Worlds collide: pajamas and jeans

I am all about fashion and comfort colliding. At home on the weekends, I live in yoga pants, a variety of sweats, ball caps and sneakers or flip-flops. When I head out to catch a movie or see friends, I toss the comfies aside and although I don’t go high fashion, I usually shower, toss on some make-up and fix the hair, whip on a pair of my favorite jeans, cute top and some heels.

But what if these two worlds COULD collide?

What would I give to have my favorite jeans FEEL like yoga pants?

Does such a world exist?

Apparently it does. Hubby fired me a cryptic text on Saturday that said “blog post…pajama jeans…” I was stumped but my fav gal pal knew exactly what he was talking about.

OMG I’ve totally heard of those,” she said. “They are jeans that fit and feel like pajama bottoms.

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR?!?!

Online I went and lo and behold, there is such a thing as Pajama Jeans (US site here & Canadian site here).

Creaters claim that Pajama Jeans are the most versatile jean ever; made for work, play, working out, travel, and even sleeping. Wrinkle resistant they are tailored with high contrast top stitching, brass rivets, and back and front pockets that give them a “European designer” look. They have a mock fly, no buttons and a hidden front draw string.

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Ummm…these are sounding a lot like the comfy jeans that my bestie mistakened for maternity jeans.

They are made with a cotton-spandex-denim blend and lined with Dormisoft that not only stretches (my fake maternity jeans do that) but is also super soft on the skin. Ummmm…tempting!!!

In Canada, they come in boot cut and cost around $50. In the US you can get them in boot cut or skinny jean and they cost around $40. They are available in sizes from XS to 3X.

Unfortunately, they only come in 31 inch inseam (for all sizes) so that sort of sucked the excitement out of me. I don’t buy a pant, comfy or not, that has less than a 34 inches inseam. I might be comfy and able to roll out of bed and onto the runway in Pajama Jeans but with a 31″ inseam, I’d be looking like I was prepared for the next great flood. No thanks.

I am not so sure about the infomercials claim that they are“the fashion sensation that fits every figure perfectly” but the “smooth butt lifting design” is certainly appealing. Who doesn’t want their ass lifted while wearing something that feels like jammies?

Anyone try this “fashion sensation” yet and care to share a review? Would you be happy to combine fabulous jeans with comfy PJs? What’s your favorite multi-function fashion must-have? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

Parole hearing; not just a rubber stamp…who knew?!?!

First, I have to start off by saying a HUGE thank you to everyone who emailed, posted on Facebook or tweeted me in the last week to say “we are here for you and pulling for your family.” Hubby and I were just blown away by the outpouring of support, thoughtfulness, love, and encouragement we received from our in-person and virtual friends and family. Your notes and prayers were appreciated more than words could ever begin to convey.

YOU. GUYS. ROCK!

Thank you will never quite capture our humbled gratitude….

Ok, so on to the good stuff; the parole hearing that we attended Wednesday. If you are not up to speed on our impaired driving story, check it out here first for all the deets.

Buckle up because I fear this could be a lengthy post. I want y’all to get a real sense for what a Canadian Parole Board hearing looks and feels like.

Westmorland Institution

We arrived at the Westmorland Institute (a minimum security jail) at around 8 am. We met up with hubby’s two aunts and their husbands and hubby’s youngest sister. We were all shocked to see the accommodations for prisoners are rows and rows of townhouses (no fencing or anything).

We later found out that each “townhouse” or “unit” as they are called houses 4 to 5 prisoners. They are two to a room with a shared bathroom, living room (with TV) and kitchen. Each unit is allotted a weekly budget and the 4-5 men have to arrange/negotiate to buy their own groceries (from the Institution’s grocery store), cook and clean for themselves.

If any of us thought that Trent was sitting in a 6X9 cement jail cell like you see on TV, we were sorely mistaken.

But I digress.

We were ushered into the main administration complex. There we gathered in a boardroom with a communications liaison from the Parole Board of Canada (PBC) who walked us through how everything would proceed and answered all of our questions.

We found out that Trent was applying for either of 3 types of parole:

  • Temporary Absence: This is usually the first type of release an offender may be granted. They can be escorted (ETA) or unescorted (UTA). Trent was applying for 3 UTAs each for 72 hours (think a weekend at a halfway house). ETAs and UTAs are granted so offenders may receive medical treatment; contact with their family; undergo personal development and/or counselling; and participate in community service work projects.
  • Day Parole: This is to help prepare an offender for release on full parole or statutory release by allowing the offender to participate in community-based activities. Offenders on day parole must return nightly to an institution or a halfway house unless otherwise authorized.
  • Full parole: This is when an offender serves the remainder of the sentence under supervision in the community (in his own apartment etc). There are usually conditions associated with this type of release (curfew, alcohol/drugs abstinence etc). An offender must report to a parole supervisor on a regular basis.

While on any kind of these parole programs, if an offender commits a crime or doesn’t meet any of the conditions set, they can be remanded back to the Institution to complete the remainder of their sentence.

Enough with the boring tech stuff, right?

Ok, so we find out that Trent is applying for either of the 3 but we also find out that his parole officer who supported his pending application for parole back in December 2011 has since withdrawn that support. Likely due to the fact that Trent’s psych evaluation came back in February 2012 showing him at a high to medium risk to re-offend. Neither the psychologist nor his parole officer were supporting his application for parole.

This peaked our interest. Why would he go forward with the application? Cynically, I think most of us assumed it was because the process was rubber stamp approval.

Little did we know.

The Hearing

At 9 am, we were escorted into the parole hearing room. At the front of the room, sitting facing the observers (the Kennie family, a couple of students and a few cops) were 2 parole board hearing officers; one a retired warden of 30 years and the other a long-time police office/parole officer. Trent, the offender, was sitting facing the parole board accompanied by his assistant (this is someone who sits beside the offender and is granted the opportunity to make a statement on the offender’s behalf – Trent had his mother as his assistant).

Another thing we didn’t know is that at the parole board looks at the offender as whole. That means they don’t take into account only the offense that landed the person in jail, they look at the entire criminal history (if there is one) along with all circumstances. They parole board can ask the person next to anything; childhood, any and all criminal activities, recovery etc. The board is there to assess whether the offender presents a risk to re-offend.

We knew Trent had something of a sketchy past with a couple of assault charges and failure to comply with some probation orders but that was the extent of our knowledge. To our surprise, the assault charges became the crux of the discussion between Trent and the parole board.

Assault Charges

For over an hour, they grilled him about the incidents (both involving women); why did his life take a turn to violence in his 30s, why women, how has he changed, what happened, did he drink, did he abuse drugs, what contributed to his destructive lifestyle choices? They didn’t stop or let up. Question after question.

Trent’s responses were mostly that he had been out of control, financially strained, unhappy, had unreasonable expectations, and that the abuse only happened towards the end of the relationships (even though the parole board had testimony from both women that it had been ongoing and lengthy). He was evasive when it came to admitting to specific details of the assaults and dismissive about the level of violence he demonstrated. When pushed by the parole board with conflicted reports from the women, he would answer with “well…her recollection is likely better than mine…” but would still admit or own to nothing.

Psych Evaluation

Then the board turned its attention to the psych evaluation and how the psychologist deemed Trent to be egocentric with anti-social tendencies, that he was evasive, dismissive, and minimized his offences while blaming and justifying his choices and actions.

Trent said he didn’t agree and couldn’t understand where the psychologist was coming from. Again the parole board pushed him. If he disagreed with the evaluation, why did he sign off on it, why didn’t he appeal it, why didn’t he ask for changes to the wording? In signing it, he essentially “okayed” the report but now claimed to disagree with it. And exactly what points did he disagree with? They grilled him.

Trent’s Overall Defence

Trent talked about how through his one-on-one counselling and doing the programs at the jail, he had learned better coping mechanism, to not let things build up but to address issues as they arose, to manage his expectations, to negotiate, to express himself and his feelings while listening to and taking into considerations how other people think and feel.

He said he felt his career in construction also led him to the lifestyle choices because the people he worked with drank and did drugs and upon his release, he wanted to go back to school to become an electrician and to be a better father to his daughter. He talked at length about how the Trent that walked into jail and the Trent today were two very different people.

Impaired Driving Causing Death

When they asked him about the impaired driving cause death, he admitted that he had drank 4 to 5 beer and shared a joint with 2 people and just “wasn’t thinking” when he got behind the wheel of the truck. He wanted to go so he left. He said he didn’t consider the safety of others on the road or even if he was ok to drive. He said any negative consequence never occurred to him at all.

He said he was sorry. He didn’t intend to hurt or kill anyone that day. He did set out with that in mind. It just happened.

Our Thoughts

It was tough. It was very emotional. We felt very much on pins and needles. We’ve never felt like Trent fully accepted responsibility for his choices that day. Or that he truly understands the depth of our loss, the nature and ripple effect of his choice; the impact.

We were hopeful at the parole hearing we’d see remorse and devastation and deep sorrow for what he’d done. But we were left high and dry once again. His words fell flat and seemed devoid of emotion and sincerity. It felt like because he believes he didn’t “intend” to kill someone, that it was an accident truly out of his control that he’s sorry for.

It’s pretty clear that he hasn’t accepted that it was his choice to drive impaired that killed a woman. What his intent was or wasn’t is a moot point, the fact of that matter is he murdered a woman. And THAT realization has obviously not happened yet.

Victim Impact Statements

After an hour and a half of questioning, it was time for the victims to have a say. Hubby’s sister got up and addressed the board with her heart wrenching victim impact statement. She talked about how haunted she is and how tortured her family is. How she fears for Trent’s possible retaliation upon his release. How she fears for the likelihood that he will drive impaired and kill someone again. How her children miss and mourn their nanny and how her youngest daughter will only ever know her nanny from a photograph.

There wasn’t a dry eye in the house. Well, except for Trent and his mother who seemed to sit like stone.

Then hubby got up and read his statement. He did so well. He read from his heart, his words and voice filled with emotion. Tears running down his face, he laid his soul out raw for the parole board to see.

Assistant’s Statement

Then it was Trent’s mother’s opportunity to speak.

Sitting in a pink blazer wearing pink, lace Madonna gloves, she talked about how sorry she was for the Kennie family but how we “need to understand that they aren’t the only victims here” (I believe at this point my jaw dropped).

That her family has suffered greatly as well. That they are victims too. That since Trent has been in jail, her husband has suffered heart problems from the stress of it and that they “have no one to help with yard work” (NO JOKE – her words!).

She talked about how they are a Christian family and that she has never seen a beer in Trent’s hand, let alone him do drugs.

WAIT….it gets better!

And in regards to the assaults and violence against women…”well…you know how girls are today?!?!…..after break-ups, they will lie to get revenge.

WHAT THE F*CK?!?!?!

I near fell off my chair.

I wanted to leap over every chair and every person and bitch slap this woman upside the head.

I really did. It took every ounce of self-control not to.

I was stunned. The show of total and blatant disregard for our family’s suffering at the hands of her son, the total and complete egotism and self-centeredness, coupled with the derogatory comment about “girls today….”?! It was nearly too much to handle…

Are you for real lady?!?!?!

It became crystal clear in a matter of seconds. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Her complete and utter lack of empathy and sensitivity not to mention the will for her son to take responsibility and accountability for his choices and decisions made it clear where Trent learned his lessons.

How sad is that?

Hubby felt like if anything, Trent’s mother put the nail in his parole possibility coffin. Who would release him to that?!??!

Trent’s Final Words

So after that lovely display of ineptitude, Trent got to have the last word. He talked about how he felt he had changed, that he would not re-offend, he had “earned” his parole, and that he was sorry hitting and killing Donna.

I never set out with the intention to hurt anyone…

Ahhh yes Trent. We know you didn’t mean to kill her. We know you didn’t intend to kill her. But ya did buddy….ya did!

Adjournment and Decision

We adjourned for about 10 minutes.

When we came back, one board member addressed Trent and said that they felt like he hadn’t accepted responsibility for his actions, that he was still very much centred and focused on himself. I am paraphrasing here but it went something like:

You never once talked about your victims. The women you assaulted or the family sitting here today and how your choices and decisions have affected and hurt them, you never mentioned them or talked about an understanding of what you’ve put them through. You are still focused only on you, you, you.

They told him they felt he had a high chance of re-offending and that he had a lot more work to do before he was ready for society!

The parole board came back with a big red DENIED stamp; for all 3 types of parole.

Uncle John started to clap. Hubby and I were fist pumping. We got hushed pretty heavily. Perhaps a bit insensitive but after that Shit Show, we couldn’t help it.

What Happens Now

So what happens to Trent now? Does he serve the remainder of his 3-year sentence? NO!

NO!??! No!

The parole board representative told us that he “could” reapply for parole but it’s unlikely. She said that there’d essentially have to be a second coming of Christ for him to get approval. Once denied, they usually don’t re-apply. Also, by the time he’d complete a few more programs and be ready to apply, he’d likely be close to his statutory release date.

STATUTORY RELEASE?!?!?!

Yes, you read that right.

In Canada, by law, most federal inmates are automatically released after serving 2/3rds of their sentence if they have not already been released on parole. This is called statutory release. It’s not the same as parole because the decision for release is not made by the Parole Board of Canada (PBC) however the PBC can impose conditions and restrictions to the release (curfew, halfway house etc). Although offenders serving life or indeterminate sentences are not eligible for statutory release.

Nice, eh?!

Now you’ll know in Canada when you hear someone sentenced to anything that is 2 years plus a day (meaning a federal jail sentence) the likelihood is they will never actually serve the full sentence in jail since they can apply for parole after serving 1/3rd and if not granted, are released after serving 2/3rds.

Trent’s Statutory Release date is April 14, 2013.

Which will be mine and hubby’s 3-year wedding anniversary. How quaint. Luckily, we will be in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic to celebrate and won’t let Trent ruin our day.

What Are We Left With?

Quite frankly, impaired driving causing death sentencing in Canada is inadequate to begin with. A sentence of 3 years for driving drunk and killing Mamma K and injuring the Dude will never be “enough” in our hearts. He should be serving a life sentence. Period.

That being said, it is what it is right now. And our family rests a little easier knowing that the man who killed Mamma K will at least serve the maximum amount of time that he could have.

We can live with that.

Going forward….we continue to mourn, heal and honor Mamma K. We keep fighting the good fight for stiffer penalties and more awareness and prevention. Ultimately, our dream is that someday we won’t need any of it because impaired driving will be eradicated entirely. It’s good to have a dream!

If you are still reading (God love ya….) thank you – for your support and your encouragement.

What do you think about offenders’ ability to apply for parole after only service 1/3rd of their sentence? What do you think about statutory release after serving only 2/3rd? Do you think our laws/policies should take into greater account the victims of crimes or sway more towards rehabilitation and reintegration of offenders? I’d love to hear your thoughts…

On August 1, 2009, my beautiful mother-in-law’s life was cut tragically short by an impaired driver and my stepson’s life changed forever. In honor of Donna and Jordan Kennie, please don’t drink and drive. Impaired driving is 100% preventable. Think about it.

Support MADD Canada and follow them on Facebook, Twitter (@maddcanada), YouTube, and on the Web.

More blog deliciousness here:

Living with an angry bird

I’ve been reading the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy for the last couple of weeks. For those of you who have been living under a rock, it’s the new blockbuster mega-hit in erotic romance to hit the streets. Women (and I bet some men) have been lapping it up by the millions.

I’m about half way through the second book and I’ve been enjoying it. I’ve read a number of blog posts where people have complained heavily about the quality of the writing. It’s really less of an issue for me. I am absolutely the type of reader to just lose myself in the story. Unless it’s serious continuous spelling or punctuation issues, I can overlook just about anything for the sake of great characters and a capturing plot. Especially for stories like this that are told in the 1st person. The writing style gives me a sense of the character. I felt the same way about Twilight. The writing quality lent itself to the character and thereby the overall story for me.

So….I’m loving it.

But. I’ve got one huge problem with it.

WHAT woman has THAT much sex and doesn’t get a UTI (urinary tract infection/bladder infection)?

I mean…come on people?!?!? It’s just blowing the whole believability of the book out of the water for me.

Ok, I admit, it’s quite likely a sensitive subject for me right now. I’m sitting reading this deliciously sexual book and thinking about all the wonderful things I’d like to do with hubby while there sits an angry bird screaming its freaking head off at me. I read about this woman having fabulous sex at least twice a day thinking “hey…I could do that…” and I swear at the first thought flames literally shoot out of my hooha.

It’s so bad; I’ve been tempted to shave “BURNING” in my pubic hair as a warning to hubby.

Yes….I am currently dealing with yet again, another bladder infection.

It’s like my 10th in the last year or so. I try antibiotics. I try cranberry. I drink tons of water. I pee after doing the deed. I wipe front to back. I’ve even given up my BATHS (GASP?!?!?)! It doesn’t seem to matter. I take one itty, bitty peak at hubby’s bad boy and BAM…bladder infection.

What’s a girl to do?

I read these books, watch movies or TV and see all these women having all this fabulous sex all the time and it makes me feel….less. I’m 37 years old, in the prime of my life and I want to be all that I can be in the boudoir. I want to shout orgasms from the roof top. I want to dance naked in the rain. I want to scream out in lust! I want to unleash my sexual Goddess divine. Because I know, deep down, buried under the recurring bladder infection, chronic constipation, and fatigue from a sometimes stressful job, she’s in there. Screaming and begging to come out and play.

And alas….the angry vagina burns on.

But have no fear….We continue to fight the good fight. I’m off to make yet again another doctor’s appointment and this time I’ll be asking to see a specialist. Seriously. I’ve had enough. I need to bitch slap that angry bird into tomorrow.

My inner Goddess divine says so!

Look out Fifty (and hubby)…when I get this old girl all fixed up, I plan on putting you to shame!

How do you unleash your inner sex Goddess divine? How do you  juggle life…and maintain a healthy sex life with your partner? How do you come to terms with the portrayal of women and sex in the media with real life? Any bladder infection tips or tricks? Come on…share the wealth….

More blog deliciousness here:

Urban Word Wednesday: Flavorgasm

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Flavorgasm: when eating food so good that you let out an involuntary moan, usually the first bite; also as an adjective – flavorgasmic.

Examples Of Use:

Last week I told you about hubby and I enjoying making our waitress bust a gut over our fartability conversation. Well, the fun didn’t end there. After our pizza was served, she, as is customary, came back to check on us.

Waitress: is everything ok? How’s the pizza?

Me (with mouth full of pizza): Ohhhhhh….ummmmm….YESSSSSSSSSSSSS….soooooo gooooodddddd!!!! 

*not quite When Harry Met Sally style….but you get the idea*

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Hubby: I apologize for her…We were in the Dominican for 2 weeks and this is our first pizza since getting back….she’s been having a total flavorgasm each bite.

Waitress looks at me like I have 18 heads.

I stare up and start moaning again.

Hubby shakes his head giggling.

Waitress: uhhhh…ok. Can I get you a refill on your Pepsi?

Hubby: that’d be great!

What dish always guarantees you a flavorgasm? What’s your favorite flavorgasmic food? Ever actually moan out loud…in public? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

Remote control fun for the pool

Ok, so I don’t own a pool or a hot tub but man…when I saw the remote control and snack float all I could think is THAT would be perfect for my “someday” pool parties!!!

I can picture it now….hubby loading drinks and there I can be, sunning myself, relaxing pool side while at the SAME time being the world’s best pool party hostess delivering refreshments to my guests from the comfort of my lounger.

This bad boy will let me send 5 floating deliciously divine drinks AND some munchies around the water via remote control. With a simple push of the button, my guests can let their cares drift away maxin’ and relaxin’ in the pool and when the remote control snack float sputters by, they can take their refill and leave their empty aboard.

Talk about the hostess with the mostest!

And…imagine the fun I can have bringing drinks within inches of their grasping little hands only to whisk them away. Squeeee…gotta keep guests on their toes!

The cost of this floating fabulousness is about $75.99 US (plus shipping) and is a must have for anyone planning a pool party this summer. At least until the R2D2 drink waiter gets created.

What pool gadgets catch your attention? Think you’d enjoy this remote control bad boy?

It’s Twisted Tuesday and that means it’s time to enjoy a smile, giggle or laugh…here’s hoping I’ve provided it in spades…enjoy!

More blog deliciousness here:

Urban Word Wednesday: Phone-yawn

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Phone-yawn: The act of taking out a cell phone from one’s pocket or purse, resulting in other people in the vicinity taking out and checking their phones as well.

Examples Of Use:

Hubby and I went out to lunch before heading off to Punta Cana. I thought the waitress was going to die laughing as she stumbled over to get our orders and caught the tail end of this convo.

Hubby: why is it that every time I even glance at my blackberry, you have to haul yours out? I was only going to be 2 seconds and you take forever because you always fall into the blogosphere never to return.

Me: baby…I can’t help it! It’s a phone-yawn!

Hubby: a phone-yawn? What in God’s name is that?

Me: well you know how a yawn in contagious. You see someone yawning and BAM, you start yawning? It’s the same thing but applies to cell phones, blackberries etc. I see you pull out yours, regardless of how long, I suddenly gotta check mine! If you’d rather I didn’t check mine, don’t check yours.

Hubby: I am unsubscribing you from the urban dictionary. I can’t take it anymore.

Me: oh stop…You know you love it and you know it’s true!

Hubby: damn…why are you always right?

Me: I’m a woman….just sayin’!

Have you experienced a phone-yawn? Now that you think about it, doesn’t it totally happen all the time? Share your phone-yawn stories…


P.S. Remember, hubby and I are on vacation until April 23, 2012 but have fun and talk amongst yourselves!

More blog deliciousness here:

Auto correct gone wild

I don’t have an iPhone or auto correct but whenever I see these bad boys fly by, I can’t help but fall into hysterics. I swear, I laughed so hard reading these – I had tears streaming down my cheeks. Maybe you’ve seen most of these but they are always good for a second read. Perfection for a Twisted Tuesday!

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

        

       

       

It’s Twisted Tuesday and that means it’s time to enjoy a smile, giggle or laugh…here’s hoping I’ve provided it in spades…enjoy!

Any hilarious auto correct stories to share? Come on…your secrets are safe here!

More blog deliciousness here:

Urban Word Wednesday: ding-a-ling bling gone extreme

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

WARNING: today’s blog features videos with explicit language so watch at your own risk.

Today is a special edition of Urban Word Wednesday. After Roy and Tameri made it known that last week’s nowhere story was a bit too light for their raunchy tastes (it’s ok guys, I’m a bit twisted as well), I am amping it up this week with a double whammy with…VIDEOS! Yes, you read that right. Buckle up folks, we are going hard core.

It came about when hubby and I were sitting on the couch last Wednesday evening and the following convo ensued:

Me: did you see my post on the nowhere story today?

Hubby: yes, and thanks for exploiting the “Sussex story”. Is nothing sacred between us anymore?

Me: no, my readers need to know baby. We have a responsibility to entertain and…I’m sorry but the shit you say is funny!

Hubby: how did the fans like it?

Me: pretty good except Roy and Tameri weren’t impressed with my PG13 style.

*Hubby pulls up blog post and reads comments”

Hubby: well, maybe it’s time….maybe they are ready…

Me: for what – you have a good one for me?

Hubby: how about….balldazzling?

Me: haven’t we done the nether region bedazzling to death?

Hubby: a) when is talking about decorating our nether regions ever enough?!?! and b) there’s a video!!

Me: I’ll bite!

Balldazzle: to bling out your balls; similar to vajazzle, but for men (ding-a-ling bling’s crack head cousin).

Me: SHUT up. OMG! Riot!! But do you think it’ll be too much? Can my readers handle this?

Hubby: well, they said they wanted it a little more “edgy” and that’s definitely over the top! Or you could always showcase penazzling instead. I got a video for that one too.

Me: what?!?!?!

Penazzle: when a man bedazzles his man region using any sparkly/bejeweled variety of body art (ding-a-ling bling’s adopted brother).

Me: oh. my. god. I love the theme music but hubby…do you think we’ve gone too far?!??!

Hubby: never…your readers demanded extreme and you will deliver Hartford! Cowboy Up and post the words WITH videos!

Me: okey dokey!

What do you think? Did hubby and I go too far? Did we offend or sprinkle a giggle? Now that’s you’ve seen it in action, think you’d consider getting blinged up?

More blog deliciousness here:

Urban Word Wednesday: Nowhere story

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Nowhere story: a tale or recount of an event or events that doesn’t ever reach a particular point or meaning.

Examples Of Use:

Hubby: have I ever told you about the time I fell off the jungle gym when I was 8 and broke my elbow. We were living in Sussex and I was climbing. Suddenly out of nowhere my foot slipped and…

Me: wait a minute…is this another one of your nowhere stories? Cause I don’t have all night! I need to get writing. My WIP is a priority you know? You said you supported me?

Hubby: I hate you sometimes…

Me: I know….

Ever find yourself telling a nowhere story? How do you get away from someone telling you a nowhere story? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

More blog awards – for me???

I am blushing and gushing (again…)! Two of my blogging sistas, whom I admire and respect deeply, recently honored me with blogging awards.

First, the ever funny and beautiful Jenny Hansen honored yours truly with…a STYLISH BLOGGER AWARD!

Stylish Blogger Award

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!

I near fell off my chair.

I am honored beyond measure. I am thrilled to pieces!!! Thank you Jenny! Honestly, when I read her post and saw my name listed there with words like “always makes me laugh” and “got some seriously cool style,” tears came to my eyes. I was moved. I was filled with a profound sense of awe..

Then, much to my surprise and delight, the gorgeous and talented Angela Orlowki-Peart honored me with an I Love Blogging Award. What?!?!? Well I can’t argue with that, I do love blogging! Thank you so much Angela.

I Love Blogging Award

Being honored by fellow bloggers with these awards means a lot to me. When I started out blogging over a year ago, I kind of floundered like a fish out of water. It wasn’t pretty. There was wild flapping and water everywhere. Seriously. Nasty! I was trying but nothing felt quite right.

Then I discovered Kristen Lamb and her blogging course and everything changed. Not only did I find a community of bloggers that make this blogosphere feel like one giant family, I feel like I’ve finally found my blog voice; one that is authentic, genuine and that I love. I am having the time of my life writing these posts. Blogging has become energizing, fun, and exciting. Hubby says I am not only having an affair with my Kindle but with my blog as well. Opps.

Loving blogging and having fun is great and wonderful but as Jenny wrote about in her post on writers needing external validation, I still wondered if y’all enjoyed it? Ya know? I know we should all be filled to the brim with inner confidence and that as long as I am enjoying blogging and am taping into the joy of my writing passion, that “should” be enough but…I can’t help it…I do love a little external validation!

So these two awards, along with the two others I’ve been honored with recently (check out my right-hand menu…), are that little bit of external validation that says “they like me….they really like me…” and I gotta be honest, it feels UBERLICIOUSLY fahhbulous! It makes my heart sing and my confidence soar. So…all that lengthy stuff to say a heartfelt thank you. I feel truly blessed!

In keeping with both blog award rules to:

  1. pay homage to the blogger who gave you the award;
  2. list 7 random facts about yourself; and
  3. pay the blog luv forward.

I found Jenny Hansen’s blog after writers’ social media maven, Kristen Lamb, listed her as a best practice example on her blog. And voila, my Jenny Addiction began. Her blog is chalked full of valuable writing information (writers read differently than non-writers and building a writing team opened my eyes to new aspects of the writing world), hilarious posts (my favs HAVE to be dirty minds (I mean signs)gang banging chickens and the Christian panties posts), and you can’t miss her posts on high-risk pregnancy. All in all, I think she’s an uberlicious blogger whom I admire, respect, and adore. Not to mention, the girl throws a kick-ass Twitter Parrrrttttyyy!! My god…we are all still recovering!

Angela and I met when we both took Kristen Lamb’s course and we’ve been blogging sistas ever since. She is a YA paranormal and urban fiction writer so it’s no surprise that I love her blog. She posts a weekly mash-up of things that inspire her and they will inspire you to. And super cool, her flash fiction posts involves her readers! Her blog always leaves me feeling warm and fuzzy. It’s like curling up with a feel-good book.

Jenny and Angela; piles of air cheek kisses to you my friends!

Now, for 7 random facts about me (and you can always refer back to my other posts on 10 random facts and 7 random facts if interested) but given how lengthy this post is getting, I’ll keep this short and sweet.

  1. I have a dark brown birthmark on my knee that I used to be so embarrassed by that I hated wearing shorts. Now I don’t even notice it.
  2. I am a chicken shit. When at the camp, if it’s dark outside, I make hubby come outside with me to go to the outhouse (yes…there is no plumbing at the camp…it’s a camp, not a cottage). Even if it’s 4 am. To his credit, he never even grumbles about it.
  3. Keeping in line with chicken shit confessions, I used to love scary movies but I can’t handle them now.
  4. I’ve been on the hunt for the perfect lipstick (shade and texture) for years. I’ve spent oodles of cash on lipsticks I wear once and then toss. I am still on the hunt…I wonder if it’ll ever happen?!?! (Note to hubby: it’s really not that much cash…I just said that for dramatic tension in my post. Kisses!)
  5. As a child, I dreamt of becoming an Olympic champion in gymnastics. Sadly, gymnastics was not a talent of mine and I struggled through many humiliating practices and competitions before finally giving up.
  6. I have a phobia of the drains at the bottom of pools (more chicken shit confessions). Especially the vents in large commercial swimming pools but even small, above ground home pools can creep me out. I think it comes from a traumatic swimming lesson that involved being shoved into the deep-end.
  7. I love fortune tellers and soul readers. I like to go at least once a year!

Now it’s time to share the love!

And….the Stylish Blogger Award goes to…

  • My fellow pink, glitter girl Jillian Dodd! Her blog has oodles of style and glitz. When I first started looking to update my design, her’s was a huge inspiration. What I love is that her style goes beyond the surface with content that is uberlicious. I mean, DID YOU SEE her post on her daughter’s room make-over?!?! Then…her MANday Monday’s….Seriously, need I say more?!?! Jillian’s got style in spades!
  • The ever uberfabulous Tameri Etherton. Hello…her blog header HAS a TIARA in it. Need I say more?!?! That just SCREAMS stylish! If you read my pageant post, you’ll know why I think so. Coupled with a gorgeous smiling pictures of herself and some uber content like her post on battling weight loss and her weekly trashy TV recaps that I live for, Tameri’s got tons of swag and style!
  • And last but not least, the ever hilarious and witty Twana Fenske. Her blog is another one that I gleaned inspiration towards my own design. I love the pink flash, the fahhhbulous header (hello?!?! She mentions WINE in the header) and her content often leaves me in hysterics. She’s full of charm and sass with her post on inappropriate public behavior (again) and her hilarious and touching post on making time for the important things in life.

And….the I Love Blogging Award goes to…

  • Amber West obviously loves blogging. She’s on vacation right now and STILL blogging. If that ain’t love, I don’t know what is. Like Angela, Amber writes a beautiful Friday Inspiration post. She started the #gowithout campaign encouraging everyone in the blogging community to go without a little something to give back a little something….it totally knocked MY SOCKS off! Genius! And her Why It’s Worth a Watch Wednesday posts have introduced me to tons of new shows to check out and be amazed by.
  • Amy Shojai loves blogging as well. Not only does she bring us the latest and greatest in pet information but Amy shares a wealth of knowledge about writing. Have I mentioned that in her pet posts she usually includes an Ask Amy VIDEO – thassss right – she’s ahhmazing! On Monday, we get a mash-up of great resources on pets, writing, social media etc; Tuesday it’s all about tips and tricks; Wednesday she talks everything dogs; and Friday she talks all things cats. Did I mention that she featured MY BABY in one of her posts? Oh yes, we like Amy!
  • Piper Bayard and her blogging pal Holmes definitely love blogging. They are constantly keeping me in giggles with their posts on invisible art and invisible porn and Piper’s quest to become President of the United States.
  • I would also like to honor Jenny Hansen and Angela Orlowski-Peart with an I Love Blogging Award because as you saw from above, these two uberlicious ladies obviously love blogging!

Ok – seriously, I could go on and on with tons of blogs to honor but this post is getting out of this world long (I’d be surprised if many of you are even still hanging in there…phew) so I’ll just close with that!

So there you have it! Congrats to everyone!

Thank you again Jenny and Angela for the amazing honors!

MUAH! xox

How have you been honored recently? Do you value external validation? Any ~clinking~ opportunities?

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