The Beauty of a Young Widow’s Libido #BOAW2018

The-Beauty-of-a-Woman-BlogFest-VII-1-768x768What a treat today folks. A GUEST post! Squeeeeee…This post is part of The Beauty of a Woman BlogFest VII! To read more entries, and potentially win a fun prize, visit the fest page on August’s McLaughlin’s site between today and 11pm PST March 9th.

So please give a warm welcome to the lovely Dee.  Take it away Dee…

When I was widowed in my early(ish) forties, no one told me what would happen to my libido.heart1

I’d been married for over twenty years. We’d had decent sex—he always took care of me before he took care of himself. It was more of a chore for me, honestly, and we never called it making love. (Sad but true.) His unrealistic ideas of sex were fed by his lack of experience before marriage and an addiction to porn. Without going into details, the chore became dread.

After he passed away, I took care of things myself when I felt urges again. If you know what I mean…

heart3Well, things were explosive. What the heck had happened to my body?! I read a few anecdotal stories from other widows online that said the same thing: Not only did they crave sex, they wanted it a lot. They even liked it.

It was strange to think I wanted sex after hating it for so many years, and the thought of entering the dating scene made my skin crawl.

There are so many weird expectations for young widows from society. If we start dating, then it’s “too soon” after the loss of our spouses or we’re supposed to be these stoic live-alone people to honor our husbands forever. The time for overly-conservative Victorian norms for widows is done. Every widowed person should decide for themselves how to grieve and live life and when to date (or not).

When a long-time friend of mine asked me out, I was surprised. I didn’t feel beautiful or lovable or even dateable. It was nice to be asked, and I was very attracted to him. I went out with him. One date at a time. The electricity and chemistry between us was staggering as we fell in love. Strangers complimented us on how adorable we were together. I felt beautiful for the first time in years.heart2

The more time we spent together, the more I knew I wanted to be intimate with him. What if I hated sex? I was nervous, and so he was patient.

We began slowly and took our time. We talked about things we liked and what we wanted to try together. Our explorations have been beautiful and tender and affectionate. I often have multiple orgasms. Intense, mind-numbing, gorgeous orgasms.

Love making. Making love. Those phrases accurately describe our experiences together. I finally understand the meaning and don’t feel awkward saying them.

heart3I’m so happy that I opened myself up to experience love again. Our relationship is beautifully based on our long friendship, and our intimacy reflects how much we love each other.

Widowhood is different for every woman, depending on so many factors. If you’re a widow, allow yourself to make your own path on your own time. Don’t be afraid to fall in love again if that’s something you want. If you’re not a widow, allow widows you know to live life without judgment.

Dee is the author at, which she started as a way to share that not every widow misses her former life. And, in some cases, she might be relieved to escape an abusive situation. While she still grieves the man he became on his deathbed, her marriage ended the moment he passed away. She is free to be herself and not someone he’d tried to force her to be. She loves her kids, her boyfriend, her dogs, and laughter.

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