A few weeks ago, I read an article in Women’s Health about why people cheat. Researchers are exploring how our hormones can flare up and cause a literal chemical reaction within our brain that they think actually makes it harder to say “no” and easier to say “ohhhhh yes…” playing a definite role in people’s choices.
In relationships in the past, monogamy did not always come easy to me. I cheated for a number of reasons – I wanted an out, I was more interested in someone else, I was bored, and sometimes for no specific reason at all. And yes, I can most certainly say that there was an internal chemical and hormonal reaction that played a role making it difficult to say “no” once those lines started to get crossed and blurred. The pounding heart, the excitement, the anticipation, the thrill, the adrenaline – talk about a rush!
So can I chalk up my past indiscretions to chemicals, absolve myself of my guilt, and lay my choices at the feet of my hormones entirely?
Absolutely not! There are a number of ingredients that come into play when a person decides to cross over to the dark side. Hormones and chemicals are definitely part of the mix. An unhappy relationship; doesn’t help but I don’t think “causes” infidelity.
Honestly, I think the main reason people cheat is because they don’t think any better of themselves.
In the end, I cheated because I didn’t respect and love myself enough to know that I was worth better choices and decisions. It was a reflection of what I thought of myself rather than a reflection of the state of my relationship or the height of my hormones.
Now at 35, married for the second time, having been faithful for nearly six years, I can be sure that I won’t cheat again – not because I promised I wouldn’t, not because I am so in love with my husband (although I am), not because society says it’s wrong – I won’t ever cheat again because I know that I am worth so much more than that, because I believe I deserve better, and because nothing that makes me feel badly about myself is ever worth doing – no matter what the hormonal rush!
Why have you cheated in the past? Or what has stopped you from cheating? Do you think hormones can really take over entirely?