Tie a MADD Canada red ribbon and show the world you pledge to drive sober

Across Canada, local chapters of MADD Canada are launching the Project Red Ribbon campaign. From November 1st to the first Monday after New Year’s Day, local Chapters together with area businesses are asking residents of their communities to tie a MADD Canada red ribbon to their antenna, side mirror or other visible location on the vehicle and/or on their key chain, purse, backpack or briefcase.

The red ribbon is a small but powerful symbol. It signifies a person’s commitment to drive safe and sober during the holiday season and throughout the year. It also serves as a tribute to all victims who have been killed or injured in impaired driving crashes.

Project Red Ribbon targets the Christmas and New Year holiday season because it is the busiest time of year on most social calendars; with so many social gatherings and holiday toasts, there is a high risk for impaired driving.

And this year is especially uberlicious because it marks the 25th anniversary of Project Red Ribbon and a 25-year-long partnership with Allstate Insurance Company. Can you imagine? How often do you hear about a 25-year-long corporate partnership? Love it!

In that time, Allstate Canada has been a supporter of many of MADD Canada’s programs, including Project Red RibbonCampaign 911 and the School Assembly Program, as well as numerous statistical and research publications, resources for victims and other resource, education and awareness materials. Not to mention, Allstate Canada is the Title Sponsor of the 2012 Project Red Ribbon campaign.

In honour of the 25th annual Project Red Ribbon campaign, a special statement is being released by Prime Minister Stephen Harper, and Member Statements are being read in the House of Commons and the Senate. Across the country, provincial/territorial proclamations, statements or other observances to mark Project Red Ribbon are happening in: Newfoundland and Labrador, Prince Edward Island, Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, Québec, Manitoba, Saskatchewan, Alberta, British Columbia, the Yukon and Nunavut.

It breaks my heart and is so unfortunate that we continue to need campaigns such as this. Sad that impaired driving isn’t a thing of the past. Despite federal and provincial/territorial laws and penalties, police enforcement and awareness efforts, and despite the obvious risk of crash, death and injury, people are still getting behind the wheel impaired. On average, every single day, 4 Canadians die and 174 are injured in impairment-related crashes. That’s almost 1,500 deaths and over 63,000 injured every year. Impaired driving is the leading criminal cause of death in Canada.

It’s unacceptable that this year tens of thousands additional family members and friends will have to cope with the loss of a loved one or with a serious injury, all because someone chose to drive impaired. Impaired driving is not an ‘accident’ – someone makes a decision to get behind the wheel impaired. It’s 100% preventable.

So….this holiday season:

  • Plan ahead for your holiday events, and encourage your families and friends to do the same.
  • Take a cab, take public transit, arrange a designated driver or plan to stay the night.
  • And remember, if you see an impaired driver, call 911 and report that driver. The call may just save a life.

You can get your red ribbon by donating online at MADD Canada’s web site, visiting one of MADD Canada’s many sponsors’ outlets, or contacting your nearest MADD Canada Chapter or Community Leader.

Everyone in Canada (and around the world) has the power to stop this senseless and needless crime.

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Did you know about the Project Red Ribbon campaign? Will you wear your red ribbons with pride? How else do you publically display your commitment to drive sober? I’d love to hear your thoughts…

On August 1, 2009, my beautiful mother-in-law’s life was cut tragically short by an impaired driver and my stepson’s life changed forever. In honor of Donna and Jordan Kennie, please don’t drink and drive. Impaired driving is 100% preventable. Think about it.

Support MADD Canada and follow them on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and on the Web.

Text MADD to 45678 to donate $5 today. Report impaired drivers – CALL 911.

More blog deliciousness here:

Death by swimming…in the garage?

So y’all know that hubby and I beat ourselves up weekly in Death by Swimming. After a summer of overindulging in bountiful BBQ and beers, come September through April we actually voluntarily sign-up for an hourly weekly fitness swimming class (the class is actually designed with triathletes in mind…please note, we are NOT even close to triathletes). Every Monday evening, we drag our summer pudged bodies to the local indoor swimming pool where our militant coach issues swimming orders like a well trained captain! Up and down the pool we go as if being chased by sharks. Wheezing, weak and weary, we battle the bulge, foggy goggles and skin-tight swim gear does nothing for the gunt…it’s no Spanks…just sayin’.

Another glorious part to Death by Swimming is the pool walk of shame. Since our class takes place along the far end of the pool, we are forced to trudge our flabby folds past the toddlers and teenagers in training. But that’s not the worse part, because they could care less. It’s their fabulous folks all sitting high up in the viewing hall that makes this a walk of shame.

I try to hold my head high and “work the runway” as always but I gotta say people…wearing the swimsuit from hell and my latex swim cap that’s earned me the nickname “Foreskin”, it’s tough to feel high fashion.

But fear not, I have found the solution.

Meet, the swimmer’s treadmill, by Hammacher Schlemmer.

Now I realize here in New Brunswick, the outdoor pool season is a bit short given that fall and winter weather make it near impossible to be outside, let alone in a pool. But…at only 65 square feet, we could set the swimmer’s treadmill up in our garage (I didn’t want to park the car there anyway…I actually enjoy cleaning off 10 feet of snow every morning) meaning YEAR-ROUND swimming people.

With a harness that wraps around a swimmer’s waist (22 to 42 inches) and flexible elastic tether, the contraption suspends the swimmer in the water so he/she can actually swim laps…all in the space of an SUV. How uberlicious is THAT?!

This means year-round, any-day-of-the-week swimming. And no more pool walks of shame. I mean hell; I could even train in the buff if I wanted to. A new tune comes to mind: it’s my garage and I’ll swim in the nude if I want to.

At 4 and 1/2 feet tall, it can be filled with 1500 gallons of fresh, chlorinated or saltwater and it comes with a pump and filter which maintains optimal water cleanliness. A built-in ladder provides easy entries and exit. Although I’m hoping hubby could hook me up with some kind of jungle rope so I could have some real fun getting in and out. Or maybe rig something up with the garage door opener?!?!?

Wait…it gets better. It also provides varying resistance for stronger strokes or kicks with more resistance. I mean…we don’t get THAT at Death by Swimming!

The swimmer’s treadmill is supported by a sturdy powder-coated steel frame, the pool’s liner is made from rip- and tear-resistant PVC-coated 2,000-denier polyester fabric and the included floor mat provides further protection for the pool’s bottom. Not to mention, if it’s in the garage and we have a little leak, just open the door. Voila! And…it requires no special plumbing or electrical.

As a little bonus, THINK of the garage parties we could have with this. Pull out the harness contraption, toss in the floaties and the remote control hostess and BAM…it’s pool party time in December!

I  mean…where else are can you get an indoor pool for $1400?!?! After 14 swimming classes (about 3.5 years), it’d be paying for itself. Hell, we could even rent it hourly to friends and family to recoup cost.

I say brilliant! Who’s with me?

What kind of in-home fitness equipment do you have? Would you consider a swimmer’s treadmill? Help me convince hubby this is a must have for us. Come on…share the wealth…

It’s Twisted Tuesday and that means it’s time to enjoy a smile, giggle or laugh…here’s hoping I’ve provided it in spades…enjoy!

More blog deliciousness here:

Bad lip reading videos?! Luv it!

I’ve been in fits of giggles watching Bad Lip Reading videos. The creators of these hilarious videos take clips from movies, TV shows, music, politicians etc, and input new voiceovers that are synced to work with the person’s lips. Doesn’t always make sense but still a RIOT!

“The Hunger Games” — A Bad Lip Reading

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“Edward and Bella” — A Bad Lip Reading of Twilight

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For more Bad Lip Reading video fun, be sure to check out their YouTube channel.

What video do you think Bad Lip Reading should do next? Come on…share the wealth…

It’s Twisted Tuesday and that means it’s time to enjoy a smile, giggle or laugh…here’s hoping I’ve provided it in spades…enjoy!

More blog deliciousness here:

Missed Connections…the truth revealed

Yesterday, Jenny and I shared a little Missed Connections fun with y’all and I have to say, you guys leave the BEST comments. Here and over at Jenny’s, I’ve been rolling on the floor laughing my butt off. Love it!

So today, as promised, the truth shall be revealed.

Let’s start with my post.

Which Missed Connection was fake?

  1. REAL: I missed you…shit  23.53% voted for it being the fake…But it’s real (although the post has been deleted by its author, it was the real deal).
  2. REAL: The big blue box  11.76% voted for it being the fake…But it’s real. I can’t even begin to imagine what this big blue box is…a new term I am unaware of? Must investigate further!
  3. FAKE: To the cute guy in lime green tank at gym by 6 am  41.18% voted for it being the fake…You guys are BRILLIANT and totally picked me out. All I did was write about what I want to do to hubby…all the time…growl! Maybe that was the dead give away as Gloria suggested in the comments…dang! I am so transparent.
  4. REAL: Just can’t get my head around  5.88% voted for it to be fake. But it’s real. Sounds like this lady has had a bit of a rough time. I’d say go with option 1) the guy is a jerk.
  5. REAL: You stuck my flash drive in your vagina  17.65% voted for it being the fake…but it’s real. I know?!?!?! Who does that and who then WRITES an ad about it?!?! Although this post is from 2010 and no longer featured on Craigslist, it is/was definitely real.

And which one did y’all find funniest?

Now…let’s have some fun with Jenny’s Missed Connections.

Which Missed Connection was fake?

  1. REAL: I Saw Your Thong  13.04% voted for it being the fake…But it’s real. I give the guy points for his sense of humor. Perhaps if he paid homage to Bathtub Jesus, the God’s would shine on him and answer his Craigslist prayer.
  2. FAKE: Naked In The Trash  26.09% of you nailed it – total fake! Well, partially. This Missed Connection was inspired by Jenny’s hubby who did see a naked lady change in the trash area outside his work. Although it was not a missed connection experience…more like a 16-year-old boy getting his first show!
  3. REAL: My Next Happy Meal  43.48% voted for it being the fake…But it’s real. I know…like who posts on the web only being able to last 2 minutes?!?!
  4. REAL: Strong Legs On Kelly Drive  17.39% voted for it being the fake…But it’s real. I hope he helped the poor girl up after her near miss of duck poo!

And which one did y’all find hilarious?

  • I Saw Your Thong  52.38% outstanding choice y’all. I’ve been busting my gut all day about this one.

Be sure to visit Jenny’s Blog on Friday where she’s going to do a compilation of all our Missed Connections fun so you can vote on your ultimate favorite. Then…stay tuned for Monday’s post here where I…with all my esteemed experience and knowledge…will offer some dating advice to the winning Missed Connection. Of course with my own urban redneck flare. Should be…interesting!

And since it’s Twisted Tuesday, I leave you with this Craigslist Missed Connections parody fun:

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It’s your turn…why don’t you take a crack at writing your own Missed Connection – fake or real? Or take a few minutes and find a favorite or outrageous one to share with the group…there are so many out there ripe for the picking! Come on…share the wealth…

It’s Twisted Tuesday and that means it’s time to enjoy a smile, giggle or laugh…here’s hoping I’ve provided it in spades…enjoy!

More blog deliciousness here:

Business cards that say what you really think!

How many times have I wanted to tell someone off for their piss-poor parking? About a zillion times. But it always seemed kind of childish to sit in my car, for potentially hours, waiting to give someone a piece of my mind. Not to mention, there are a lot of crazies out there. How do I know that this person isn’t a poor parker due in large part to their being a card-carrying, knife-wielding psychopath?

Exactly! Play it safe Natalie. Walk away.

And I do.

But not without wishing, praying, and wanting so badly to say my piece!

And what about the dude that near knocked me over last week at the card store. His body odor was more than just foul…it was an assault! But…what do you say?!?! I mean…he was walking around apparently oblivious to the scent…as if he was fine with it when it was clear no one else was.

Don’t even get me started on one of my gal pals who is being such a dumbass right now dating a total douche bag and then complaining about it incessantly (I hope she isn’t reading my blog…)? I mean, I can only be outraged on her behalf the first 85 times. At some point, she stays and it’s on her. But how do you look a pal in the face and say “seriously…you are being an idiot!” without coming off as a total jerk?

Shikes…maybe I am just a jerk?!?! Anyway….

Or how about that snotty sales clerk? I thought she was getting paid to answer questions but by her twisted eye and head reaction, it seems it was insensitive of me to interrupt her text-fest.

Or the dismissive waitress who likely spit in my soup when I asked that it be reheated. Heaven forbid I want my tomato soup steamy?! Ya’d have thought I asked her to rebuild the pyramids!

I know I am not alone. I know y’all out there wanna let er’ fly sometimes!

I mean not without just cause. But for those special, ever singular, blood-pressure raising, steam-coming-out-of-ears moments!

Well…I found the perfect solution for us to keep it classy while still putting it all out there. Anonymously at that (if we so wish)!

Say hello to my new BFF, offensive business cards.

They say it all when I can’t! I can leave one discreetly on the parking pissant’s window…slip it on the sly into the pocket of the BO man.

Or hey, I could be bold and just pass them out…straight up…to the gal pal, the snotty sales clerk and the dismissive waitress. “Here’s a card…special…for you!” Triple Z SNAP! BAM!

With 100 cards and 8 different types perfect for common, everyday situation insult, I’ll be set. I mean…with cards like:

  • You Suck At Parking
  • You Smell Like Shit
  • Your Tattoos Are Retarded
  • Your Service Sucks
  • You’re Ugly As Fuck
  • Santa Isn’t Real
  • You’re An Idiot

I’ll be letting er’ fly all over the place!

I’ll be known as the offensive, card-carrying, urban redneck version of Bill Engvall. You know, the stand-up comedian who hates stupid people and has the hilarious skits “here’s your sign.”

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There I’ll be…”Here’s your card…

The fun I could have with these….be the best $15 I’d spend in ages!

Tell me about a time you could have used one of these offensive business cards? Come on…no one will think less of you here! Or…if you could customize them, what would be your most used offensive business card and why? Come on…share the wealth…

It’s Twisted Tuesday and that means it’s time to enjoy a smile, giggle or laugh…here’s hoping I’ve provided it in spades…enjoy!

More blog deliciousness here:

And like Louise Behiel in her beautiful In Memorium post, I just want to say that on September 11 every year, I remember. God bless all my American friends and family…thinking of all of you today!

Bathtub Jesus and HD video recording sunglasses

Hubby and I have been saying for years that we need to get some kind of recording type glasses to capture the amazing sights and sounds that we see throughout our travels. I mean, just the other day we were enjoying fine dining in the car when we were treated to some entertainment that should have been captured for the world to see.

There we were, parked facing a little green space when our favorite non-shirt-wearing, public-pot-smoker waltzed into our world yet again. He bobbed. He weaved. He danced. Obviously a super duper happy guy. Just as he neared our car, he stopped short to grab a leaf off a tree which he used to blow his nose. A few times. Now that isn’t something you see every day but likely not worthy of film. Here’s where it gets freaky. Instead of simply tossing the blown leaf to the ground, he proceeded to sniff the bundle of goo and laugh hysterically…repeatedly…

Now if that’s not Hollywood quality fun, I don’t know what is!!

I mean…this is the stuff the world needs to see. And had we been wearing the HD video recording sunglasses by Hammacher Schlemmer, I’d be uploading this gem for your enjoyment instead of writing about it…and trust me, words do not do the visual justice.

The HD video recording sunglasses are polarized, weigh just over one ounce, and record high-definition video from the wearer’s point of view through a pinhole-sized 720p lens in the bridge of the frame. It captures 1280 x 720 HD video at 35 frames per second across a 72 degree wide-angle.

Not only that, but a built-in microphone records stereo sound, which means hubby and I could provide you with simultaneous COMMENTARY!! And y’all know from our Urban Word Wednesday fun we love to add delicious discourse.

The sunglasses have an internal 4 GB memory, which stores up to one hour of video (which certainly would NOT be sufficient for the insanities we witness on a hourly basis). We’d totally opt for the integrated MicroSD slot that accommodates up to a 16 GB memory card (not included) that holds up to four hours of recordings. Oh yes…that’s more like it!

But wait…there’s MORE!

The sunglasses can also capture 8 megapixel still photos with the touch of a button. This would have come in super handy this weekend.

Hubby and I took a little vacation to visit friends in cottage country. Down the road from where we were staying, the suspected drug dealer had the most darlin’ Bathtub Jesus (an old bathtub buried standing up, halfway into the ground, and a statue of Jesus is placed inside). I totally wanted to get a picture to share the joy with y’all but…not the kind of people you want to catch you strolling around their lawn taking pictures. Had we been wearing our HD sunglasses, we could have casually strolled by in STEALTH mode capturing video AND still photos of Bathtub Jesus! BAM!

Think of the fun people!!!

For about $170 bucks, I think it’s a steal of a deal!

Do you ever wish you had a built-in video recorder to capture some of the strange sights and sounds you come across? What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen? Come on…share the wealth…

It’s Twisted Tuesday and that means it’s time to enjoy a smile, giggle or laugh…here’s hoping I’ve provided it in spades…enjoy!

More blog deliciousness here:

  • Fabulous guest post by Margie Lawson on Stacy Green’s blog on visceral rules. Amazing!
  • Wished I could have been there in person but Jami Gold’s posts were a great second to Michael Hauge’s workshop on telling powerful love stories. And she followed up with even more fab deets in this post, this post and this post. It’s an amazing series to read.
  • Loved Jane Kindred’s guest post on Janice Hardy’s blog on being a panther!

How far would you go to spoil your furbaby?

Tess

So y’all know I’m a bit insane about my furbaby, Tess. She’s the apple of my eye, my baby girl, my delight! Last year, she had knee surgery to repair a blown ligament and about a week ago, she had another surgery to remove two lumps.

We knew the two lumps were benign and we’d have left them alone. Older dogs do tend to get “lumpy” as they age but the large one on her hind end had grown from nothing to about a pound in weight in 8 freaking months! The vet recommended immediate removal upon a consultation. If you follow me on Facebook, you know this whole surgery experience was quite traumatic for me (Tess was fine…it was my anxiety that was sky high).

We picked the poor thing up after the surgery to take her home. She greeted us wearing a CONE and a drain in the back where the large mass had been removed. Given that fluid had been pumping to it for 8 months, they put the drain in so that the incision wouldn’t swell up.

Well…let’s just say that my idea of a “drain” and what the drain actually was were two different things. I expected a tube like “thing” attached to her collecting the “fluid”. But when they brought her out to me, there was Tess with two holes on either side of the incision and a rubber band thing that went through the two holes, tied in a bow…so that fluid (mostly blood) could just ooze out the little holes!

Tess after her lump-removal surgery.

I near fell over. A woman picking up food asked me if my dog had been in a car accident. It looked that nasty.

I was devastated. She looked like she was in so much pain. But I will say, after being home for a couple of hours, and getting that cone off (which I think traumatized her the most), she settled in and really didn’t seem to be bothered by it or in any pain what so ever. She was her usual happy-go-lucky self, if not a tad drugged up, dripping and smearing blood all over the house.

Whatever. Blood I can clean up. Dog I can’t replace. Bleed away baby!

ALL that for 1) your pity and dog-mother-of-year chants but also because 2) it made me want to spoil my baby girl and have I FOUND the perfect way to treat her.

Pet Loungers; modern pet furniture and accessories!

Let’s kick those sub-par “doggy beds” to the trash and treat our furbabies RIGHT!

OMG don’t you just think they are the perfect way to say “I love you” to your pooch or kitty! My issue will be choosing only one.

I can almost HEAR hubby groaning “ohhhh god noooo!!” which makes them that much niftier!

It was a tough call between the Bambú Hammock and the Bambú Daybed….but I think the Daybed screams Tess! It’s so…regal!

She’ll sleep easy and comfortably on this daybed created with solid bamboo and an ORTHOPEDIC memory foam mattress. How awesome will that be on the new knee and those sore incisions!!!

After her surgeries, it’s the least I can do! And although she’s healed beautifully with the new knee, the low-to-the-ground profile will make it easy for her to get up and down. Not to mention, the cushion is removable, washable and is stain-resistant, made from high quality ultra-suede fabric (so if she oozes from her drain, I can just whip this bad boy in the wash and voila, it’s like brand new).

And it comes in PASSION PINK!!!

Need I say more?!?!? Seriously!!! She’ll love it!!

Well…at least her Mom will!

For only a nominal fee ($249.99 us) you too can have one for you furbaby!

And of course, if we go with the Bambú Daybed, she’d totally need the MATCHING Bambú Angled Diner! DUH! It MATCHES….I mean…not getting it would be…well…like wearing pants without a shirt. They are a pair. A set. They go together! It’s only another $79.99 US…and at this point, that’s chump change!!!

It’s been 12 days since the surgery and Tess is doing wonderfully. Both incisions are healing beautifully (she gets her stitches out today) with no sign of infection or problems. We have been told that although the lumps were benign, we should expect them to grow back (given the type of lump they were). Dang! Not sure how we’ll handle that going forward. Tess would be a champ no doubt but her mother not so much…

What nifty gadgets have you treated your precious furbaby to? Ever had a lumpy dog/cat – how did you handle it? Come on…share the wealth…

It’s Twisted Tuesday and that means it’s time to enjoy a smile, giggle or laugh…here’s hoping I’ve provided it in spades…enjoy!

More blog deliciousness here:

Sometimes the grass IS greener on the other side

Honestly, there is nothing I hate worse than clutter. A long reformed slob, it drives me absolutely batty (shut up hubby!). Now with all our electronic gadgets, our kitchen island has become a mass charging station. Two Blackberries, 1 Samsung Galaxy, 2 digital cameras, iPods, Kindles, laptops, tablets…the list goes on and on.

I swear it looks like we are gearing up to power the next space shuttle. It’s an endless collection of gadgets that sends my visual senses into overload. When I come into the kitchen in the morning greeted by the sight of oodles of metal, chords and blinking lights, I cringe. Not the way to start the day…no sirree!

There’s got to be a better way!

You betcha!

Decorative Things Grass Charging Station (http://www.decorativethings.com)

Allow me to introduce you to the top of my Christmas wish list (cause it’s never too late to start wishing): the grass charging station by Decorative Things.

For $28 (plus shipping), I can create a zen-like charging station in my own home! Thassss right!

In this nature-inspired oasis, the coiled wires are hidden in the bottom while all my gadgets sit pretty on the grass charging away. Genius people!

I definitely need a couple for the kitchen but hell…I might just get one for every room in the house. Ya never know when ya gotta do an emergency charge, right? Might as well look good doing it!

And…It comes in WHITE and a MINI version people!

It’s gorgeous and so…calming! Now I’ll actually look forward to plugging in my gear in at night.

Sleep tight Blackberry….night night iPod…rest easy Kindle…sweet dreams tablet…I hope y’all are comfy in your grass bed! I am the world’s best gadget mom!!

How do you handle all the electronics clutter in your home? Do you have a dream charging station or do you just plug them in where ever you have a free outlet? How do you handle clutter? Come on…share the wealth…

It’s Twisted Tuesday and that means it’s time to enjoy a smile, giggle or laugh…here’s hoping I’ve provided it in spades…enjoy!

More blog deliciousness here:

Cell phone carryitis; yet again another female issue

Recently, I got a tweet from Julie Glover whose been suffering with cell phone carryitis. I know we can all relate. I mean, as women, where do you put the damn thing??? Our wardrobe isn’t always suited for the waist clip. Nothing takes away from the punch of a power suit more than a bulge at my jacket. Do you wear it under or snagged sort of over? And I feel for Julie when she talks about it yanking down her yoga pants. Been there, done that. Like Julie, I don’t always wear a bra to stuff it into (and who wants cell phone shaped boobs anyway??!?!).

So I went on the hunt for some options for Julie (who has a HTC smart phone) that I know all the ladies will love and adore (and hey…maybe some gents as well). The great thing, most of these come in a variety of shapes and sizes for different cell phone types. Let’s get started.

HOLY cow! Check out Story Leather. These folks custom make leatherware for your PHONES (and tablet or eReader….)! Seriously?!?! Yes! You can choose from a variety of options, every color known to man (lots of PINK to choose from), custom interior, and different types of closures (so you can bling it up baby!) You can also have them personalized and with your own logo!! Think…MONOGRAM!

Story Leather – Diamond (http://www.storyleather.com)

The options are endless! They run between $60 and $130 bucks!

My fav!!! Meet the Diamond (the name alone…hello?!?!) for $129.99. Squeee! Isn’t it adorable with its gorgeous blinged up strap for the fashionista in all of us? It’s gorgeous, classy and trendy;  it’s a mini purse for your phone.

Story Leather – Hot Pink (http://www.storyleather.com)

Or wait…giving up on customization, I could opt for the universal HOT PINK diamond puff leather case. Ohhhhh the choices…the options…

Wait. I am not shopping for me. Julie. Yes. Right. Sorry about that Julie, getting back to you.

Or perhaps you were looking for something wee bit more casual and hands free? How about the Cartera which comes in at a more modest $89.99 but still offers you all the customization so you can tailor it to your phone and your taste?

Story Leather – Cartera (http://www.storyleather.com)

What I like about the Cartera is not only is it a clutch (so it carries on your wrist easily…leaving you hands free), you don’t have to yank the phone out to use it. Flip it open and voila, text, talk, surf. Talk about convenient! Not to mention, you can put OTHER stuff in it as well so it’s super multipurpose (and y’all know I love multipurpose)!

I’m in love.

Want. One. Now.

LODIS – Crossbody (http://www.lodis.com/)

Another fabulous designer of smartphone cases that I came across is LODIS. Yummmmy! They have a variety of wristlet options (I mean, did you see the Austin one??? Doesn’t that just scream Natalie?!?! Oops…did it again…sorry Julie). I was thinking you might want to consider the tab chick olive crossbody.

It wears more like a traditional purse but substantially smaller and well suited for your phone. Yes, I agree, at $128 it’s pretty pricey but…it’s made of soft, smooth leather with shiny nickel hardware.

All For Color – Crossbody (http://www.allforcolor.com)

Or go ULTRA chic and cool with some less expensive crossbody versions ($18) by All For Color. They also have a ton of inexpensive smartphone wristlets to choose from.

But wait – let’s say you are looking for something a little less flashy? Something to wear around the house? Maybe something more casual and sporty? Why not try an armband? Something like the Arkon Universal Armband for large smartphones?

Arkon Armband (http://www.walmart.com)

I found this one on Walmart’s site. It fastens securely to your arm, great for a workout, run, or even if you are just zooming around the house or getting groceries.

It’ll go great with yoga pants and will make you look super sporty and athletic to boot (even if you aren’t). It’s lightweight and totally adjustable for your comfort. It also has a little spot for your earphones and a multi-touch display which also provides protection from fingerprints, dust and dirt.

Not to mention, a hidden key pocket!!! Yes…a secret compartment!!! Squee!! Strap this bad boy to your ankle and watch OUT James Bond! You are a serious writer packing some heat!

I can see it now….

You’re at the grocery store with your phone fastened securely to your ankle.

It vibrates (because all covert writers/spies have their phones on vibrate).

You look around. Is the enemy watching? This could be a potential agent calling? Maybe a new small press? You don’t want to give the edge to a follow grocery shopping writer…you look left…right…

Nope…coast is clear.

You prop that foot up on the produce fridge unit; give the lettuce guy a wink with a devilish grin.

He knows your hot…and important…and super secretive and sexy!

Flex the buttocks…why? Cause you can damn it!

You’ve got that twinkle in your eye.

You casually lift up the pant leg and…answer!

Covert phone tactics!

I mean…you are a writer…you gotta live this shit!

Seriously…for $13 bucks, you can’t go wrong! I mean…how much fun would that be?!?!

What kind of case do you use for your cell phone? Any great tips and tricks for Julie? Come on…share the wealth…

It’s Twisted Tuesday and that means it’s time to enjoy a smile, giggle or laugh…here’s hoping I’ve provided it in spades…enjoy!

More blog deliciousness here:

A writing space that will set your muse on fire!

All too often I hear the super sad tale of fellow writers not having their own office space in which to write. A couple of kids and BAM, there goes your writing room. Bestselling authors and potential bestselling authors being relegated to writing at the kitchen table, the island, or worse yet, the couch. Trying to tune out hubby’s fifty zillion questions “what’s that…what are you writing…who’s that for…what channel is that news program on…what good shows did Tiffany and Amber just review…where did my socks go???

Oh I know all about it.

Or how about the kids? “Mom I’m hungry, Mom Billy hit me, Mom I need to pee, Mom I just peed myself…” The list goes on and on.

Without a room or a dedicated writing space to close off the world and get some quiet or crank up your latest book’s playlist, how’s a successful author to concentrate? I mean…you are doing this for your family for land’s sake?!?! Don’t they understand? You are the next BESTSELLER. On the cusp of millions of dollars, movie deals, book signings…if only you had a proper writing space to make it all happen, right?! Well…something like that anyway.

And typing at the kitchen table or on the couch…no no no! If you want a 20-year writing career, you can’t be risking carpel tunnel with insufficient or improper wrist and finger support. I mean…these are your money makers people. You need to treat em’ right.

As always, have I got the solution for you!

Meet the Emperor 1520 and its big sister, the Emperor 200.

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O.M.G (and not Jenny’s new OMG definition either – this is for the ol’ Oh MY GOD one we all know and love – Jenny you are such a perv – I love it) now that’s what I am talking about!!!

For a measly $6200 US (I know this might seem like a lot right off the bat but THINK about your lifelong earning potential as a successful author. I mean…a couple of books and this bad boy is paid for – it’s an INVESTMENT people), you can get yourself the all-encompassing, self-contained Emperor 1520 home office.

Hand built in Canada (and you know we Canadians build good shit), it boasts a comfy, immersive and aesthetically unique environment for the long hours you are going to spend as an aspiring author on your way to uber success in the literary world.

It comes with tilt (and you thought that was just for your car…hah!), an integrated audio system (cause you are going to need to wear headphones if you put this in the living room – gotta tune out your partner and the kiddies when you are working on makin’ the moolah), LED lighting, and strategically positioned monitors (not included) and accessories. Not to mention, it’s ergonomically optimized, a must-have in today’s successful author’s writing room.

Just think about how much your imagination will soar, characters will come alive and plots will thicken when you feel like you are powering a small air craft in your KITCHEN no less??!? I mean, if you are going to write about spaceships and other worlds, why not feel like you are IN one. Talk about an immersive creative experience. This thing breathes inspiration, ingenuity, and originality. It’s gonna lite a spark in your muse’s ass! You’ll be on FIRE!

But wait. Maybe this isn’t enough? Maybe this isn’t technie enough for you? Maybe you feel like I’ve dropped the bar? Maybe you want more…more comfort…more high-end…more gadgetry…your muse DEMANDS it! Your muse is a diva and the diva demands LUXURY. I know all about it people – got me one at home.

Well hold onto your panties and strap on your jock strap…meet the Emperor 200. Don’t let the small number fool you, for a mere $49,150 US (I’ll admit, you’ll have to write and sell quite a few books to have this one pay for itself) you too can have yourself the ultimate computer workstation. Or as I like to call it, Author Only Area (you’ve heard of Area 51, the most famous secret military installation in the world…well like that but for Authors!)

It has features like a TOUCH SCREEN CONTROL CENTER (it’ll be like flying the Starship Enterprise people), air filtering system (gotta put your health first), light therapy (really get your muse working overtime), electric powered leather seats (beam me up Scottie) and up to three 27” LED screens and a blow-the-lid-off-your-ears Bose sound system. The website says “be bold and unique” – no shit!

I think they should change it to “make your muse your bitch”.

With the Emperor 200, no more waiting around to see if Miss Muse shows up for work today or if she’s in any kind of a mood to give you the good stuff. Nuh-uh, no way, I don’t think so HO! Miss M will be to work, on time, dressed to kill, and ready to deliver you the bomb of all writing. This shit’s gonna make you weep it’ll be so good.

What’s your writing space look like? What spaces fire up your muse? Come on…share the wealth…

It’s Twisted Tuesday and that means it’s time to enjoy a smile, giggle or laugh…here’s hoping I’ve provided it in spades…enjoy!

More blog deliciousness here:

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