Urban Word Wednesday: When Jesus Comes

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME, hubby…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Is this how you want to be when Jesus comes back?: a slang saying hubby jokingly asks me to see if I am comfortable with my behavior or (more likely) my choice of words and/or continued joking. Gets asked a lot when we are bantering back and forth. Originally from the movie Joe Dirt (see 4:41…it’s one of hubby’s favorite movies).

Examples Of Use:

Hubby and I were at the campground on the weekend and had dinner at the little canteen Friday evening. They make the BEST chicken strips. YUM! Given there was a good size crowd waiting to order and get food, hubby and I (as usual) decided to indulge in some friendly marital shock-and-awe bantering to keep everyone entertained. You know us when we get around a crowd of strangers. The gloves come off and laughter follows.

Note: there were no children scarred for life in the making of this Urban Word Wednesday post.

Hubby: so…we…ummm…gonna get it on later? Get the trailer a rocking?

Me: well with foreplay like that…absolutely! How could I resist??? I am wet just hearing the words. I nearly had an orgasm right here. Blew. My. Socks. Off. How about we skip dinner and go behind that tree right there?

Hubby: give a guy a break. I am not investing all that time and effort in foreplay just to get an “I’m tired…” I gotta know upfront if I stand a chance or not. Then I’ll invest. Just sayin’!

Me: sweep me off my feet Mr. Romance. We women can’t commit in advance. Lord. With all my hormones ranging around, I don’t know how I’m going to feel in 2 minutes, let alone 2 hours. Even if I said “sure thing hot stuff” right now…it ain’t a guarantee…sorry…but you’ll just have to take your chances…

Hubby: is this where you want to be when Jesus comes back?

Me: bring it on hubby…I ain’t afraid! Me and Jesus are hooked up! He’s got my back.

Hubby: seriously?!?!

Me: hell yes…triple z snap!

What are your favorite slang sayings that you and your partner share? Any inside jokes you wanna share? What phrases does he/she have that always crack you up, put a smile on your face and make you laugh? Come on…share the wealth…

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Comments

  1. I think you two are dangerous in public. Hilarious! But, dangerous.

    Imagine how many wives had to got to hear their horny amorous hubbies whine about suggest some trailer rocking action.

    Quick question — curious minds, as Jenny H says — did you leave any bark on the tree?

    • We did make sure there were no “youngsters” nearby…after that, it was game on. Shock and awe baby! LOL!!

      I know…hubby just creates fellow monsters where ever he goes. But I can tell you, there were many women around us nodding and smiling when I said my piece. :-)

      WAHAHAHA!! Bark on the tree…I’ll never tell. But let’s just say, the shit shack will never be the same…ROFL!!

  2. Bark on the tree. Ka-snort. My question? How good are the tires in that thar trailer?

  3. I adore this: “With all my hormones ranging around, I don’t know how I’m going to feel in 2 minutes, let alone 2 hours.”

    Now and then, I have this nagging feeling that Jesus will come back right when I’m on the porcelain throne or I stubbed my toe and said an expletive or I’m ranting about the stupidity of the human race. I’ll see Him and feel like saying, “Really? You couldn’t have come back while I was teaching Bible class or delivering food to the needy?”

  4. Oh Natalie, you crack me up! Thanks for the good laugh this morning!
    Julie’s comment reminded me of a true story. You should have seen the look on the faces of the people at the “Rockin’ Rodeo” one Hallowe’en night a few years ago when my hubby, dressed ad none other than Jesus himself (complete with long hair and beard!) walked in! It was priceless! Especially when hubby came out of the bathroom and told me that one guy (quite inebriated) took a look at “Jesus” using the urinal next to him and said, “You’re freaking me out, Man!” Some “Bishops” gave him the finger (probably because he one-upped them costume-wise and a Devil came up and said, “We need to talk.” LOL! People on the dance floor were yelling, “Jesus Rocks!”
    I remember saying to hubby that the people might be wondering if Jesus took the opportunity to mingle that night! :)
    Love your posts, Natalie!!! And love you!!!! xo

    • OMG Donna that is HILARIOUS and I can totally see him doing that. Hysterical! I wish I had been there in person to enjoy. Love the “we need to talk” by the devil. LOL!!

      Awwww…thank YOU!! Love you and thank you for always following, supporting and commenting. Means the world to me. xoxoxox

  5. Ha! Fantastic installment, Natalie. I always feel like I’m watching you two on TV. ;)

    My hubby and I both text “herbs!” when autocorrect ruins tangles up our text messages, because I tried to type “Hi baby” way back when and all he got was “HERBS!” We also call his dad “Dabney” because we were drinking wine with him and his wife, something we seldom do and were tipsy from our one glass ;), and he combined “baby” and “Dad.” Gotta love the inside funniness!

    • Those are fantastic August. Love it. HERBS and Dabney…ROFL!! Sooo cute. It’s those sweet inside jokes and saying that I think really “make” a couple…intimacy rocks! :-)

  6. I clicked over here thinking this would be about telling somebody off. Where I come from we say, “gonna have a come to Jesus meeting.” And what that means is you plan to verbally eat the hide off somebody’s ass. Not sure where it comes form.

    I like “is there where you want to be when Jesus comes?’ better, though.

  7. You guys are great! I love that you work so well together on the shock and awe skits. No pre-planning either. You just randomly break into shock and awe conversations.

    And, I hate to have to break it to you, but . . . ah . . . Jesus probably already knows what you do and how you do it and how often, so it won’t really matter that much what you’re doing when he . . . comes back. I’ll bet he even reads your blogs! He’s probably laughing his butt off right now.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

  8. Oh, Natalie! Seriously, we’ve got to get a mic on you guys. The podcasts would have an awesome following! When I was younger and my parents were working, a very “Christian-minded” neighbor would babysit me in her home. Her fave saying was “do you want to make the angels weep?” If I didn’t eat my peas. If I got into an argument with one of the other kids. If I didn’t sing along with the Bible songs, or asked a lot of questions about keeping the Sabbath, and so on.

    I wonder what camping outcome would have made the angels weep….

    LOL, thanks for the laughs!

    • Definitely need to get a good friend with a camera to follow us around. LOL!!

      Do you want to make the angels weep? My land…that’s a little harsh don’t ya think?!?! LOL!!! Wow…I think hubby and I would have the angels weeping for days… oops…HEHEHE…either that or laughing because they could see into our good hearts while we are having our insane fun. LOL!!

  9. This is too funny. I can just see you two out there doing this, and people whispering. My hubby hates it when I make a scene… even if for fun. He always says he’s the one whose gonna get beat up :-)

  10. Hubby aka Blog Heckler says:

    LOL! WALMART!!!!….That kid will never be the same …years of therapy ahead….trying to figure out where his fear of Librarians comes from…..Bahahahaha!

  11. I love that you KNOW you’re going to be entertaining peeps and just let it fly. Way too much fun! What the heck does it mean to leave bark on the tree? All I can picture is poor Natalie with scrapes from tree bark. With a rocking trailer. My eyes! They burn!

  12. Natalie – Time to educate hubby that predicting sex after dinner–as in you haven’t eaten yet– (especially fast food) can be somewhat iffy–and it becomes more so as we age. If hubby isn’t aware of this–and you’re going for the long haul–time for the truth to be revealed. No secrets in a great marriage.

    • LOL!!! Soooo true Sheri. He is learning that truth the hard way. He says that because I can predict I am going to take a shower or watch TV, I can predict sex…little does he know…heehee

      He just said…sitting beside me…”I can predict that I am going to have sex definitely…I am inviting you to join me.”

      Wahahahahaha!!!

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