Urban Word Wednesday: Masturcising

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Masturcising: The act of masturbating while on a piece of exercise equipment.

Examples Of Use:

Two weeks ago, hubby came home with a new-to-us Bowflex. Yippee! 20 minutes, 3-times a week and soon we’ll have ourselves Bowflex bodies. I can’t wait.

Shortly after hubby got this honking piece of gear set up in all its glory, he turned to me with a twinkle in his eye and we had the following conversation.

Hubby: “So…you wanna do it on the Bowflex??? I think this bench is the perfect height!

Me: “Eeeeewww…right here in the living room???

Hubby: “Oh yeah…come on…it’d be hot!

Me: “Uummm…how about you just jerk off on it instead??? Instead of exercising you could be masturcising!”

Me: “OMG, I just created a new word for the urban dictionary; masturcising. The act of masturbating on a piece of exercise equipment. SWEET! Where’s my laptop?

Hubby: “I give up.

Are you a masturcisor or do you use your gear in its intended fashion? Share the wealth…



  1. I was left with more “bow” than “flex”!

  2. Jillian Dodd says:

    You totally should have done it with hubby and called is exersex or bowflexsex!!!

  3. I can’t take it! But, in a good way, in a ,what-the-hell-is-she-gonna-say-next, way. I agree, though, you should have done it on the darn thing.

  4. Is this a Canadian thing? I thought sex was a form of exercise. I did not know that it had to be done on a machine! LOL!!!!!

    • LOL!! It is…and hubby wants to do it everywhere. LOL!!

      • Encourage that behavior, Natalie! Better to do it in every room on every piece of furniture than to have a hubby who does not give you the wiggling eyebrows *if you know what I mean*

        I already told my honey, we’re having “vacation sex” till we’re 90.

        • You are my hero Jenny!!

          When I read your comment to hubby, I think he might have become even more smitten with you!! LOL!!

          NOW that’s the way to live life!! You are so right…I love the wiggling eyebrows!! And here’s to lovin’ em well into our 90s.

  5. OMG. I. Am. Dying. I kid you not, I have had this conversation with That Man, though not over a Bowflex.

    Now, I have to know what part of Canada you’re in. I’m starting to think you may just be long lost family 😀

    • Ahhh!!! I am not alone in my plight!! That helps…hehehe…
      I am in NB, where are you??? Definitely must be long lost family!! LOL!!

      • I’m in Vegas but have family coast to coast in Canada, Dad’s side is from SK and Mum’s (I refuse to pronounce it ‘mum’ and spell it ‘mom’ even if my aunt claims it’s Canada’s way of not offending anyone, LOL) is from ON.

  6. OMG!!! I made myself edit all day, but I kept thinking… I wonder if Natalie has the word up yet! I don’t think I’ll ever look at a Bowflex the same way again. Now I’ll picture buffed up Hubby doing his thang. Cracking up, here!

    This was so worth the wait. Thank you for today’s laugh!

  7. I just have one question, “Oh, Portmanteau Goddess.” (That’s PG for short.) Did you get it into the Urban Dictionary yet???

    • PG – luv it!! Anything with Goddess is up my alley! :)))
      Absolutely. To be honest, it already existed but with a “less” exciting definition so I submitted my own and it was accepted. So if you click on the link, definition 1 is mine…woot woot!!!
      Going down in history baby!! Portmanteauing my little heart out.

  8. This time I screamed before I laughed out loud! Just. Too. Funny.

  9. *Dying* This might be the best edition of Urban Word Wednesday yet.

  10. I’m at a loss for words at this post and these comments! Suddenly I’m a living blog! I can die happy now! But I guess I’ll always have awesome-sauce!

  11. I’ll never look at those Bowflex info-mercials the same way again. I agree with Jenny; christen every room. Our first child was born 9 months after we moved in to our new house. We didn’t even have all the boxes unpacked yet, LOL.

    Thanks for the a.m. laugh-fest, Nat!

  12. I will always think of you two perverts when I see the Bowflex commercials now. Although I do agree about christening every room – it’s a must!

  13. Wow. Now I’m tempted to give the rest of my weights to Piper’s teenage son and buy a Bowflex. The English language can always use a little help so thanks for your contribution. Best of luck with the Bowflex.

    • HOLMES! OMG – loved your interview with Ellie Ann and am super honored you visited my humble blog.
      I have no doubt your wife will love the Bowflex as much as I love mine. LOL!
      I am happy to contribute to the English language since my calling in life is to make everything sparkle. LOL!

  14. kerrymeacham says:

    Hummm. There’s so many ways I could go with this, but they’ll all be sleezy. HEY, kinda like the Bowflex!!! Did you tell hubs who recommended the Bowflex to you on Twitter? You gotta give credit where credit is due, Nat. Now I’ve got to figure out how to get mine out of my dingy basement up to our bedroom without taking the damn thing apart. Sounds like a weekend project. ~clink~

    • Thasss right….if it wasn’t for you Kerry, we wouldn’t have the fine piece of sex…opps I mean gym equipment in the house! Woot woot! 🙂 I am sure your wife can’t WAIT to see yours in the bedroom. She’ll totally dig that. LOL!! Enjoy your weekend project and don’t forget to write me a very sweet thank you letter for introducing you to the new “joys” of the Bowflex. LOL!

  15. Bowflex sex. A whole new way to exercise. Why not? You’d be getting sweaty anyway, right? You and hubby crack me up.


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