How far would you go to spoil your furbaby?

Tess

So y’all know I’m a bit insane about my furbaby, Tess. She’s the apple of my eye, my baby girl, my delight! Last year, she had knee surgery to repair a blown ligament and about a week ago, she had another surgery to remove two lumps.

We knew the two lumps were benign and we’d have left them alone. Older dogs do tend to get “lumpy” as they age but the large one on her hind end had grown from nothing to about a pound in weight in 8 freaking months! The vet recommended immediate removal upon a consultation. If you follow me on Facebook, you know this whole surgery experience was quite traumatic for me (Tess was fine…it was my anxiety that was sky high).

We picked the poor thing up after the surgery to take her home. She greeted us wearing a CONE and a drain in the back where the large mass had been removed. Given that fluid had been pumping to it for 8 months, they put the drain in so that the incision wouldn’t swell up.

Well…let’s just say that my idea of a “drain” and what the drain actually was were two different things. I expected a tube like “thing” attached to her collecting the “fluid”. But when they brought her out to me, there was Tess with two holes on either side of the incision and a rubber band thing that went through the two holes, tied in a bow…so that fluid (mostly blood) could just ooze out the little holes!

Tess after her lump-removal surgery.

I near fell over. A woman picking up food asked me if my dog had been in a car accident. It looked that nasty.

I was devastated. She looked like she was in so much pain. But I will say, after being home for a couple of hours, and getting that cone off (which I think traumatized her the most), she settled in and really didn’t seem to be bothered by it or in any pain what so ever. She was her usual happy-go-lucky self, if not a tad drugged up, dripping and smearing blood all over the house.

Whatever. Blood I can clean up. Dog I can’t replace. Bleed away baby!

ALL that for 1) your pity and dog-mother-of-year chants but also because 2) it made me want to spoil my baby girl and have I FOUND the perfect way to treat her.

Pet Loungers; modern pet furniture and accessories!

Let’s kick those sub-par “doggy beds” to the trash and treat our furbabies RIGHT!

OMG don’t you just think they are the perfect way to say “I love you” to your pooch or kitty! My issue will be choosing only one.

I can almost HEAR hubby groaning “ohhhh god noooo!!” which makes them that much niftier!

It was a tough call between the Bambú Hammock and the Bambú Daybed….but I think the Daybed screams Tess! It’s so…regal!

She’ll sleep easy and comfortably on this daybed created with solid bamboo and an ORTHOPEDIC memory foam mattress. How awesome will that be on the new knee and those sore incisions!!!

After her surgeries, it’s the least I can do! And although she’s healed beautifully with the new knee, the low-to-the-ground profile will make it easy for her to get up and down. Not to mention, the cushion is removable, washable and is stain-resistant, made from high quality ultra-suede fabric (so if she oozes from her drain, I can just whip this bad boy in the wash and voila, it’s like brand new).

And it comes in PASSION PINK!!!

Need I say more?!?!? Seriously!!! She’ll love it!!

Well…at least her Mom will!

For only a nominal fee ($249.99 us) you too can have one for you furbaby!

And of course, if we go with the Bambú Daybed, she’d totally need the MATCHING Bambú Angled Diner! DUH! It MATCHES….I mean…not getting it would be…well…like wearing pants without a shirt. They are a pair. A set. They go together! It’s only another $79.99 US…and at this point, that’s chump change!!!

It’s been 12 days since the surgery and Tess is doing wonderfully. Both incisions are healing beautifully (she gets her stitches out today) with no sign of infection or problems. We have been told that although the lumps were benign, we should expect them to grow back (given the type of lump they were). Dang! Not sure how we’ll handle that going forward. Tess would be a champ no doubt but her mother not so much…

What nifty gadgets have you treated your precious furbaby to? Ever had a lumpy dog/cat – how did you handle it? Come on…share the wealth…

It’s Twisted Tuesday and that means it’s time to enjoy a smile, giggle or laugh…here’s hoping I’ve provided it in spades…enjoy!

More blog deliciousness here:

Score more with a subtle approach?

Hubby and I are thankfully on the same page, reading from the same book, about 90% of the time, if not higher. So whenever we have a misfire of communication, it really stands out. And the one place we seem to cross signals is the boudoir. It can be like a massive land mine with trip wires and booby traps.

I am sure many of you ladies reading are nodding with a knowing smile “oh girl…I hear ya there…” It’s probably a common spot where a lot of couples differ. Ok…I know there are those who have no idea what I am talking about and to you I say “go talk about your budget…

A recent conversation with hubby went like this:

Me: my god, I finally figured it out. I was on Colin Falconer’s blog and he had this fantastic video by Amanda Gore (below) about the differences between men and women!

Hubby: yeah???

Me: she explained it perfectly. You love a direct approach. You love it when I reach down and grab your crotch and say “let’s get it on…” That makes you hot. You get fired up instantly. Zing. Ready for action! Put me in coach!

Hubby: true…

Me: so when you are in the mood, you do what anyone would do – you do onto me as you would like done onto yourself, right?

Hubby: well that makes sense…yes!

Me: but for me, a lot of the time the direct approach is like pouring ice water on my hooha! It makes me tense up and scream. You reach down for a grab and I’m like “what the hell??? You can’t just GRAB her. She’s not a toy or a stick. She’s tender and she likes to be romanced!!!”

Hubby: less direct???

Me: ya…you know….a more subtle approach. Instead of going straight to the business, rub my thighs…rub my upper chest…massage etc. Touch me every where but…there! Squeeee!!! I think your chances of “yes” moments would increase dramatically.

Hubby: here’s the deal. At least with the direct approach I don’t waste a bunch of time. I go in for a sample and get a yes or no immediately. BAM! I am not investing 45 minutes of a subtle only to get the same “no” I’d have gotten with the direct approach. The math doesn’t add up.

Me: lord…

The rest of the weekend was spent with hubby rubbing my inner thighs going “how’s this for subtle???” and me reminding him that it’s not “subtle” if you have to POINT IT OUT!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hysterical. My favorite part is when she says men have to get us to the point where we are going “touch the bits…touch the bits…

Ok ladies…have you got my back? Do you prefer the subtle or more direct approach? Guys, which approach has landed you the most success? What are some of the differences between men and women that crack you up? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

Talking toilet encourages people to call a cab!

Well call me crazy but I just love this latest impaired driving awareness tactic in the US.

According to the news story, federal funding paid to distribute talking urinal cakes that encourage patrons not to drink and drive to around 200 bars in 4 Michigan counties.

Shut up?!??! I know!!!

Picture this. You’re a guy (ok…just hang in there with me…). You are at a bar. You’ve had a few too many. You are planning to head out and drive yourself home but first, you need to hit the loo. As you stand there draining the lizard, a female voice pipes up and says:

Listen up. That’s right, I’m talking to you. Had a few drinks? Maybe a few too many? Then do yourself and everyone else a favour: Call a sober friend or a cab. Oh, and don’t forget, wash your hands. Call a ride…get home safe!

I love it!

Talking Urinal Cakes

Imagine the surprise customers would have. It’d be like a voice from God giving one last reminder.

The cakes also have the “Call a ride. Get home safe.” message imprinted on them.

You know, it’s the same message but it’s a completely new and unique way to get it out there. And quite frankly, anything that will get people’s attention, get them talking, and maybe even take pause before getting behind the wheel is uberlicous in my books!

Would a talking urinal cake make you think twice about driving impaired? Do you think it’ll be effective at getting the message across in a new way? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

On August 1, 2009, my beautiful mother-in-law’s life was cut tragically short by an impaired driver and my stepson’s life changed forever. In honor of Donna and Jordan Kennie, please don’t drink and drive. Impaired driving is 100% preventable. Think about it.

Support MADD Canada and follow them on Facebook, Twitter (@maddcanada), YouTube, and on the Web.

More blog deliciousness here:

Urban Word Wednesday: Douche Dial

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Douche Dial (brought to you by HUBBY!): A term to let someone know how much or how little they are acting like a real douchebag. The higher the douche dial, the bigger the douche.

Examples Of Use:

Last week, hubby and I joined some friends for a birthday dinner celebration. Somehow on the way to the restaurant, hubby came up with the douche dial term and we giggled about it incessantly. Of course, it became the center of our conversation that night since in a group setting, hubby and I can really get our banter on!

Hubby: I see you’ve turned your douche dial to high tonight honey!

Me: my douche dial is actually set to low but I can crank it up if you’d like?

Friends: douche dial???

Hubby: it’s a meter to evaluate her douchebagness!

Table: ROFL that’s awesome!

Hubby: and tonight she’s working that douche dial like a stripper on a pole?!

Me: I’ll take that as a compliment.

Me: I think it’s you who’s got the douche dial turned to max! However, if you need a lesson, I can turn mine to high any time to teach you the difference…that’s just how kind and generous I am. Give Give Give!

*Hubby holds his hand up and starts turning a virtual knob to HIGH!*

The table was in hysterics!

Do you like to spin the douche dial periodically? Know someone who does? Let’s hear your best douche dial stories people. Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

  • Did you read the Bloggess’ anniversary party post? OMG she totally outdid last year’s giant metal chicken. It involves a sloth people…need I say more?!?!
  • I’d love to be a fly on the wall when Lynnette Conroy’s coworkers receive her emails. Working from home must be awesome!

Sometimes the grass IS greener on the other side

Honestly, there is nothing I hate worse than clutter. A long reformed slob, it drives me absolutely batty (shut up hubby!). Now with all our electronic gadgets, our kitchen island has become a mass charging station. Two Blackberries, 1 Samsung Galaxy, 2 digital cameras, iPods, Kindles, laptops, tablets…the list goes on and on.

I swear it looks like we are gearing up to power the next space shuttle. It’s an endless collection of gadgets that sends my visual senses into overload. When I come into the kitchen in the morning greeted by the sight of oodles of metal, chords and blinking lights, I cringe. Not the way to start the day…no sirree!

There’s got to be a better way!

You betcha!

Decorative Things Grass Charging Station (http://www.decorativethings.com)

Allow me to introduce you to the top of my Christmas wish list (cause it’s never too late to start wishing): the grass charging station by Decorative Things.

For $28 (plus shipping), I can create a zen-like charging station in my own home! Thassss right!

In this nature-inspired oasis, the coiled wires are hidden in the bottom while all my gadgets sit pretty on the grass charging away. Genius people!

I definitely need a couple for the kitchen but hell…I might just get one for every room in the house. Ya never know when ya gotta do an emergency charge, right? Might as well look good doing it!

And…It comes in WHITE and a MINI version people!

It’s gorgeous and so…calming! Now I’ll actually look forward to plugging in my gear in at night.

Sleep tight Blackberry….night night iPod…rest easy Kindle…sweet dreams tablet…I hope y’all are comfy in your grass bed! I am the world’s best gadget mom!!

How do you handle all the electronics clutter in your home? Do you have a dream charging station or do you just plug them in where ever you have a free outlet? How do you handle clutter? Come on…share the wealth…

It’s Twisted Tuesday and that means it’s time to enjoy a smile, giggle or laugh…here’s hoping I’ve provided it in spades…enjoy!

More blog deliciousness here:

How long does it take for love to develop?

Hubby and I on our wedding day just after we said “I do”!

Last week I wrote a post about how long women (in search of a long-term partner) should wait before giving up the hooch. It created quite a stir in the comments section which, as Tomi (one of the commentors) pointed out, gave me the opportunity to clarify and communicate my position, which rocked! All in all, I found it challenging and exhilarating.

As part of those comments, Tomi asked me (or maybe he was asking hubby, wasn’t sure), how long, in my opinion, does it takes before love develops in a relationship.

An excellent question I found myself pondering last night as I watched the finale of the Bachelorette. In about 8 weeks, Emily weeded through 25 men on wild and worldly dates to narrow it down to just one (I won’t say who just in case you’ve PVRed it). At the finale, she professed her love and said “yes” when he proposed.

But is 8 weeks and a couple of one-on-one dates enough to truly develop “love”?

I don’t know. I definitely think it’s plenty of time to develop a solid case of lust and excitement knowing that the chemistry and potential for more exists.

I believe there is a big difference between lust and love. To me, lust is what we usually feel at the beginning of a relationship. The first few months where we have the rush of emotions, the wanting to be together all the time, the excitement, heart pounding, belly butterflies. Lust fires up your chemistry and gets your juices flowing. It fills you with hope and a sense of endless possibility. It’s the inkling that love…could happen! Unfortunately, it can also cloud our judgement and have us doing things we never thought we’d do.

Lust is like the much older, semi-slutty sister of love! She gives great advice and loves you to death but watch out because before you know it, she’ll have you shooting Tequila at some sleazy bar pushing you towards the douchebag with the amazing bedroom eyes and the great ass! You’ll wake up in the morning in a haze, very hungover having had a great time but with plenty of regrets.

For me, love is what can be born out of lust. It’s the strong silent type. Where lust is a raging fire that can sometimes burn you…or burn out too quickly, love is the long, slow-burning flame that will keep you warm, safe and toasty for years to come.

Love is when your relationship moves from the fire and sparks of lust into something deeper, more profound and lasting; built on qualities that go beyond chemistry but into deep mutual respect, shared values and dreams, a commitment to each other’s happiness, and a profound sense of “home”.

How long it takes to move from lust to love varies for each and every person but I believe it usually takes a couple of months (3 to 4) to develop.

That being said, I know people who’ve gone from meeting to lust to love much faster and some much slower. I think there are a zillion factors that come into play; how open we are to it, how trusting, how self knowing etc…

For hubby and I we each had a different experience. For him, he knew he loved me probably after 3 months where I took a little longer to come into my feelings. I was more hesitant. To be honest, I wasn’t sure he was the real deal. But he was and he was patient and trusting knowing what I felt long before I did. We were together around 4 months when I finally said those magic words “I love you”.

His response…”I know…”

How long do you think it takes for love to develop? What are some of your love stories? Do you remember the first time either you or your partner said ‘I love you’? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

Beautiful tribute ideas to honor loved ones

On July 28, the local Wellington County (Ontario) chapter of MADD Canada will be releasing 1500 butterflies into the air in memory of the close to 1500 victims killed by impaired drivers in 2011. Taking place at a local park, a bench will also be dedicated in memory of those victims as well as the survivors of impaired driving crashes.

My heart tugged at the thought of such an amazing and beautiful tribute. I wish I could be there to see it in person.

In 2010, we held a one-year anniversary memorial for Mamma K where the family came together to honor her spirit and remember. We had a head stone erected and we buried some of her ashes there. We laid flowers at her grave. We all shared stories and memories about her.

And we all wrote her a little note that we attached to red (environmentally friendly) helium-filled balloons. Together, we released those balloons into the air to be carried to her in heaven. I remember how we all stood for a long time watching those balloons sail off into the sky. The tears rolling down our cheeks. The emotion and the love that filled the air. It was one of the most moving and beautiful tributes I’ve ever been a part of.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

As hubby and I become more and more involved with our local Chapter of MADD Canada, we are gathering ideas for different kinds of memorials and tributes to hold for victims and survivors. What kinds of tributes have you seen or been a part of that have wowed you?

On August 1, 2009, my beautiful mother-in-law’s life was cut tragically short by an impaired driver and my stepson’s life changed forever. In honor of Donna and Jordan Kennie, please don’t drink and drive. Impaired driving is 100% preventable. Think about it.

Support MADD Canada and follow them on Facebook, Twitter (@maddcanada), YouTube, and on the Web. And answer their Call to Action (the post is dated 2010 but the Call to Action is ongoing)!

More blog deliciousness here:

Urban Word Wednesday: Port-a-Hover

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Port-a-Hover: the hover position women take when using a port-a-potty so that their ass cheeks don’t touch the seat of the port-a-potty.

Examples Of Use:

As you know, hubby and I recently took a little mini-vacation to Shediac, New Brunswick: beach/cottage country. As it so happened, the Lobster Festival was in full swing during our stay which meant tons of neat things to see and do; daily entertainment, concerts, and a full exhibition with rides and games galore.

On Thursday evening, after a long day at the beach, we headed over to the beer gardens to see a great Bon Jovi tribute band, Keep the Faith.

Since it was a beer garden, there weren’t any seats. So before the band came on stage, hubby and I copped a squat just outside the tent on a side walk. The port-a-potties just behind us.

We enjoyed a beer and the cool breeze. There were people all around us, sitting, standing, smoking. That’s when hubby and I had the following convo much to our neighbor’s chuckles.

Hubby: you gonna check out a port-a-potty before the concert?

Me: yeah, probably a good idea.

Hubby: make sure you do the port-a-hover.

Me: Nah, I’m just gonna sit right down in the urine.

*Hubby snorts his beer – girl next to him (who was obviously eavesdropping) has her jaw dropped*

Hubby: what?!?!?

Me (with a straight face): my hamstring is still sore from golf so I don’t think I can manage the port-a-hover. Whatever. It’s only urine right? I mean…in emergency situations, people drink it so how bad can it be to get some on my ass? A GoGirl would totally come in handy right now!

Hubby: I’m speechless!

*we fist pump*

Do you practice the port-a-hover? Ever had to just sit down (and shudder to think what’s beneath you)? Share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

Kegel panties?! Because tighter is better…

Jenny Hansen did a timely undies chronicles post yesterday that had me oohing and aahing over the latest innovations in double-duty bras and texting adult underpants. Definitely worth the read folks! Timely because I had me an undie chronicle of my own all lined up for y’all to swoon over today. Jenny’s gonna lose her shit over this one! Squeeeeee!

It all started on the weekend. Hubby and I had the pleasure of hanging with friends who are expecting a baby in the near future. Having never been pregnant and given my totally curious nature, we dove right into a lengthy question and answer session. One of my friend’s concerns was regarding the vajayjay; will it go back to its former glory after childbirth or will it be forever stretched into an echoing canyon?

Heart breaking for her anxiety, I went out in search of answers or some kind of product that could help. Girl (you know who you are), this post is for YOU!

Allow me to introduce you to….the PantyO; the kegel exercising panty…because tighter is better!

Shut the front door. I know!

This panty may look like any other slightly bejeweled panty but it’s a panty that packs a punch with a kegel exercise extension (about one inch in height) sewn right into the crotch of the panty.

Inside the PantyO (www.pantyo.com)

That’s right…when you put the panty on; you insert the silicon extension into your hooha to give you a “focus” point to perform your kegels.

No more wondering if you are squeezing the right muscles; when you clench your cookie and she grips that cool cucumber like there’s no tomorrow, you’ll know your working your kegels and that a tighter twat is around the corner.

And for my friend with the concerns about her vajayjay after having a baby, kegels help restore the pelvic wall after pregnancy and labor. BAM! Girl, I got your back!!! I mean shoot…what are friends for, right?!?!

And that’s not all. The benefits and importance from performing kegels goes beyond muff magic. They also:

  • Strengthen the pelvic wall for pre-pregnancy and easier labor (shut up?!?! Seriously?!?!).
  • Improves bladder control (always a plus).
  • Helps tighten vaginal passage which can increase sexual pleasure (sold!).

This is one workout that’s easy to do anytime, anyplace. Fire on your PantyOs and head out shopping, working, or watching TV knowing your vajayjay will thank you (and reward you) for it later!

Basic PantyO

The PantyOs comes in two styles. You can get the cheeky PantyO for $85 (as seen above) or the more basic PantyO for $52 and can order either here. Both are made from 100% spandex featuring Swarovski’s Crystals and the pantyO silicon exercise extension.

I wonder if this would make a weird or awkward baby shower gift? Hmmmm…

It’s Twisted Tuesday and that means it’s time to enjoy a smile, giggle or laugh…here’s hoping I’ve provided it in spades…enjoy!

More blog deliciousness here:

How long should you make a guy wait? The Singles need your advice!

I’ve got a bunch of single gal pals (the Singles) that come to me for relationship advice. I gleefully and enthusiastically deliver all tidbits of advice I have to offer acknowledging that it’s based solely on my personal experience.

In one area, me and the Singles ALWAYS differ!

How long do you wait before going ALL the way?

My advice; 4 to 8 weeks, depending on how quickly the relationship progresses. To be honest, I think the longer you wait, THE BETTER! Now let’s be clear. I am not saying you shouldn’t have any intimate fun…there’s lots of boudoir frolicking that can be had that does not involve going the whole way. I am merely suggesting that you keep things to 1st and 2nd base for while.

The Singles gawk, throw their heads back in disgust and usually look at me like a 3-headed dragon.

We have NEEDS Natalie….” they scream at me.

My response: “do you want to get laid or find a life partner?” because I think the two goals require two totally different approaches.

To back me up, I saw an interview between Dr. Phil and Steve Harvey, comedian and author of Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man and Straight Talk, No Chasers, where Steve suggests women make the men they are dating wait 90 days before they have sex.

The biggest mistake that women make is they find out the information too late. You find out he’s married too late, you find out something’s wrong with him, he’s not really working, he’s not really a committed-type guy,” he says. “You can get this figured out in 90 days if you give yourself a chance, but once you commit yourself physically to a guy, you become emotionally involved, and you try to force it to make it work because ‘I slept with the guy.’ And you end up dragging yourself through the mud with a relationship that you really need to get rid of.

I emailed that little ditty around to all the Singles.

Most of them did not reply. Go figure.

Steve shared his thoughts on his 90-day rule and dating in general on the Ellen show and I gotta say, I was sold on his theory!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Amen Steve!

To all my Singles out there, here are my final pieces of relationship advice:

  1. Set your BAR sky high!
  2. Shout it from the rooftop! OWN it!
  3. Demand to know his intentions/plans on the first date!
  4. Set a 90-day (or something similar) no-sex rule so he knows you ain’t here to PLAY, you here to PLAN!

If he’s worthy, he’ll stick around!

I know, you are all wondering….do I practice what I preach?!?!

Hubby and I waited 4 weeks from the time we started dating exclusively.

Why didn’t I wait 90 days, which was my rule at the time? There were a couple of factors that I think made the timeline exception warranted.

Relationship intensity was fierce: for hubby and I, 4 weeks together was like 90 days for most. We spent nearly every single day together from the time we met. And it wasn’t all flirting and fun during that time. I took Steve’s advice to heart and grilled hubby extensively (who grilled me right back), we explored the nitty gritty details like our mutual interests, our values, and the kind of relationships/life we wanted with a partner. We were both dead honest with each other from day one. It was intense but it was also as natural as breathing.

And……

Hubby got rave reviews from multiple credible sources: hubby had worked at my then workplaces for years but was gone by the time I was hired. So all of my coworkers (all women – varying ages) had known him for ages. These women didn’t just speak highly of him…they adored, worshipped and loved him. To most, he was like a son to them. In their eyes, I could do no better and they all told me we’d be perfect together.

How right these ladies were!

But I still made him wait 4 weeks! And when we took things to the next level, I knew what I was getting myself into and I knew he was worth it. And vice versa.

So…have y’all got my back? How long do you think the Singles should wait before jumping in the hay with a new man…and why? What’s your best piece of relationship advice? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,988 other followers

%d bloggers like this: