Tie a MADD Canada red ribbon and show the world you pledge to drive sober

Across Canada, local chapters of MADD Canada are launching the Project Red Ribbon campaign. From November 1st to the first Monday after New Year’s Day, local Chapters together with area businesses are asking residents of their communities to tie a MADD Canada red ribbon to their antenna, side mirror or other visible location on the vehicle and/or on their key chain, purse, backpack or briefcase.

The red ribbon is a small but powerful symbol. It signifies a person’s commitment to drive safe and sober during the holiday season and throughout the year. It also serves as a tribute to all victims who have been killed or injured in impaired driving crashes.

Project Red Ribbon targets the Christmas and New Year holiday season because it is the busiest time of year on most social calendars; with so many social gatherings and holiday toasts, there is a high risk for impaired driving.

And this year is especially uberlicious because it marks the 25th anniversary of Project Red Ribbon and a 25-year-long partnership with Allstate Insurance Company. Can you imagine? How often do you hear about a 25-year-long corporate partnership? Love it!

In that time, Allstate Canada has been a supporter of many of MADD Canada’s programs, including Project Red RibbonCampaign 911 and the School Assembly Program, as well as numerous statistical and research publications, resources for victims and other resource, education and awareness materials. Not to mention, Allstate Canada is the Title Sponsor of the 2012 Project Red Ribbon campaign.

In honour of the 25th annual Project Red Ribbon campaign, a special statement is being released by Prime Minister Stephen Harper, and Member Statements are being read in the House of Commons and the Senate. Across the country, provincial/territorial proclamations, statements or other observances to mark Project Red Ribbon are happening in: Newfoundland and Labrador, Prince Edward Island, Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, Québec, Manitoba, Saskatchewan, Alberta, British Columbia, the Yukon and Nunavut.

It breaks my heart and is so unfortunate that we continue to need campaigns such as this. Sad that impaired driving isn’t a thing of the past. Despite federal and provincial/territorial laws and penalties, police enforcement and awareness efforts, and despite the obvious risk of crash, death and injury, people are still getting behind the wheel impaired. On average, every single day, 4 Canadians die and 174 are injured in impairment-related crashes. That’s almost 1,500 deaths and over 63,000 injured every year. Impaired driving is the leading criminal cause of death in Canada.

It’s unacceptable that this year tens of thousands additional family members and friends will have to cope with the loss of a loved one or with a serious injury, all because someone chose to drive impaired. Impaired driving is not an ‘accident’ – someone makes a decision to get behind the wheel impaired. It’s 100% preventable.

So….this holiday season:

  • Plan ahead for your holiday events, and encourage your families and friends to do the same.
  • Take a cab, take public transit, arrange a designated driver or plan to stay the night.
  • And remember, if you see an impaired driver, call 911 and report that driver. The call may just save a life.

You can get your red ribbon by donating online at MADD Canada’s web site, visiting one of MADD Canada’s many sponsors’ outlets, or contacting your nearest MADD Canada Chapter or Community Leader.

Everyone in Canada (and around the world) has the power to stop this senseless and needless crime.

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Did you know about the Project Red Ribbon campaign? Will you wear your red ribbons with pride? How else do you publically display your commitment to drive sober? I’d love to hear your thoughts…

On August 1, 2009, my beautiful mother-in-law’s life was cut tragically short by an impaired driver and my stepson’s life changed forever. In honor of Donna and Jordan Kennie, please don’t drink and drive. Impaired driving is 100% preventable. Think about it.

Support MADD Canada and follow them on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and on the Web.

Text MADD to 45678 to donate $5 today. Report impaired drivers – CALL 911.

More blog deliciousness here:

Stick people get animated for MADD Canada

I’m sure you’ve seen them; the stick families. The little decal representations of family members, pets, hobbies etc on display on the rear window of vehicles as a symbol of the vehicle’s precious cargo. It’s hugely popular here.

I think they are adorable! I’d love to have a little stick decal of Hubby, the Dude and TESS!!

One MADD Canada chapter, MADD Edmonton & Area, is tapping into the stick family decal phenomenon to drive the message of impaired driving home. They’ve developed the Stick Family Campaign; animated decal stick figure family illustrating what happens after a tragic car crash has occurred. Like last week’s post with Simple Plan’s video, this campaign shifts the focus away from impaired drivers and shines a light on the families who are affected by the carelessness of impaired driving.

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I get goose bumps every time I watch it. So simple yet so powerful.

I love how this campaign is designed to make us think critically about a serious situation because, as the commercial shows and we all know, the decision to drive impaired has long and devastating effects.

The Stick Family Campaign also produced coordinating print material and impaired driving awareness decals.

However, I haven’t been able to track down where a person can buy these decals specifically although I believe you can get window decals custom-made at local print/design shops. Hmmmm…something to consider….

What do you think of using a popular fad like the stick family decals to relay an important message? Do you have stick family decals on your vehicles? Would you have some custom-made in honor of a loved one or to relay socially responsible messaging that’s close to your heart? I’d love to hear your thoughts…

On August 1, 2009, my beautiful mother-in-law’s life was cut tragically short by an impaired driver and my stepson’s life changed forever. In honor of Donna and Jordan Kennie, please don’t drink and drive. Impaired driving is 100% preventable. Think about it.

Support MADD Canada and follow them on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and on the Web.

Text MADD to 45678 to donate $5 today. Report impaired drivers – CALL 911.

More blog deliciousness here:

Urban Word Wednesday: Cropnihilation

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME, hubby…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Cropnihilation (by hubby): the dirty grandfather of cropdusting (the act of farting WHILE walking; leaving a trail behind yourself). Cropnihilation is cropdusting on speed.

Examples Of Use:

If y’all follow hubby on Facebook, you saw his recent post on his experience at Sobey’s yesterday.

Hubby shared this little ditty with me after work while we were waiting in line at Canadian Tire. He also told it with a little more…flare! Had me howling!

Hubby: I think I need to take a shower before cooking supper.

Me: why? Rough day at work?

Hubby: I went to Sobeys today and was following about 10 feet behind an old fella when all of a sudden he balled up his fist and coughed. At the same time, he let out the loudest, largest fart I’ve ever heard! It was insane and RIGHT in front of me. I couldn’t get around it even if I wanted to. I had to walk right into it!

Me: OMG the old dude totally cropdusted you…that’s hilarious.

Hubby: ok, A) it’s not funny and B) that was no cropdust honey…that was a cropnihilation! He might as well of sat on my face. He might as well shit ON me!

*I couldn’t stop laughing at this point*

Hubby: I feel dirty and violated!

 Me: you should definitely sanitize when we get home!

Ever been cropnihilated or even cropdusted? Ever been the perpetrator? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

Think you are ok to drive after having a couple?

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Brought tears to my eyes.

It may be an awareness commercial but this scene couldn’t be more real. It couldn’t be more every day. How many times have you heard friends, family or acquaintances ask someone if they are ok to drive. How many times have you heard a person say “Nahhh…I’m good. I’ve only had a couple…” and watched he/she get behind the wheel of a car. I know I have in the past…sad to say but many times.

And maybe the person made it home safe and sound. But what I am learning is that only perpetuates the choice and behaviour. A choice that someday could have deadly consequences.

Why take the risk?!

If you have to ask someone “do you want me to drive?” then you already know your answer.

Take the keys. Insist on driving. Insist on taking a cab. Don’t get in the vehicle. Call 911.

If someone asks YOU if you are ok to drive, then YOU know the answer. You aren’t. Step aside and let someone who hasn’t had a drink get behind the wheel.

It may seem like overkill but having “just a couple” doesn’t make it right to drive. It doesn’t make it safe. It is never worth the risk!

I know I’ve learned my lesson. I’d speak up. I’d insist! Whatever it took. Even if it meant they hated me, got angry, or threatened to end our friendship. Doesn’t matter. I don’t ever want to wonder “what if I had just…

Join me in the fight against impaired driving. Write your MP and tell him/her that you want them to support random breath testing!

If your spouse, BFF or family member said they were ok to drive after only having a couple but you weren’t so sure, what would you do? What would you say? How would you stop them? Let’s talk about it so we can all learn and build strategies so our loved ones never take the risk.

On August 1, 2009, my beautiful mother-in-law’s life was cut tragically short by an impaired driver and my stepson’s life changed forever. In honor of Donna and Jordan Kennie, please don’t drink and drive. Impaired driving is 100% preventable. Think about it.

Support MADD Canada and follow them on Facebook, Twitter (@maddcanada), YouTube, and on the Web. Text MADD to 45678 to donate $5.

More blog deliciousness here:

Digging the letter “J” and Kathy Owen

I am not sure how the whole thing got started but there’s a little game flying around the blogosphere where peeps get assigned a letter and share their top 10 things that start with said letter. I first came across Myndi Shafer’s love affair with the letter B and then…Kathy Owen’s follow-up frenzy with the letter R.

Well…not wanting to be left out of anything, I begged Kathy to assign me a letter and let me play along.

She gave me…the letter J! Squeee!

I am so excited because the letter J is uber sexy (I mean…look at those curves….) not to mention, there are a ton of fabulous things that I love that start with the letter J. Today, I shall share with you my top 10. Buckle up!

1. Java: Girl gots to have her java! I am not the ultimate java drinker like my blog BFF Jenny Hansen (who is a fabulous J herself…she actually dreams of bathing in java). But I do like my one cup a day in the morning. It’s like I can’t really get started till I’ve sipped away a hot steaming cup of java. Yum.

2. Jacked Up: I love TLC’s Say Yes to the Dress and when they launched the Atlanta version with Lori and Monty and their beautiful southern accent…well I just about died and went to heaven. A PVR staple in my house, these two also coined the term “Jacked Up” which is all about bedazzling their brides…LOVE IT! I like to get jacked up all the time!

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3. Jewellery: well duh?!?! Of course jewels are in the top 10! The bigger, brighter, fanciers, and flashier…the better!

4. Jackpot: what I hope to win someday but also one of mine and hubby’s fav slang sayings we use to indicate we found something that’s either A) fabulous or B) has been lost and is now found.

Me: Hey hubby…get in here…and bring the olive oil.

Hubby: Jackpot!

5. Just sayin’: another favorite slang saying that I am wearing out. It’s my cover when I know I am being too blunt with someone.

Me: You totally need some extensive therapy to deal with your daddy issues…just sayin’!”

Goes well with a triple z snap and some head bobbing.

6. Jiffy Pop: Hubby and I have a little story about Jiffy Pop. Y’all know we love camping. With no microwave, Jiffy Pop is a fantastic popcorn treat to cook up over an open fire. But…one needs to shake the Jiffy Pop over the heat so the kernels don’t burn.

No problem. Most campground fire pits have a grill top so you can cook on them. Or set Jiffy Pop on them and use a stick to shake it.

One night camping, hubby and I got a little tipsy around the fire (shocking…I know…). And of course, we got the munchies. So…we decided to whip up some Buttery Jiffy Pop. The only problem, the fire pit didn’t have a grill top…and we didn’t have anything to put the Jiffy Pop on.

Not to fear, hubby (the ingenious little bugger that he is) rewired the Jiffy Pop’s handle around a long stick so we could hold it over the open fire and “shake” as required. With the butter sizzling and the kernels just starting to pop, we awaited snack heaven with bated breath. However…in our excitement, we accidentally pierced a hole in the container. DANG! Before we knew it, all that delicious popcorn and butter poured into the fire…

But that wasn’t the worst part.

Seconds after…FLAMING popcorn started FIRING out of the fire.

We literally had to dive to take cover.

Jiffy Pop has been a fav in our house ever since. You can’t buy that kind of entertainment!

7. Je t’aime: I love you in French. I love you in any language rocks!

8. Jell-o Shooters: a party staple! My fav…strawberry with coconut rum. Yum! Looking for some recipes to try? Check out some ideas here.

9. Jansen, Jenny, Jami, Jennifer, Jillian, Jody,and Julie: DUH?!?!?! Some of the BEST bloggers around!!! And people I’d totally share my Jell-o shooters with!

And last but not least…cause y’all know I love to laugh…is:

10. Jeff Dunham: one of my most favorite comedians EVER! He is a ventriloquist with characters he’s made himself that totally come to life on stage. You forget they are dolls…it’s amazing. Hubby and I saw him last year and near fell off our chairs laughing. If you ever get the opportunity to see him, GO! He’s probably most known for his character Achmed the Dead Terrorist but I loved them all!

So what are some of your favs that start with the letter “J”? Stories behind the pick? Feel free to play along in the comments…or I can always assign you a letter so you can play on your blog (or pick your own and join in). Ask and you shall receive.

More blog deliciousness here:

  • LOVED Julie Glover’s post on why we cuss – totally thought-provoking!
  • Lisa Hall-Wilson’s post on raising expectations Pretty Woman style reminded me a lot of my post on how buying clothes for my bigger bode really helped fire up my confidence. Loved it Lisa!
  • Absolutely stupendous post by August McLaughlin on loving ourselves…just as we are!

Missed connections…online cupid fun

Ok. I am sooooo out of touch! I had NO IDEA. I can’t believe I didn’t know. Why didn’t someone tell me?!?!

About. Missed. Connections.

I came to it almost by accident. I discovered the YouTube talk show Dirty Talk Dating (fabulous – love these people!) with Tess and Lou’s interview with Melissa Center who started Missed Connections Live where she produced funny videos BASED on real New York Missed Connections postings.

If you are like me, your first question is “what’s a missed connection post?”

Well…I guess people all around the world write and post these “missed connections” advertisements on Craigslist detailing their “missed connection” with someone. Perhaps it was someone you locked eyes with on the subway but didn’t have the guts to talk to; maybe an arm brush at the coffee shop with a cute guy and as you went to say hi, he turned and walked away; or maybe it was an incidental urinal meeting between two men where you wish you’d have had the guts to introduce yourself but felt the moment wasn’t quite right.

Shut up? I know! It’s true!

People actually post this stuff. And then someone makes funny videos about it.

ONLY on the Internet could we be so fortunate.

Although sadly, it seems like Melissa isn’t posting any more videos. We can all console ourselves by watching the ones she did put together. Here are a couple of my personal FAVS!

Hey Beautiful Lady

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Be My John Roberts

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OMG hilarious!

Then for shits and giggles, I went on Craiglist to see if Missed Connections is for real and guess what…it IS!!! Here are some samples from yesterday’s Toronto’s Missed Connections section on Craiglist that I just had to share…

JEWISH BAKERY/RESTAURANT – m4w – 42 (Very specific)

Date: 2012-08-27
Reply to this post

Today I was at a very well known toronto jewish bakery/restuarant for lunch. You were sitting with there with a friend. We casually exchanged glances and I have to say you looked terrific. If this is you and you read this..what restaurant were we at

Goodlife gym – m4m (Kingsmill (Etobicoke))

Date: 2012-08-27
Reply to this post

We were side by side at the urinal today. You – bearish, goatee. You were playing with yourself and you caught me looking at you. We made eye contact as I turned to leave. Hope to see you back there again. If you see this, tell me what I was wearing so I know it’s you.

Gorgeous ebony in black and white dress waiting in bus stop – m4w – 50 (Albion Road and Armel Court)

Date: 2012-08-27
Reply to this post

This is a long shot, but I felt compelled to post an ad just in case you or somebody who knows you sees this. I was driving northbound on Albion Road around 10:15 AM today, and when I got to Armel Court, you were standing in the bus stop, wearing a black and white dress, to the best of my recollection. I was driving by in a black vehicle. Our eyes met as I passed you, and you flashed me a great smile which I returned. I was going to turn around immediately and go back and talk to you, but alas, I didn’t. In any case, if you do see this, please contact me. I would love to meet you and see more of that gorgeous smile!

Goodlife chat – m4m – 40 (North York/Toronto)

Date: 2012-08-27
Reply to this post

This is going to sound way too cryptic but here goes. I’ve seen you around this location of GoodLife (not a downtown location btw) for about 3 years and only recently have we started acknowledging each other – to the point where last week I introduced myself – N___ to you by name and you told me your name S___. We’re both over the age of 40 – (i assume you are – i know i am). We’ve only talked about your fitness regime and my running. I’d like to take it further. It never seems to be the right time to strike up a conversation with you, but damn I’d like to! I think you’re married (to a woman no less!) but my senses tell me something more is going on. Anyway in the rare chance that you read this we had a very brief interchange this morning and i wish i’d continued it beyond what was said. Write me back if you recognize any of this. – i’m keeping it cryptic for obvious reasons.

Just call me cupid!

Did you know about this Missed Connections thing (and if so…why did you not tell me?!?!)? Have you ever posted a Missed Connection? Ever had a Missed Connection you wish you would have posted about? Come on…share the wealth…

It’s Twisted Tuesday and that means it’s time to enjoy a smile, giggle or laugh…here’s hoping I’ve provided it in spades…enjoy!

More blog deliciousness here:

How can people continue to drink and drive after hearing these stories?

You may have seen on Facebook or in the news the deeply tragic story about a fatal crash that killed a Calgary woman Sunday August 12, 2012.

Kelli-Jo Smith, 38, died after the Ford pickup her husband was driving was hit by a Mercedes about 3:15 am Sunday. What makes the already tragic story even more gut wrenching (as if it could be) is that Kelli-Jo and her husband were actually acting as sober, designated drivers for a very responsible wedding crew who called on them for their assistance.

The best man in the wedding, after drowning a few drinks to give him the courage to make his speech, made the smart choice and opted not to drive impaired. He called his uncle (who had always gladly taken calls in the middle of the night to be a DD) and his stepfather to drive a handful of people home who had been drinking.

After driving everyone home and visiting with a few friends, he and his wife (who had just celebrated their second wedding anniversary) were headed home themselves when their Ford F150 was t-boned by a Mercedes-Benz sedan. The truck spun and struck a large power pole and both Kelli-Jo and her husband, Sean, were thrown from the vehicle.

Reports state that when Sean gained consciousness, he heard his wife cry out and crawled 70 meters to hold her in his arms and say good-bye as she passed away.

Is that not the saddest thing you’ve ever heard? And so senseless! I have tears burning in my eyes.

Sean himself suffered multiple injuries including hand, ankle and spine fractures and severe road rash and is still in hospital while the 27-year-old male driver of the Mercedes sustained minor injuries…and was released on bail not 2 days after the crash.

Makes me sick.

The impaired driver faces charges of impaired driving causing death, impaired driving causing bodily harm, and refusing to provide a breath sample.

I’ll be continuing to follow this case.

This comes not ONE WEEK after a 19-year-old impaired driver killed 49-year-old Jayantha Wijeratne and his 16-year-old daughter, Eleesha, in Toronto. Antonette, Jayantha’s wife, was rushed to hospital with life-threatening injuries.

According to one news report, the family was returning from a 5-day vacation in Florida. Eleesha’s 19-old-brother, Brian, who wasn’t with the family when the crash happened, was informed about the death of his father and sister by two police officers. He then had to tell his mother, in critical condition, that her daughter and husband were dead.

Can you imagine? My heart breaks for these families. Such senseless devastation!

You can see an interview between Sun News’ Charles Adler and Brian Wijeratne on what’s happened to his family. Charles asks the question “are our drunk driving laws tough enough?” Brian responded with a sentiment I share. It feels like people don’t view drunk driving causing death as much, certainly not murder. It’s like impaired drivers who kill aren’t considered killers because they were drunk and suddenly that becomes an “excuse” or makes them less accountable for their choices and actions.

I agree with Brian. And I think if you choose to drive drunk, that should be considered intent to kill and it should be treated like premeditated murder. But I realize, I am slightly bias.

I leave you with this…Rethink Impaired Driving!

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What do you think? Is impaired driving causing death murder or do you think that because the driver was under the influence, they weren’t in their “right” frame of mind and therefore it’s good that it’s treated like a lesser offence? What do you think needs to change so that impaired driving stops? Is it laws, policies, education or a combination of all three? Or do you think as long as there is alcohol, there will be drunk drivers?

On August 1, 2009, my beautiful mother-in-law’s life was cut tragically short by an impaired driver and my stepson’s life changed forever. In honor of Donna and Jordan Kennie, please don’t drink and drive. Impaired driving is 100% preventable. Think about it.

Support MADD Canada and follow them on Facebook, Twitter (@maddcanada), YouTube, and on the Web.

More blog deliciousness here:

Celebrate national underwear day with a panty party for two

I can’t believe both Jenny and I missed that it was National Underwear Day (NUD) on August 5, 2012. Alas, all is not lost. Jenny gathered the troops and we are going to do some panty partying like there’s no tomorrow. She kicked things off with a little belated NUD shindig with 8 hilarious undie facts and today, she took it to a whole new level with a post on VIBRATING panties. I gotta be honest. I think I want a pair!

Well dust off your tiaras and whip out the feather boas, it’s time to rock the panty party with Fundies; the underwear built for two!

They may look like unsuspecting plain old cotton undies but these super-sized, four-legged banging briefs will have you and your partner setting the sheets on fire.

No arsenal of erotica is complete without a pair.

Not to mention, the versatility. You and your partner can wear the briefs front to front or back to front depending on personal preference and favorite position.

My concern is mine and hubby’s propensity towards clumsiness. It’d definitely be interesting trying to maneuver into these orgasmic undies. I pray they are made with lots of spandex. Albeit, getting IN them would be half the frisky fun. I am not sure we could do it and stay vertical but hey, it’s all about getting horizontal, right?!?! It’s getting back OUT?!? Let me just say, I’d be keeping a pair of scissors handy for an easy exit.

Any Fundie fun to share? What’s the wackiest underwear adventure you’ve ever attempted? Think you’ll add these to your boudoir box of love? How are you celebrating national underwear day? Come on…share the wealth…

It’s Twisted Tuesday and that means it’s time to enjoy a smile, giggle or laugh…here’s hoping I’ve provided it in spades…enjoy!

More blog deliciousness here:

The best glamping (glamour + camping) accessory yet

My newest glamping accessory!

Y’all know I love camping with a few glamping fineries. There’s nothing quite like enjoying the great outdoors, feeling the wind on my cheeks, the smell of a camp fire, roasting marshmallows and making smores, and stuffing my face outdoor cookeries.

But there’s one problem…one tiny crack in my love affair with camping.

The washroom walk.

There’s nothing worse than the 1 km leg-crossed sprint I have to make in the morning to hit the bathroom. Or how about doing the “I gotta pee so bad I’m about to bust” dance while gathering shower gear before heading to the latrine. Not to mention the fifty bathroom treks when I’m enjoying a couple of beers around a fire.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for getting fit and going for a hike but not when it’s a matter of life and urine at 6 am…totally cramps my camping style.

And while I’m all for peeing outside (y’all know I got mad crouching tiger, hidden dragon skills in the outdoor potty squat) let’s just say that the flashlight traffic coupled with the inadequate definition of a “wooded site” doesn’t leave me much room to demonstrate my peeing prowess with privacy!

In comes hubby to save THE day!

(www.canadiantire.ca)

This weekend, he surprised me with Canadian Tire’s Broadstone Privacy Shelter and…a little portable chemical toilet to boot!

I was delighted. Hubby spoils me with the BEST stuff!

It was off to our campsite to set it up. It took about 5 minutes and the thing is perfect. It’s a totally multipurpose space (and y’all know I dig multipurpose stuff). It can be used as a shower and changing room since it’s got a divider in the middle to create two separate rooms and a bit of screen material on the bottom for drainage. Or, the room divider can be rolled up to create one large room for say clothing and storage.

I personally created on big, beautiful bathroom!

Best yet, it was on for 40% off from Canadian Tire so regular price $120, hubby scored this camping diva delight for $72 bucks! BAM!

(www.canadiantire.ca)

For $40, the toilet was the cheapest option (I mean, we can’t go that crazy for camping supplies right) and it does the trick. It’s got a molded seat that provides home-like comfort. The lid doubles as a toilet paper roll holder and an inner splash cover. And the removable inner bucket makes disposal a snap.

And to keep things even easier, we have a rule. The porta-potty is for number 1 only. For number 2…you hit the loo!

I’m just happy there’s no more mad-morning bathroom bolt for me!

Any camping accessories rock your world? Any glamping items you think are must have? Are you an avid outdoors person or more the hotel kind? What are your fav family outings/vacations? Come on…share the wealth…

It’s Twisted Tuesday and that means it’s time to enjoy a smile, giggle or laugh…here’s hoping I’ve provided it in spades…enjoy!

More blog deliciousness here:

Cell phone carryitis; yet again another female issue

Recently, I got a tweet from Julie Glover whose been suffering with cell phone carryitis. I know we can all relate. I mean, as women, where do you put the damn thing??? Our wardrobe isn’t always suited for the waist clip. Nothing takes away from the punch of a power suit more than a bulge at my jacket. Do you wear it under or snagged sort of over? And I feel for Julie when she talks about it yanking down her yoga pants. Been there, done that. Like Julie, I don’t always wear a bra to stuff it into (and who wants cell phone shaped boobs anyway??!?!).

So I went on the hunt for some options for Julie (who has a HTC smart phone) that I know all the ladies will love and adore (and hey…maybe some gents as well). The great thing, most of these come in a variety of shapes and sizes for different cell phone types. Let’s get started.

HOLY cow! Check out Story Leather. These folks custom make leatherware for your PHONES (and tablet or eReader….)! Seriously?!?! Yes! You can choose from a variety of options, every color known to man (lots of PINK to choose from), custom interior, and different types of closures (so you can bling it up baby!) You can also have them personalized and with your own logo!! Think…MONOGRAM!

Story Leather – Diamond (http://www.storyleather.com)

The options are endless! They run between $60 and $130 bucks!

My fav!!! Meet the Diamond (the name alone…hello?!?!) for $129.99. Squeee! Isn’t it adorable with its gorgeous blinged up strap for the fashionista in all of us? It’s gorgeous, classy and trendy;  it’s a mini purse for your phone.

Story Leather – Hot Pink (http://www.storyleather.com)

Or wait…giving up on customization, I could opt for the universal HOT PINK diamond puff leather case. Ohhhhh the choices…the options…

Wait. I am not shopping for me. Julie. Yes. Right. Sorry about that Julie, getting back to you.

Or perhaps you were looking for something wee bit more casual and hands free? How about the Cartera which comes in at a more modest $89.99 but still offers you all the customization so you can tailor it to your phone and your taste?

Story Leather – Cartera (http://www.storyleather.com)

What I like about the Cartera is not only is it a clutch (so it carries on your wrist easily…leaving you hands free), you don’t have to yank the phone out to use it. Flip it open and voila, text, talk, surf. Talk about convenient! Not to mention, you can put OTHER stuff in it as well so it’s super multipurpose (and y’all know I love multipurpose)!

I’m in love.

Want. One. Now.

LODIS – Crossbody (http://www.lodis.com/)

Another fabulous designer of smartphone cases that I came across is LODIS. Yummmmy! They have a variety of wristlet options (I mean, did you see the Austin one??? Doesn’t that just scream Natalie?!?! Oops…did it again…sorry Julie). I was thinking you might want to consider the tab chick olive crossbody.

It wears more like a traditional purse but substantially smaller and well suited for your phone. Yes, I agree, at $128 it’s pretty pricey but…it’s made of soft, smooth leather with shiny nickel hardware.

All For Color – Crossbody (http://www.allforcolor.com)

Or go ULTRA chic and cool with some less expensive crossbody versions ($18) by All For Color. They also have a ton of inexpensive smartphone wristlets to choose from.

But wait – let’s say you are looking for something a little less flashy? Something to wear around the house? Maybe something more casual and sporty? Why not try an armband? Something like the Arkon Universal Armband for large smartphones?

Arkon Armband (http://www.walmart.com)

I found this one on Walmart’s site. It fastens securely to your arm, great for a workout, run, or even if you are just zooming around the house or getting groceries.

It’ll go great with yoga pants and will make you look super sporty and athletic to boot (even if you aren’t). It’s lightweight and totally adjustable for your comfort. It also has a little spot for your earphones and a multi-touch display which also provides protection from fingerprints, dust and dirt.

Not to mention, a hidden key pocket!!! Yes…a secret compartment!!! Squee!! Strap this bad boy to your ankle and watch OUT James Bond! You are a serious writer packing some heat!

I can see it now….

You’re at the grocery store with your phone fastened securely to your ankle.

It vibrates (because all covert writers/spies have their phones on vibrate).

You look around. Is the enemy watching? This could be a potential agent calling? Maybe a new small press? You don’t want to give the edge to a follow grocery shopping writer…you look left…right…

Nope…coast is clear.

You prop that foot up on the produce fridge unit; give the lettuce guy a wink with a devilish grin.

He knows your hot…and important…and super secretive and sexy!

Flex the buttocks…why? Cause you can damn it!

You’ve got that twinkle in your eye.

You casually lift up the pant leg and…answer!

Covert phone tactics!

I mean…you are a writer…you gotta live this shit!

Seriously…for $13 bucks, you can’t go wrong! I mean…how much fun would that be?!?!

What kind of case do you use for your cell phone? Any great tips and tricks for Julie? Come on…share the wealth…

It’s Twisted Tuesday and that means it’s time to enjoy a smile, giggle or laugh…here’s hoping I’ve provided it in spades…enjoy!

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