Hubby’s Corner: are you a man or a mouse?

By Hubby

Anyone that knows me, knows that there is only one other creature that I battle with more than the elusive New Brunswick Partridge and that’s the ever-daring rodent called the Deer Mouse.

I’m certain the basic training guide for our most elite soldiers of the world was devised by studying the strategic moves and militant brigade precision of the deer mouse.

At our camp I have a constant battle with deer mice. I use poison, I set traps, I seal every crack I can find all the while the Camp Heckler (AKA, my wife) is there to lend a supportive hand…hell….who are we kidding here?!?! Not you guys…you know that there’s no support from the Camp Heckler!!

So with this in mind, a friend of mine, we’ll call him John to protect his identity, decided to share with me the story of his latest encounter with the deer mouse. John is about 42 years old and has many of the qualities many men his age might display. Mild hair displacement as his hair has vacated the northern region of his body for the ever popular southern regions. At a cool three bills, his midsection is accumulating like interest on a high interest credit card. With this mental snapshot stored in your spank banks (future Urban Word Wednesday I’m told…stay tuned), I’d like to share with you John’s story…

John and his wife were sound asleep in their bed; cuddled up with their two cats and dogs. John was in the deep Zen kind of sleep, when at about 3 a.m. he started dreaming about something scratching his head. He promptly changed position only to have the head scratching continue. John woke up and quickly navigated his naked body across the bedroom floor, hit the light switch, and found his head bleeding. He looked to the bed where he had been sleeping to shockingly find a mouse sitting on his pillow having a stare down with his useless cat. The mouse had been chewing on his bald head.

With no cat in pursuit, the mouse scurried into the closet.

John, being a fellow hunter and gatherer, went to the garage and grabbed one leather work glove and a large mayonnaise jar and headed back up to the bedroom armed and dangerous. He cautiously entered the closet to find both cats inside looking up at the clothing on the hangers. John glanced up in time to see the mouse running across the top of the hangers. With ninja-style reflexes, he snatched the mouse with his gloved hand and put it in the mayonnaise jars and celebrated with a loud “AH-HAAH!”

At that point, his wife woke up from a dead sleep to the following site: John standing naked in the closet wearing one glove and holding a mouse in a mayonnaise jar yelling “AH- HAAH!”

At this point in the story I was laughing so hard I couldn’t quite catch my breath as I sputtered out “I’d like to see the mouse that saw you laying on a table like a mouse buffet and thought you were a midnight snack!”

On a more serious note, John continued to tell me how he saved the mouse in the jar just in case he had to have it tested. My thoughts were “what about the mouse? Who’s going test it for John-dis?!!” 

I’d like to end with this hilarious commercial that showcases the sheer will, smarts, and power that John and I come up against in our deer mouse battles.

Advertisements

Comments

  1. Coleen Patrick says:

    Ok that video is crazy! I have to admit those few seconds in the middle I was thinking–this is like a horror movie!
    So funny.

  2. I nearly spewed at your friend’s experience. About 10 years ago, I discovered there was a mouse in my house. But I’m a pacifist, so I put out the glue traps. I would re-locate that mouse and let him live. Then I discovered the little bugger had the nerve to go upstairs!
    now I’m angry. T
    hen he had the nerve to run across my computer keyboard, and leave me a mouse present.
    His moments are numbered now, because I’m mad. I ran to the store and bought kill traps. The next morning, that little sucker had met his maker and my house was mouse free.

    • they are pretty sly – I put 10-15 traps down at the camp every time we leave and I’ve found several with the peanut butter licked clean and the trap not sprung! They are like Ninja’s sometimes!

    • LOL!!! Well, he just pushed you too far Louise and you had to show him who was boss. Woot woot! LOL!!!

  3. Oh man, I don’t do rodents. I so don’t do rodents. Even looking at the still of the mouse video eeks me. And I do love the horror genre where most of it doesn’t phase me. I’m gathering up the nerves to watch the clip. Funny camp story, though.

    • Okay… I tried and at 14 seconds in with him scampering to bite the cheese, I’m squealing “no, no, no, no, no.” Ha, ha, ha.

    • Rodents are EEEKEEE (in a bad way)!!!!

      • Okay, okay. I clicked again to watch and got through it. Well, with my hands in front of my face. Hubby is right – this woman is scared by little mice. My neighbor keeps wood stacks, which I’m told attracts them. I’ll sometimes see one running outside and just saw one tooling (and taunting) behind my car this week. Even though I had a shovel in hand, I could not bring myself to step near it let alone smack at it. He’d run towards me, I’d bang the shovel, he’d turn around, then run back towards my feet. Eeeek!

  4. OMG, that is stinkin hilarious! LOL!!!!!

    I hate meeces to pieces. Kill em and grill em Hubby! 🙂

  5. Oh I would just totally freak out of a mouse was on my bed! I HATE those things (which is why we have cats…and with five there better NEVER be a mouse in my house!). LOVE the reference to hair moving from the north to the south on guys (SO true!), and the image of a naked guy with a glove and mayo jar. I also love/hate the video. Love because it’s hilarious…hate because I had to look at a MOUSE. I do not like scary stuff, and don’t even like to touch pages in magazines that have pics of mice or snakes on them. Yuck! 🙂

    • This post has reaffirmed the age ol’belief that mice are scary to women (they scare me too) haha

    • ROFL!!! Hmmmm…the surprise of a mouse scares me more than the mouse itself. Some nights as we go to sleep at the camp, you can hear them in the walls and it doesn’t really bother me. I mean, I don’t want them crawling all over me or anything…ewwww…but they sort of remind of a cute little hampster. LOL!!!

      • LOL. The surprise of a mouse scares me, the mouse scares me…and I just hate hearing them. When we still lived in town, which is where we had mice, they would get in the broiler part of the oven. I would make my kids, who are NOT afraid of mice, go out and stomp around a little bit before I’d even step in the kitchen.

        And I don’t find them cute in ANY way, lol.

  6. I’ve watched that video 5 times – I LOVE it!!!

    • LOL! 5 times? Wow – love the commitment!
      We are big Rocky fans and had just watched Rocky III with Mr. T, so the theme song really struck a cord. Killed us!

    • Woot woot! Wasn’t it AWESOME?!?! I’ve watched it well over a dozen times and I can’t stop laughing at it. RIOT!! As hubby said, huge Rocky fans so that just makes it that much funnier. LOL!!

  7. Mice don’t scare me. Well, Mickey Mouse does a little, but being the Disney lover that I am, I’m dealing with it.the little nice mice that run around the house? Not so much. Mostly because I have a homicidal kitty and dog that keep my house mouse free. If they ever leave one alive (it happens, not often, but it does), I make my hubs take care of it. Aren’t I nice?

    Poor John and his mouse. That video makes me jump when the trap snaps. Yikes, but then the little bugger gets stronger! Love it.

    • you need to get your hubby a leather glove and mayonnaise jar….worked for John – just saying!

    • Yeah, I don’t have a huge fear of mice either Tameri. Unless they startle me…otherwise, they don’t freak me out that much. Although I wouldn’t want one chewing on my head or running over my bed…LOL!! And yeah, I let hubby handle them once they are in the trap. Poor little things…
      I KNOW…I’ve watched the video over a dozen times and I jump every time the trap snaps. LOL!!!

  8. Oh that’s so funny! My husband chases moles (or gophers) whatever it is that creates those tunnels all over our yard. I call him Elmer Fudd b/c he’ll see some dirt flying up and off he goes with his rifle to blast holes into the tunnels. Does he shoot them? Nope. Just makes the hole a little bigger.

Don't be shy...tell me what you think

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: