Bringing out the best in YOU

Hubby and I went and saw This Means War (great movie…we laughed out loud at various scenes…a definite must-see) last weekend. The premise of the movie is a gal torn between two guys. At one point, she goes to her best friend for advice because she’s fallen for both. Her best friend says:

“Don’t choose the best guy;
choose the guy that brings out the best in you!

 

DING DING DING! Bells started going off and I was totally blown away by how bang on this statement is.

I have a lot of single friends out there in the trenches searching for their dream partner. And I have a lot of friends in mediocre relationships trying to turn a frog into a prince. And I dish out a ton of advice, tips and tricks based on what worked for me. But I’ve never mentioned the above advice and it shocked me how obvious it is and how key it is to a truly successful relationship.

I mean, we’ve all had those relationships where that person just brings out the worst in us. You know…the relationship that for whatever reason you stay hating yourself and who you’re becoming the entire time. The relationship where you find yourself doing crazy things (like setting up a fake email account pretending to be another woman…), saying outlandish things (maybe a screaming match in the middle of a mall) and just acting like an all around crazy person…The relationship where you look in the mirror and don’t even recognize the person staring back.

Did you know that the opposite can be true?

I didn’t…until hubby!

That’s when I realized that “the” one is the guy that brings out the very best in me. He’s the guy that makes me love myself more than I ever imagined. He’s the guy that makes me feel like the most amazing person, the most beautiful woman, and the best person in the entire world.

I can list a long laundry list of reasons and characteristics that A) set hubby apart from all the others (y’all know he rocks) and B) were definite signs that he was the one for me. But beyond the lists and the amazing person that he is….hubby has always brought out the absolutely best in me. And I think I bring out the best in him.

That’s what we do for each other. That’s what we bring to the table. That’s what sets US apart. That’s how I knew he was the one.

With him, I am more confident, happier, funnier and more honest. With him I feel incredible, empowered, intelligent, and more authentic than ever before. With him, I am the best woman, person, employee, friend, lover, companion etc that I’ve ever been.

With him, I am the best me I’ve ever been.

How does you’re your significant other bring out the best in you? What’s some of the best “finding love” advice you’ve received?

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Comments

  1. You are so right on with that! I think another person can only bring out the best in you when they know and accept the real you. You can never be your best when you are pretending to be someone else. It just doesn’t work. There is a song that was out a few years ago called “You make me better”, I think it’s by Fabulous. My step mom loves it and she always says that is how a relationship should be. He should bring you up, not down. I know you are both right!

  2. This one is definitely on the mark. That’s why it is so important to let your guard down a bit in the early stages of a relationship. Put their feet to the fire and see what they’re made of before getting in to deep. When you find the one who smiles lovingly at all your craziness and tells you you’re Ok and that it’s Ok to be yourself, grab that one and hang on.
    What? Oh yeah, I’ve heard this phrase more than once. “You’re not crazy sweetie, you just see the world through different eyes.” Always makes me feel better.

    • Wonderfully said Prudence and I could not agree more. It’s important to show someone exactly who you are to see if they are the right fit for you. And likewise, to take people at face value and not make excuses for them. No point trying to fit a round peg into a square hole from day 1.
      I LOVE that phrase….so beautiful!!!!!

  3. Awwweee so true and super sweet. 🙂

  4. Woot, Natalie! That is SO true. What a great way of looking at it! Now, of course, if bringing out the best in hubs involves picking up his socks…well, I’d be 0 for 1,000. LOL!

  5. So simple and so true. It took me a few *cough, cough* relationships to figure this one out. I’m telling you, though, once I got it, everything was easy peasy. Hopefully your gal pals will listen this time when you tell them this little nugget of relationship fabulousness!

  6. I couldn’t agree more; great advice. And I’m so happy you found that, Natalie. 🙂

  7. What a great blog post for Monday! it is the same with my hubby, he makes me a better person, just by being around him (most of the time LOL). We’re coming up on 37 year next month. I remember when I met him, he was first guy who seemed delighted to be with ME, instead of acting like I was lucky to be with him.

    • 37 years – that is AMAZING! Congrats Pauline. Luv that – he was the first guy who seemed delighted to be with ME, instead of acting like I was lucky to be with him.
      WOW – fahhhbulous!!!

  8. It’s so simple to say and so true, yet so hard for many to find. Celebrate it and never let it go when you have it. Here’s a toast to you and the hubster ~clink~

  9. What an awesome post Natalie! See, I could tell right away that this subject tapped into your passion! You said it so well. And I’m so happy for you that you found the one person in your life that completes you, that supports you, that loves you. It makes all the difference in the world. 🙂

  10. Lovely. My DH makes me funnier. He is hilarious, but his sense of humor has given me confidence in mine and has made me take more risks. Thanks for making me think of this!

  11. Jack Nicholson had a line in “As Good as It Gets” that was similar. He tells Helen Hunt’s character, “You make me want to be a better man.”

    LOVE IT.

    Just like, “choose the guy that brings out the best in you!” So simple. So true. And it’s amazing how many people miss the mark. Love that you have that Natalie. Brilliant post!

  12. I moved to another city, met my husband three weeks later, and we dated for a while before my best friend moved out to join me. When she arrived and met my guy, she made a telling comment: “I like him. You are totally yourself around him.” She had witnessed me trudging through several relationships in college, sometimes tweaking myself a little depending the guy. But I knew I had struck gold when I could be completely me around my husband and feel entirely loved. He was the same with me.

    My love advice to people is usually that if you want to find Mr. or Mrs. Right, BE Mrs. or Mr. Right. Work on being the kind of person that will attract the person you want.

    • Awwww….that rocks Julie. What a FAB love story. And yes, sometimes our friends can give us such incredible insight into how we are in our relationships and it bears paying attention to it.
      LOVE your advice. SPOT on! Be who you want in a relationship…I could NOT have said it better myself! 🙂

  13. This post really made me smile because one of the nicest compliments my husband gives me is when he tells me that I make him a better man 🙂 It goes both ways.

  14. 100% true! Don’t you wish we’d learn this little fact at a younger age? It would save a whole lot of heartbreak and drama. But then, where would the fun in the teen years be? haha!

    I also believe the same is true for friendships. A good friend will bring out the best in you.

    • Oh my gosh…YES, I totally wished I’d have learned this so much earlier but you are right, getting here has been half the fun and…those are lessons sometimes you just gotta learn the hard way. LOL! In the end, it’s all been worth it…
      So true that the same applies to true friendships – absolutely!

  15. Elena Aitken says:

    You guys are SO sweet.
    I totally agree. Pick the one that brings out the best in YOU. Brilliant. Yet so simple.

    I agree with Ginger, the same is totally true for friendships. 🙂

    The best love advice I ever got was, “Don’t pick the man you can live with. Pick the one you can’t live without.”

  16. Great advice! It is totally true. I always tell my friends to look for someone who inspires them to be a better person when looking for a mate. And when that advice is followed the kind of companionships you discover in life are amazing. Thanks for such nuggets of wisdom Natalie!

  17. Great insight, Natalie! I’d never thought of it that way, either.

  18. Right on, Natalie. when someone can bring out the best in us, they know us well enough to know our best and how to access it. wonderful post.

  19. Aw, I completely agree. In fact, as my hubby was driving me home from our first date I remember looking at him and thinking that I could spend a lot of time with him just because I was so comfortable being around him and enjoyed how much we laughed. We’re hitting our 24th wedding anniversary this summer, and I still enjoy being around him more than anyone else. 🙂

  20. I’ve dated my share of toads. 🙂 I was friends with my husband for a long time before we started dating. Marrying someone who is a good companion is important. He makes me laugh and we never run out of things to talk about. That’s not to say we agree on everything! The best advice is don’t believe marrying someone is going to change them.

  21. Fantastic post, Natalie. The great partners really do make us shine and sparkle in our very own skin. My hubby laughs, smiles and compliments parts of my personality and comments I make that others would roll their eyes at, crinkle up with confusion or, hmm…run away. LOL He’s never put pressure on me to partake in water sports (I’m a total hydraphobe), though he is an expert diver…or felt slighted when I take steps toward or immerse myself in my dreams. (He’s an uber-cheerleader, unlike other guys I’ve known… ;)) I’m so thrilled that your hubby’s in your court. You deserve each other in the best possible way.

    • Your hubby sounds like a DREAM match for you August and I couldn’t be happier. You deserve to be cheered and celebrated every single day and it sounds like he comes up stellar!! Fahhhbulous…

  22. Beautiful post Natalie! I was swooning the whole time! *tissues please*

    I LOVE that you found your love. Gives the rest of us single gals out there the hope that we too will find THAT kind of love. The kind that brings out the best in us 🙂

  23. Coleen Patrick says:

    Aw what a lovely post! A great tribute to your relationship. 🙂
    And thank you for the shout out–you are awesome Natalie!

  24. Better late than never… but reading this great blog article… which I found when I Googled “How to bring out the best in someone” – and of course vice-versa is good too! (; Thank you! I wish I had read this a long time ago… God Bless you and your blog.

    • It’s “right” when he does that for her and she does that for him. Probably rare to find but hopefully it’s out there

  25. It’s “right” when he does that for her and she does that for him. Probably rare to find but hopefully it’s out there

Trackbacks

  1. […] time blissfully committed.  When I read this sweet post from my blog buddy, Natalie Hartford, on finding life partners that bring out the best in us, I thought again of the geese and imagined their inside jokes, conversations over parenting and […]

  2. […] Bringing Out the Best in YOU This post by Natalie Hartford is a MUST READ for any singles out there lookin’ for love. Using examples from the film This Means War, she encourages us all to choose the mate who brings out the best in us! […]

  3. […] Hartford has the best answer I’ve seen to date in Bringing Out the Best in You. I had a minor epiphany when I read her post. Her advice is so simple and makes us realize that […]

  4. […] during my ten minute break that seems to have stretched just the teensiest bit, I read a post on Natalie Hartford’s blog, quoting a line from This Means War. Don’t choose the best guy, choose the guy that brings out […]

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