Jenny Hansen Introduces the Bladder Dominatrix!

By Jenny Hansen

Hey, y’all!! How fun to come romp over here at Nat’s place…she’s got the place decorated just how I like it, all pink and dazzly. Natalie is hanging out at More Cowbell today for Techie Tuesday while I twist things up over here.

You see, I found this product. And it looks VERY naughty.

It was Gloria Richard that sent me on the hunt for “Ben Kegel…” (And we all know that Gloria is more than a little wild. Click here to see an example that includes coffee grounds and Saran Wrap.)

It all started with this exchange in the comments of my Crazy Books post, Coping With A Small Um…:

Well, I DIDN’T find Gloria’s Ben Kegel but Holy Mother of GOD, I found THIS and decided it was perfect for Nat’s Twisted Tuesday.

Behold, The Bladder Dominatrix (aka The Kegelmaster)! That’s a name that conjures up whips and chains, no?

Oh, they say it’s for your bladder, but that’s not what it looks like to me! I’ve been to a bridal shower or two in my time and the above looks distinctly like the “fun kits” that are made for the bedroom. I’m just sayin…

But the part that slayed me is the verbiage when you get to the “Advanced” model. To be honest, these people are scaring me with the Advanced, Deluxe and ULTIMATE labels.

+64 Advanced levels??? WTH?!?

Um…how do I say this without giving y’all TMI? OK, there simply is no way. Plus, we’re at Natalie’s place where I can say anything

Writers aren’t known for being the most coordinated bunch. I have visions of the +64 “Advanced” levels either knocking me off the bed or making me pee myself. Neither image makes me feel warm or fuzzy toward the Bladder Dominatrix.

I just don’t know that I’m ready to undertake “resistance exercise” for the vagina. I mean, I’m already killing myself with Crossfit and one new exercise program a year is enough for me.

Note: Teri Hatcher from Desperate Housewives swears by it, saying she’s “got the strongest Kitty Cat in town” but I still have my doubts.

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Does the nation’s fitness craze really need to extend to our hoohahs? Since when are sex and normal kegels not enough?? What do y’all think?

To exercise the vajayjay or NOT to exercise the vajayjay? That is the +64 Advanced Level question.

About Jenny Hansen

Jenny fills her nights with humor: writing memoir, women’s fiction, chick lit, short stories (and chasing after the newly walking Baby Girl). By day, she provides training and social media marketing for an accounting firm. After 15 years as a corporate software trainer, she’s digging this sit down and write thing.

When she’s not at her blog, More Cowbell, Jenny can be found on Twitter at jhansenwrites and here at Writers In The Storm. Every Saturday, she writes the Risky Baby Business posts at More Cowbell, a series that focuses on babies, new parents and high-risk pregnancy.

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