5 things I’ll never apologize for

Embracing my love of slightly slutty clothes while on vacation…those are my skin-tight pleather pants!!

I’ll say what I think. I believe in being honest and authentic while respecting other people’s feelings. It’s not about being blunt and having no filter or being mean for no reason but at the same time, expressing my thoughts and feelings is about expressing who I am as a person. If I lie or hide what I think, I feel like I am essentially hiding me. It can be a tough balancing act; being honest while not purposefully hurting someone. Blurting out “are you fawking studid??? Seriously???” is not helpful even if it’s what I am thinking (count to ten before speaking Natalie…). Sometimes I don’t get it right but when that happens, I am quick to apologize for being too harsh. But I won’t apologize for shooting straight from the hip. If you don’t want to know what I really think, don’t ask.

I’m a bit of a party girl. Nothing crazy and not every weekend but I do love to get my party on periodically. It can be a fire in the backyard with friends or a night out on the town dancing but every few weekends, I love to just let my hair down and crack open a few beers.

I swear…a lot…and I like it. Now, let’s be clear. It’s not like I have no control over my potty mouth. I keep a leash on my inner sailor at work and around kids but my naturally tendency is to swear…a lot! I know at times it makes people around me uncomfortable so I do try to respect the present company but again…it’s just me. And I quite like it. Probably another reason why I’d have never made it as a beauty queen.

I think I can handle myself. Growing up, I was a bit of a bad ass and got into some physical confrontations. In a few, I came out the victor. In a few, I came out less fortunate. Those few occasions taught me how fragile I was. I didn’t like feeling helpless and vulnerable given the circles I was running in. So I spent a few years studying street boxing and kickboxing. And I loved it. I loved how empowered and confident it made me feel. Funny thing, I never got into another physical confrontation once I started training. Regardless, as a woman, I like knowing that those lessons are stored in my brain…just in case!

I love to dress a little slutty. Ok, so I don’t dress THAT slutty but I’d love to. I’d wear just about every outfit featured in Frederick’s of Hollywood if I had the body and was younger. I think Hubby sometimes gets scared when we are out shopping and sees the things I am drawn to and would LOVE to wear. Backless, short, and BLINGED up. I’d let it all hang out if I thought for one second people wouldn’t snicker, point and laugh. So I keep my inner slut in her place and admire from afar. And when we go on our Dominican vacation, I let her out of the cage just a wee bit…pleather keeps her happy!

What things will you not apologize for? Do you relate to any of mine? Come on…share the wealth….

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Comments

  1. It’s just as your tagline suggests — you know, the one you so graciously offered to let me copy — Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.

    You do not look slutty in your outfit, btw. You look hot. It wouldn’t surprise me if your Blog Heckler followed you around all evening declaring “Five Alarm F***!”

  2. Ohhhh, do I relate to the language one. I spend all day talking carefully and articulately, teaching people how to use software. But once 6 PM hits, I devolve into pirate immediately. It’s astonishing. It’s like all of the small snide comments build up inside all day when I smile and say “Sure, we can go over that AGAIN,” and it results in a volcano of foul as soon as I whip the headset off. 🙂

    And thanks once again for the blog love.

    • OMG LUV IT!!!!!
      It’s so good to know that I’m not alone!!! I agree, especially during the week it’s totally a build-up thing. And once free in our home, it just pours out all evening. LOL!!

  3. Yes on the swearing. I’ve had to curb my potty mouth with my daughter, but I let loose whenever I can. Good for you on embracing who you are. Thanks for sharing with us:)

  4. Great list, Natalie! You go, Girl!

  5. lesa7515 says:

    You rock that pleather, girl!

  6. Those are all reasons we love ya, Natalie! Equally so, your willingness to share and possess them without regret. 🙂

    I’ll never apologize for my (some would say) over-the-top honesty. Even when it comes out blurt-style, I prefer it to partial truths & lies.

  7. ROCK THOSE PANTS!

    I totally agree with Gloria — that is NOT a slutty look, it is just HAWT, and you should never, ever apologize for it. Honestly, this is something that my mother taught me. She is a wild and flamboyant dresser (and also loves most everything in the Frederick’s catalog), frequently gets called out for it (“Why are you so dressed up? Where are you going? You make us all look bad), but does it anyway. She and I are constantly reinforcing each other to wear what makes us happy, and if that involves more color and bling than most people can handle, so be it.

    However, she does not agree with my potty-mouth, so I am very happy to see that I am not the only one who has one. Like you, I tone it down in front of kids, but stick my friends and I together, and it just allll comes out. I feel a little sorry for the people around us 😛

    • You girls really know how to make a gal feel some kind of HOT in pleather!! LOL! Thanks so much Lena….you and your Mom are RIGHT UP my alley!! Squeee….let er’ fly. Quite frankly, if how you dress makes YOU feel great, then that is all that matters!!
      Good to know I am not alone in the potty mouth department. LOL!!

  8. Cussing seems to be a theme here in the comments and I’ll join the party. I tend to have colorful language that I do control in public (for the most part) and in front of my kids (mostly) and other people’s kids (almost entirely) and on my blog and other social media–pretty much completely … but when I’m with my adult friends and family, I say what I say and sometimes no other word will do as well as the F-bomb! 🙂

    You look gorgeous in your outfit! Own it girl!! *fist bump*

    • Yeahhhha another cussing sista!! Luv it Ginger. LOL!! Colorful language, isn’t that just a sweet way to put it. LOL!!
      Awwww…tks honey bunny!! *fist bumps BLOWING IT UP* LOL!!

  9. I’m with you Natalie on the potty mouth, my father was a SAILOR and to not use his vocabulary and the occaisional great line (rough as a cobb) I would not be doing justice to his memory. Have an awsome day, bitches!!!!

    • OMG your father WAS a sailor Rachel!! Then by golly, I agree, you MUST honor his memory with cussing and color…LOL!! “Rough as a cobb
      ?!?!? OMG luv it! We soooo need to talk!! I could learn some new phrases to use at home and on Urban Word Wednesday!! 🙂
      Happy day bitches…
      LOVE IT!! LOL!!!

  10. Coleen Patrick says:

    Well said Natalie! I love stopping by your blog because I know I will be reading a genuine post from an awesome woman! 🙂

  11. Natalie, you are just gorgeous inside and out, pleather and Sailor-mouth and all. Love this post!

  12. Lovin’ the pleather…don’t change a thing!

  13. Oh yeah, the pleather rocks. sGirl, if ya got it, flaunt it. 🙂

  14. Love this, hunny! You always know how to cheer me up! Love the pleather pants! Fah-boo-lous!! 😀

  15. Shannon Esposito says:

    Yep, why we love you. (And wouldn’t mess with you) LOL! You are rockin’ those pants..and those hot pink toes! I’m not much of a swearer so I’d have to say the one thing I won’t apologize for is my need for alone time. Luckily, my hubby has no problem with this and entertains himself during my non-social periods. Speaking of hubbies…it was nice to get to know yours at the twitter party. You two were cracking me up!

    • LOL!! I am tame now Shannon…an old softy!! LOL!!
      I love that – won’t apologize for your me time! THAT rocks girl…and so happy that your hubby respects it and honors it. 🙂
      Oh yes, hubby and I rocked it OUT (and had a blast getting to know everyone better)! It’s soooo awesome that he’s a good sport. On the way home that night I mentioned the Twitter party and wanting to do some photos and he was ALL OVER IT! Came up with the sign idea, set up the tripod and rocked it out. Luv that. Nothing better than a hubby who is game for anything, any time. LOL!
      So glad you enjoyed….
      I am thinking I’ll have to do a blog feature with the photos for those who missed the Twitter party! LOL!!

  16. Karen McFarland says:

    Love the skinny cropped pleather Natalie! You wear it well! I think sincerity speaks highly about the person. I don’t do superficial girl. And I think you know that about me. 🙂

  17. I love that you know how to handle yourself. I think that’s so cool. I keep telling myself that some day I’ll learn a martial art (I’m leaning towards jiu-jitsu because it’s supposed to be the best for smaller people to learn how to use their opponent’s size against them).

    • Oh Marcy – don’t put it off. You will LOVE it! There is something so empowering and liberating about martial arts and training…I think you’ll have a blast. Keep us posted when you sign up…squeee!

  18. You know what? I’m a born apologizer. It’s the “nice” girl thing that’s been drilled into me. You’ve inspired me to come up with five things from the heart that I won’t apologize for. I have no idea where to start but I’ll work on it. Empowering!

    BTW, I love your bright pink toes with the pleather, you look fabulous!

    • YEAH Kate!!!
      You know, I can totally be a people pleaser as well and it’s hard habit to break but when it comes to the important things, the stuff that matters most to us and who we are, we gotta have a no apology rule – for sure! I can’t wait to hear what yours are!! Woot woot!!!
      Awwww….thank you! Always gotta have some kind of pink involved, right?! LOL!!

  19. You go girl! Love the pants and I especially love the fact that you like to swear and do it often! As I get older I find I don’t want to apologize for stuff anymore. Not things that are intrinsically me. Like swearing, or wearing a tiara if I feel like it, or not being a size four. I kind of like me the way I am and since there’ only one of me, I’m going to be the best one I can be!

    • AMEN to that Tameri!!!
      I put on my tiara on Friday night and rocked it out and LOVED it! Here’s to us always rocking our pleather and tiaras to our glorious heart’s content…squeeee!!!
      We all ADORE you just the way you are…Unique and proud of it…woot woot!!!

  20. lynnkelleyauthor says:

    I love your outfit and you look adorable in it. Love the pedicure, too! If I had your body, I’d wear some pleather, too. The swearing, I do my best to keep from slipping up. I’m a grandma now and a children’s author, so I need to keep my cool. If I drop an “F” bomb, I’m usually heading over the edge, but every so often, I’ll say it to be funny, but only to close friends. My favorite swear word is schmuck, which to me isn’t a swear word, but technically I guess it is, right? Yes, I guess many are offended by ‘schmuck,’ especially if I call them one. 🙂 Okay, not funny. I tried. I hope you had a fantastic vacation!

  21. I love all of those things! Great qualities to keep in yourself. I think the clothes one is a biggie. I hate when people feel bad about the way they dress, but I have learned that context is important. At a writers conference, I try and dress professional (and at work, too). But, I love dressing up and I love getting hooched up. That’s what we call your “dressing slutty”. When I was in college a friend’s mom always used to tease us that we like to wear things “backless, strapless, and topless.” At a club, bar, or party it was fun. And I think anyone can get hooched up, no matter what size the tag in the clothes says. But, if we wear it to the wrong place, we may feel a little awkward. Although, eventually you get used to being the one in the see-through shirt at the party with everyone in plaid shirts. It’s better to be ourselves, I say.

    • Context is totally key Emma – great point! I don’t want to stand out like a total douche at a conference wearing my lace-up pants with cleavage spilling out over my bustier, that’s for sure. LOL!! But getting our HOOCH on (LOVE THAT BTW, sooo using it) to head out dancing is FAB!
      And I couldn’t agree more, everyone should get hooched up, when the urge strikes no matter their size. We were out a few weeks ago and saw quite a large woman wearing quite a tight, short dress. And at first I was like “wow…you really should have bought a bigger size…” but then was like “girl…if you are happy and think and feel HOT, then GIVE ER'”!!! Go hooch!! 🙂
      Always better to be ourselves!!! Hence the reason people often see me dancing and singing as I walk and peruse the grocery store. Music moves me…what can I say?!?! LOL!!

  22. I plead the fifth on the swearing… I try not to, but sometimes my inner sailor takes over and the real me can only listen in stunned silence at the words pouring out of my mouth. Fortunately I can usually control Cap’n Kristy with threats of walking the plank. Usually.

    Love the outfit…nothing slutty about it at all. In fact, if I would look good in that outfit, I’d wear it, too. If you read my blog yesterday, the look I’m talking about are women who have to pretty much bare their chests to attract men. And the fact that young girls feel the need to do that, too. There’s a big difference between sexy/classy and disrespecting yourself (an in general ‘yourself’) so much that you think the only way a guy will look at you is if you’re half dressed. Those girls and women need to learn to be confident in who they are, not what they look like.

    What don’t I apologize for? I don’t apologize for much of anything anymore. What you see is what you get. I am mindful of the feelings of others so I choose my words carefully (or bite my tongue until it bleeds, depending on who it is…you just can’t say some things to some people, lol). Mostly though, I’m like Popeye…I am what I am….and not likely to change at this late date. 🙂

  23. Well, if this is stuff you won’t apologize for, then we’d get along just fine… Acting as/Being who you are is the most important thing you can do at any one time. Saves a LOT of hassle later.

    Only thing I have to wonder at the word “slutty”–or any of those terms that suggest that when a person wants to have fun, put on the glitz and show off their feathers …that this is somehow a bad thing.

    It’s F^@*ing GLORIOUS damn it!

    (oh, yeah… btw, I’m with you on #1… though no sailors here, just horse thieves, circus peeps and soldiers)

    • “Saves a lot of hassle later…” Truer words haven’t been spoken Eden – amen to that!
      AND LOVE it!! You are so right, there is nothing wrong or bad about wanting to dress in such a way that YOU feel hot and amazing and stylish…whatever that means to you. F*cking GLORIOUS – absolutely! Woot woot! 🙂

  24. Very nice…

  25. I love to see my female peeps as confident and self-reliant! Glad you wrote this post! 🙂
    Psst…I’d love to wear the figure hugging mini too, if I wasn’t convinced that people would point and laugh too! 😉

Trackbacks

  1. […] A few of my favorite posts of the week: RunningFromHellwithEl: How I Became a Rebel Thriver Ellie Ann: 15 Thrilling Moments at the Cinema Natalie Hartford: 5 Things I’ll Never Apologize For […]

  2. […] refuses to apologize for being her super quirky, hilarious self. In this post, she tells you about Five Things She’ll Never Apologize For. It’s a riot, just like Natalie. Her blog is more than just fun and frivolity, she takes […]

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  4. […] few years ago, the ever-sparkly Natalie Hartford published a blog post called 5 Things I’ll Never Apologize For, which basically says, “This is who I am. Deal with it!” […]

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