Get Tantric just in time for doomsday!

Squeee…today Jenny Hansen and I are blog swapping. Squeee! Can you believe she actually gave me the keys to More Cowbell?!?! I know…I was shocked as well. I am over there dishing my thoughts on some age-old dating advice…a must-read before Doomsday (you know…the Mayan prophecy that Friday December 21, 2012 the world will end. It’s ok my fabulous peeps…Jenny and I are here to help you get your groove on before the pending doom).

So enjoy Jenny’s post on how to get all bad-ass Tantric with yourselves and then pop over to More Cowbell to hang with yours truly…take it away Jenny….

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Thanks Nat!!! Wow…things are always exciting over here at Nat’s place! I get to have a great time, crack some jokes, and indulge my naughty side *if you know what I mean*…

I’m going to let you in on a secret.

I might hang out most of the time at More Cowbell and Writers In The Storm, but lately I’ve been expanding my horizons a bit and publishing short articles on some of the SocialIn sites. Have you heard of them? Social In DC, Social In New York, Social In Los Angeles…you get the picture.

This latest bump to my freelance dreams started with a conversation I had with another writer a few months back. She’d received a writing assignment that wigged her out.

[We'll just call her Monique.]

Monique: Hey! I just had an assignment come across my desk that has you written all over it.

Me: Yeah? How so?

Monique: Well, it’s about sex. Anyone who writes the Undie Chronicles can surely interview a sex therapist better than I can.

Me: Wow! Really?! A sex therapist? I’ve always wanted to chat up a sex therapist.

Monique: Of course you do.

Me: Give me the info…I wanna look this person up. *tap-tapping the keyboard* Interesting…she practices something called Transformational Tantra. [Definition of Tantra]

Monique: I KNOW. I don’t want to talk to someone about their sex lives!

Me: I don’t think she’s gonna talk to you about her sex life. The point is to talk to you about yours.

(I’m continuing to browse the gal’s site this whole time.)

Hey, she runs a radio show called Sex and Happiness. That’s kind of nifty. And she did a movie called Tantric Tourists…it won a bunch of awards. It looks like she takes bunches of tourists on trips to India. They learn “the art of surrender.”

Monique about exploded when she heard this. “You’re telling me that people spend thousands of dollars to go to India just to get tied up?! They can get that for free at home.

Me: *laughing* I think you’re confusing “surrender” with “bondage,” Honey.

Monique: And THIS is why you’re the one who’s going to write this post!

And so I did. I’ve actually placed it below, along with links to this gal’s new movie, Beyond Dinner. It sounds like they’re combining dinner with Speed Dating, but I’ll let you decide for yourselves. For $1.99, I’m totally checking it out.

Beyond Dinner…More Than A New Way To Eat
by Jenny Hansen

Photo by ECooper99 at WANA Commons

Photo by ECooper99 at WANA Commons

December ‘tis the season’ when Americans kick their schedules up a notch, from “really busy” to “downright insane.” The downside to this holiday insanity is it keeps us from paying attention, to our loved ones and ourselves.

Give yourself a unique gift this holiday season and embrace. . .You.

According to Dr. Oz, our four basic needs as humans are food, water, sleep and sex. You heard me – we need all four to be truly well and happy.

Do you take the time to celebrate your body? Your spirit? Do you give yourself the gift of both rest and play?

Let me introduce you to Laurie Handlers. A tantric teacher, Laurie believes, “Sex energy runs the world. The sooner we make peace with that, the better our lives will be.” Between her books and her films, I guarantee she’ll help you banish the word boring from your bedroom and replace it with fun.

Her latest video romp, Beyond Dinner, turns the simple act of eating into a carnival for the senses. Following the basic principles of a Gate Dinner (pronounced gah-tay – gate is Sanskrit for “beyond”), the women and men in this short film are seated on pillows on the floor in a dining area. After a quick workshop on setting boundaries to teach the art of “Yes,” “No,” and “Not now, maybe later,” these diners are off for a night of exploring the senses.

With each course, the men change places at the table until all the participants have experienced feeding and being fed by the others at the table. Red wine and decadent chocolate dessert are served before the meat and potatoes, creating a sensual smorgasbord of food.

Searching for a gift to get your honey’s engine revving this holiday season? Look no further.

Beyond Dinner has food, wine, candlelight and tons of lighthearted play. This is dinner as you’ve never seen it eaten. I’m eyeing a rental copy as a quick and easy stocking stuffer for my husband, to help kick off a New Year’s Eve romantic date for two. At $1.99, I can’t go wrong. If we love it, I can buy it forever for $6.99.

If you’re looking to add some erotic spice to your holidays, I highly recommend a shopping trip through Laurie Handlers’ holiday deals.

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So, now I’m opening the discussion up to all of you. What do you think about this tantric business? And how about the concept behind the Gate Dinner? (Monique couldn’t get over the idea of someone she barely knew putting their hands all over her food.)

I’m simply dying to hear what y’all think about this concept… ESPECIALLY Hubby!

About Jenny Hansen

By day, Jenny provides training and social media marketing for an accounting firm. By night she writes humor, memoir, women’s fiction and short stories. After 15 years as a corporate software trainer, she’s delighted to sit down while she works.

When she’s not at her personal blog, More Cowbell, Jenny can be found on Twitter at JennyHansenCA or at Writers In The Storm. Jenny also writes the Risky Baby Business posts at More Cowbell, a series that focuses on babies, new parents and high-risk pregnancy.

Jenny Hansen Introduces the Bladder Dominatrix!

By Jenny Hansen

Hey, y’all!! How fun to come romp over here at Nat’s place…she’s got the place decorated just how I like it, all pink and dazzly. Natalie is hanging out at More Cowbell today for Techie Tuesday while I twist things up over here.

You see, I found this product. And it looks VERY naughty.

It was Gloria Richard that sent me on the hunt for “Ben Kegel…” (And we all know that Gloria is more than a little wild. Click here to see an example that includes coffee grounds and Saran Wrap.)

It all started with this exchange in the comments of my Crazy Books post, Coping With A Small Um…:

Well, I DIDN’T find Gloria’s Ben Kegel but Holy Mother of GOD, I found THIS and decided it was perfect for Nat’s Twisted Tuesday.

Behold, The Bladder Dominatrix (aka The Kegelmaster)! That’s a name that conjures up whips and chains, no?

Oh, they say it’s for your bladder, but that’s not what it looks like to me! I’ve been to a bridal shower or two in my time and the above looks distinctly like the “fun kits” that are made for the bedroom. I’m just sayin…

But the part that slayed me is the verbiage when you get to the “Advanced” model. To be honest, these people are scaring me with the Advanced, Deluxe and ULTIMATE labels.

+64 Advanced levels??? WTH?!?

Um…how do I say this without giving y’all TMI? OK, there simply is no way. Plus, we’re at Natalie’s place where I can say anything

Writers aren’t known for being the most coordinated bunch. I have visions of the +64 “Advanced” levels either knocking me off the bed or making me pee myself. Neither image makes me feel warm or fuzzy toward the Bladder Dominatrix.

I just don’t know that I’m ready to undertake “resistance exercise” for the vagina. I mean, I’m already killing myself with Crossfit and one new exercise program a year is enough for me.

Note: Teri Hatcher from Desperate Housewives swears by it, saying she’s “got the strongest Kitty Cat in town” but I still have my doubts.

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Does the nation’s fitness craze really need to extend to our hoohahs? Since when are sex and normal kegels not enough?? What do y’all think?

To exercise the vajayjay or NOT to exercise the vajayjay? That is the +64 Advanced Level question.

About Jenny Hansen

Jenny fills her nights with humor: writing memoir, women’s fiction, chick lit, short stories (and chasing after the newly walking Baby Girl). By day, she provides training and social media marketing for an accounting firm. After 15 years as a corporate software trainer, she’s digging this sit down and write thing.

When she’s not at her blog, More Cowbell, Jenny can be found on Twitter at jhansenwrites and here at Writers In The Storm. Every Saturday, she writes the Risky Baby Business posts at More Cowbell, a series that focuses on babies, new parents and high-risk pregnancy.

Tasty tacos and tube steak delight

So yesterday I was talking about how I’ve recently discovered olive oil as a fabulous new sexual lubricant. One of the great things about using it in that fashion is say mid-session you or your partner wanna head downtown for a little nibble, you can. No more worrying about ingesting store-bought lubricants. You can lower your cholesterol with heart-healthy olive oil while you pleasure your partner. Talk about killing two birds with one stone.

I mean, hell, why not toss some garlic or oregano down there and make a salad out of it?!

Ok, maybe that’s pushing the olive oil envelop since I doubt my hooha would appreciate being sprinkled with garlic…nor would hubby be thrilled with me making his rod a balsamic salad stick…

But…this did get me thinking.

God help us!

I got to thinking about products that enhance that taste of giving oral pleasure. I’ve never found the intimate canned whip cream too tasty (go for the real deal on that one) but hubby and I have tried some flavored gels that work wonderfully. Chocolate, mango, BANANA…yummy!!! Though if you plan on getting back to basics afterwards, not so sure I’d want that sticky stick on the inside, if you know what I mean?!?! And although they might “enhance” the flavor…they don’t always completely hide the taste…

Till NOW that is…

One of my loyal readers (THANK YOU) forwarded me this fabulousness: MASQUE Sexual Flavors.

Developed by a team of scientist and researchers, MASQUE is like the fellatio version of Listerine dissolvable strip. It’s an engineered formula that combines individual taste blockers which are microencapsulated on a paper-thin, orally dissolvable strip that you place on your tongue moments before the big event. It’s specifically designed to completely conceal the taste of semen. Shut up?!?! Seriously!??!

The strips enhances the taste with either chocolate, strawberry, watermelon or mango flavors (all with a slight hint of mint) while, supposedly, completely neutralizing flavors associated with oral sex on men, especially the taste of semen (salts, bitters, and proteins).

Although not designed to be used the other way around, if you want to pleasure your lady friend and send her man in the boat sailing, the FAQ portion of the website says that they’ve received reports of women enjoying the hint of mint in the downtown region.

And they last up 15 minutes.

Although if hubby last 15 minutes, I won’t be talking right for a week!

How do you keep things spicy in the bedroom? Know of any fabulous oral pleasure taste enhancers? Would you give MASQUE a try? Come on…share the wealth….

It’s Twisted Tuesday and that means it’s time to enjoy a smile, giggle or laugh…here’s hoping I’ve provided it in spades…enjoy!

(P.S. I LOVE it when readers come across little delights and forward them my way…if you find something you’d love to see featured on a Twisted Tuesday, send it over via the Contact Me form)

More blog deliciousness here:

Solved: the case of the angry bird

In June I told you how I have been living with an angry bird for what feels like forever. It’s been at least one year (maybe closer to two) that I’ve been tormented by chronic bladder infections and a burning vajayjay that’s kept my lustful Fifty Shades of Grey inner sex Goddess at bay.

I’m happy to report, my Goddess divine (who has no scruples when it comes to this sort of thing) finally kicked that burning bird to the curb and we’ve been living burn-free for over a MONTH people! That’s like an eternity in burn-free days!

I didn’t come across the fix right away. After I read all your amazing suggestions, I thought that perhaps I had taking so many anti-biotics, that my vajayjay was like a war zone with all my good bacteria lying down like fallen and wounded soldiers in the field. Perhaps my vaginal canal was a hostile environment? So I promptly headed out to treat the ol’ girl right.

I started with an oral treatment for a yeast infection (just in case). I made probiotics my new BFF ingesting 16 billion live cultures of acidophilus every day. Not to mention the Greek yogurt and berries fetish I’ve developed. I gave up my deliciously, wonderful baths (this has been like torture in and of itself…I love my bath time!) AND…torture number 2…Hubby and I abstained from bumping nasties for two. whole. weeks.

The night came to see if all our hard work paid off. With bated breath we got down to business and BAM…she’s BACKKKKK!! The burning bearded clam returned with a vengeance. I swear flames were firing out of her. I was desolate. Hubby was depressed. I just about gave up. What else could I try?

I was just about to resort to a yogurt douche when a conversation with a BFF years ago came to mind. One of my friends in a similar situation was told by her gynecologist to try olive oil as a lubricant, instead of the store-bought versions.

Hmmmm…ya think?!?!

Was our trusted Astroglide to blame for the past two years of BURN?

I didn’t want to get mine and hubby’s hopes up again. But at this point, we had nothing to lose and everything to gain. So….with great trepidation, hubby and I made the switch. We brought the olive oil from the kitchen to the bedroom and I’m happy to report we’ve been cooking up burn-free banging ever since.

The case of the angry bird….SOLVED!

Who knew…olive oil??? It’s not only heart healthy in the kitchen and great for amazing face and body at-home spa treatments; you can use it to make tasty taco salads in the bedroom as well. This stuff’s gold!

Picked up some EXTRA VIRGIN just for hubby!

What’s your favorite bedroom lubricant? Had you ever heard of using olive oil when you get between the sheets? What other amazing things do you use olive oil for? Come on…share the wealth….

More blog deliciousness here:

Orgasm through…exercise???

A couple of weeks ago hubby sent me this link on a new study that found that some women can achieve orgasm by working out. I think he was hoping this might motivate me to hit the gym but the thought of having a “When Harry Met Sally” restaurant moment at the gym doesn’t really appeal to me. I know…I am such a prude!

But seriously, according to the news story, researchers at Indiana University surveyed 124 women who claimed to have experienced exercise-induced orgasms (EIO), also known as “coregasms,” and 246 who experienced exercise-induced sexual pleasure (EISP).

There are a lot of things I experience when working out but none of them even come close to eliciting any kind of pleasure.

The researchers found that most women have no control over their coregasms, weren’t fantasizing or looking at anyone they were attracted to when it happened, and most said it made them feel uncomfortable working out in public.

Ya think?! Now every time I hear a woman grunting or moaning while working out, I’m gonna wonder if it’s from pain or pleasure.

Researchers found that the most coregasm-inducing exercises were:

  • 51.4% during or after abdominal exercise
  • 26.5% weightlifting
  • 20% yoga
  • 15.8% bike riding
  • 13.2% running
  • 9.6% walking or hiking

I gotta say, over my lifetime I’ve done nearly all of these workouts and have never experienced a coregasm or any exercise-induced sexual pleasure. Maybe if I had, I would have stuck with my workouts. Hmmmm….

Do you think exercise has the potential to enhance women’s sex lives? Ever experienced a coregasm? Would you hit the gym more often, or less often, if you did? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

Score more with a subtle approach?

Hubby and I are thankfully on the same page, reading from the same book, about 90% of the time, if not higher. So whenever we have a misfire of communication, it really stands out. And the one place we seem to cross signals is the boudoir. It can be like a massive land mine with trip wires and booby traps.

I am sure many of you ladies reading are nodding with a knowing smile “oh girl…I hear ya there…” It’s probably a common spot where a lot of couples differ. Ok…I know there are those who have no idea what I am talking about and to you I say “go talk about your budget…

A recent conversation with hubby went like this:

Me: my god, I finally figured it out. I was on Colin Falconer’s blog and he had this fantastic video by Amanda Gore (below) about the differences between men and women!

Hubby: yeah???

Me: she explained it perfectly. You love a direct approach. You love it when I reach down and grab your crotch and say “let’s get it on…” That makes you hot. You get fired up instantly. Zing. Ready for action! Put me in coach!

Hubby: true…

Me: so when you are in the mood, you do what anyone would do – you do onto me as you would like done onto yourself, right?

Hubby: well that makes sense…yes!

Me: but for me, a lot of the time the direct approach is like pouring ice water on my hooha! It makes me tense up and scream. You reach down for a grab and I’m like “what the hell??? You can’t just GRAB her. She’s not a toy or a stick. She’s tender and she likes to be romanced!!!”

Hubby: less direct???

Me: ya…you know….a more subtle approach. Instead of going straight to the business, rub my thighs…rub my upper chest…massage etc. Touch me every where but…there! Squeeee!!! I think your chances of “yes” moments would increase dramatically.

Hubby: here’s the deal. At least with the direct approach I don’t waste a bunch of time. I go in for a sample and get a yes or no immediately. BAM! I am not investing 45 minutes of a subtle only to get the same “no” I’d have gotten with the direct approach. The math doesn’t add up.

Me: lord…

The rest of the weekend was spent with hubby rubbing my inner thighs going “how’s this for subtle???” and me reminding him that it’s not “subtle” if you have to POINT IT OUT!!

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Hysterical. My favorite part is when she says men have to get us to the point where we are going “touch the bits…touch the bits…

Ok ladies…have you got my back? Do you prefer the subtle or more direct approach? Guys, which approach has landed you the most success? What are some of the differences between men and women that crack you up? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

How long should you make a guy wait? The Singles need your advice!

I’ve got a bunch of single gal pals (the Singles) that come to me for relationship advice. I gleefully and enthusiastically deliver all tidbits of advice I have to offer acknowledging that it’s based solely on my personal experience.

In one area, me and the Singles ALWAYS differ!

How long do you wait before going ALL the way?

My advice; 4 to 8 weeks, depending on how quickly the relationship progresses. To be honest, I think the longer you wait, THE BETTER! Now let’s be clear. I am not saying you shouldn’t have any intimate fun…there’s lots of boudoir frolicking that can be had that does not involve going the whole way. I am merely suggesting that you keep things to 1st and 2nd base for while.

The Singles gawk, throw their heads back in disgust and usually look at me like a 3-headed dragon.

We have NEEDS Natalie….” they scream at me.

My response: “do you want to get laid or find a life partner?” because I think the two goals require two totally different approaches.

To back me up, I saw an interview between Dr. Phil and Steve Harvey, comedian and author of Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man and Straight Talk, No Chasers, where Steve suggests women make the men they are dating wait 90 days before they have sex.

The biggest mistake that women make is they find out the information too late. You find out he’s married too late, you find out something’s wrong with him, he’s not really working, he’s not really a committed-type guy,” he says. “You can get this figured out in 90 days if you give yourself a chance, but once you commit yourself physically to a guy, you become emotionally involved, and you try to force it to make it work because ‘I slept with the guy.’ And you end up dragging yourself through the mud with a relationship that you really need to get rid of.

I emailed that little ditty around to all the Singles.

Most of them did not reply. Go figure.

Steve shared his thoughts on his 90-day rule and dating in general on the Ellen show and I gotta say, I was sold on his theory!

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Amen Steve!

To all my Singles out there, here are my final pieces of relationship advice:

  1. Set your BAR sky high!
  2. Shout it from the rooftop! OWN it!
  3. Demand to know his intentions/plans on the first date!
  4. Set a 90-day (or something similar) no-sex rule so he knows you ain’t here to PLAY, you here to PLAN!

If he’s worthy, he’ll stick around!

I know, you are all wondering….do I practice what I preach?!?!

Hubby and I waited 4 weeks from the time we started dating exclusively.

Why didn’t I wait 90 days, which was my rule at the time? There were a couple of factors that I think made the timeline exception warranted.

Relationship intensity was fierce: for hubby and I, 4 weeks together was like 90 days for most. We spent nearly every single day together from the time we met. And it wasn’t all flirting and fun during that time. I took Steve’s advice to heart and grilled hubby extensively (who grilled me right back), we explored the nitty gritty details like our mutual interests, our values, and the kind of relationships/life we wanted with a partner. We were both dead honest with each other from day one. It was intense but it was also as natural as breathing.

And……

Hubby got rave reviews from multiple credible sources: hubby had worked at my then workplaces for years but was gone by the time I was hired. So all of my coworkers (all women – varying ages) had known him for ages. These women didn’t just speak highly of him…they adored, worshipped and loved him. To most, he was like a son to them. In their eyes, I could do no better and they all told me we’d be perfect together.

How right these ladies were!

But I still made him wait 4 weeks! And when we took things to the next level, I knew what I was getting myself into and I knew he was worth it. And vice versa.

So…have y’all got my back? How long do you think the Singles should wait before jumping in the hay with a new man…and why? What’s your best piece of relationship advice? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

Living with an angry bird

I’ve been reading the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy for the last couple of weeks. For those of you who have been living under a rock, it’s the new blockbuster mega-hit in erotic romance to hit the streets. Women (and I bet some men) have been lapping it up by the millions.

I’m about half way through the second book and I’ve been enjoying it. I’ve read a number of blog posts where people have complained heavily about the quality of the writing. It’s really less of an issue for me. I am absolutely the type of reader to just lose myself in the story. Unless it’s serious continuous spelling or punctuation issues, I can overlook just about anything for the sake of great characters and a capturing plot. Especially for stories like this that are told in the 1st person. The writing style gives me a sense of the character. I felt the same way about Twilight. The writing quality lent itself to the character and thereby the overall story for me.

So….I’m loving it.

But. I’ve got one huge problem with it.

WHAT woman has THAT much sex and doesn’t get a UTI (urinary tract infection/bladder infection)?

I mean…come on people?!?!? It’s just blowing the whole believability of the book out of the water for me.

Ok, I admit, it’s quite likely a sensitive subject for me right now. I’m sitting reading this deliciously sexual book and thinking about all the wonderful things I’d like to do with hubby while there sits an angry bird screaming its freaking head off at me. I read about this woman having fabulous sex at least twice a day thinking “hey…I could do that…” and I swear at the first thought flames literally shoot out of my hooha.

It’s so bad; I’ve been tempted to shave “BURNING” in my pubic hair as a warning to hubby.

Yes….I am currently dealing with yet again, another bladder infection.

It’s like my 10th in the last year or so. I try antibiotics. I try cranberry. I drink tons of water. I pee after doing the deed. I wipe front to back. I’ve even given up my BATHS (GASP?!?!?)! It doesn’t seem to matter. I take one itty, bitty peak at hubby’s bad boy and BAM…bladder infection.

What’s a girl to do?

I read these books, watch movies or TV and see all these women having all this fabulous sex all the time and it makes me feel….less. I’m 37 years old, in the prime of my life and I want to be all that I can be in the boudoir. I want to shout orgasms from the roof top. I want to dance naked in the rain. I want to scream out in lust! I want to unleash my sexual Goddess divine. Because I know, deep down, buried under the recurring bladder infection, chronic constipation, and fatigue from a sometimes stressful job, she’s in there. Screaming and begging to come out and play.

And alas….the angry vagina burns on.

But have no fear….We continue to fight the good fight. I’m off to make yet again another doctor’s appointment and this time I’ll be asking to see a specialist. Seriously. I’ve had enough. I need to bitch slap that angry bird into tomorrow.

My inner Goddess divine says so!

Look out Fifty (and hubby)…when I get this old girl all fixed up, I plan on putting you to shame!

How do you unleash your inner sex Goddess divine? How do you  juggle life…and maintain a healthy sex life with your partner? How do you come to terms with the portrayal of women and sex in the media with real life? Any bladder infection tips or tricks? Come on…share the wealth….

More blog deliciousness here:

Breaking in spring with fling and flare

As May comes to a close, Hubby and I have been diligently celebrating our most revered month. It’s a month of celebration and glory; a month of happiness; a month of pure JOY; and a month of skipping, hand-in-hand through the tulips. Everything looks brighter, better, more jubilant in May.

Why do we love May so much?

Gardening starts? Nope

Spring is in the air? Nope

Flowers and trees are in bloom? Lovely…but that’s not it….

BBQ season begins? Well…that is a definite bonus but…nope

Golf? Ok, well that is quite yummy!!!! But no…

May 1st marks the official start of outdoor sex season (OSS). Yeahhhhh!!!!

That’s right folks. It’s time to get your groove on in the big bad outdoors. And today, I’m going to share with you some tips and tricks that I’ve tried and tested (the things I do for my readers…) to make sure you get the most out of this year’s OSS!

Location Location Location

I can’t say it enough. It’s true in real estate and it’s true for OSS. You gotta get the right spot. First, you must be on the same page as to your goals. Is it the risk of getting caught that gets you fired up or do you prefer a little privacy? By making sure you are the same page, you and your partner can find the perfect local.

For those exhibitionist types, why not try a quiet park at dusk or a dark alley late at night. Perhaps an evening beach walk to cool off (and heat up), or slip away from the party to find a quiet spot just in the tree line.

If you’d prefer to enjoy OSS without the fear of public observation or police intervention, try the rooftop of your apartment building or perhaps take a little off-trail exploration on your next hiking trip. Why not your own backyard (hubby and I have a very private back deck)? No privacy…no problem! You can make a private area in your backyard with the careful placement of a BBQ, some chairs and a beach umbrella. Get creative people.

Planning for spontaneity = tons of fun

Although you want your OSS to be fun and spontaneous, a little planning will ensure things go smoothly. Make sure to have OSS kits in all the key places; the truck, the camp, the RV, the Rhino etc. You get the idea. OSS kits should contain sunblock, bug spray, lube, toilet paper, baby wipes and hand sanitizer. I also highly recommend keeping small travel blankets here and there since they come in mighty handy for OSS. Nothing kills the mood more than sand in all the wrong places or a burn from a hot car hood.

The right clothing makes all the difference

For those interludes that are more private, clothing is less of an issue since there’s nothing quite as liberating as frolicking totally buck in the bush. But for those outdoor escapades that might be a wee bit more risky (the beach in the DR, for example), wearing the right apparel will only enhance your overall experience. You want to wear items that grants access that can be hidden just as quickly as shown. For men, it’s less of an issue but for the ladies, try a flowing dress to hide a multitude of sins. Apparel that has stretch is your new BFF so skirts with a little bit of Spandex work wonderfully.

There you have it people, my tried, tested and true tips and tricks to getting your nasty on in the great outdoors. OSS only lasts so long so get out there and get busy!

What’s your take on outdoor sex season? Are you game or do you turn your nose up at such ideas? Any tips and tricks to share with my readers who dare to try it? What’s your favorite or craziest OSS spot? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

Can cheating be chalked up to hormones?

A few weeks ago, I read an article in Women’s Health about why people cheat. Researchers are exploring how our hormones can flare up and cause a literal chemical reaction within our brain that they think actually makes it harder to say “no” and easier to say “ohhhhh yes…” playing a definite role in people’s choices. 

In relationships in the past, monogamy did not always come easy to me. I cheated for a number of reasons – I wanted an out, I was more interested in someone else, I was bored, and sometimes for no specific reason at all. And yes, I can most certainly say that there was an internal chemical and hormonal reaction that played a role making it difficult to say “no” once those lines started to get crossed and blurred. The pounding heart, the excitement, the anticipation, the thrill, the adrenaline – talk about a rush!

So can I chalk up my past indiscretions to chemicals, absolve myself of my guilt, and lay my choices at the feet of my hormones entirely?

Absolutely not! There are a number of ingredients that come into play when a person decides to cross over to the dark side. Hormones and chemicals are definitely part of the mix. An unhappy relationship; doesn’t help but I don’t think “causes” infidelity.

Honestly, I think the main reason people cheat is because they don’t think any better of themselves.

In the end, I cheated because I didn’t respect and love myself enough to know that I was worth better choices and decisions. It was a reflection of what I thought of myself rather than a reflection of the state of my relationship or the height of my hormones.

Now at 35, married for the second time, having been faithful for nearly six years, I can be sure that I won’t cheat again – not because I promised I wouldn’t, not because I am so in love with my husband (although I am), not because society says it’s wrong – I won’t ever cheat again because I know that I am worth so much more than that, because I believe I deserve better, and because nothing that makes me feel badly about myself is ever worth doing – no matter what the hormonal rush!

Why have you cheated in the past? Or what has stopped you from cheating? Do you think hormones can really take over entirely?

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