Hubby’s Corner: the parking meter and the ass!

It was a cold wintery February when I was on one of my lunch breaks returning to my truck. That’s when I discovered a parking ticket neatly tucked under my windshield wiper. 

And as I pull the ticket off my window and started an internal dialogue “don’t start none – won’t be none!” (that’s for my Blog Bunnies) I quickly noticed that the parking meters were buried about the width of a car back into the snow bank.

Only about 1 foot of the meter was sticking up out of the snow. So of course my wheels start turning and I think to myself “SELF? I bet if I took a picture of these parking meters with me when I go pay the ticket that they will tear up the ticket!”

So I grab the handy digi-cam and snap a photo….then I proudly walk to City Hall with my parking ticket in one hand and “Exhibit A” in the other hand.

I get to City Hall and I step up to the counter. I turn the camera on with the parking meter photo proudly displayed on the LCD monitor on the back. As I hand the guy the camera with the biggest, smug look I can muster, I say “Do you think I should be ticketed for this….I mean those meters are buried in there pretty deep!!!”

As I hand the gentleman the camera I hear an ever so innocent…beep (as he must have hit the “previous” button on the back of the camera)! The guy starts laughing hysterically….and says: “I don’t know whose ass this is…but either way I don’t think they can ticket you for that!” He turns the camera back in my direction to display to my surprise and horror a picture of a big hairy ass!

The time continuum freezes!

At this point I flash back to the previous Saturday night of playing cards and drinks and how the digi-cam was floating around the card table. Oops, I remember that I took a picture of my closed elbow to make it look like a picture of an ass!!!

It’s my elbow…I swear!

And ZAP! I’m back from the memory flash and I blurt out…”oh no sir…that’s my elbow!”

I thought he was going to fall off his chair laughing so hard! And it quickly dawns on me that I just basically communicated that I don’t know my ass from my elbow to a total stranger!

So I show him the PROPER picture of the meters…and in between breaths he tells me that he is only covering for someone and to come back tomorrow. But to leave the ass picture at home and they would likely discharge the ticket.

I was SO embarrassed…I left the building and phoned Natalie as I illuminated York Street with my red face and made my way back to work with my pride and humility in a shit sack dragging behind me!

As a follow-up – I was so embarrassed that I never returned to City Hall for several weeks. When I did go back I didn’t take the camera – I was just going to pay the ticket.  Since I was so late coming to pay the ticket, they had already scheduled a court date, which meant the fine increased 3 times the amount.

So a few week later, I had to go to court to fight the ticket. As I’m sitting on the court bench outside the court room, guess who sits down beside me on the bench? That’s right! The guy I showed the ass picture to. He’s there to testify at my court case! Seems he’s the one that wrote the ticket!

He looks over at me and says “Do you remember me?” And I’m positive I melted into the bench with embarrassment as I replied “YES!” 

He looked at me with the kindest smile/smirk possible and says “We’ll leave out the part about your ass picture!”

By far one of the most em-bare-assing moments of my life!

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Comments

  1. Bahahahaha! Sorry, but this is the funniest story I’ve read in a long time.

  2. OMG. *coffee spew* from sipping and laughing.

    I thought you were going to have some sort of great parking tip for my husband — and instead you gave me a faux butt pic that I’m certain he or my son will attempt someday soon. Oy. Too funny!
    Thanks for the laughs!

  3. LMFAO. Sure that’s your elbow;) Men never grow up, do they? Did you have to pay the ticket?

  4. Jillian Dodd - Glitter, Bliss and Perfect Chaos says:

    That’s hilarious. I don’t know about anyone else, but in the tradition of truth in journalism, we made need a picture of your ass to actually compare it to the picture of your elbow, because I’m not convinced it’s your elbow.

    • Haha- becarefull what you ask for! Unfortunately you’ll have to take my journalistic integrity at its face value! Natalie is the only one that catches a glimpse of those fine goods but I could supply a bigger photo of my closed elbow if that floats your boat! Haha

    • ROTFL!!! :-)

  5. I’m glad it IS your elbow – otherwise your butt is hairier on one side and that’s just wrong.

    I hope you took that nice guy out to lunch or something. He at least deserved coffee for showing up to your court date! Oh, wait, he’s the one who gave you the ticket in the first place. Nevermind.

    So now I’m kind of wondering what ELSE goes on at these card games. Hmmmm…

    • I knew I could count on you to zoom in and inspect the finest details of that photo!
      As for the cards – you’ll have to come visit – Nat says you have your ticket booked already! Hahaha

  6. OMG, this could SO be My Guy if it snowed any decent amount in Vegas, LOL!

  7. Elena Aitken says:

    OMG! That was the best laugh ever. So funny. And Tameri, I was thinking the same thing…uneven hairy ass…not good. :)

  8. Now, that’s what I call a funny post!

  9. I can’t wait to show my 12 year old how to make an arm look like an ass! Or maybe I should wait. Thanks for the laugh!

  10. Nancy J Nicholson says:

    Natalie, I’d love to be a mouse in your house. I think the two of you would wear me out, but it’d be fun to spy on the two of you.

    • LMAO…we are definitely “on” most of the time. My family says we are the ones that make sure there is always conversation and tons of laughs going on…hehehe…you could totally handle us – we have quiet time too…lol! :)))

  11. hehehehe…i had something similar happen once when I bought a used digital camera..it came pre-loaded with …..pictures. which when i was showing off my camera to my family suddenly displayed on screen. yikes.

  12. Amy, that’s an awesome idea! I’m going to show my 13 year-old after trick or treating (he’s going with three girls. I really do want him to have a chance at romance and him showing them his ‘butt’ might kill it).

    Hubby – if I play cards with you, it better be hearts or crazy 8’s, because those are the only card games I know! If you play poker, I’m leaving my cash at home.

    I’m totally planning a trip out there. I just need to get my pink suitcase bedazzled and I’m all set!

    • You and Amy are like THE coolest Moms ever!!

      Hubby will play any card game you want and we’ll teach you a couple goodies like Wizard!!! :)))

      Woot woot…can’t wait for the visit…and to see that fahhhhbulous luggage! :))))

    • WAHOO – fresh unsuspecting suckers – er’ I mean VISITORS!!! I can’t wait!

  13. Thanks to “Hartford” for the opportunity to help out with your blog during your busy time of year! It was fun…looking forward to another “Hubby’s Corner” next month……brace your selves!

  14. OMG – I am saving so much money not going out for entertainment any more. These blogs and the comments just keep getting more and more hilarious! You are ALL a riot!

  15. Thanks for passing the laugh back today! This post almost ran me off the road (I was stopped in a huge traffic jam, I swear.)

    • LOL!! Yours had me in hysterics – seriously! I was glad I was at my desk with the door shut because I snorted. :-) We can all use more laughs, eh!? Glad you enjoyed ol’ hubby. I wonder what he’ll come up with next – God help us all! LOL!

  16. Too funny! And I agree with the others that you and your husband are a hoot and totally made for each other. Let’s get you a reality deal! I would enjoy watching all the adventures. :-)

    • WAHAHAHA!! I told hubby we should launch a reality show and he near died. My lord, we’d really be insane then. LOL!!! Glad you enjoyed the post – hold onto your hat for the next one…hehehe

  17. Coleen Patrick says:

    Hysterical!!! Thanks for the laugh :)

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