Urban Word Wednesday: Turdburglar

Oh and pssstttt…I am also guest posting today over at Myndi Shafer’s on my love of beauty pageants so be sure to drop by for a visit! I’d love to connect with you there. 

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Turdburglar: An annoying person who rudely interrupts you while taking a dump by either knocking on the stall door or attempting to open it.

Examples Of Use:

As most of you know, hubby and I were down south for the last two weeks enjoying a lovely, most romantic vacation together. There was lots of hand holding, kissing, staring into each other’s eyes for what seemed like hours lost in the wonderment of our love…and there was turdburgling to keep us grounded in urban word reality!

I was in the bathroom enjoying a quiet morning read when all of a sudden hubby strolls in.

Me: excuse me????

*looking all horrified*

Hubby: what?

Me: ummmm….a little privacy please?

Hubby: oh, I’m sorry, are you pooing? I thought you were just doing number 1. Sorry.

*quickly making his exit*

Me (hollering): you are a total turdburglar! Now I can’t go. Everything’s locked up like fort knox. You’ve terrified my turd. It totally has stage fright now. Great!

Hubby: sorry honey!! Well…maybe the urge will come back later. Can I come back in and finish my hair?

Me: might as well….

Ever been attacked by a turdburglar? Come on….Share the wealth…

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Comments

  1. ROFL! Natalie, you and hubs crack me up (btw, I don’t get why it’s okay for him to walk in, period, no matter what’s going on in the toilet). Well, this was an interesting read with my morning cereal. :D

    • WAHAHAHA!!! We’ve always been okay with either coming in doing number 1 but number 2 requires privacy. Just our thing I guess. LOL!
      Yes…hubby and I definitely have fun and we are glad to spread that fun around. LOL!!

  2. Laugh out loud on Jenny’s post about moms and magazine advice. And where do I begin with turdburglaring? First, I’m impressed at the words you manage to get me to type as part of your Urban Word Wednesdays! LOL. Thanks for sharing…okay, maybe not…maybe. So funny.

  3. Thanks for the laugh, Natalie!!!

  4. ROFL! I totally think I overheard (rather than read) that conversation just now. Too hilarious, Natalie. Did Mr. Turdburglar get his due punishment???

  5. Classic! I’m with you. Open door for #1 but #2 needs privacy. In our home, it never, and I mean NEVER fails that the moment the back of my legs hit the seat for #1 or #2, I hear, “Mom?” They have potty-radar!

  6. You guys make me laugh…. by the way your hubby’s hair looks great today!

  7. OMG, Natalie…LOL! You crack me up! I would love to be a fly on the wall in your house sometimes. NOT in the bathroom when there’s any turdburglaring going on though. Hmm. I wonder how long it will take Google to have ‘turdburglaring’ come up as the first option in a Kristy K. James search? :)

    • Fly on the wall – if only – you’d die laughing. I don’t even post half of the insanity. LOL!! But that is what I love about us – our ability to laugh, have fun, and not take life too serious.
      Oh gosh…hahaha…let me know! That will be a riot! Definite screen shot worthiness! LOL!

  8. ROFL…one word…KIDS. I can’t remember the last time I sat on the toilet without being interrupted! Of course, with all boys, that door is locked but that doesn’t stop them from pounding on said door. If I had bashful turds, I’d be soooo blocked up :lol:

    I swear, nothing is sacred on your blog! :D

    • Bashful turds…OMG LUV it Raelyn!! ROFL!!
      Seriously, you people with children – how do you do it???? My land…I’d die. Our bathroom ajoins to our master and I make hubby turn on the TV if I am heading in there. The thought of someone hearing me…eeekeee…bashful turds, that’s my issue. LOL!!
      HAHAHA – nope…nothing is sacred….LOL!! We are an open book. :-)

    • Raelyn… I used to keep a holiday popcorn tin sitting beside my claw foot bathtub. I liked to use it to set candles on when I wanted a relaxing bath. Unfortunately my bathroom door did NOT have a lock, which I regretted a lot one day. A three year old I was babysitting followed me in (and I was only going to be a minute…). She grabbed the tin, dragged it over by the toilet, SAT DOWN ON IT…and continued to chat about whatever she’d been chatting about before I had to ‘go.’ Yeah…lack of privacy there…

      • O.M.G. Kristy! DYING over here! That’s hysterical….

      • Actually, having the child in the bathroom while you’re on the toilet is a recommended potty training method. However, when oldest wee beastie attempted to insert a tampon up his diapered bum I turned the chore over to That Man. 18 month-old boys really don’t need to know what a tampon is let alone where it goes :lol:

      • It is now, Natalie. It was a little…um…shall we say strange at the time. :)

        Oh wow, Raelyn…that is just too funny! I can see why you let ‘That Man’ take over the bathroom training at that point! I never had that happen, but did find where my youngest had managed to toddle into the bathroom at some point…and tucked a pad inside her diaper. Yet another strange experience with kids. :)

  9. For some reason, when I read “turdburglar,” I thought you meant a dog who eats other animals’ poop. Or maybe that you were talking about what my dog things when I bag his poop and throw it away.

  10. Terrified my turd??!! BAHAHAHAHA! That one killed me. It’s nice to know that you and hubby take the UrbanWords on vacation. (They deserved some fun in the sun too!)

    That being said, hubby and I do not share bathrooms. Ever. But we are in the stage where Baby Girl is in on 80% of all toilet time. :-)

  11. ROFL! My hubby always calls out. “Dropping the kiddies off at the pool?” Thanks darling. Not anymore, huh? Your line of kids got all backed up! :D Turdburgler! Love it. You are a total riot. When the kids were younger they were always busting in on me. I now need to lock them out. Never a moment alone.

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