Urban Word Wednesday: Spank Bank

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Spank bank: A memorable collection of mental images that one wishes to retain for masturbation purposes.

Examples Of Use:

Picture this, hubby and I are at a funeral. During one of the prayer sessions, I catch him checking out my ass. The following whispered conversation ensues.

Me: WHAT are you doing? We are supposed to be quietly praying!

Hubby: are those new pants?

Me: yes, they are the ones we got last month, why? Is something on them?

Hubby: I didn’t realize how good your ass looked in them. Ohhh yeah!! Very hot!

*as he pears behind me AGAIN to check it out*

Hubby: I am gonna file that away in my spank bank for later!

Me: the WHAT?!?!

Hubby: you know…my spank bank! I just took a mental image of your ass and loaded it into my spank bank so some night when I am in need and you are…say gone to bed early…I can recall this piece of deliciousness and rock out to it in the shower.

Me: you are sick and perverted. Why can’t you just look at porn like most other husbands?

Me: WAIT! OMG, are you cheating on me in your spank bank? Do you have OTHER WOMEN there? Do you do the nasty while thinking of someone else?!?!?!

Hubby: trust me baby…my spank bank is only for you…

Me: we need help – seriously!

Ever catch your spouse putting you in his/her spank bank? Got a spank bank of your own? Share the wealth…

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Comments

  1. You crack me up! “Are you cheating on me in your spank bank?” bwahahahaha!

  2. ROFL, Natalie! Oh, to be a fly on the wall anywhere you guys are…wow, a funeral? Too funny!

    • I KNOW!!! Seriously – we are just two huge goof balls. You should have seen the conversation we had LAST night! We invented another word for the urban dictionary BUT hubby said it was MUCH too riské for even my blog!! LOL!!! He said I might actually offend my readers’ senses…
      Sniff…it was hilarious but…definitely not everyone’s cup of tea! We are insane that way…wahahaha!! It’s good though because we laugh so much together and I love that about us. 🙂

  3. Bwahahaha! No words for you two. I’ve heard of guys having this. I’ve also heard they aren’t quite monogamous about what images go in there. You better search his memory files. Heh.

  4. That’s funny. Although I think it sounds like you need to be um, more available for shower time.

  5. Oh my gosh. This is tooo funny. I so love urban word Wednesday.

  6. I think I’m blushing! You two are hilarious. Seriously, I don’t think I want to know if my husband has a spank bank or who/what is in there. Ignorance is definitely bliss. And I agree with Jillian.

  7. I definitely spanky bank all those badonadonks.
    And hubbies who say, “Honey you’re the only one in my spanky bank,” are playin’ your fiddle,

  8. LMAO! I’m sure Roy is speaking the truth. That’s the same line my husband feeds me, btw. *bullsh*ts* I cough. What’s that you say? Oh, you heard me. What was that statistic about how often men think of sex? Oh yes, every seven seconds. Sounds like your man needs some shower time with his lady to chase any unwanted spank bank inhabitants away.

    • Oh lord…hubby is getting enough amunition to last him awhile!! LOL!!
      *bullsh*t*!!! Oh yes…most definitely but I do my best to stay front of mind…I mean, have you SEEN my shoe collection!??!! LOL!!

  9. OMG, Spank Bank? And is that ever a line of crap Hubby! That’s right, we’re calling you out. I’m with Roy and Debra on this one. 🙂

  10. ROFLMAO…I’ve never heard it called THAT before!

  11. LMFAO. Spank Bank is one I haven’t heard in a while, and lol. I bet his spank bank is diverse – he is a man, after all.

  12. Elena Aitken says:

    OMG, Natalie, you and your hubby kill me! Awesome. I love that not only do you have these conversations…you blog them! ha ha

  13. Yeah, all the ladies are calling their hubbies and asking whether they have a spank bank. I can tell you now, my honey does. And while I might be the star of the show, I don’t delude myself that there are no supporting characters. I mean, hello…he’s a MAN!

  14. I think it’s safe to say both my & hubby’s spank banks are full of spouse portraits. LOL Fab post, Natalie. Thrilled that your hibby’s crazy about you! 🙂

  15. If you ever decide to write something other than fiction, consider a Urban Dictionary book. You and the hubby are hysterical. It’d make a fabulous wedding gift. LOL!

  16. That’s too funny. Next time you wear the pants, you’ll have to put an extra roll in your hips when you walk in front of him 🙂

  17. Hubby aka The Blog Heckler says:

    I’m saddened by all of the DOUBT that has been cast upon my monogamous spank bank! LOL!
    I’m sticking to my guns because – HELL- I can never be proven wrong!!!!! haha

    I’m sure if you comment/beg loud enough – you could bend Natalie’s arm into using the “questionable” urban word we made up the other night in a future Urban Word Wednesday! haha

  18. Oh, Natalieee…come on over here and whisper that new word in my ear. Shhh! I won’t tell anyone. Promise! Can I bribe you with chocolate? How about another pair of hot shoes? Huh? Come on, Nat.
    NATALIE! I asked nicely…pretty please?

    I’m sure my hubby has a spank bank, though he hasn’t mentioned it. He probably doesn’t want me asking if I’m the only one in it!

    *whispering* Hey, Natalie…email me that word, okay?

    • Hmmmm…you never know…I may use it yet. It might be over the top BUT…hey, I am nothing if I am not over the top. LOL!!!
      That’s a question no hubby wants to be asked!!!! LOL!!!

Trackbacks

  1. […] Urban Word Wednesday: Spank Bank – Natalie HartfordJan 11, 2012 … Spank bank: A memorable collection of mental images that one wishes to retain … Hubby: I am gonna file that away in my spank bank for later! […]

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