Urban Word Wednesday: Pudge and a few of its dirty relatives

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Pudge: Belly fat; the fat over your abs. For an extreme amount of pudge, more u’s can be added for emphasis (puuuuuuudge).

You haven’t been around the block till y’a met pudge’s dirty cousin (she’s totally into women); Pussy Fat: The fat surrounding the pussy. And her super raunchy auntie (she comes by it honestly…and the two go everywhere together…total ho’s!); Gunt: A protruding sack of fat which extends from the lower abdomen to the upper genital area (gut+cunt=gunt).

Examples Of Use:

I started a Hip Hop dance class this week. Kill me now. After I staggered home hardly able to walk, I headed straight to the bathtub for a soak in Epsom salts where hubby and I had the following discussion as I was drying off; much to our own private delight. Enjoy the peak into our fabulous insanity.

Me: this aging thing is for the birds. I’ve noticed that even my feet are starting to wrinkle. And don’t even get me started on this new piece of pussy fat. What in God’s name is that?

Hubby: pussy fat…where?

*I demo by grabbing the new slightly fleshy part above my hooha*

Hubby: So what?! You’ve got a little gunt. No big deal.

Me: WHAT?!?! I HAVE A GUNT?!?!

Hubby: it’s tiny…seriously! To be honest, it’s more like a wee bit of pudge. You are just a bit pudgy.

Me: OMG I have a gunt…I can’t believe it. I wonder if there are any exercises I can do to flatten it. I don’t mind a little belly fat but there’s no way I can tolerate a gunt. This has gone too far.

Hubby: honey, seriously…I should have never used the G-word. You are ok…relax…you do not have a gunt! And even if you did, it’d be the sexiest little gunt around.

 Me: I’m gonna need more than Hip Hop to fix this.

Ok people, I need some lower abdomen work out tips and tricks. Gotta flatten and tone the gunt before it gets out of control…Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

  • Got a great kick out of Leanne Shirtliffe’s post on flea market vocabulary…cause I could totally see my hubby in his place. LOL!
  • JUST about peed myself laughing so hard when I read Noa’s post are you a strong lady or just an enormous asshole? OMG! I am totally forwarding that around. I know some gals that need this as a benchmark! Myself included.
  • Funniest. Blog Post. EVER! Tameri Etherton had the strangest massage and had us all in tears laughing about it. Join in.
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Comments

  1. KA-SNORT!

    Gunt? WThell is the “official name” for the combination of two words to form a new one? Oh! Oh! Got it. It’s a portmanteau.

    Blubby (Portmanteau for blathering hubby) had it right. I’m certain it’s the cutest Gunt EVER!

    And, Hip-Hop classes? How insane cool is that? Once again, I want to be your next door neighbor. I would so love to try hip-hop. Kick-boxing is killing me. But, the fact that I’m taking the classes is making The Hubster think twice before he speaks.

    May be worth the pain after all! YOU GO, GIRL!

    Remember, it’s not how we look on the outside. It’s how we live on the inside that counts. Which makes you a BEA-U-U-U-U-TY QUEEN. Wear your tiara to the next class.

    • Oh! Failed to notice your plea for tips.

      Google is my friend and foe. Google is where I found exercises for lower abs and for butt dimples.

      The foe part comes into play on the search source that compelled me to rub used coffee grounds on said butt dimples, then apply Saran Wrap and use a rolling pin to smooth the impacted area. It did not work. It made a mess.

      Send me an email if you want the Intel on what I found. I can resurrect the links.

      • O.M.G!!!

        Coffee grounds, Saran Wrap and a rolling pin…OUCH and that totally spelled disaster. LOL!! Oh girl…I just adore you and thrilled that you are out there paving the way for the rest of us. Woot woot!

    • Blubby…LOL!! Love it!!! Great portmanteau Gloria.

      Yip, Hip Hop. One of my BFFs found the class and I am super pumped. Although near died, I loved it. And I will DEFINITELY wear my tiara next time. LOL!!!

      Kickboxing…wowzers!!! Look at YOU GO girl! 🙂

    • Gloria made me freaking spit tea on my keyboard! It was the portmanteau that did it. Blubby…. BAHAHAHAHA!!!

  2. I kept getting emails about fixing the muffin top and thought, what’s what? Then, well…I found out. LOLOL!

  3. Holy cats! I don’t even want to think about your gunt, but now I can’t stop thinking about it! Natalie’s gunt and I were out having tea the other day and you’ll never guess what it said to me… I’ve now seriously got those kinds of thoughts in my mind. Like, your gunt is an actual person and everything. That’s it, you’ve successfully invaded my mind and made me more crazy than I was before. I do not need to have gunt issues, I have enough psychosis on my own, thank you very much.

    I do, however, need to read Noa’s post. I’ve been wondering that about myself lately…

    Thanks for the shout out to my sadistic post. Maybe massage can help relieve your gunt?

    • ROFL!!! Oh Tameri, I love you!! Sorry to have infused my gunt on you. Dang. Who knew it’d become an entire entity. Perhaps I should nickname it so we can talk about it like it’s a third person. LOL!!!

      How did you do on Noa’s quiz??? LOL!!!

      Yes, combined with Glorias coffee grounds, Saran Wrap and rolling pin procedure, I’d be all set then! LMAO!!!

      • I was even talking about your gunt last night to one of my classmates. She thought the name was hysterical and promised to check out your blog. To which I had to promise not to give her name, *cough* Andrea *cough, cough*. So, if we see a random comment from someone who may or may not be named Andrea, let’s give her a warm gunt welcome, shall we?

        • HAHAHA!! LOVE it…and Andrea…OH ANDREA?!?!? If you are reading, WELCOME!! Be sure to comment so we can welcome you to the craziness personally…LOL!!!!
          Here’s to gunt luv….LOL!!!

    • I think your gunt should DEFINITELY have a name. In fact, I might have to name mine. We can be twinsies. ROFL.

  4. I have this…kind of a…a slide show running through my mind right now. Funny thing is, it’s not starring Robert Downey Jr. or Chris Hemsworth. The Avengers. I need to go to the store and buy The Avengers. 🙂

    Hubby…Hubby can you hear me? You need to eliminate ‘gunt’ from your vocabulary, okay? Or at least ban its use when you’re within a fifty foot radius of Natalie. 😉

  5. Natalie – This is serious businesss and it doesn’t get better as you age–remember that nasty word gravity – yep – you must get rid of the excess or gravity takes over and then – well – lets just say it’s not a pretty sight.

    • DAMN….really?!?! Blasted gravity…I am in deep dog dodo. Must. Keep. HipHoping! Will get back on Bowflex ab work out as well. God only knows what’s going to happen to my winged-arms. I shudder to think…LOL!!!

  6. Elena Aitken says:

    Oh MY GOD!
    The G-Word. I can’t deal. I hate that word. Like really hate it. Like…EWW.

    And seriously, I can’t imagine that you would ever have any of that…

    Okay, really…now I can’t get that word out of my head. It’s on a continual loop.

  7. Kristal Hollis says:

    I’m closing my eyes when I towel off tonight and not allowing hubby in the bathroom until I’ve donned my nightgown. I might have some pudge, but I don’t want to know about the gunt. Snort;.

  8. Hubby aka Blog Heckler says:

    If you guys can’t handle a little gunt…I won’t bother talking about what I got going on down there….cause that would just scare the bathtub jesus right outta ya’s

  9. a gunt? OMG

  10. Karen McFarland says:

    If “Death by Swimming” wasn’t enough, now you’re Hip Hop dancing? You are a glutton for punishment Natalie! LOL, a gunt? Ah yes, isn’t gravity our friend as we grow older? Not to worry our dear friend. I think you’re in good company Natalie! 🙂

    • I know…I am! Although I enjoy both, they HURT! Seriously, this getting out of shape was WAY funner than trying to get back into shape.

      Gravity is SO not my friend. I hate the bitch. LOL!!!

      That I am my friend…a blessing! 🙂

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