Urban Word Wednesday: Famine Underwear

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

I am sticking with the panty theme after yesterday’s post on the C string Thong.

Famine Underwear: The garments you wear during a shortage of underwear, when you haven’t done laundry in several weeks or months. Usually characterized by lack of elasticity, holes (usually large and awkwardly located), stains, and typically are at least 5-10 years old. In some cases soccer shorts, underwear of unknown origin, thongs, bathing suit bottoms, or ‘granny panties’ can be considered famine underwear, but do not necessarily meet the above criteria.

Examples Of Use:

Hubby and I were getting dressed for work the other morning when he totally busted me.

Hubby: WHAT is that you are wearing?!?!??

Me: what???

Hubby: those undies are like putting No Name Brand BBQ sauce on Grade A steak…a real shame!

Me: oh come on hubby! After a 2-week vacation of slinky and sexy I needed a break. I missed my famine underwear! Not to mention, there’s nothing better than famine undies when a gal is feeling all bloated and gross.

Hubby: I get the need for comfort but my god, can’t we toss those and buy you some newer ones that aren’t so…gray???

Me: but these ones are all broke in! It’s like they have morphed to my ass perfectly. They are custom famine underwear. I mean…you can’t just buy that kind of comfort and design. It takes years of wearing, washing, and general beating up to get true famine underwear.

Hubby: ok ok…I give! Keep the damn famine undies but just know…there is nothing sexy about that!

Me: I can live with that. Besides, trust me! You got your own whole compartment of famine underwear that I never say a word about! Rips and holes are just as unsexy as gray! Just sayin’…

Hubby: ….fair enough…

When do you break out your famine underwear? Does your significant other complain and threaten to toss them? Do you threaten to toss theirs? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

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Comments

  1. prudencemacleod says:

    Okay, so we have an undies theme going this week do we? hmmm I wonder what that says…never mind, I don’t really want to know. All right, yes I am sitting her in my own personal full seat, grey and ragged with age, famine underwear. They’re comfy, dang it all.

  2. Hmm, your Famine Undies sound a lot like my Period Underwear. I even have one pair that is so old the thong part in the back is a giant whole in the middle. It looks extra funny on a thong. If I forget and wear them to the gym, I have to change with my booty facing the lockers. Oh the shame! But, maybe now I could just say, “famine Undies” if someone looks at me funny. Somehow that seems more socially acceptable than Period Undies. Some people get all TMI about normal bodily functions.

    • Period panties – ahhhh yes!! Much the same and interchangeable I think.
      OMG Emma those thongs are fantastic. I told laughed out loud reading about you having to have your booty facing the wall in shame. LMAO!!!
      Yes, just say “famine undies” and everyone will nod with clear understanding! 🙂

  3. You are so right! We all have our famine undies and they are like a comfy pair of old sweats…. just nice to relax in and not have to stress about being sexy. Name brand bbq sauce on a grade A steak ~ you and Hubby are so hilarious!

  4. OMG, Natalie! Love the #pantypeeps theme you’ve got going this week. Also love the “famine underwear” – LOL, and so true! For the longest time, I hung onto my maternity undies and would pull those out when I had a laundry undie famine, haha! They’re long gone now, but hmm…I think I need to go to Target for another pack of Hanes….

    P.S. – Major hugs for mentioning my post – thanks, hunny!

  5. I’m with Emma. My sister and I call them “period panties”. Either because they are so worn out and ugly that you don’t care if they get even nastier, or because they have changed colors from being “Shout-ed” and bleached to remove unexpected leakage stains.

    Ha. My comment is kinda gross. I swear, it was worse in my head. 🙂

    • Girl…no comment is gross here.
      “unexpected leakage stains” – I burst out laughing because I totally get it! 🙂
      I hear ya – period panties are the best. It’s nice to be comfy with not a care in the world. LOL!!!

      • winnwords says:

        I have a similar category of stuff in my undies drawer. Instead of “Period Panties,” I refer to this as my “Period Clothing,” as in what might have been worn by Meryl Streep in a movie set in the 1700’s. It’s just as grotty as all the aforementioned, but sounds infinitely classier, don’t you think?

        • OMG LUV that – I absolutely agree, it sounds much classier. LOL!! 🙂 🙂

        • winnwords says:

          I’m VERY new to this blogging exercise, and just discovered your blog today! I love it! I’ve added you to my blogroll. 🙂

        • Awwww…THANK YOU Julie!! I went looking for yours to check it out but I get an error. What’s your blog address and I’ll swing over for a visit. It’s nice to welcome more peeps to the blogosphere…you are going to have a BLAST!!

        • winnwords says:

          Hi Natalie, Not sure why the connection didn’t work for you, but you can find me at http://winnwords1.wordpress.com. I AM having a blast already with this, although every now and then I come across a problem that WordPress doesn’t seem to have an answer for…might I call upon your expertise on occasion, for help? Also, I’d love to know where in NB you live…my hubby and I went to Mt. A., and Kid #2 is headed there in the fall!

        • Fabulous Julie, that link works perfect so I’ll head over and “check you out” this week! 🙂 I am thrilled to hear you are having a blast thus far and here’s to the party only getting bigger and better. Woot woot. And absolutely, if you come across any issues or have any questions, fire them right over – you can get my email from my About Me page and if I can help, I’d be happy to!
          I live in Fredericton so about 2 hours away from Mt. A. Amazing that Kid #2 is following in your footsteps. That’s gotta feel pretty great! 🙂 Congrats…I’ll be by for a visit soon…

        • winnwords says:

          Hey Natalie! Thanks for the encouragement! I’ll let you know if/when I am completely befuddled by WordPress! Actually, I have no idea yet how tags work, or if they are even necessary…any opinions on that?
          Yes, it feels fantastic to have Kid #2 going to Mt. A. Such an amazing place to grow up. One of my best friends from Mt. A. is now practicing dentistry in Fredericton…I wonder if perhaps you know each other…:)

        • Hey Julie,
          I found this great post on tags vs categories that will likely help: http://en.support.wordpress.com/posts/categories-vs-tags/ Essentially categories are the broad grouping you use on your blog. I have a few and provide a spot on my menu for people to sort my posts by those categories. Tags are a more specific description of your post and WordPress uses tags to put your posts into their global listing so using tags and using the right tags is helpful to gain new readers.
          No way, what’s her name??? It’s a small world so I wouldn’t be surprised if I did. LOL!

  6. Hubby aka The Blog Heckler says:

    Remember ladies – HANES ARE THE ENEMY!

  7. I get the comfort factor but can say I don’t have any famine undies. That Man, oy, his undie drawer is a whole other story. I. Do. Not. Go. In. There.

    You two are too cute. No Name Brand BBQ sauce on Grade A steak 😆

  8. I was going to say that every girl has at least one pair of famine undies until Raelyn blew it. LOL! Clearly, I do. They aren’t gray, but since I don’t usually describe my undies in public, I’ll keep the details of their appearance to myself. Let’s just say, I have to go a long time between laundry loads to get to them. Hilarious again, Natalie!

  9. lynnkelleyauthor says:

    Hahahahaha, Natalie, you’re a hoot! And your hubby, too! I didn’t think to wear bathing suit bottoms. Thanks for the tip! I couldn’t stand to go commando and thongs, just could never get used to having a perpetual wedgie. I’m old school, ya know. I grew up with bikini undies. I have to say that nothing is more comfy than granny panties. Such a funny post and fun comments, too!

    • I am right there with ya Lynn. I’ve tried a million times to convert to at least a thong full-time but…I am really a bikini girl at heart. And there’s nothing better than a good ol’ comfy granny panties…woot woot!
      So glad you enjoy hubby and my antics and the post. LOL!

  10. LOL. I’ve always called these my “Grannie Panties” or my “Period Panties” — as always, your Wednesday word of the day rocks!!!

  11. Coleen Patrick says:

    Famine underwear–that is awesome! Lately though I’ve been doing laundry and mine seem to be disappearing. Even the famine kind. Wonder what the term would be for that- Apocalypse underwear? LOL
    Thanks for including me in your links! You rock Natalie 🙂

    • BAHAHAHAHA!! Apocalypse underwear…I near spit out my water Coleen – that’s fantastic!!
      You’ll have to go on the hunt and retrieve those very necessary famine undies…
      Absolutely – I LOVED the post and was happy to feature it. 🙂

  12. ROFL! Looove it. My hubby’s just happy when I WEAR underwear. (Kidding!) (Maybe. ;)) Seriously, though, I’m such a bargain hunter that I end up buying underwear that’s cheap for a reason! I’m learning to invest more. Thanks to you and this post, Natalie, I just might treat under areas with feast underwear. (Um… Thinking that sounds wrong! But how CAN you go wrong when speaking undies….?!?!?)

    • Girl…. commando is A OK with me!! To me, it is by the far the most comfy…
      Bargain hunting panty shopper. Well I respect that. But yeah, when it comes to undies, spending a little bit more can go a long way.
      LOL feast underwear – fab! And you can never go wrong with speaking undies…LOL!!

    • That’s my girl, August. You absolutely CAN’T go wrong speaking undies. 🙂

  13. Totally off topic (so unlike me): We lived with my MIL for several years when we realized she needed help with day-to-day and home repairs. I loved that woman. She was the first one to laugh at herself when she answered the TV remote, or tried to change channels with the telephone.

    She did laundry every day. If something was in the dirty laundry, it was washed, dried and folded by the time we got home from work. John only wore two pair of tighty-whities during that window. The ones he had on, and the cleaned ones from the prior day. That kind of overuse puts a strain on even the best Hanes brands. When one pair started to unravel around the elastic, he ripped it into an elongated mass of white cotton with only a smidgen of fabric attached to the waist, and he tossed it into the dirty laundry as a joke. When he came home, guess what he found washed, dried, and neatly folded? I guess she thought they were jock straps. Who knows.

    LOVE your urban word Wednesdays. Now I have TWO blog topics to rock. My Zen Zone and Stud Muffin pictorial essay, and a MIL memory lane chronicle.

    • OK…LOVE your MIL!! OMG she sounds fahhhbulous!! The one thing I’ve learned thus far in life is that we can’t take life, or ourselves, too seriously. The ability to laugh at ourselves is absolutely related to our happiness factor. LOL!
      And folded his tore up famine undies?!?!? LMAO!!! Priceless….maybe she thought you were a TIGER in the bedroom and that you guys would want to keep them for the memories if nothing else…LOL!!!
      Soooo glad you love UWW! Hubby and I have a blast trying them out and writing them. It’s a HOOT! And I can’t WAIT to read your post on the Zen Zone and Stud Muffin pics and the MIL memory lane….LOL!!!!

  14. Ka-snorttle.

    Don’t you hate it when the elastic starts to unravel and pinch? And those stringy elastic threads that you can’t roll around your finger and snap off because they just keep unravelling, more and more and more, like a string of scarves up a magician’s sleeve?

    Hubby travels. A LOT. When he comes home, there is always at least one pair of his famine undies that must go in the garbage. It is an executive decision on which he is never consulted.

  15. I’ve always called them period panties, too. LOL. Yes, I hate it when the elastic unravels, because that’s usually when they’re at their most comfortable.

  16. Hahaha! Too funny. I just made one of those “executive decisions” not all that long ago. What was it… sorting the laundry a few hours ago. Bye bye.

  17. I’m sitting here shocked to my very core. Famine underwear??? Period underwear??? SERIOUSLY??? What are you ladies thinking??? Are you TRYING to give your mothers heart attacks or what? I’m a good daughter. In fact I’m such a good daughter I buy new underwear every week and throw out the ‘old’ because…gasp…you just NEVER know when someone might have reason to see your panties. Yeah, right! LOL! I have some famine underwear that would make my mother roll over in her grave…if she weren’t still alive.

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