Urban Word Wednesday: Five Alarm F*ck

Welcome to Urban Word Wednesday! New words, phrases, and sayings I am learning (and using in my day-to-day life) brought to you by ME…and the Urban Dictionary. You are gonna love these!

Five Alarm F*ck (a new slang saying brought to you by hubby): When the hotness factor reaches epic proportions and it becomes imperative to knock boots ASAP.

Examples Of Use:

Hubby and I were shopping for some frozen fruit and lemons at Costco last week. I didn’t think I was wearing anything overly “hot” and sexy. It was just plain old work clothes but hubby was in some kind of a mood and the following convo ensued in the bread aisle.

Hubby: God you are looking good today!

*smacks my ass with an open hand much to the surprise of many customers*

Me: really? I’m wearing my usual work pants?

Hubby: I don’t know what to tell you but that ass is looking fine! Really spectacular.

Me: it must be all the potty squats I’ve been doing as part of Ginger’s WritersButt workouts.

Hubby: whatever it is, it’s working and girl…I think we got ourselves a Five Alarm F*ck on our hands.

Me: what?!?! A five alarm f*ck?

Hubby: yes! You know, at the fire station they have a fire alarm system. One alarm, two alarms etc. The higher number of alarms, the more serious the fire, the more resources they respond with. And girl, you are looking so HOT we got ourselves a five alarm f*ck. We should hit the truck and go parking like RIGHT now!

Me: well as much I appreciate the compliment and you know how I hate to disappoint…I think you’re gonna have to put your own fire out today.

Hubby: seriously?!?! When did you lose your sense of adventurous?

Me: like all women darlin’….as soon as I got the diamond baby!

Hubby: damn!

Ever had a five alarm f*ck on your hands? How would you handle it? Ever sneak off for a little nooner or a parking party on your lunch hour? Come on…share the wealth…

More blog deliciousness here:

  • Roy Street gives us the lowdown on an all-natural, tried and testing technique to stave off aging and by keeping it tight and tiny! Minds out of the gutter people!
  • Did y’all see Jenny Hansen’s post this week with her latest edition of the Undie Chronicles where she serves up edible undies for….you guessed it…HUBBY!!
  • Just about died laughing reading Jenny from the Blog’s post on sex or oven cleaning! I hear ya girl! LOL!
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