A writing space that will set your muse on fire!

All too often I hear the super sad tale of fellow writers not having their own office space in which to write. A couple of kids and BAM, there goes your writing room. Bestselling authors and potential bestselling authors being relegated to writing at the kitchen table, the island, or worse yet, the couch. Trying to tune out hubby’s fifty zillion questions “what’s that…what are you writing…who’s that for…what channel is that news program on…what good shows did Tiffany and Amber just review…where did my socks go???

Oh I know all about it.

Or how about the kids? “Mom I’m hungry, Mom Billy hit me, Mom I need to pee, Mom I just peed myself…” The list goes on and on.

Without a room or a dedicated writing space to close off the world and get some quiet or crank up your latest book’s playlist, how’s a successful author to concentrate? I mean…you are doing this for your family for land’s sake?!?! Don’t they understand? You are the next BESTSELLER. On the cusp of millions of dollars, movie deals, book signings…if only you had a proper writing space to make it all happen, right?! Well…something like that anyway.

And typing at the kitchen table or on the couch…no no no! If you want a 20-year writing career, you can’t be risking carpel tunnel with insufficient or improper wrist and finger support. I mean…these are your money makers people. You need to treat em’ right.

As always, have I got the solution for you!

Meet the Emperor 1520 and its big sister, the Emperor 200.

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O.M.G (and not Jenny’s new OMG definition either – this is for the ol’ Oh MY GOD one we all know and love – Jenny you are such a perv – I love it) now that’s what I am talking about!!!

For a measly $6200 US (I know this might seem like a lot right off the bat but THINK about your lifelong earning potential as a successful author. I mean…a couple of books and this bad boy is paid for – it’s an INVESTMENT people), you can get yourself the all-encompassing, self-contained Emperor 1520 home office.

Hand built in Canada (and you know we Canadians build good shit), it boasts a comfy, immersive and aesthetically unique environment for the long hours you are going to spend as an aspiring author on your way to uber success in the literary world.

It comes with tilt (and you thought that was just for your car…hah!), an integrated audio system (cause you are going to need to wear headphones if you put this in the living room – gotta tune out your partner and the kiddies when you are working on makin’ the moolah), LED lighting, and strategically positioned monitors (not included) and accessories. Not to mention, it’s ergonomically optimized, a must-have in today’s successful author’s writing room.

Just think about how much your imagination will soar, characters will come alive and plots will thicken when you feel like you are powering a small air craft in your KITCHEN no less??!? I mean, if you are going to write about spaceships and other worlds, why not feel like you are IN one. Talk about an immersive creative experience. This thing breathes inspiration, ingenuity, and originality. It’s gonna lite a spark in your muse’s ass! You’ll be on FIRE!

But wait. Maybe this isn’t enough? Maybe this isn’t technie enough for you? Maybe you feel like I’ve dropped the bar? Maybe you want more…more comfort…more high-end…more gadgetry…your muse DEMANDS it! Your muse is a diva and the diva demands LUXURY. I know all about it people – got me one at home.

Well hold onto your panties and strap on your jock strap…meet the Emperor 200. Don’t let the small number fool you, for a mere $49,150 US (I’ll admit, you’ll have to write and sell quite a few books to have this one pay for itself) you too can have yourself the ultimate computer workstation. Or as I like to call it, Author Only Area (you’ve heard of Area 51, the most famous secret military installation in the world…well like that but for Authors!)

It has features like a TOUCH SCREEN CONTROL CENTER (it’ll be like flying the Starship Enterprise people), air filtering system (gotta put your health first), light therapy (really get your muse working overtime), electric powered leather seats (beam me up Scottie) and up to three 27” LED screens and a blow-the-lid-off-your-ears Bose sound system. The website says “be bold and unique” – no shit!

I think they should change it to “make your muse your bitch”.

With the Emperor 200, no more waiting around to see if Miss Muse shows up for work today or if she’s in any kind of a mood to give you the good stuff. Nuh-uh, no way, I don’t think so HO! Miss M will be to work, on time, dressed to kill, and ready to deliver you the bomb of all writing. This shit’s gonna make you weep it’ll be so good.

What’s your writing space look like? What spaces fire up your muse? Come on…share the wealth…

It’s Twisted Tuesday and that means it’s time to enjoy a smile, giggle or laugh…here’s hoping I’ve provided it in spades…enjoy!

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  1. and where would we put this contraption? lol

  2. Make it so. (I had to channel Captain Picard on that one.) I just have one question for you, Natalie: If you pay $49k for that Emperor thingamabob, does it come in PINK?! It better!!! And here I was contemplating a work gazebo like Neil Gaiman’s and sweating over the cost of a few thousand bucks for that baby.

    • Ohhhhh “make it so”!! LOVE that! WAHAHAHA!

      I agree, if I fork out $50k, it best come in pink and BeDazzled! Amen sista! 🙂

      OMG Neal’s work gazebo is gorgeous and yeah, for a few thousand, it’s a steal of a deal compared to the Emperor. I mean…if you present this to hubby as “I need either a Neal gazebo or an Emperor,” it’s a total win-win! LOL!

  3. That is so BADASS. Sure beats locking myself in the bathroom and writing in the dry tub ’cause that’s the only place in the house that’s quiet (true story)!

  4. Holy moley, Natalie, this looks like something that belongs on the space station! I love that they remembered to include the cup holder, LOL! If I got this, I would be BESIEGED by my boys, wanting to use it.

    Maybe when I sell my first million books, haha. 😉

    • I hear ya girl, hubby would totally want to TAKE over my writing space if this is what I had. LOL!

      Amen to a little splurge after selling your first million…woot woot! LOL!!

  5. I LOVE it! What a work station! Woo!
    I have so many places to choose from, but the Colorado sunshine is so bright and we have so many windows that I end up typing at my kitchen counter. I need to get me one of them!

  6. Oh yeah, it wouldn’t be a peaceful, quiet writing station for those with kids at home. They’d be fighting to use it for their video games! I’m fortunate to have no kids living at home and to live in a big house, right now. I have a large room off my bedroom with space for bookshelves, a desk, side table, storage units (for all my pens, paper and moleskins-lol), a recliner and a big TV armoir in case I just want to read or use my walking DVD. AND it has doors to close! I love it! It’s my cave. Now I’m going to Writers in the Storm and your other links to have some writerly fun! Thanks, Natalie!

    • True, it might be tricky with children…hmmm…caution tape or locked entry system would definitely help.
      Marcia, your writing room sounds delicious! OMG! Beautiful. You should take some pics and do a post sometime – I’d love to see it. 🙂

  7. amyskennedy says:

    It’s the Mother Ship! Or the mother’s ship, I like that — I would totally feel like the goddess of the world in one of those — although, I tend to wander around when I write, I pop up out of my chair to mind-map something on the white board that’s bothering me, or I roll mmy chair around the office like a little kid. Still, I want one of those…

    • Wonder around when you write. Amazing! LOL!!
      So what you are saying is you’d need one that was MOBILE!! Put a few wheels and steering wheeling and wonder away in the mother ship! LOL!!!

  8. Damn! $$ aside, if I got that thing I’d never want to leave it and my arse would be as big as the space station!!

    :sticks tongue out at Marcia: Rub it in why don’t you!

  9. Elena Aitken says:

    That is a super bad ass workstation. My favorite lines….
    “Hand built in Canada (and you know we Canadians build good shit)”
    Not to be trumped by…“make your muse your bitch”.

    Laughing SO hard right now!

  10. they need to make it pink and pretty it up so it doesn’t look like a dentist chair. LOL!

  11. Wow, that is some space! I’ve tried writing at desks, but it never works. My “office” usually takes the form of the soft, kitchen table or outdoors. I would kinda’ like a massage chair, but not sure how much craft I’d delve into. LOL Great stuff, Natalie!

  12. At first I thought you were joking with the price and all, but I’ve come to realize that with book sales this year I could probably buy one in…2054.

  13. My first thought was Tony Stark (I’d love a computer like he has in Iron Man/The Avengers!). But this thing… Hmm. If I kicked back to write in something that looks as comfortable as that chair, I’d spend more time napping than writing. I suppose I’ll just have to stay with my non-bathtub office. And look into that gazebo (as long as it’s screened in so I don’t have to worry about bugs. 🙂

    • I KNOW, eh?!? Soooo Tony Stark and I agree, his computer rocked hard! Ahhhh to be a zillionaire!! LOL!!
      I am with ya Kristy, I’ll have to stick with my non-bathtub office as well. But at least we’ll be awake and productive. LOL!!

  14. I love it! I know, I am a total geek. 🙂

  15. No thanks! I love taking my laptop and making the world my writing room! Hmmm – $49k could buy s***load of airline tickets …
    No matter what, as always, you had me laughing from start to finish!

    • Oh Patricia, very nice. Making the world your writing room. I love that. Beautiful outlook and I agree, with $49K you could visit a LOT of places! Squeeee…
      So happy I put a smile on your face….

  16. imogenenix says:

    Thanks for this. It has just made my shopping list… somewhere near the top after a pair of Christian Laboutin shoes and an emerald bracelet. Have to have the priorities in order first. 🙂

  17. Ryan King says:

    I want that sooooo bad + noise canceling stereo headphones.

  18. asraidevin says:

    My first thought upon reading the description “self-contained workstation” was that might be useful. But oh my … there just are no words. Mostly because it’s past my bedtime.

  19. Karen McFarland says:

    Very space age techie author awesomesauce!!! But I think it’s cheaper to add on a new room! LOL!

  20. Wow–can you get coffee in that thing? I’m a coffee shop writer!

    And come by the blog this week. You won Anne’s book!

    • Ohhhh…an installed coffee maker would be a must-have, I agree. I mean given all the other gadgetry, I can’t see why it couldn’t be added. And maybe on one screen you could have the scene from a coffee shop to help elicit the same “feel”. LOL! NO WAY?!?!? Squeeee…awesomeness. I’m heading over this am for a visit. Super pumped!

  21. Thank god I have my own office because that thing totally freaks me out! Too claustrophobic for it to work on me. Just looking at it makes me want to hurl. Must. Not. Look. Okay, I glanced around my very girly, very pink, very open office and I’m all better. You know, that kind of looks like my husband’s man cave. All those screens and control thingies… dang, he could’ve made a mint if only he’d come up with this idea. You find the weirdest things!

    • Oh Tameri, take some pictures of your office!!! I’d love to see it. Sounds HEAVENLY! I have my own office as well but it’s not quite how I’d like…but close…LOL!! I actually loved the chair and the 3 screens right there but yeah, I bet for some it’d feel a wee bit closed in. And I gotta say, it does lack the “inspiration” for writing say more romantic stuff. All that hard steel. LOL!!

  22. Ah! And it comes with a cup holder! No more spilling coffee on the storyboard notes! (I only did that once.) Although, in my life, after a week it will no longer be Angela’s writing space, but Kitty’s luxury bed and breakfast.

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