And as I pull the ticket off my window and started an internal dialogue “don’t start none - won’t be none!” (that’s for my Blog Bunnies) I quickly noticed that the parking meters were buried about the width of a car back into the snow bank.
Only about 1 foot of the meter was sticking up out of the snow. So of course my wheels start turning and I think to myself ”SELF? I bet if I took a picture of these parking meters with me when I go pay the ticket that they will tear up the ticket!”
So I grab the handy digi-cam and snap a photo….then I proudly walk to City Hall with my parking ticket in one hand and “Exhibit A” in the other hand.
I get to City Hall and I step up to the counter. I turn the camera on with the parking meter photo proudly displayed on the LCD monitor on the back. As I hand the guy the camera with the biggest, smug look I can muster, I say “Do you think I should be ticketed for this….I mean those meters are buried in there pretty deep!!!”
As I hand the gentleman the camera I hear an ever so innocent…beep (as he must have hit the “previous” button on the back of the camera)! The guy starts laughing hysterically….and says: “I don’t know whose ass this is…but either way I don’t think they can ticket you for that!” He turns the camera back in my direction to display to my surprise and horror a picture of a big hairy ass!
The time continuum freezes!
At this point I flash back to the previous Saturday night of playing cards and drinks and how the digi-cam was floating around the card table. Oops, I remember that I took a picture of my closed elbow to make it look like a picture of an ass!!!
And ZAP! I’m back from the memory flash and I blurt out…”oh no sir…that’s my elbow!”
I thought he was going to fall off his chair laughing so hard! And it quickly dawns on me that I just basically communicated that I don’t know my ass from my elbow to a total stranger!
So I show him the PROPER picture of the meters…and in between breaths he tells me that he is only covering for someone and to come back tomorrow. But to leave the ass picture at home and they would likely discharge the ticket.
I was SO embarrassed…I left the building and phoned Natalie as I illuminated York Street with my red face and made my way back to work with my pride and humility in a shit sack dragging behind me!
As a follow-up – I was so embarrassed that I never returned to City Hall for several weeks. When I did go back I didn’t take the camera – I was just going to pay the ticket. Since I was so late coming to pay the ticket, they had already scheduled a court date, which meant the fine increased 3 times the amount.
So a few week later, I had to go to court to fight the ticket. As I’m sitting on the court bench outside the court room, guess who sits down beside me on the bench? That’s right! The guy I showed the ass picture to. He’s there to testify at my court case! Seems he’s the one that wrote the ticket!
He looks over at me and says “Do you remember me?” And I’m positive I melted into the bench with embarrassment as I replied “YES!”
He looked at me with the kindest smile/smirk possible and says “We’ll leave out the part about your ass picture!”
By far one of the most em-bare-assing moments of my life!