Dear Santa…I’d like the NEW hitch stripper pole

Image from PlatinumStages.com

I know…you’ve probably run into the same problem I have with your portable stripper pole, eh?! The damn thing shakes loose from the ceiling at (of course) the most inopportune time. There you are…in that crucial split circle move when suddenly you come crashing to the ground – ouch! Can you say sooo not sexy! It always puts a real snag in my performance.

Well ladies (and maybe some gentlemen…I don’t discriminate or judge…), now we can toss out those portable and obviously unsafe stripper poles and get ourselves the Platinum Stage Hitch Pole. This baby isn’t going anywhere! Albeit, it’s a bit more weather dependent.

Image from PlatinumStages.com

You can say you saw it here first. This dancer pole (classier than calling it a stripper pole because obviously we don’t all strip when we pole dance…duh…it’s the latest fitness craze ya know?!?!) can be attached to the ball hitch of any truck or SUV.

Can you say freaking awesome?!?!! It’s 7 feet of pole dancing heaven that I can take with me and whip out at tailgate parties, weddings, family BBQs….SWEET! I will be a hit. Maybe I’ll even wear my old sash and crown. Eeekeee!!!

Hold on to your hats, there’s more. It has…get this…a 3 foot by 3 foot STAGE that floats approximately 5 feet from the ground. A STAGE…O.M.G. You all know I LOVE a STAGE!!! I bet I could even hook up my Karaoke machine and SING while pole DANCING. I’ll be the new traveling tailgate road show…hubby will be soooo proud!

This sucker is made of the highest quality steel and supports up to 200 lbs. Sorry hubby, you’ll have to drop a few pounds before you can play on it. Dem’s de rules!

The choices are endless. It comes in genuine high polished stainless steel or genuine high polished brass. I think I’ll go with brass…I think gives it a more “professional” feel, don’t you think? And the pole breaks down into two pieces allowing it to fit in any size car. They simply thought of everything!

It starts around $399. Now don’t all rush our to order one immediately (even though I know you wanna…) because they best have some in stock when I order mine!!

I am telling ya…the gems I turn you guys on to…ahhamazing! First the beer belt, then Megan McGlover and now this. Will the fun never end?! 

It’s Twisted Tuesday and that means it’s time to enjoy a smile, giggle or laugh…here’s hoping I’ve provided it in spades…enjoy!

What’s cracked you up this week?

P.S. This post is not meant to offend any professional or amateur pole dancers. It’s simply meant to be entertaining. I respect all pole dancers. 

Advertisements

Comments

  1. Jillian Dodd - Glitter, Bliss and Perfect Chaos says:

    This puts my portable beer pong table to shame. I must have one for our next tailgate! Imagine it at a Jimmy Buffet concert!

  2. Nancy J Nicholson says:

    I can actually see this on the beaches in FL. It’d be an improvement on some of the sights. Not for me of course. I’ll leave the inventory to you. 😉

  3. Oh. My. Heck.

    I would comment, but I’m laughing so hard and you know, it’s hard to order a stripper pole, comment, and laugh at the same time. If only it came in pink. Damn.

    How do I get me one of those beer pong tables, too? You ladies sure know how to party!

    • I KNOW…if only it came in PINK! Now that would make it PERFECT!!! I’d order two in case one wore out…LOL!!!
      I agree, I gotta get in touch with Jillian and this beer pong table!!
      Urban rednecks baby; we know where the fun is at! 🙂

  4. OMG, I’m laughing too hard to even comment LOL (ok, I know I just did – go with it)

  5. Natalie, you are a hoot! I love your blog. Not showing this to hubby, though. I’m afraid he’d get me one for Christmas.

    • High praise coming from you Piper – thank YOU! Glad you are enjoying it so much. Feels great to have so much fun writing. I think hubby went and ordered one immediately…lol!! BTW, loved you advice post today!! :))

  6. Paint it pink and get your workout on the way to…anywhere! You’ll definitely stop traffic! And a stage?! You’ll be in heaven! Thanks for the laughs, Natalie!

  7. SAAWEEET!!! And with this baby using the bumper hitch, I am still free to use the gooseneck for the horse trailer! Win Win! I will be the star of the next State Fair!

  8. Okay, I’ve made an appointment with a psychiatrist. You ladies are out of control and I can’t stop laughing. Obviously I have a problem. While you’re talking stripper poles, beer pong tables, beer can belts, and whatever, I’ve just quoted Mother Theresa in my post. Help!

  9. Funniest damn thing I saw all week will be on my Thursday post. I laughed for at least 10 minutes and watched the 4 minute video TWICE.

    Soooo love the stripper pole idea. I sent the email to my honey so he can get it ordered before the next WANA event. We can all take turns.

  10. An afterthought – I think you should get Megan McGlover to report on your first performance!

  11. Thanks to Jenny Hansen for sending me to your blog. I’m laughing so hard right now. This will be on every man’s Xmas list:)

  12. I’m in Florida…..which means that I’ll probably be seeing this at the beach……that’s how we roll in the Sunshine State.

  13. Anne Marie Hartford says:

    I definitely want me one of them!!!!!!

  14. WOW…that is awesome Nat!!!! I sooooo want one:o) Love the blog BTW

    • Glad you enjoyed Jenn! 🙂
      Thanks so much for stopping by and the blog luv! I didn’t realize you were blogging…wow…I am on my way to check our your blog digs! 🙂

  15. Woot woot – thanks for the shout out. I’ll absolutely bring my truck and stripper pole and we can all channel our inner dancers!!

Trackbacks

  1. […] This first one comes from the ever-funny Natalie Hartford’s blog, via writer/blogger/super-tech-wondergal Jenny Hansen (click here for Jenny’s fab “more […]

  2. […] her Twisted Tuesday post, Dear Santa – I’d Like the NEW Hitch Stripper Pole, Natalie Hartford  asked us all what had cracked us up lately. Not 12 hours before, I’d […]

  3. […] Hartford delivers yet again in this hysterical post about the hottest new party trend…you gotta read […]

  4. […] my blog buddy Natalie Hartford didn’t disappoint with her Twisted Tuesday post Dear Santa…I’d Like the NEW Hitch Stripper Pole.  This must have “dancing pole” comes with its own stage and makes taking your act on the road […]

  5. […] Let’s be straight here. I was STRESSED all week. Like my god…how was I going to TOP the trailer hitch stripper pole?!?! Shit, I think I came out to strong, to early. I set the bar to high. And then…I found it. My […]

  6. […] was a blast. Maybe for THIS party, Natalie Hartford will bring her truck with the hitch stripper pole… Perhaps our Pale Mistress of Exceptional Bellydancing, Piper Bayard, will show up and give […]

  7. […] Chaos, don’t you think? She posts on relevant things like being a douchebag when golfing,  the new trailer hitch stripper pole, and her Urban Word (where she teaches us words like Blogjacking and Freudian Click) She cracks […]

  8. […] gotta be honest. I can’t pull any punches. Flat out….it’s not sexy. It’s no hitch stripper pole. But what it lacks sex appeal, it’s makes up for in uberlicious […]

  9. […] (tailgating or out in the deep woods) and you just finished your uberlicious performance on the trailer hitch stripper pole. You were hot. You rocked the pole. Everyone wants to be […]

  10. […] fit (no matter the size), Twisted Tuesdays (with stuff like sunglasses that rock my beer! or the new trailer hitch stripper pole).  I must admit I looked into that one for my dancing arsenal.  And her Urban Word Wednesdays […]

  11. […] fit (no matter the size), Twisted Tuesdays (with stuff like sunglasses that rock my beer! or the new trailer hitch stripper pole), and her Urban Word Wednesdays (where she teaches us words like masturcising and vajazzle) always […]

  12. […] as women peeing standing up, Twisted Tuesday fun with stuff like sunglasses that rock my beer or a new trailer hitch stripper pole, and her Urban Word Wednesdays where she teaches us words like masturcising and […]

  13. […] as women peeing standing up, Twisted Tuesday fun with stuff like sunglasses that rock my beer or a new trailer hitch stripper pole, and her Urban Word Wednesdays where she teaches us words like masturcising and […]

  14. […] last year, I’ve featured a couple trailer hitch inventions that totally rock. The trailer hitch stripper pole (a personal fav), tv stand, and who could forget last week’s bumper dumper – all creature […]

Don't be shy...tell me what you think

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: