Urban Word Wednesday: Ugly Naked

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Ugly Naked (by hubby): When doing some sort of activity naked that makes you body look less attractive than it really is; the opposite of good naked.

Examples Of Use:

Hubby and I went to see Sinister (how they got me in the theater is beyond me) with our friends Laura and J-Dog on the weekend. I am taking Death by Hip Hop with Laura on Tuesday nights. We were sitting in a packed theatre when we (and the guests around us) rolled with laughter over this convo.

Me: Laura, have you showed Jeremy our dance yet?

Laura: not on your life…why…have you?

Me: yip, last Tuesday night when we got home. It was kind of slow motion cause I kept forgetting the moves but he got the drift….and I just happened to be heading for my bath so I did it naked.

*Laura and J-Dog burst out laughing*

Laura: shut up?!?! Naked?!?!

Me: Oh yes…brave aren’t I? Everything was jiggling and wiggling. I think it added to the “gangstanest” of the performance.

Hubby: she’s something else guys. All I gotta say is there is good naked and ugly naked…and unfortunately slow motion Hip Hop falls into ugly naked.

Me: in my defence, I think music would have made all the difference.

Hubby: sad to say but I think naked Hip Hop is just ugly naked my love.

Me: you’re probably right…everything felt unsupported and I just couldn’t seem to tap into my inner dancer. Try going “deep” in the knee bends when you know you’re giving your man a full monty, IYKWIM?!! I just felt…so exposed! Then all that hopping…ewwwww…

Laura: after we’ve learned the entire dance, we’ll give the boys a show with music…and clothes!

Ever seen ugly naked? Ever do some ugly naked dance moves? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

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Comments

  1. Ha ha.
    When I heard the words, “Ugly Naked”, I thought of the TV show, Friends and the poor, Ugly Naked guy living across from Monica’s and Rachel’s apartment.

  2. Hon, I see Ugly Naked, every morning in the mirror. It’s not for the fainthearted.
    There is no pride in aging…

  3. prudencemacleod says:

    Yep, I see enough ugly naked every time the guy down the road bends over to pull weeds from the lawn. I mean, it’s just darn hard on the eyes, not to mention the mind of a poor old woman not accustomed to such unladylike things… what’s that? A bit thick? Maybe, but it’s better than confessing you come out of the shower with your eyes shut… dang… didn’t mean to admit that…

  4. Around here, we call that an “Ahh! My eyes!” moment. Which I just had, because I’m a writer with waayyy too much imagination, LOL. Maybe belly dancing naked would work better.

    Love your “down-to-earth” posts, Nat! You and Scott are the funnest peeps, ever! 😀

    • Hahaha!! Definitely one of those moments Kathy! I think naked belly dancing would go over substantially better! Gonna have to connect with our fav belly dancing expert, Piper for some tips and tricks!

      We definitely like to laugh!! 🙂

  5. LOL! I’m with Kathy. You must be the best pair to hang out with. I also agree with you. Music could be the deal maker!

  6. KA-SHNORT! [and, BEN-WAhahaha!]

    This Urban Wednesday conversation is different than most. Why? Because it was PG13 in the context of the conversation, but howling hilarious when I get the visual you describe.

    ERK! Not that I’m picturing YOU (as in Natalie YOU) naked. It’s the visual of anyone demonstrating novice practiced hip-hop skills naked and in slow motion. My ego couldn’t take doing that when I’m alone, for crumb’s sake. I’d have to take my Louisville Slugger to every mirror in the house.

    Even my (since abandoned) coffee-grounds-and-seaweed-butt-dimple curatives were only applied when the hubster was gone.

    I suppose I could bring my 10 per potty visit butt squats out of the SBUX ladies room. But, I won’t.

    Off now to see what naked butt squats look like in front of a mirror. Don’t ask for pics. Send a baseball bat.

    Up next today? A call to the customer service line at KegelMaster. There were many unanswered questions in comments. I’m curious how Customer Service handles calls from someone pretending to be clueless and middle-aged. It’s for my book. A character in my book. Really.

    • OMG, Gloria! Love to be a fly on the wall during your Customer Service conversation! Have fun with your research! 😀

      • You started this whole thing with your bladder diary comment, KB. When I got your permission to steal your idea about a character with a diary, one wonky thought led to another and I decided to have my character purchase one — after a call to the Customer Service Line.

        My genre, you ask?

        Why — literary, of course., and focused on critical social issues.

    • ROFL!!! Gloria, your comments leave me in stitches…LOVE it!! 🙂

      This experience has caused me to question all naked stances…

      You must do a blog post about THAT conversation!!! LOL!!!

      • That’s the plan, Natalie. A blog post with Q&A. My list of questions is ready to rock.

        Now, I need privacy to make that call. Middle of STARBUCKS is not a great spot.

        [*thunks head*]

        Duh! I forgot who was the recipient of this comment. Add “for me!” to the end of that last sentence. Now, if you and Scott would fly to Texas to help, I might reconsider. Just sayin’…

  7. Ooh, I totally want to see Sinister. I love creepy movies, as long as they aren’t full of stupid gore. And when I heard ugly naked, I thought of myself, lol. But now I have a whole new image in mind – thanks! 😉

  8. Funny! Line dancing could be interesting!

  9. Okay, I have seen ugly naked. I was visiting my daughter in NY and we went out to Long Island and stumbled onto a nude beach. It was cold, they were all old, so yeah, it was bad. LOL! Later, we when we were driving, I saw a sign that read Sag Harbor and I asked them, “Weren’t we just there?”

    • ROFLMAO!!! SAG HARBOR?!?! And just after the nude beach…my god, life doesn’t get any more perfect than that…

      Pauline, you totally experience ugly naked up close and personal. MY EYES!!!! MY EYES!!! LOL!!!

      • Sometimes the truth is better than fiction! LOLOL! What was so funny is that we started kind of far away and at first, I wondered why they all had on the same color of swim suit. Then it sort of dawned on me…well, yeah. Let’s just say gravity was not their friend, nor was the chill. LOLOL!

        • I read this to hubby in the car and he HOWLED!!! You are right, some times truth is stranger and funnier than fiction. LOL!!

          Same color suit…O.M.G. SURPRISE!!! LOL!!!

  10. Well I participate in zumba twice a week (not the kind of zumba they do in Maine either) but I definitely would not want to experience that activity in the raw. That would be ugly naked.

    I have seen some near naked that goes way beyond ugly at our local Wal-Mart “IFKWIM.” Why, oh why, must every weird-o in the world visit Wal-Mart wearing their weirdest – oh let’s call them clothes for lack of a better term? There’s a new urban word Wednesday challenge for you. Invent a word for the disgusting attire people wear, or almost wear, to Wal-Mart. What is it with Wal-Mart?

    Love the conversations you have. Keep ’em coming.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    • I have done Zumba a time or two myself and I agree..that’d definitely be ugly naked. LOL!!

      Well now. Hubby and I find Wal-Mart (and now Costco as well) to be “the” place to hit on a Friday or Saturday night for some fabulous free freak show fun. We grab popcorn, chips or snacks along with a beverage and stroll the aisles howling. We even put stuff in our cart so people think we are shopping but really we are entertaining ourselves. We try not to POINT and laugh but I’ll admit…we are douche bags and sometimes the insanity of it gets the better of us and there we are…pointing and laughing. Oops…did we hurt your feelings? Duck into aisle.

      LOVE the UWW challenge. Hubby and I shall set out on the hunt and will try it out in real-life to make sure it’s truly appropriate! BAM!

      Stay tuned…

  11. Do your friends often say, “We can’t go anywhere with Natalie and her husband”? LOL. Y’all crack me up! (No pun originally intended, but I can think of some crack moments that would qualify as “ugly naked.”)

    • Some definitely duck and hide or blush…others join right in! All of our friends know when they hang with us that we can happen to turn it “on” at any time. It’s the risk they take to hang with us. Personally, I think it’s like free entertainment so why not?! LOL! The family says they purposely invite us to stuff cause they KNOW we’ll entertain the crew! LOL!!

      Oh gosh….I know exactly what you mean about those “crack moments”! 🙂

  12. that’s an image I really didn’t need Natalie. It is permanently ingraned on my brain. god help me.

  13. LOVE it!!! I used to do naked dancing….now? Not so much. Maybe I have to get back to that…

    The Noa Gavin post freaking slayed me. That’s dysfunction at it’s best. Thanks for the linky love. MUAH!! 🙂

    • I think you should give it a try and let us know what hubby thinks…did it make him…ummm…”happy”??? LOL!!!

      I KNOW…OMG. What was funniest was I could totally see hubby and I engaged in the same convo. LOL!!!

      My pleasure – hope you are feeling better darlin’!! MUAH!

  14. I’m afraid to think what you might come up with next! Naked dancing – well, not since I had to give away my heels. Just didn’t seem right any longer!

  15. Ugly naked? Yeah. I’m familiar with it. It’s actually hiding under my clothes. Workin’ on it though. Of course I can’t ever see me dancing naked…unless there were BIG bucks involved (and I mean LOTS of money)…and I could do it in a private room with zero witnesses or cameras. It would have to be an ‘on my honor’ kind of thing.

    You seriously need to get some sort of James Bond camera, then set up a private YouTube channel and invite all of us to watch your videos. Um…of reactions of people around you when you have these conversations…not of you showing Scott your naked hip hop dances. 🙂

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