How long should you make a guy wait? The Singles need your advice!

I’ve got a bunch of single gal pals (the Singles) that come to me for relationship advice. I gleefully and enthusiastically deliver all tidbits of advice I have to offer acknowledging that it’s based solely on my personal experience.

In one area, me and the Singles ALWAYS differ!

How long do you wait before going ALL the way?

My advice; 4 to 8 weeks, depending on how quickly the relationship progresses. To be honest, I think the longer you wait, THE BETTER! Now let’s be clear. I am not saying you shouldn’t have any intimate fun…there’s lots of boudoir frolicking that can be had that does not involve going the whole way. I am merely suggesting that you keep things to 1st and 2nd base for while.

The Singles gawk, throw their heads back in disgust and usually look at me like a 3-headed dragon.

We have NEEDS Natalie….” they scream at me.

My response: “do you want to get laid or find a life partner?” because I think the two goals require two totally different approaches.

To back me up, I saw an interview between Dr. Phil and Steve Harvey, comedian and author of Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man and Straight Talk, No Chasers, where Steve suggests women make the men they are dating wait 90 days before they have sex.

The biggest mistake that women make is they find out the information too late. You find out he’s married too late, you find out something’s wrong with him, he’s not really working, he’s not really a committed-type guy,” he says. “You can get this figured out in 90 days if you give yourself a chance, but once you commit yourself physically to a guy, you become emotionally involved, and you try to force it to make it work because ‘I slept with the guy.’ And you end up dragging yourself through the mud with a relationship that you really need to get rid of.

I emailed that little ditty around to all the Singles.

Most of them did not reply. Go figure.

Steve shared his thoughts on his 90-day rule and dating in general on the Ellen show and I gotta say, I was sold on his theory!

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Amen Steve!

To all my Singles out there, here are my final pieces of relationship advice:

  1. Set your BAR sky high!
  2. Shout it from the rooftop! OWN it!
  3. Demand to know his intentions/plans on the first date!
  4. Set a 90-day (or something similar) no-sex rule so he knows you ain’t here to PLAY, you here to PLAN!

If he’s worthy, he’ll stick around!

I know, you are all wondering….do I practice what I preach?!?!

Hubby and I waited 4 weeks from the time we started dating exclusively.

Why didn’t I wait 90 days, which was my rule at the time? There were a couple of factors that I think made the timeline exception warranted.

Relationship intensity was fierce: for hubby and I, 4 weeks together was like 90 days for most. We spent nearly every single day together from the time we met. And it wasn’t all flirting and fun during that time. I took Steve’s advice to heart and grilled hubby extensively (who grilled me right back), we explored the nitty gritty details like our mutual interests, our values, and the kind of relationships/life we wanted with a partner. We were both dead honest with each other from day one. It was intense but it was also as natural as breathing.

And……

Hubby got rave reviews from multiple credible sources: hubby had worked at my then workplaces for years but was gone by the time I was hired. So all of my coworkers (all women – varying ages) had known him for ages. These women didn’t just speak highly of him…they adored, worshipped and loved him. To most, he was like a son to them. In their eyes, I could do no better and they all told me we’d be perfect together.

How right these ladies were!

But I still made him wait 4 weeks! And when we took things to the next level, I knew what I was getting myself into and I knew he was worth it. And vice versa.

So…have y’all got my back? How long do you think the Singles should wait before jumping in the hay with a new man…and why? What’s your best piece of relationship advice? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

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Urban Word Wednesday: Hairitude

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Today’s post was inspired by one of our very own bloggers extraordinaire; the wordsmith Julie Glover who writes Amaze-ing Words Wednesday posts that I never miss. One such Wednesday, I came across a delightful little gem on neologisms (new words) and I knew without a shadow of a doubt, it’d be featured over here where we get a little bit raunchier with our word fun.

Hairitude: A neologism of “hair” + “attitude”. The term can apply to any chick with an out-of-the-box, over-the-top hairdo that communicates an “I am all that” attitude.

Well girl…have I got some hairitude for YOU!

Examples Of Use:

When hubby and I were in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic this year for our vacation, I got braids put into my hair. These totally made the majority of my trip fuss-free and relaxing! I got me plenty of hairitude wearing these bad boys, let me tell ya. Bo Derek eat your heart out.

When we got home, it took hubby and I about 2 hours to take the darn things out. But lord….that amped up my hairitude to a triple z snap!!

Hubby: wowzers, that’s some kind of hair. Grrrr…I actually find it kind of sexy….

Me: GRRROOOWWWWLLLLL I’ll be your lioness tonight love! Let me shake, rattle and roll. I’m gonna do a double back hand spring Gold dismount tonight! Buckle up…the hairitude’s taking over and you are in for the ride of your life!

Hubby: I’m afraid…don’t hurt me!

What’s your fav hairitude style? What hairitude makes you hold your head up high? Any hairitude photos from the 80s to share? You can post pics in the comment section so don’t be shy! Come on…be bold!!

More blog deliciousness here:

  • OMG I near died reading Rant Rave Write’s post about her and her hubby’s top 4 communications tools to avoid mass disasters. Hilarious and I think hubby and I could use a few of these…ok…all of them!
  • LOVED Julie Winn’s post about father’s day cards. I agree Julie, having a selection that goes beyond the lawn mowing and farting talents would be delightful.

Urban Word Wednesday: Clam Burger

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Clam Burger: name given to the vagina as it sometimes resembles a clam in a burger shape.

Examples Of Use:

Hubby and I were at the camp last weekend. On Friday night we watched the movie My Best Friend’s Girl starring Kate Hudson, Dane Cook and Jason Biggs. Hilarious. Definitely rent it if you haven’t seen it before.

That’s where I learned about the clam burger.

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Of course, this prompted hubby to spend the last week parading questions about my clam burger all over town; at the drugstore, grocery shopping, new shirt shopping, at the movies, when we get home, while BBQing….

Hubby: how’s your clam burger today?

Hubby: what’s your clam burger saying today?

Hubby: does your clam burger have a message for me today?

Hubby: is your clam burger going to come out to play tonight?

Hubby: does the little clam burger miss me?

Hubby: can I give your clam burger a little treat tonight?

Hubby: is your clam burger in need of a poke?

Hubby: have you been listening to your clam burger lately?

Trust me. We’ve been raising eyebrows all over town this week! LOL!

Does your partner have any cute nicknames for your clam burger? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

  • ROFL – I have a few people I am totally sending to the Piper Bayard and Holmes’ Camp Cheerful. Oh yes…you know who you are!
  • LOVED Julie Winn’s post on having a meticulous gardener as a neighbor. ROFL!!! I can only imagine!
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