Urban Word Wednesday: Sexpiration Date

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Sexpiration Date: When a man or woman has reached the maximum amount of time he or she can go without sexual intercourse.

Example Of Use:

Hubby and I were at the movies on Friday night. We went and saw Expendables 2 (loved it). By the time we got to the theatre, it was nearly full. We were having our popcorn, waiting for the movie to start while enjoying our usual banter. Much to our neighbors delight.

Hubby: do you think this could be a real “date night” tonight?

Me: what do you mean?

Hubby: you know….dinner…a movie…home for a little quality nookie?

Me: you call eating at the mall food court dinner?

Hubby: ok…since I short-changed you on dinner, I’d be willing to opt for a quickie when we get home. A little wham bam!

Me: hmmm…you’ve got yourself a deal! What’s up with your need to confirm here and now?

Hubby: I’ve reached my sexpiration date.

Me: sexpiration date?

Hubby: you know….the max amount of time I can go without getting it on.

Me: what happens if you pass your sexpiration date? Do you go chunky and awful smelling like the milk?

*I thought the ladies in front of us were going to DIE”

Hubby: nice…of course not. But I do get kind of cranky.

Me: True enough. Not worth the risk. We’ll take care of that tonight!

What’s your sexpiration date? Is it the same or different from your partners? Come on…share the wealth…

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Comments

  1. Hubby aka The Blog Heckler says:

    After the sexpiration Date you might need that MASQUE product from yesterday! haha!

  2. prudencemacleod says:

    Oh gods, I wish I’d been there to listen in. You guys rock!

  3. Amazingly enough, I’m the dude in my relationship and have a faster sexpiration date. Go figure…

    • Go figure!! You aren’t alone. I know quite a few couples in the boat…it’d be nice if we could all somehow get on the same sexpiration date but I have yet to meet that lucky couple…LOL!

  4. And THANK YOU darling, for shouting out my experience with Dr. Love. That sponge…Good Lord! I’m surprised the vajayjay (and my psyche) ever recovered. Can’t wait to go read Paige’s post!

  5. That, as usual, was awesome! Oh, to be one of those ladies sitting in front of you! I think a sexpiration date kind of depends on the relationship, at least for me. When you are getting it on the regular, you need it more regularly. So, your sexpiration date may be sooner. But if you’re not in a relationship, you can wait however long it takes for the right guy to show up. At least, that’s how it is for me. :)

  6. Too funny! Hmm… Guess I’m a bit like Jenny. I’ve often thought I’d convert to Mormonism…if I could have four or five husbands instead of it being the other way around. Most guys can’t keep up with one woman, much less several. :)

  7. I have a really long sexpiration date, much to the chagrin of my husband. Poor guy! But then again, he’s not going through menopause either so he doesn’t understand why my sexpiration date has suddenly been extended by a good long measure. Damn hormones.

    I’m glad to know that your hubs won’t “get all chunky and bad-smelling,” I was a little worried about that.

    Great pre-movie conversation.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    • Poor hubster but…alas…he loves you and he’ll just have to hang in there until the damn hormones level out!!

      Oh I am sure the peeps in front of us had a good long chuckle…LOL!!

  8. Seriously, if you and hubby get ANYWHERE NEAR Houston, my hubs and I are SO taking you out on the town. I will probably have to wear a Depends though cause I’ll be peeing in my pants from laughter.

  9. Ha! I wish you had that conversation on film, Natalie. Sounds like great TV script material… (Hint, hint! ;))

  10. You are a riot. I’m so glad my husband hasn’t sexpired. There have been some close calls.

  11. ROFL!

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