amazing year of blogging fun, friendship and family! We wish each of you health, happiness and uber success in 2013!

Today I am pulling up the rear of our wonderful Holiday Yum blog series. Please extend a bazillion thanks to our uberlicious hostess, the ever-fabulous Kathy Owen who initiated, organized and ran a splendidly fun blog series. I hope you’ve all enjoyed it.

New Year’s Eve is around the corner and I thought what better time to do a post on some responsible holiday “hostess with the mostess” practices followed by some uberlicious mocktail suggestions.

Being a Responsible Host

Being a good host means protecting your guests, yourself and others, as well as having a good time. You wouldn’t want to wake up the next morning to find out one of your guest’s got nailed for impaired driving or worse, injured or killed someone.

If you are going to host a party and serve alcohol (or have people bring their own booze), it’s smart to think about how you can help ensure your guests don’t drive impaired.

  • Make sure you have food available.
  • Have non-alcohol and low-alcohol beverage options available (see ideas below).
  • If you are providing the alcohol, serve the drinks rather than offering a self-service bar. Self-service may encourage heavy consumption and make it more difficult for you to keep track of your guests’ drinking.
  • Don’t serve alcohol to anyone who is or may be intoxicated.
  • Don’t encourage intoxication by serving extra-strong drinks, double shots or high alcohol content beer.
  • Have numbers available for taxi companies and be prepared to have intoxicated guests spend the night.
  • Stop serving alcohol long before you expect the party to break up. It’s not smart to serve people alcohol immediately before they drive or otherwise try to get home.
  • Watch your own consumption. The more you drink, the more difficult it will be for you to anticipate problems, supervise the event and intervene to avoid potential problems.
  • Have a couple of volunteer designated drivers who are willing to chauffeur people home.

What do you do if your drunk friend/family member insists on driving?

Insist they don’t drive. Obviously you don’t want to physically tackle them but if you can calmly and reasonably take the keys from them, do so. Then call them a cab or have someone insist on driving them home.

In a worse case situation, if someone leaves your house and you know they are driving impaired, you can call 911. I can imagine that this would be a tough decision to make but remember you need to put that person’s own personal safety and the safety of those on the road first.

Mocktails

As a responsible host, one of the best things you can do for your guests is to provide some non-alcoholic beverage options. In August, I wrote about how I was a douchebag host for years offering my guests pop and water as a non-alcoholic option and…I mean…it’s better than nothing but good lord people…we can do better for our DDs!

Today there are so many amazing options out there to have FUN with. Options that will give you a hostess with the mostess reputation. Everyone will want to come to your parties and be the DD. You’ll be the talk of the town. Even the biggest boozers will want to convert just to enjoy some of your mocktail madness.

MADD Virgin Drinks

First…there’s my ultimate favorite: MADD Virgin Drinks! OMG can you say delicious?! Hubby and I had the opportunity to try a few of their mocktail options at MADD Canada’s Leadership Conference in September (and they sent us home with samples…squeee) and I can’t say enough about them. The champagne, brut, mojitos and margaritas are to DIE FOR. A.MAZ.ING! And they are 100% alcohol free.

Our MADD Virgin Drink Samples...long gone...must order more!

Our MADD Virgin Drink Samples…long gone…must order more!

Not to mention, 10% of net sales goes to MADD Canada.

Let’s see…serve your guests amazing mocktail drinks…support MADD Canada…win hostess of the year! WIN WIN WIN!

Check out their Canadian Store Locator (most Shoppers Drug Mart carry them) or their US Store Locator to find a retailer near you. You can also order online at their Canadian online store and USA online store. They offer trade and volume discounts. Love that!

Here are some other ideas of fun mocktails you can make at home yourself…

Mock Champagne

Recipe makes 24 servings

  • 1/2 cup sugar
  • 1 1/2 cups water
  • 1/2 cup orange juice
  • 2 cups cranberry juice
  • 1 cup pineapple juice
  • 4 cups 7UP or Sprite
  1. Combine all ingredients.
  2. Serve in champagne flutes.
  3. Add strawberries or raspberries in each glass to give it a little extra pizazz.

Tornado Twists

Recipe makes 2 servings

  • 12 fluid ounces cranberry-raspberry juice
  • 1 (12 fluid ounce) can or bottle lemon-lime flavored carbonated beverage
  1. In a pitcher, mix cranberry-raspberry juice with lemon-lime soda.
  2. Pour over ice and serve.

Alcohol-Free Pina Colada

Recipe makes 2 servings

  • 1 cup ice
  • 1 1/4 cups pineapple juice
  • 1/2 cup milk
  • 1/2 cup heavy cream
  • 2 tablespoons white sugar
  1. In an electric blender, blend ice, pineapple juice, milk, cream, and sugar.
  2. Blend until smooth.
  3. Serve in glass garnished with pineapple wedge or little umbrella.

Sparkling Punch

 Recipe makes 20 servings

  • 2 lemons
  • 3 large oranges
  • 1 (6 ounce) can frozen lemonade concentrate
  • 1 liter club soda
  • 2 (750 millilitre) bottles sparkling apple cider
  • 1 tablespoon white sugar
  • 2 trays ice cubes
  1. Thinly slice the lemons and the oranges and place in a large punch bowl.
  2. Pour in the thawed lemonade.
  3. Gently stir in the club soda and the sparkling apple cider.
  4. Add sugar to taste.
  5. Add ice.
  6. Serve in margaritas glasses.

For other fabulous mocktail ideas, check out HGTV’s suggestions. Or Google mocktails for oodles of options.

What are some of your favorite mocktails to serve and enjoy? Be sure to include recipes for all the readers to enjoy. 

On August 1, 2009, my beautiful mother-in-law’s life was cut tragically short by an impaired driver and my stepson’s life changed forever. In honor of Donna and Jordan Kennie, please don’t drink and drive. Impaired driving is 100% preventable. Think about it.

Support MADD Canada and follow them on Facebook, Twitter (@maddcanada), YouTube, and on the Web.

Text MADD to 45678 to donate $5 today. Report impaired drivers – CALL 911.

More blog deliciousness here:

For the month of November and December, I have been proud to be taking part in the Holiday Yum Blog Hop where a group of uber bloggers will regale you with recipes and funny cooking stories.

This week’s highlights:

Already Posted:

Be sure to check out our ever uberlicious host, Kathy Owen’s Holiday Yum page and leave her some blog hop luv!

This holiday season…please don’t drink and drive

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As a responsible party host, how will you ensure people don’t drink and drive when leaving your holiday festivities? What would you do if a friend of yours wanted to drive impaired? To what length would you go to stop them? I’d love to hear your thoughts?

On August 1, 2009, my beautiful mother-in-law’s life was cut tragically short by an impaired driver and my stepson’s life changed forever. In honor of Donna and Jordan Kennie, please don’t drink and drive. Impaired driving is 100% preventable. Think about it.

Support MADD Canada and follow them on Facebook, Twitter (@maddcanada), YouTube, and on the Web.

Text MADD to 45678 to donate $5 today. Report impaired drivers – CALL 911.

Urban Word Wednesday: Bubblytude

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Bubblytude (Noun) a state of being lively, animated, excited or full of high spirits.

Bubblytude

Examples Of Use:

Y’all have seen hubby’s footage of my Canadian Tire dancing, right?

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Well the antics continued last night. Hubby and I hit Costco and Sobeys last night to pick up some foodies for over the holiday season (cause y’all know what happens when I bake). For me, there is nothing funner than shopping for yummy treats and tasties for the holiday season. It puts me in an over-the-top kind of mood.

Hubby and I enjoyed this convo while I was moon walking and doing the running-man up the aisles. I totally made a spectacle of myself…and loved every minute!

Hubby: you got the best shopping dance moves…should I take another video for your fans?

Me: I think one video of me dancing is quite enough for the fans.

Hubby: shopping certainly agrees with you.

Me: something about it just puts me in a bubblytude kind of mood.

Hubby: there’s nothing sexier than you with a bubblytude!

Me: don’t I know it…you know what else puts me in a bubblytude?

Hubby: what??? And I’ll be sure to get more of it.

Me: Jenny Hansen…she’ll be guest posting tomorrow on something quite naughty…something too naughty for More Cowbell (as if such a thing existed)…squeeeeeeee

Hubby: oh God….I better brace myself….

Me: if I know Jenny…it’ll have us in fits of giggles…I can’t wait! I’ll be dishing some dating dirt on her blog.

Hubby: you two are incorrigible…I can’t wait!

What gets you in a bubblytude? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

For the month of November and December, I am proud to be taking part in the Holiday Yum Blog Hop where a group of uber bloggers will regale you with recipes and funny cooking stories.

This week’s highlights:

Already Posted:

Stay tuned for:

  • December 23: Jess Witkins will entice us with either some comfort food or appetizer
  • December 26: Kathy Owen will come through with beef rib-eye roast with currant jelly brown gravy
  • December 28:  I will give you some fabulous Mocktail options for your New Year’s Eve parties

Be sure to check out our ever uberlicious host, Kathy Owen’s Holiday Yum page and leave her some blog hop luv!

Cheesecake travesties

I’ve heard cheesecake can be tricky to make. Mom passed me down a recipe that for years I mastered for birthdays and special occasions. It was like my signature dish. I was soooo proud that out of all my cooking and baking fiascos, this was one I was able to rock.

Then I took a hiatus. I didn’t bake a cheesecake for years.

It must have been Thanksgiving 2003 because I was separated from my first husband and living at home with Mom, Dad and my sister Megan. Mom and Dad were planning a spectacular dinner for the whole family and Megan and I were tasked with dessert. Of course I turned to my trusted Cheesecake.

I followed Mom’s recipe to the letter.

Cheesecake

I could tell this was going to be the best cheesecake evah! The crust came out beautifully. As we poured the batter into the pan, it was silky and smooth. Megan and I were going to be the queens of the ball! We preheated the oven, we baked, we timed. Everything was going splendid.

At the 65 minute mark, I took the cheesecake out and did the toothpick test.

You know…where you stick a toothpick into baked goods and if it comes out clean, it’s baked and if it comes out with stuff on it, you got a few more minutes to go (if you are raising your eyebrows at this point…keep reading).

Megan and I looked and thought it was weird that after following the recipe to the letter, the toothpick came out with stuff on it. Who are we to question the baking Gods; back in the oven the cheesecake went.

15 minutes later and another check and…weird…a cheesecake covered toothpick…more baking.

Megan and I must have repeated this process for 3 hours. We baked that cheesecake and then we baked it some more. We thought maybe the oven was broken?!

When Mom and Dad came home, I thought they were going to die of laughter. Of course, any one who is reading this who has any baking knowledge knows, you never do the toothpick test with cheesecake…it will always come out with stuff on it. DUH?!

My cheesecake master ego was shattered.

To their credit, the entire family choked down that super dry cheesecake. It was like eating dry, super-tasty chalk. We just smothered it in loads of Strawberry sauce (I don’t have Mom’s recipe but this one looks about right). God love family!

What’s your favorite cheesecake recipe? Have any baking fiasco stories to share? Or perhaps your friends and family have tortured you with terrible desserts? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

For the month of November and December, I am proud to be taking part in the Holiday Yum Blog Hop where a group of uber bloggers will regale you with recipes and funny cooking stories.

This week’s highlights:

  • December 17: Cheesecake travesties with yours truly
  • December 19: Jenny Hansen’s Holly Candy (OMG can’t WAIT)

Already Posted:

Stay tuned for:

  • December 23: Jess Witkins will entice us with either some comfort food or appetizer
  • December 26: Kathy Owen will come through with beef rib-eye roast with currant jelly brown gravy
  • December 28:  I will give you some fabulous Mocktail options for your New Year’s Eve parties

Be sure to check out our ever uberlicious host, Kathy Owen’s Holiday Yum page and leave her some blog hop luv!

Krista Noack’s story

I came across Krista’s story via MADD Canada’s Facebook news feed. I watched the video and was deeply touched and moved by her story. Krista talked briefly about the added impact she felt in losing her boyfriend Jesse to an impaired driver. She had to deal with running into the impaired driver in her everyday life. Imagine having to come face to face with the person that killed your loved one at the grocery store?

In the end, I loved how Krista spoke about not letting Jesse be a statistic and how she’s found solace in getting involved with MADD Canada. I want to say a big thank you to Krista for sharing her story with the world and giving her time to MADD Canada. There is no doubt in my mind that she is saving lives in Jesse’s honor…blessings to her and Jesse’s families!

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How would you handle having to run into the impaired driver that killed your loved one at the grocery store? How do you master forgiveness while in the throes of grief? I’d love to hear your thoughts?

On August 1, 2009, my beautiful mother-in-law’s life was cut tragically short by an impaired driver and my stepson’s life changed forever. In honor of Donna and Jordan Kennie, please don’t drink and drive. Impaired driving is 100% preventable. Think about it.

Support MADD Canada and follow them on Facebook, Twitter (@maddcanada), YouTube, and on the Web.

Text MADD to 45678 to donate $5 today. Report impaired drivers – CALL 911.

More blog deliciousness here:

For the month of November and December, I am proud to be taking part in the Holiday Yum Blog Hop where a group of uber bloggers will regale you with recipes and funny cooking stories.

This week’s highlights:

Already Posted:

Stay tuned for:

  • December 17: I am back with a recipe for Cheesecake that is so simple but even I messed it up once
  • December 19: Jenny Hansen’s Holly Candy
  • December 23: Jess Witkins will entice us with either some comfort food or appetizer
  • December 26: Kathy Owen will come through with beef rib-eye roast with currant jelly brown gravy
  • December 28:  I will give you some fabulous Mocktail options for your New Year’s Eve parties

Be sure to check out our ever uberlicious host, Kathy Owen’s Holiday Yum page and leave her some blog hop luv!

Urban Word Wednesday: Shit or get off the pot

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Shit or get off the pot: Hurry up and make a decision. Usually used when someone is being really indecisive or is taking way to long to do something. Commonly refers to a decision where a commitment is involved.

Examples Of Use:

Hubby and I hit Sears this week to try to find him new winter boots and enjoyed some Urban Word fun with the two sales ladies who were helping us. At this point we had 4 pairs of boots surrounding us.

Hubby: I like these ones and they fit but they feel a little tight on the sides of my feet.

Me: do you want to see if they have them in a wide option?

Hubby: I don’t think I have wide feet though….

Me: well…if they feel tight on the sides, it means they aren’t wide enough…maybe the wide version would be more comfortable?

Hubby: yeah but these ones *grabs boots number 2* fit comfortably and aren’t wide.

Me: well you know…different boots fit differently. If those are more comfortable, why not get those?

Hubby: but I like these ones *looking at boots he’s wearing* better for style.

Me: then get those…maybe they’ll stretch….

Hubby: shit…I don’t know…these ones *picks up boots #3* are nice too…what do you think?

Me: I think you need to shit or get off the pot…we are all turning to stone waiting for you to decide…

Hubby: ok honey darlin’…how many times have I gone shopping with you and watched you try on forty-five outfits humming and hawing over which ones to get…you need to sit down and be supportive…it’s my turn wife!

Metouché my love…you have a point…I’ll shut up. Let’s shop!

Ever had to tell someone to shit or get off the pot? How do you handle indecisive shoppers? Are you an indecisive shopper? Got any fabulous shopping horror stories? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

For the month of November and December, I am proud to be taking part in the Holiday Yum Blog Hop where a group of uber bloggers will regale you with recipes and funny cooking stories.

This week’s highlights:

  • December 10: Kathy Owen’s Butter Spritz Cookies (OMG I want some…especially those Hershey filled ones)
  • December 14: Ellen M. Gregg’s Old-fashioned Buttermilk Sugar Cookies (with Christmas punch)

Already Posted:

Stay tuned for:

  • December 17: I am back with a recipe for Cheesecake that is so simple but even I messed it up once
  • December 19: Jenny Hansen’s Holly Candy
  • December 23: Jess Witkins will entice us with either some comfort food or appetizer
  • December 26: Kathy Owen will come through with beef rib-eye roast with currant jelly brown gravy
  • December 28:  I will give you some fabulous Mocktail options for your New Year’s Eve parties

Be sure to check out our ever uberlicious host, Kathy Owen’s Holiday Yum page and leave her some blog hop luv!

Be the ultimate rock star this Christmas

Air-Guitar-Rock-StarY’all know I’m a closet air guitar player. Ok…so maybe not so “in the closet“! Regardless, let me tell you, no one can rock the air guitar like me. At home, grocery store, work…I’ve been known to break into an air-strumming, arm-swinging air guitar craze. People typically stare mouth-open at my talent…it’s somethin’ to behold.

Anyway…last year, when I found the electric rock guitar shirt, I thought it was the bomb. I knew it would enable me to step up my air guitar game so I could truly become the rock star I was always meant to be.

But now, we’ve blown the electric guitar shirt out of the freaking water….with the gTar.

The gTar is a new digital guitar that allows you to maximize the power of your iPhone (soooo need to get an iPhone now). It’s like a real guitar and a Rock Band/Guitar Hero guitar hooked up for a freaky one night stand and had a baby.

The gTar has strings, frets and everything else that makes a guitar the hardcore rock instrument that it is. But the gTar has something more…something special…it has an APP!

You just dock your iPhone in the gTar, load up the gTar app, pick a song and then you can follow the song on your iPhone while little LEDs light up along the fret board. The fretboard actually illuminates to show you where to put your fingers.

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!

The gTar will make it so that I can start playing songs I already know instead of Twinkle Twinkle. Can you believe it? It’s that freaking simple.

Rockers have a choice of three levels of difficulty: easy, medium, and hard. At the easy level, gTar will guide you to play the open strings and with its SmartPlay Technology, if you hit a wrong string, no sound is produced. At the medium level, gTar adds fretwork to the mix allowing you to feel like the true rock star genius that you are. But there is still no danger of messing up due to the built-in SmartPlay feature…oh yeah….BAM! Now when you get the hard level, you’ll need to step up your guitar-playing game because at this level every mistake (or uber new creation) will be heard. Once you get tired of having your rock star brilliance stifled with specified notes and fretwork, you can switch to free play and really show off your mad skills.

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GlockSince it’s paired up with an iPhone, the gTar is not limited to guitar sounds. WHAT??!?! Yip, you can actually rock out to a grand piano by plucking the notes instead. I wonder if I could channel my old junior high school band days and rock the glock again?! Hmmm…

Made by Incident, a company based in Santa Clara, California, the gTar is initially being sold through a Kickstarter project. Incident asked for US$100,000 to fund the initial production run and has now raised $353,392 with 956 backers. Duh…people know a good thing when they see it. I guess the original backers paid US$350 each to get their hands on the first 200 gTars produced. Now there is a waitlist on the company’s website if you want to sign-up for one. Snifff…I was hoping to pick one up at Future Shop this week but with a possible retail price tag of US$449, I might be waiting awhile.

Regardless, I think the gTar would allow me to fully channel my inner rock star Goddess.

How do channel your rock star God/Goddess? Play any musical instruments? Did it come natural or did you learn after years and years of practice? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

For the month of November and December, I am proud to be taking part in the Holiday Yum Blog Hop where a group of uber bloggers will regale you with recipes and funny cooking stories.

This week’s highlights:

  • December 10: Kathy Owen’s Butter Spritz Cookies (OMG I want some…especially those Hershey filled ones)
  • December 14: Ellen M. Gregg’s Old-fashioned Buttermilk Sugar Cookies (with Christmas punch)

Already Posted:

Stay tuned for:

  • December 17: I am back with a recipe for Cheesecake that is so simple but even I messed it up once
  • December 19: Jenny Hansen’s Holly Candy
  • December 23: Jess Witkins will entice us with either some comfort food or appetizer
  • December 26: Kathy Owen will come through with beef rib-eye roast with currant jelly brown gravy
  • December 28:  I will give you some fabulous Mocktail options for your New Year’s Eve parties

Be sure to check out our ever uberlicious host, Kathy Owen’s Holiday Yum page and leave her some blog hop luv!

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