Urban Word Wednesday: Masturbexting

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary (…and sometimes hubby). You are gonna love these!

Today’s urban word is featured on the urban dictionary’s site and was submitted by…yes…you guessed it: HUBBY!!! I am soooo…proud!

Masturbexting: One sided sexting or sexting alone. If you send a sext and get a single word reply like ‘No’, ‘Nope’, ‘Yup’ or no simply no reply at all. Or you might be masturbexting if you are playing both roles in the sext conversation (i.e.: replying to sexting messages to yourself, after the original went unanswered.)

Hubby’s new urban word creation (he’s soooo creative that guy….wowzers!) was born from Jenny Hansen’s post on sexting! Masturbexting is the deliciously naughty second-cousin once removed to sexting.

Examples Of Use:

Unfortunately for hubby, he’s a Jedi Knight Masturbexter (sorry hubby, don’t mean to lay all your shit bare here on ‘la blog’ but…I gotta call a spade a spade). But take note, it’s not his fault. It’s due to the fact that I….am a sexting moron. There….I said it…I owned my shit! What can I say…it just doesn’t do it for me. Our sexting always turns into hubby’s masturbexting. Case in point:

Hubby Sext: I am so hot for you right now. Picture it. I am slipping off your shirt.

My reply: K

Hubby Sext: I am sliding my hand up your leg, slowly caressing your thigh.

My reply: Yip

Hubby Sext:Check out the attached special picture…huh…huh??? Like that???

My reply: Is that your sock? Is it a clean sock or a dirty-warn-all-day sock? Cause that’ll change things…ewwww…

Hubby: Seriously?!?!?!

My reply: I’m sorry…this is just weird….

Seeeee….sexting moron of a wife. Oh well, there are worse things!

Do you masturbext? Share the wealth…wait…on second thought, don’t. LOL!



  1. LOL- so funny! I don;t text at all- but this word might wind up in a book someday.

  2. LMFAO at this post! He hinted that you were a sexting dud when Y’ALL BLOGJACKED ME but I didn’t believe it till I read this post. ahahahahahaha….

    • WAHAHAHAHAHAHA We totally blogjacked you, eh?! Alas…I hope you’ll forgive us although we are totally likely to do it again. LOL.

      Yip, I am a total dud in this department. Poor hubby…the sacrifices he’s had to make. LOL!!

      • You know I enjoy the way the Hartfords “jack around” (*cough* Blog sluts! *cough*). The fun thing about the party atmosphere at More Cowbell is that partying in the comments is welcomed and encouraged. How else would I know your Hubby was a Masturbexting Nympho??

        • O.M.G. Jenny you totally crack me up! I am thrilled you enjoy my and hubby’s little jack escapades and glimpses into the inner workings of our FAB world! I mean…learning that hubby is a masturbexting nympho might scare most people off but not you!! A true friend…we adore you…muah! xoxox

      • Masturbexter – check
        Nympho – check
        Knit elephant thong – check
        Mundies – check

  3. p.s. Thanks for the shout-out, but I’m coughing now because you made me laugh so hard so I have to go dose myself.

  4. OMFG. I’m on the phone with my sister ~ who is complaining about her job (yeah, I’m such a good listening sister, aren’t I???) And I’m reading this laughing my butt off. She thinks her story is hilarious and that I’m laughing at her! Too awesome. I’ll never tell, but I’m laughing at this post!

    Your sexting up there cracked me up to the Nth degree! Poor Hubby. He’s all into it and you’re like, sorry, not working for me. I. Love. It.

    Yeah, I’m so planning a trip to Canada and you know what, we might have to let Hubby come to Vegas next year as our honorary dude Wana711.

    I’m sending this to my husband (who was thrilled! with Jenny’s Mundies post). Oh. My. Heck.

  5. asraidevin says:

    You two are awesome.

    “Huh like that picture?
    Is that sock clean or dirty?”

    LOL. I’m always thinking about other things while hubby’s trying to get me to relax.

  6. ROFL – Loved your sexting confessional, Nat! I have to admit I’m the same way. Back in the day when phone sex was the old sexting, it just made me want to go “… huh?” and burst out laughing! There was no faking it then! Can we help it if our motto is “Just do it!” … ?!?
    By the way, congrats to Hubby on getting his word accepted into the Urban Dictionary. Seriously!
    p.s. My problem with visuals of your Hubby after Christmas will be … is he or is he not wearing the knitted blue elephant thong thingy? Do you think he’ll bring it to Vegas … ?

    • Oh, he has to bring it to Vegas or he’s not allowed in the hotel. Absolutely!

      Patricia, once when I was young and stupid, I got a job at one of those phone sex places. I lasted 10 minutes of listening to my boss ~ that’s how they trained the newbies, and get this, there is a script! I couldn’t take more than 10 minutes before I was laughing my way out the door. For the next three years, every time I drove past the building I’d crack up.

    • Yip…glad to know I am not alone in my inability to ‘get into it’! LOL!

      Hubby is pretty proud of his contribution! :))

      Ohhhh…hehehe…you will have to stay tuned to hear about the elephant trunk mundies! LOL! :))

    • In my deepest barry white impression –
      Hey Tameri – how long did you really work at 1-900-Taint Ticklers? LOL!

  7. Okay, what I want to know is, what did you all take during the previous wana classes? Really, was it some kind of funny pink pill or what? (Yes, I said the pink word for you Natalie!) You guys are hillarious! What ever it was, we need some of that in the wana1011 class. Do tell!

    I’m sorry to say that over the many years, my hubby and I haven’t done the sexting thing. I do admit receiving some hot little messages on voicemail that I have saved over the years in the archives. I can see that we are missing out! Except I worry about the message going to the wrong place. Do I recall that happening to someone else we all know?

    This post is a hot one Natalie.

    • Karen, keep working it with your group! You never know what might happen. Mind you … it didn’t take us very long to reveal ourselves and once we got going there’s been NO stopping us …

    • Yip, we are all on the pink pills – LOL! Honestly, I think we are just a group of people who came together, CLICKED like no one’s business, hit it off, and are all trying to have FUN in the blogosphere. Join in ANYTIME Karen. Wana711 or Wana1011 – we are ALL WANA!!! 🙂
      Ummmm…I definitely sent a text…..ummmm…about being in the bathroom…to…ummm…hubby…but yes, it went to a wrong number although the person never wrote me back so?!?!??! Yes…it does happen and it would totally happen to me I am SURE! LOL!!!

  8. HIlarious, Nat! There a WANA711 party in Vegas? I wanna go play with my 711 girls! My hubby doesn’t text and thinks “all this sexting is stupid and why not just do the real thing, for cryin’ out loud”. I told him I’d be into it if I were still single! Why not? Great post, Natalie.

    • Glad you enjoyed it Marcia and absolutely – we are takling about Vegas 2012 (although not sure I can swing it $$$) so you’ll have to plan to come! It’ll be a hoot…LOL!!
      WAHAHAHA – your hubby and you are roles reversed to hubby and I – love it!!! Why not? Soooo true! LOL!

  9. OK, my Hubby weighed in:

    What’s he doing sending her a picture of a cock sock? And if it’s a dirty sock, she’s right…that is kinda Ewwwww.

  10. OMG! I was laughing sooo hard I couldn’t stop! That was to #&*! funny! Natalie, you are a total hoot! And Karen, I think the problem pulling that out of our group is that there are so many of us. It’s easier to find in smaller groups. But I can totally see that type of personality in a few. We could get there. And who says we can’t blur the lines? Right?

  11. Are you *sure* that was really a sock? Perhaps that was a mundie!

    Seriously, Natalie, the original ‘masterbexting’ exchange had me dying with laughter over at Jenny’s blog, and now you have just intensified the laughs 100 fold. Such an awesome entry for Urban Dictionary.

  12. This is the second blog I have read today in which every comment was by a female. The first was Myndi Shafer’s guest blog “The Underwear Drawer” on Debra Kristi’s blog. I get the feeling I’ve walked into a room full of women and if I listen hard enough I might discover all of the secrets. Maybe I’m not supposed to be reading this stuff. But it’s so damn funny I can’t stop. Please don’t tell my buddies – they will surely take my man card away.

    • Tim, your secret is safe with me. Here’s to keeping your man card! LOL!
      It’s nice to have a bit of man-power on the blogs so drop by anytime. Trust me, hubby reads every one of my posts and follows a few of the blogs as well.



  1. […] “girl” doing anything. I chalked it up to hubby’s sick and perverted imagination (I mean…dirty, wool cock sock…need I say […]

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