Urban Word Wednesday: Port-a-Hover

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Port-a-Hover: the hover position women take when using a port-a-potty so that their ass cheeks don’t touch the seat of the port-a-potty.

Examples Of Use:

As you know, hubby and I recently took a little mini-vacation to Shediac, New Brunswick: beach/cottage country. As it so happened, the Lobster Festival was in full swing during our stay which meant tons of neat things to see and do; daily entertainment, concerts, and a full exhibition with rides and games galore.

On Thursday evening, after a long day at the beach, we headed over to the beer gardens to see a great Bon Jovi tribute band, Keep the Faith.

Since it was a beer garden, there weren’t any seats. So before the band came on stage, hubby and I copped a squat just outside the tent on a side walk. The port-a-potties just behind us.

We enjoyed a beer and the cool breeze. There were people all around us, sitting, standing, smoking. That’s when hubby and I had the following convo much to our neighbor’s chuckles.

Hubby: you gonna check out a port-a-potty before the concert?

Me: yeah, probably a good idea.

Hubby: make sure you do the port-a-hover.

Me: Nah, I’m just gonna sit right down in the urine.

*Hubby snorts his beer – girl next to him (who was obviously eavesdropping) has her jaw dropped*

Hubby: what?!?!?

Me (with a straight face): my hamstring is still sore from golf so I don’t think I can manage the port-a-hover. Whatever. It’s only urine right? I mean…in emergency situations, people drink it so how bad can it be to get some on my ass? A GoGirl would totally come in handy right now!

Hubby: I’m speechless!

*we fist pump*

Do you practice the port-a-hover? Ever had to just sit down (and shudder to think what’s beneath you)? Share the wealth…

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