Urban Word Wednesday: Bathtub Jesus

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Bathtub Jesus: Decorative lawn ornament, popular through much of New England, where an old cast-iron bathtub is buried standing up, halfway into the ground, and a statue of Jesus is placed inside. Frequently seen near or with a lawn ball. Associated with white trash.

Examples Of Use:

Yesterday, I talked about meeting my first ever, real life Bathtub Jesus on the weekend. Well, you had to know hubby and I would have some fun with that! On Sunday we golfed Pine Needles Golf and Country Club’s 18-hole River Course. This course ain’t for sissies. It’s a tough 5500-yard (women’s tee) course with lots of length, water, trees, and sand to test your skill. But I love it.

The first time I golfed it (3 years ago…my first year golfing), I scored a 270 (par for women is 73 but most people I golf with are around 110 to 120). I practically played the course twice. But you’ll be happy to know, I shaved a few strokes off my score since then. I’ve been averaging around 150.

Hubby and I enjoyed this conversation in the club house as we returned the key to our cart.

Hubby: I can’t believe you beat me…by 1 stroke…first time ever, eh?! You even pared a 500+ yard hole. A 120 is amazing! Great game…congrats honey!

Me: I owe it all to Bathtub Jesus.

Hubby: what does Bathtub Jesus have to do with anything?

Me: well, this morning when you thought I went to the bathroom, I actually walked down to the drug dealer’s Bathtub Jesus and had a little chat with the old fella…I asked him and his Dad to show me some golf luv!

Hubby: you know, I think their Bathtub Jesus is actually a Bathtub Mary?

Me: whoever it is…I think we need one! It’s obviously bringing the drug dealer some good luck and look how I golfed today?!?! We could put him or Mary near the cedar bush…it’d look fahhhbulous!

Hubby: God help me…

Me: that’s who I am trying to hook you up with…I am tellin’ ya!!!

Do you have any yard ornaments or decorations displayed? Seen any good ones lately? What [insert sport of choice here] God do you pray to? Come on…share the wealth…

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Comments

  1. Nat-ah-lee. Sweetie. Unless you want the leaves on your trees re-purposed as snot tissues, I recommend you nix the idea of emulating your drug-dealer-neighboUr’s yard art.

    Here in the south, it’s always lovely to see a flower bed adorned with the backside view of a plump-bottomed woman, bent over, exposing lace trimmed pantaloons, Hmmm… I’ll bet I could make a killing if I updated those ladies to modern thong undies. There would be more yard dimples in Texas than the number of BEN-WAhahaha’s I get from Urban Word Wednesday.

    IF I had a handy Bathtub Jesus, I would pray that rain not come until after The Hubster’s golf game. Five hours of house to myself? Priceless! It was part of our wedding vows. In place of “obey,” I promised to never learn to play golf (and, especially not with him).

  2. Yeah, I’m sure that’s exactly how religion works. LOL! It’s all about the Bathtub Jesus. :/

    Y’all crack me up, Natalie! I love that you taught me this word because I would have never known otherwise. I wonder who started this craze. Who has an old cast iron bathtub and a Jesus statue just sitting around and thinks, “Hey, I bet those two could go together?” And what about Sink Jesus? Or–God forgive me–Toilet Jesus? Would those plumbing fixtures work instead? I think I’ll stick with other Christian images in my house.

    • OMG sink and toilet Jesus…LOL! Luv it Julie…I totally think hubby and I should get one of each!! Squeeee…genius. I can use a little more BJ in my life…LOL.

      So glad you enjoy Julie…made my day!!

      • I think you should get one of each and sneak over into Snot-Leaf drug dealer’s yard. Bury them with Christian icons proudly displayed and hang a pair or panty-structions from the faucet or flush handles.

        I really think Julie’s onto something. Those Southern gals sure know how to decorate.

  3. LOL! That is probably the craziest lawn ornament I’ve ever heard of—and I’ve seen some doozies. I love that you had a chat with the holy bather and gained some golfing insight. Hilarious, Natalie. I bet there’s never a dull moment around your house. ;)

    I don’t have any lawn ornaments, but I did “steal” (more like borrow) a Jesus once. Long story you may’ve caught on my blog… Regardless, nothing as cool as bubble-loving B.J.!

    • That’s right August…you like thieving Jesus…LOL!

      Yes, the holy bather shone His luv on me and my golf game somethin’ fierce. I was praising BJ on every hole…

      Ummm…not many dull moments, that’s for sure. :-)

  4. Bathtub Jesus’ and their Mary counterparts are very common among Catholics here in OH. Their owners call them shrines. I think bathtub fits just as well.

    • Ahhhh yes!! Shrines. I say show your love in whatever way feels right…shrines, church, prayer or in your own heart – it all rocks. Although, I will say, there is something very adorable about the Bathtub Jesus!

      Thanks for swinging by MaLinda – wonderful to meet you.

  5. I think the craziest yard art I’ve seen was a fence adorned with bed pans. I’ve seen an old bed used to plant flowers in (get it? Flower – bed), old bathtubs and toilets used as planter “boxes” and even an old sink used as yard art, but the bed pans hanging on the fence were pretty much the icing on the cake. That was one sweet fence.

    I’m thinking you’d better stay away from your neighbor’s bathtub Jesus because that’s probably where he hides his stash or perhaps the dead bodies. Think about it. Who’d dig up Jesus looking for treasure? Not that a dead body is a treasure, but you get the drift.

    Rub a dub dub – one saint in a tub! I just made that up. Just now. Right off the top of my head. I think I need a snack.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    • NO???!!! Bedpans on the fence? You’re not making that up? That is so out of control…

    • A bed pan fence….well now…I can’t say that I’ve ever seen such a sight. I think I’d have fell over. LOL!!

      Ohhhh good point about Bathtub Jesus and the hidden stash/bodies. It is a fabulous spot cause who would EVER suspect….absolutely.

      ONE saint in the tub…ROFL!!! Love it Jansen….keep em’ coming!!!

  6. There. Now that I’ve blogjacked the hell out of this post, my work here is done. It’s all B.J’s over here today (you naughty girl).

    And can I just say that I LOVE golf. I’ll have to tell the story sometime about golfing on Sanibel Island when we spread my mom’s ashes. All I’m gonna say here is that we had to call the clubhouse to bring us another case of balls on the 6th hole. It went downhill from there and is one of the best golf stories EVER. :-)

  7. Natalie – don’t tempt me – I can’t tell what we actually saw – I can’t even post the pictures or I’d be banned from wordpress forever and a day – I will say it was 2 individuals sitting with lanterns dressed for Easter as rabbits – complete with ears and — well, never mind.

    • SHUT THE FRONT DOOR?!?!? Sheri….that is AWESOMENESS!!!! You could always EMAIL me pictures…WAHAHA!! Some people are insane. It’s fantastic cause it’s so entertaining for the rest of us…squeee!!!

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