Urban Word Wednesday: Typerventilating

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Typerventilating: sending messages through instant messaging in rapidly sequential intervals.

Examples Of Use:

If y’all follow me on Facebook (and if you don’t yet…wasssup???) you know hubby and I had a little date night last Thursday night.

Well, to ensure we actually saw the movie and got good seats, we went to an older theatre about 30 minutes away and went an hour+ early. Yeah…we…along with about a hundred+ people…had some time to kill. I got jiggy with my Blackberry.

Hubby: who are you blackberrying with? You are binging and pinging like a rockstar.

Me: you know how it is…I posted the pic of the beautiful bauble you spoiled me with *pauses to admire the sparkle* and now the peeps want the deets???

Hubby: good lord…you are practically typerventilating…aren’t your fingers cramping?

Me: I have 6 conversations on the go at once…no time for cramping! 

Hubby: 6 conversations?!?! I have no idea how you keep it all straight. Only in my dreams could I type that fast…on a regular keyboard let alone my phone…

Me: what can I say…my fans need to know…and I can’t let a fan down…

Hubby: you are a true star….

Me: fabulous…then could you be a peach and run and get me some popcorn…I just got another text and need to give the deets…can’t let a fan down, now can I?!?! 

Hubby: I’d love to…typerventilate away…but when the movie starts and into the night know that your fans will need to wait cause you are mine!

Me: ohhhh…I love it when you get all BRUTE on me…hell yes!! One last message and I am yours…

Ever have some gossip so juicy that you start typerventilating as you relay it to a friend? Or maybe someone ticked you off so badly you just had to typerventilate the story to someone? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

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Urban Word Wednesday: Helicopter

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Helicopter: 1) When you swing your penis around in a circle and make the noise of a helicopter. 2) Sexual act with the female on top. The female does a split and inserts lubed penis into vagina. The male then grabs hold of the female’s legs and spins her around rapidly, similar to that of a helicopter’s blades. Has a high failure rate, roughly 100%.

Examples Of Use:

It all started with August McLaughlin’s post on girl boners on Monday. I read it, loved it, commented and went on my merry way. That is until hubby and I hit the movies. We went to see Flight on Monday evening and went early to ensure we got optimal seats. There we sat munching our popcorn when hubby decides he and I are going to be part of the movie pre-show for all the other early birds.

He pulls out his Galaxy III and reads out loud the following comment fun he had enjoyed on August’s post earlier that day.

Then we proceed to have this conversation.

Me: I cannot believe you mentioned the Helicopter on August’s blog. My god. You know there are probably 18 kinky/nasty things that it means online…good lord, now all the blogosphere is going to think you and I are into even weirder shit than they already do.

Hubby: girl boner in theory is all fine and dandy but I’m sorry…the visual of you growing a wang to suds up in the shower and twirl around and around to do the Helicopter was too much to bare. I lost my shit a little bit.

Me: well duh…I don’t want a physical manifestation either but I think August’s point was more to women’s pleasure being higher on our radar from day 1.

Hubby: and I am all for it…but the term girl boner…I couldn’t get past it.

Me: hopefully Kristy doesn’t think we are into the sexual act of the Helicopter…I mean, who at our age could do the splits and hold the pose while getting turned around on a dick?!? Sounds more like Mission Impossible than the Helicopter to me! We are definitely not into kink like that!  

Hubby: what’s with the “we” shit? I’d totally be into that!

 Me: I bet you would since you wouldn’t the one having to do the splits and get swung around…

Ever seen a version of the Helicopter? Think you’d like a girl boner? Your partner more kinky than you? How do you balance your different needs? Come on…share the wealth…

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