Hubby’s Corner: the performance review

A performance review can be a great tool for an organization to evaluate an employee’s performance; be it good or bad.  It’s a great tool to communicate expectations and goals and share a two-way feedback that may not be communicated on a daily basis. I recently received my annual performance review and being a supervisor, I also had to deliver several performance reviews.

As I was preparing one of the performance reviews this week, it dawned on me. I wondered why people do not use performance reviews in their marriages and/or relationships? I think all of our relationships could benefit from well-defined goals and expectations and feedback. Each person in the relationship would know if their partner rates them to be exceeding expectations or continuously delivering at unsatisfactory levels. I think this would quickly thin out the herd and leave only the quality performers to make the cut and the others would either work on their weaknesses or be escorted to the door as they quit or fired.

I sat back in my chair, internally chuckling as I fantasized about delivering performance reviews to my friends, family and Natalie. I laughed even harder when I role played the exchange and feedback I might receive as a friend, relative, father or husband.

How many relationships are on cruise control where one side is not happy with something the other has done, said, or is not doing or saying?

I think everyone thinks they are doing a great job from their own mind’s eye but have you ever stopped to pull on the spectacles of the other person in this relationship?

I challenge you to stop and give the people in your life a performance review – let them know what you value, appreciate, and commend them on things you may just take for granted that they bring to your life. Take the opportunity to let them know what you are looking for from them. Then ask that person to give some honest feedback on how you might improve as a friend, relative, husband, etc.

Maybe if Harold had an annual performance review he wouldn’t feel this way about his marriage:


Natalie and I give very regular feedback to one another, both serious and humorous, on what we expect for respect, loyalty, involvement, goals and dreams. And so far we both seem happy with our performance review. Neither of us has had to deliver the bad news…

Do you give and take annual performance reviews in your relationships? How do you think you rank? Come on…share the wealth….

More blog deliciousness here:



  1. prudencemacleod says:

    Love it. Oh, Walter is one of my favorites and I often quote him in my day to day. Great choice. This one earns you three bonus points. 🙂

  2. I would reblog you again, but it might be too much for your ego to handle with humility and grace. Besides, I hear those cartwheels on the last one nearly did you in.

    You get an EXCEPTIONAL on your blog articles.

    When it comes to Performance Evaluations by friends, family, and *shudder* husband/wife? Um. No. Not so much.

    I don’t want to mar all those years in Corporate America with annual reviews of Exceeds Expectations.

    Think The Christmas Story: “You’ll shoot your eye out!”

    • Hubby aka The Blog Heckler says:

      Nothing does this Bad Hubby in! I can take it!!!
      Thanks for the “exceptional” review Gloria – your commenting skills have exceeded my expections a time or two as well.

  3. Well said, Natalie’s Hubby!!! Well said!!!! My hubby and I have said that couples might consider on their anniversary (or at least once a year) renewing their vows and asking if each thinks they are living up to them. Also to discuss what is working and what isn’t; if they are reading off the same page (so to speak); and if their goals, etc., have changed. Communication is the key!
    And if all else fails, there is what we refer to as “sh#t-faced counselling”. Happened by accident one evening, but it worked. But the key to having a few and being honest is to keep it calm, non-accusing, and even a little humourous!
    Thanks for sharing this gem, Mr. Hubby!

    • Hubby aka The Blog Heckler says:

      SH!T faced counselling is quite lovely as long as you’re both not in the “I love you man” stage! haha!

  4. Aww, you are such an amazing guy! Communication is the single most important aspect of a marriage. For any relationship, really. The Hubs and i are always giving and receiving feedback (performance evals, if you will). That way we know if we’re on the same page or not. It took some time to figure out how to do it without squashing egos, but it’s the best thing ever! Thank you so much for the linky love.

    For your performance? I give you an A+ with Outstanding work ethic. 😉

    • Hubby aka The Blog Heckler says:

      “giving and receiving” feedback works well (followed by the elusive Canadian) eh?
      I have no doubt – I must go now – Natalie says I have to exercise for some photo shoot for August hee hee!

  5. Interesting concept, Hubby. However, in imagining reactions to performance reviews I might give out, I found myself being slapped upside the head a few times…by more than one person in my life. Of course I was imagining being 100% honest with the people who annoy me (and it was a LOT of fun!).

    That said, for people you actually care about, I love your idea! I think it would be a great way to improve most of the relationships in our lives. 🙂

    • Hubby aka The Blog Heckler says:

      The key to avoid the (most certain) bitch slappin’ is to let the other person go first! and wear lots of rings! haha I must agree it was quite hilarious role playing out both sides of the conversation.

  6. What a concept! Also, it should probably be done before anyone’s bags have been packed for them. I’m a supervisor too, and am in the process of writing 2 evaluations — if there were problems we would have a “coaching” session first.

    The only problem I see with this is one person wanting the other person to not be themselves — so as long as we can work at being the best partner we can be, while still holding on to ourselves than it’s golden.

    • Hubby aka The Blog Heckler says:

      coaching – hahaha – I get alot of that – must be a indicator of some sort! But we’ll skim over that section of the review!

  7. My mom used to joke about whether she was going to renew my husband’s marriage contract with her daughter; he always got a thumbs-up from her, though. There is something to be said for asking, “How are we doing? How am I doing?” Some years, even I would agree I had substantial room for improvement. (Note: My hubby did NOT marry me for domestic diva skills.) Love this post! Keep ’em comin’. And thanks for the shout-out!

    • Hubby aka The Blog Heckler says:

      Julie turn around (watch your paddle) and wave at Nat she’s sitting right behind you in the “lacking domestic diva skills” boat!

      Royalty rarely get their hands dirty – that’s where Hubby’s come in – to get dirty deeds done cheap! ROFL!

  8. Karen McFarland says:

    A performance review for a marriage is an interesting prospect “Hubby.” Actually, I think it’s an awesome idea. How many relationships/marriages would be saved it couples took the time to review their actions together. But, that would also take maturity. On an individual basis, each person in the relationship would need to have the humility to look at themselves and be willing to make the neccessary adjustments in order to make improvements if required. I think it’s a doable concept! 🙂

  9. Natalie's Hubby says:

    Thanks for another great Hubby’s Corner!

  10. As funny a topic as performance reviews can be when coming out of Hubby’s creative mind, he’s right about performance reviews, however informal, being important in marriage. Maybe it’s just easy for us because we’re so perfect…for each other. 😉 Honestly, we show each other appreciation everyday and we have learned what isn’t worth fretting over. I think in the 4 years we’ve been together, we may have had one argument that was really just a misunderstanding. Some marriages would be over before they began if performance reviews were LAW!

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