Dear Santa…I’d like the NEW hitch stripper pole

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I know…you’ve probably run into the same problem I have with your portable stripper pole, eh?! The damn thing shakes loose from the ceiling at (of course) the most inopportune time. There you are…in that crucial split circle move when suddenly you come crashing to the ground – ouch! Can you say sooo not sexy! It always puts a real snag in my performance.

Well ladies (and maybe some gentlemen…I don’t discriminate or judge…), now we can toss out those portable and obviously unsafe stripper poles and get ourselves the Platinum Stage Hitch Pole. This baby isn’t going anywhere! Albeit, it’s a bit more weather dependent.

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You can say you saw it here first. This dancer pole (classier than calling it a stripper pole because obviously we don’t all strip when we pole dance…duh…it’s the latest fitness craze ya know?!?!) can be attached to the ball hitch of any truck or SUV.

Can you say freaking awesome?!?!! It’s 7 feet of pole dancing heaven that I can take with me and whip out at tailgate parties, weddings, family BBQs….SWEET! I will be a hit. Maybe I’ll even wear my old sash and crown. Eeekeee!!!

Hold on to your hats, there’s more. It has…get this…a 3 foot by 3 foot STAGE that floats approximately 5 feet from the ground. A STAGE…O.M.G. You all know I LOVE a STAGE!!! I bet I could even hook up my Karaoke machine and SING while pole DANCING. I’ll be the new traveling tailgate road show…hubby will be soooo proud!

This sucker is made of the highest quality steel and supports up to 200 lbs. Sorry hubby, you’ll have to drop a few pounds before you can play on it. Dem’s de rules!

The choices are endless. It comes in genuine high polished stainless steel or genuine high polished brass. I think I’ll go with brass…I think gives it a more “professional” feel, don’t you think? And the pole breaks down into two pieces allowing it to fit in any size car. They simply thought of everything!

It starts around $399. Now don’t all rush our to order one immediately (even though I know you wanna…) because they best have some in stock when I order mine!!

I am telling ya…the gems I turn you guys on to…ahhamazing! First the beer belt, then Megan McGlover and now this. Will the fun never end?! 

It’s Twisted Tuesday and that means it’s time to enjoy a smile, giggle or laugh…here’s hoping I’ve provided it in spades…enjoy!

What’s cracked you up this week?

P.S. This post is not meant to offend any professional or amateur pole dancers. It’s simply meant to be entertaining. I respect all pole dancers. 

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