Urban Word Wednesday: Blumpkin (Warning: brace yourselves; a bit R-rated and kind of gross)

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Blumpkin: the delicately balanced art of receiving a blow job while taking a dump.

Examples Of Use:

Hubby: so….how about you give me a blumpkin tonight?

Me (looking up from laptop): ahhh…sure…what is it?

Hubby: well….it involves you giving me a blow job while I take a shit.

Me: you didn’t honestly think I’d fall for that, did you? Sick pervert!

Hubby: you should totally use that on your blog!

Me: my readers will block my blog – seriously hubby – are you insane!?!?

Hubby: they’ll love it!

Hubby is out of control on the urban dictionary – save me – tell him he’s gone too far this time!

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Comments

  1. Jessica O'Neal says:

    Ewwwwww…are there people out there who actually do that??!?! Gross!

  2. Nancy J Nicholson says:

    Not going to make my dictionary. You have in interesting husband.

  3. Death by Blog-Bus!!! Did I just get thrown under the wheels? You bet your sweet a$$ I did! Hahaha

    Oh well! You can’t be a diamond in the rough if you’re never in the rough!

    Beep! Beep! Beep! Here she comes to back over me again! Haha

  4. That is disgusting! Did R.Kelly come up with it? I hope it is something that people say, but that no one actually does. Even for money. Never. No way. It reminds me of when people were all using the phrase “Dirty Sanchez”. At the time I was dating a guy who’s last name was Sanchez, so it was pretty bad for me. I wanted to wear a shirt that said, “I don’t do anything involving poop, so don’t ask.” I hope this new one doesn’t ruin pumpkins for anyone.

  5. “Kind of Gross”? This blog has allowed me to learn all kinds of new things about my wife…LMAO!

    That’s like looking out your window at a twister and saying “it’s kind of windy”
    That’s like cutting a hole in the ice on a lake and jumping in and saying “it’s kind of cold”

    Or after being shot down, escorted to the gate, turning around and yelling “but I have a really great tool” – being KIND OF FUNNY and SAD! (Relating to a post on Jenny Hansen Blog – look I’ve CO-JACKED my own wife’s Blog for Jenny – beat her to the punch!)

  6. So gross. Ew, ew, ew…. And yet I can’t stop grinning. You make me laugh at the weirdest stuff sometimes…

    Fun post, Natalie!

  7. Ok Natalie, as requested – Note to Hubby “You’ve definitely gone too far this time!” (But we still love you.)

  8. Haha! I don’t know whether to keep laughing, throw up or get excited. (KIDDING about that last one.) The notion loses it’s luster at the word ‘dump.’ I’m fascinated by words, even those that bode best long after meals. 😉 Love this post…totally bold and entertaining. I think you’re hubby rocks.

  9. Okay. Totally gross! But I was grinning the entire time I was reading the post and all the comments. You never cease to entertain my dear and hubby too! What a great team you make. 🙂 But that word and the act are something I will never be part of. So beyond yack!

  10. Um, your husband needs counseling. Seriously.

    No, wait. I think he might have a good chance of being an erotica writer. ; )

  11. So funny and yet so…not, lol…the ‘not’ being the act itself. Disgusting! But it did make me chuckle. It reminds me of a brief ‘career’ a few years ago answering questions for ChaCha. Thanks to a forum of other shocked and grossed out ‘guides’ (their classy name for us overworked SERIOUSLY underpaid suckers), I only actually ever learned what a Dirty Sanchez and an Alabama Hot Pocket were (you DON’T want to know). There was actually had a thread on their forum where many guides listed terms like that. Most of us kept a list of them handy so we could enter the term somewhere on the site and the ChaCha database would send the caller an answer…without polluting OUR minds.

    I actually got a warning because I sent a request to the food section for the Alabama Hot Pocket. I just figured it was a southern version of the Hot Pockets we can buy in the freezer section of our GROCERY STORES. So, SO wrong… But I protested the warning. How the heck was I supposed to know?

    Sometimes I suppose this information is good to know though. I mean, now I know if someone ever asks me if I want to participate in a blumpkin I wouldn’t be out of line to say, “Sure, why not. But can we first play a game I like to call the Lorena Bobbit?” 🙂

    • O.M.G that is HYSTERICAL! Sent the caller to the naughty Hot Pocket rather than the food – classic! I have no idea what an Alabama Hot Pocket it and…I am going to have to find out…eeeekkeee…I’m scared. LOL!
      Love your anticipated response to the blumpkin! I have long since learned that when hubby comes home and asks odd questions with weird words, to refuse immediately because it’s never pleasant. LOL!

  12. Yeah, it cracks me up every time I imagine the look on the face of the food expert I sent THAT question to! Good thinking on the refusal for odd questions. I don’t get too many of those kinds, but never, ever say okay when someone asks if I can do them a favor. Tell me what it is first, and then I’ll give you my answer. 🙂

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