Things I wish someone would have told me at 18

Wow, now there’s a loaded subject title. I could go on for hours – the list is extensive. But let me try to pull out some highlights.

I wish someone would have told me that there was no need to have my entire life revolve around a boy; having a boyfriend, keeping a boyfriend, losing a boyfriend, chasing a new boyfriend etc. Boys simply occupied way too much of my time – bending and shaping myself into different pretzels in the hope that someone I liked would like me to. My entire being and self-love was centered about a boy’s approval, acceptance and love. Life has so much more to offer and especially at that age when every opportunity is presenting itself like a Christmas present. I let the “wanting” of some guy dictate way too many decisions and choices and will never be able to get that time back. Thankfully, I still managed to get to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but I must have near given my mother a heart attack with my path.

I wish someone would have told me that loving myself was more than thinking I was hot and skinny and that HOW I thought about myself deeply drove a lot of my behaviors and choices. Although I am pretty sure my mother preached this one to me a million times to no avail. I am not sure if, as a girl coming into womanhood at 18, I even had a milligram of the maturity required to not only understand this concept, but to embrace it and do the work necessary to see it at work. My god…how I sure do wish I would have taken my mother way more seriously – go figure, she knew what she was talking about!

I wish someone would have told me that there is no meal replacement for self-respect. Once you trade it and let go of it with trashy choices, it’s gone and it’s a lot of hard work to get it back.

I wish someone would have told me to have the self-confidence to stand up for myself (not in a violent, drunken kind of shouting way); to feel confident in who I was to express my thoughts, feelings, wants, needs, choices, and decisions assertively and with authenticity. And to know that I was “OKAY” just the way I was. And that anyone who called me “crazy” was likely a little off-the-wall themselves because it takes one to know one!

I wish someone would have told me that it does not matter what anyone else thinks about anything in this world. In the end, the only opinion that matters one iota is MY OWN! To go out and live life by my own rules, to carve out my journey and destiny like there was no tomorrow, and to give up being so afraid to live, die, or make a mistake. To just LIVE authentically, with no apologies, guided by self-love and self-respect.

I wish someone would have told me that I could just relax and have fun, I didn’t need to try so hard…cause I’d get it figured out pretty good by 30!

What do you wish someone would have told you at 18?

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Comments

  1. That sex can wait.

  2. Ooo…18 was a hard, life trajectory changing year for me. I’d say I wish someone would have told me it was okay to reach out for help. And that it was okay to still hang on to being a kid.

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