Urban Word Wednesday: Famine Underwear

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

I am sticking with the panty theme after yesterday’s post on the C string Thong.

Famine Underwear: The garments you wear during a shortage of underwear, when you haven’t done laundry in several weeks or months. Usually characterized by lack of elasticity, holes (usually large and awkwardly located), stains, and typically are at least 5-10 years old. In some cases soccer shorts, underwear of unknown origin, thongs, bathing suit bottoms, or ‘granny panties’ can be considered famine underwear, but do not necessarily meet the above criteria.

Examples Of Use:

Hubby and I were getting dressed for work the other morning when he totally busted me.

Hubby: WHAT is that you are wearing?!?!??

Me: what???

Hubby: those undies are like putting No Name Brand BBQ sauce on Grade A steak…a real shame!

Me: oh come on hubby! After a 2-week vacation of slinky and sexy I needed a break. I missed my famine underwear! Not to mention, there’s nothing better than famine undies when a gal is feeling all bloated and gross.

Hubby: I get the need for comfort but my god, can’t we toss those and buy you some newer ones that aren’t so…gray???

Me: but these ones are all broke in! It’s like they have morphed to my ass perfectly. They are custom famine underwear. I mean…you can’t just buy that kind of comfort and design. It takes years of wearing, washing, and general beating up to get true famine underwear.

Hubby: ok ok…I give! Keep the damn famine undies but just know…there is nothing sexy about that!

Me: I can live with that. Besides, trust me! You got your own whole compartment of famine underwear that I never say a word about! Rips and holes are just as unsexy as gray! Just sayin’…

Hubby: ….fair enough…

When do you break out your famine underwear? Does your significant other complain and threaten to toss them? Do you threaten to toss theirs? Come on…share the wealth…

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