Urban Word Wednesday: Ninja Sex

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Ninja Sex: having noiseless sex (no squeaking springs or vocals) while one or more people are passed out in the same room.

Examples Of Use:

Hubby and I were at the movie theatre last Friday night. We saw Underworld 3D (sooo good). While munching on some popcorn waiting for the movie to start, we decided to enjoy a little urban word fun. The following conversation (much to the amusement of the 3 ADULT couples around us) ensued.

Hubby: so….have you ever had ninja sex?

Me: WHAT? Ok, what in God’s name is ninja sex?

Hubby: you know…sex where you gotta be ultra quiet because you don’t want to wake up the people sleeping or passed out in the same room?

Me: OMG no! Ewwww hubby?!?! You should know, totally not my style!

Hubby: come on….not even back in those club party days?!?!? A little drunken ninja sex?!??! You can tell me!

Me: hubby, you’ve partied with me for years! Tell me, at 2 am drunk or sober, what’s the one thing on my mind?

Hubby: ummmm…sleep!

Me: exactly! And let me tell you, that’s always been the way!

Hubby: oh well…I guess that’s good news! My girl turns into a pumpkin at the end of the night.  

Me: that she does!

Ever had ninja sex? Know anyone who has? Eeeekeee…I can’t believe I’m saying this but…come on…share the wealth…

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  1. LOL, I’m sure the surrounding people were totally concentrating on what you guys were talking about! I’ll bet they were disappointed you haven’t had ninja sex. Seems more likely to be called “Ninja Assassin” sex, because that’s the silent “get in/get out” (ha) type. Other ninja stuff seems rather dramatic and noisy. Not that I’m a Ninja expert or anything 😉

    Fun post, Natalie!

  2. I get you. Midnight is called the bitching hour at our house because Pru turns into a sleepy bitch at 12:01am. However *blushes* get me started before the clock chimes and anything is possible. Yes, I’ve done the deed, but now I no longer care who hears what and I’m niosey anyway.
    Oh gods, there’s another post in there I’m sure. tee hee

    • Prudence, that’s fantastic. Midnight, wowzer girl! You are a rockstar! Let me tell you, my hour is more like 10 pm!! WAHAHA!! And I am with ya, at this point in life, keeping quiet is not on the top of my priority list!!
      You go girl – total post material here!

  3. As usual, you have given me another word to discuss with the hubster. I’m sure he’ll like this one. Great stuff, Natalie!

  4. Jillian Dodd - Glitter, Bliss and Perfect Chaos says:

    So it’s kinda like stealth sex, and without going into details yes. Once on a bus, with his parents in the next bunk.

  5. OMG. No, you didn’t. Did you? You did.

  6. Dang, that’s what that was called!! You know parents have been doing this for centuries, right? I think the efforts to keep silent kind of outweigh the benefits, but I’m a girl. I’m sure a guy would take a different stance. 🙂

  7. Omg! The hubster has brought this up before – at the parents! My reaction was like yours. Ah – no, thanks. Hello. Mom and dad. Sleeping next door. WU! Does that make me a prude?

  8. Yep. Love me some Ninja Sex. Totally puts a new spin on things and it’s less traumatic for the kids than me going into their room and saying, Hey how about you listen to music REAL loud for about an hour? Seriously, if you ever meet my daughter, just say that to her and watch the reaction. It’s hilarious.

    I gotta tell the Hubs this is what it’s called. He’ll love it!

  9. LOL. In my college days I may have engaged in some ninja making out. Although once you have kids, pretty much all sex is ninja sex!

  10. Not only is that too icky for me, I don’t think it’s even physically possible. And why would you want to do it? I mean, it’s not that much for a cab home. Or take a bus and get some privacy! But that’s just my opinoin. I knew folks in college who liked the whole public thing. Just not for me!

  11. I’m not a ninja guy when it comes to sex. Difficult for me to have a complete explosive style orgasm without vocals or at least some audible grunting. I have also read that for the woman fuller, deeper more guttural vocals coming from the belly heightens pleasure and is healthier for the body not to mention a turn-on for the man.

  12. No question about it. Parents rock the ninja sex scene best!

  13. Only you would post an articel about a Ninja Sex conversation.

  14. Yes-ninja sex has been necessary, and enjoyable, many, many times. Now sex is only with the cat as an audience. He seems to know when it’s about to take place and he insists on lying on the bed with us. Never jumps on the bed any other time.

    • LOL!! I hear ya about the cat having had 2 for a number of years. They are sick little perverts, always wanting to “watch” the action. Now we have to deal with the dog constantly wanting to catch a peak. When she’s staring at us, I tell her “don’t judge me…damn it!” LOL!!

  15. LOL, Ninja master 😀 unless I’ve been drinking, then according to That Man all bets are off. Four kids…

    Though I can’t say I’ve ever had THAT conversation in a movie theater! Of course, four kids…can’t remember the last time we went to the movies.

  16. I have to say the whole audience thing doesn’t work for me…passed out or otherwise. Had a neighbor once who liked to stand outside the door listening to things that should have been private. And then giggling as he walked into his own apartment.

    But I agree with all everyone else…parents are Ninja sex masters. Natalie…you and your hubby need to start recording these conversations so we can hear them, too. 🙂

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