Breaking in spring with fling and flare

As May comes to a close, Hubby and I have been diligently celebrating our most revered month. It’s a month of celebration and glory; a month of happiness; a month of pure JOY; and a month of skipping, hand-in-hand through the tulips. Everything looks brighter, better, more jubilant in May.

Why do we love May so much?

Gardening starts? Nope

Spring is in the air? Nope

Flowers and trees are in bloom? Lovely…but that’s not it….

BBQ season begins? Well…that is a definite bonus but…nope

Golf? Ok, well that is quite yummy!!!! But no…

May 1st marks the official start of outdoor sex season (OSS). Yeahhhhh!!!!

That’s right folks. It’s time to get your groove on in the big bad outdoors. And today, I’m going to share with you some tips and tricks that I’ve tried and tested (the things I do for my readers…) to make sure you get the most out of this year’s OSS!

Location Location Location

I can’t say it enough. It’s true in real estate and it’s true for OSS. You gotta get the right spot. First, you must be on the same page as to your goals. Is it the risk of getting caught that gets you fired up or do you prefer a little privacy? By making sure you are the same page, you and your partner can find the perfect local.

For those exhibitionist types, why not try a quiet park at dusk or a dark alley late at night. Perhaps an evening beach walk to cool off (and heat up), or slip away from the party to find a quiet spot just in the tree line.

If you’d prefer to enjoy OSS without the fear of public observation or police intervention, try the rooftop of your apartment building or perhaps take a little off-trail exploration on your next hiking trip. Why not your own backyard (hubby and I have a very private back deck)? No privacy…no problem! You can make a private area in your backyard with the careful placement of a BBQ, some chairs and a beach umbrella. Get creative people.

Planning for spontaneity = tons of fun

Although you want your OSS to be fun and spontaneous, a little planning will ensure things go smoothly. Make sure to have OSS kits in all the key places; the truck, the camp, the RV, the Rhino etc. You get the idea. OSS kits should contain sunblock, bug spray, lube, toilet paper, baby wipes and hand sanitizer. I also highly recommend keeping small travel blankets here and there since they come in mighty handy for OSS. Nothing kills the mood more than sand in all the wrong places or a burn from a hot car hood.

The right clothing makes all the difference

For those interludes that are more private, clothing is less of an issue since there’s nothing quite as liberating as frolicking totally buck in the bush. But for those outdoor escapades that might be a wee bit more risky (the beach in the DR, for example), wearing the right apparel will only enhance your overall experience. You want to wear items that grants access that can be hidden just as quickly as shown. For men, it’s less of an issue but for the ladies, try a flowing dress to hide a multitude of sins. Apparel that has stretch is your new BFF so skirts with a little bit of Spandex work wonderfully.

There you have it people, my tried, tested and true tips and tricks to getting your nasty on in the great outdoors. OSS only lasts so long so get out there and get busy!

What’s your take on outdoor sex season? Are you game or do you turn your nose up at such ideas? Any tips and tricks to share with my readers who dare to try it? What’s your favorite or craziest OSS spot? Come on…share the wealth…

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Comments

  1. Very Fun post, Natalie!! :)
    OSS can be a lot of fun! I hate to be the first comment, but I insist on pointing out some dangers, especially if you want to try it off the trails in the woods or outside tents: poison ivy, ticks & chiggers. (Chiggers are in the southeast & east coast states).
    Bring a big blanket & keep most of your clothing on. This is time to play at medieval lady loses virginity on wedding night. You know what I’m talking about: sheet between bodies w/a hole for the 2 parts to meet. For these modern times, keep the blanket under you and just open clothing to get parts together.
    I used to be married to a military guy. Whenever they would come back from the field, they each would check their field partner all over to make sure there were no ticks. My ex-husband contratced lyme disease from ticks and he was in pain for months. Ticks especially love pine needles. I’m not trying to ruin the mood, but there’s nothing worse than ruining OSS for good. :)

    Monique

    • Hey Monique, thanks so much for swinging by and your comment. It’s so true, there are definitely dangers to watch out for and I’m glad you pointed them out. It’s important if you are going to engage in OSS, to have fun and be safe at the same time. :-)

  2. That was the best post I’ve read in a long time.OSS is very close to my heart as that is how it happened for me the very first time. May every woman married to every man grow the same spark that you carry so effortlessly. Your hubby is a lucky guy.

  3. I’m not much for OSS. I don’t have ANY desire to be caught, and I don’t really like the outdoors except for the beach. It seems all romantic in the movies, but in real life you just end up with a sandy crack and maybe an arrest record. I did go to college with some people who loved the risk of being caught. One friend had sex in every sports facility on campus. I think she was making up for the fact that her boyfriend couldn’t even play ping pong. :)

    • ROFL!!! It’s so true – it can be rather uncomfortable (which can ruin the mood). I remember hubby propping me up on the hood of the car once and near burnt my tootsie off. LOL!! Lesson learned. And if you don’t especially like the outdoors, then OSS is definitely not going to be up your alley. :-)
      OMG…your friend’s story is a riot!!!

  4. Great tips, Natalie! I’m all for anything that spices things up, assuming we don’t get poison ivy or arrested. LOL

  5. Um, I think I’ll leave this one to the younger, more adventurous crowd. I got all my OSS out of my a long time ago and now there’s something to be said for a nice fire inside with blankets, padded floors, and no one watching. You go girl!

  6. Wow. Umm…I don’t quite know what to say!

    I’m kinda on the old side of the page, so some of this has lost its charm for me, but I do remember a few times, early on…

    My advice? Check for ticks afterward. LOL!

  7. LOL…excellent post, Natalie! You and your husband certainly know how to keep the fire burning.

    A BIG blanket on a private sandy beach at dusk would work for me, and even a nice comfy piece of patio furniture or a jacuzzi on a deck. Other than that, I’d probably have to pass. When I first read OSS, all I could think was OMG, what if a snake crawled on the blanket?! Other than that, I’d say the only ‘adventures’ I’d be up for would be in the water, a locked bathroom at a party, or in a car somewhere. :)

  8. Natalie! Thanks you so much for including my post. I’m glad you liked it.
    Your tips for OSS are priceless. We can see you put a lot of thought into this :-)
    OS is trickier these days. Years ago, the worst that could happen if someone caught you would be a bit of embarrassment. Now everyone has a smartphone! If people stumble upon your frolicking, they can take a picture or make a video and post it on the intertubes. You don’t want to become a celebrity that way (I’m assuming) :-)

    • You are welcome Fabio. Wasn’t sure if you’d be ok with a little linky love with a bit racier post. LOL! :-)
      Glad you enjoyed the post. And yes, it was definitely a wee bit safer and easier to manage back in the day. I’d hate to be inadvertently caught and YouTubed!! LOL!!!

  9. ROFL…fabulous post Natalie. Have to agree that anything that adds spice to the relationship is a good thing and I’m SOOOOO adding OSS to the vocab!

  10. If I were just a bit younger, I’d be really into OSS. I loved it when I was in my 20’s and if my 1st hubby had been up for it, we’d have been doing for many years. Now, lying down in places that aren’t comfy doesn’t do it for me. However, my hubs and I do partake in Outdoor/Public grab ass (and any other private part we feel like grabbing). I started that when we began dating and he loved it. We haven’t run out of new locales to grab/squeeze/caress each other. It’s our ‘private joke’ on the world. We don’t care if we get caught either.
    So, it’s a little more tame than OSS, but we have some fun and laughs anyway.
    Just LOVE your posts, Natalie!

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