Urban Word Wednesday: Fartability

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Fartability: the odds that a food will cause noxious gas that is harmful to living things and injurious to health.

Examples Of Use:

I don’t know about you but depending on what he eats, hubby can get…well…I am just gonna say it. He gets GASSY! I am talking clear the room kind of gas. I swear, when it comes out of his ass, its yellow and toxic looking. When he drops one of his famous ass blasters, I yell “bomb,” grab my gas mask and hit the floor.

Now me on the other hand, I rarely have that issue. And on the odd occasion when I do have a wee bit of flatulence, they are more like little unnoticeable fluffs of air. A tiny toot that mostly goes unnoticed. Now hubby is likely to come on here and post all kinds of comments arguing to the contrary but don’t give it a moment’s attention. Lies. All lies!

Anyway, so giving hubby’s tendency to cut cheese like nobody’s business, we often evaluate our dinner options for their fartability factor. So Hubby and I were at a local restaurant this past weekend pondering what deliciousness to devour. While the waitress waited to take hubby’s order, we enjoyed a little urban word fun and watched her giggle over our convo.

Hubby: hmmmm…I just don’t know. I am torn between getting a pizza or a donair.

Me: both sounds sooo good. I could do either so you pick.

Hubby: well, the fartability factor for the donair is quite high. I’d rate it extreme deadliness on the fartability factor scale. While the pizza rates more like a medium to low risk although it does give me heartburn. 

Me: well are you planning to work in the garage tonight or watch TV? Cause if you are going to the garage, it’s your prerogative but if you want to watch TV with me upstairs, ya best opt for the pizza.

Hubby: and…I suppose the fartability factor could have a negative impact on foreplay potential????

Me: yes, the two are directly related so…it’s your call.

Hubbypizza it is!

Ever think about the fartability factor when ordering food? Does your significant other clear the room with their toxic gas? What’s the most embarrassing place you’ve let one fly (accidentally of course)? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

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